#hoe-doroki

“Oi,” Bakugou beckons to Todoroki, “Check you got everything.”

“I’m running late. I’ll be okay.” He says, before closing the apartment door shut from behind.

Lifting his ego roll onto his awaited breakfast plate, Bakugou rolls his eyes. The damn bastard. He expects his roommate to run up the stairs back, looking for the one thing he always forgets to bring.

It’s what Bakugou calls ‘The Half-N-Half Curse’. No matter what he was leaving for, if Todoroki doesn’t double check, he will always be missing at least one thing he needs.

Getting the mail? He forgot to bring the key. Going to work? He didn’t put on his tie. Grabbing groceries? He has only one shoe on. Hell, just stepping outside for some fresh air, and Todoroki needs a damn shirt on.

Kirishima and the rest of their friends just thinks he’s a bit forgetful, but Bakugou knows fucking better. It’s a shitty curse, rooted from their new apartment complex, that fortunately haunts Todoroki, instead of him.

So, when there’s a tentative knock on his front door, Bakugou shakes his head, clicking at his tongue. Of fucking course. He told the idiot to check, and now, look at where he is; back.

Bakugou purposefully takes his sweet ass time. Turning off the stove slowly. Washing his hands in the sink. Dabbing his hands dry with a paper towel. Tossing the paper towel away. Fixing his tank top on his shoulders. And, finally, he walks over to the front door, with ease.

He fits in a good, long yawn, before opening the apartment door. “What did I fucking tell you-”

The words die in his throat. Instead, abrupt confusion floods his mind.

“U-Uh,” The stranger feebly voices, blushing, looking away and seemingly hiding behind the pizza box in his hands. “Delivery?”

Bakugou can only blink back. Stare right at the short, freckled guy, fitted in red and yellow, and capped with ‘Almighty Pizzeria’ on his hat. Green curls spill over his face, crowded in the small hat.

“I didn’t order a pizza.” Bakugou states.

Now, it’s the other guy’s turn to look confused. “H-Huh?” He quickly scans over his pizza box in his hands, where a receipt is taped across it.

Bringing his fingers, noticeably scarred, the delivery guy stares openly at the paper. “It says at the U.A Heights, sir.”

That is the apartment complex. But, nevertheless. “I didn’t order a damn pizza.”

Green doe-eyes look up at him, worried. “Are you not Apartment Room 218?”

It takes a second too long to reel Bakugou back to the question. Those damn big eyes almost had him fucking hypnotized, for fuck’s sake.

Besides, the biggest surprise is that he is indeed Room 218. What the actual fuck?

“..Did someone buy that shit for me?” He asks, more to himself.

“Oh no. It’s not paid, sir.” The guy responds.

“What the-?!” Bakugou finally takes the time to look down at the guy’s shirt, reading over his name tag. He glares back at him. “You’re fucking telling me that even though I didn’t order this, I need to still buy this?”

The tag read ‘Midoriya Deku’. Whatta shitty name.

Whatever, right now, Midoriya’s looking like a deer in the headlights, utterly lost. “I-I wouldn’t know. I only started last month, and I’ve never had this situation arise.” He stutters out. “I would think you still need to pay, since it’s to your address, though.”

“I ain’t paying for this!” Bakugou uproars outright.

“Sorry, I just don’t know!”

“What even is this pizza?!”

Once again, Midoriya glances down at the receipt. “..It’s a Hawaiian pizza, with sardines, instead of ham, and extra added olives.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not paying for that fucking disgusting shit!” That’s the worst combination he’s ever heard in his fucking life. And, Todoroki has the weirdest ones.

“Um,” Midoriya starts weakly, “..Are you positive you didn’t order this?”

“Of course I’m fucking sure! You think I’m a damn liar?!”

Hurriedly, Midoriya shakes his head. “No, no!” He exclaims, “I’m just as confused as you are!”

Then, the weirdest, most insane thought erupts in Bakugou’s thoughts.

Holy shit, did Todoroki order a pizza, and completely forget about it?

“..Do you got the name on that stupid reciept?” Because, Bakugou swears if he hears Todoroki’s name, he will gladly stomp his way to his office company, and scream bloody murder in front of all his collegues.

Midoriya swiftly nods, pointing his finger down at the receipt. “It says it was ordered by Kaminari!”

Oh.

Oh.

“Can I see that paper?” Bakugou lowly voices.

When Midoriya hesitatingly tilts the pizza box to Bakugou’s direction, that’s when Bakugou finally realizes that no, Todoroki wasn’t the biggest idiot he’s ever met.

This Midoriya guy was the biggest idiot he’s ever met.

Todoroki Shouto. You have been dethroned. Lucky bastard.

Easily, Bakugou points directly at it. “It says Room 213.” He states slowly, “The three was never an eight.”

And, just as slow, Midoriya brings the receipt back to his face, eyes scanning all over it.

Bakugou knows when he sees it, the moment those same pretty, green eyes grow as wide as saucers. “O-Oh god.”

“Yeah.” Bakugou crosses his arms. “That shit was never mine. It’s my neighbor’s, down the hall.”

And, the next time he meets up with that Dunce Face, he’s going to have to explain what the hell is that shitty pizza order. That within itself deserves prison.

Regardless, that’s not the real issue here. Midoriya’s face is blooming a deep red, as he steps back. “I-I’m so sorry!”

Quickly, he grabs a card from his front pocket, and offers it wholeheartedly towards Bakugou. “H-Here! I completely did not mean to cause you this total inconvenience! If you are ever interested, u-use this to get yourself any large pizza, free!” He stutters out in one breath.

Raising a brow, Bakugou grabs a hold of the card, their fingers brushing. He tries to ignore the small jolt he felt in his hand, as he inspects the coupon.

‘ALMIGHTY PIZZERIA: FREE LARGE PIZZA, THREE TOPPINGS’.

“Thanks..”

“I’ll take my leave now.” Midoriya does a long bow over Bakugou’s direction. “Thank you for your help, and I apologize again for the mix up.”

God, there was no reason to do that type of bow. It was just a stupid misreading. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t go knocking the wrong tree.” He waves absentmindedly.

He’s about to close the door, before he hears a cough from Midoriya’s end. “A-Also,” He mumbles, head still down and low, “I suggest you wear pants, next time, sir.”

Bakugou furrows his brows. He takes a look down at his legs, and unbeknownst to him, he had been in his damn, tight ass briefs, the entire time.

Slamming the door shut, Bakugou feels a hot flush erupt in his face.

Goddamnit. He had forgotten to put on some stupid pants, out of all things.