#hisakata

It’s all so much.

There is a shame deep down in Hisa when it’s revealed that this was all his fault. He didn’t wake up this morning knowing it was his last; If he knew he would be dead before dinner there would have been things Hisa would have done, would have finished, and said. There is so much he wants before he dies. It’s too late though. So he takes every kiss, every hug, and word. People here love him, if not love then respect, if not respect then they simply know his quickly approaching death isn’t fair. He tried to save Rowan. He tried.

There is so much he wants to say so he tries his best.

Loic’s face is grabbed between his hands, pulling him down closer to his face.

“I love you so much, Loic. I love you. I love you. I love you so much and when, not if, when you get out of here I want you to do what you love most, okay? You’re also going to find someone who loves you as Loic. Someone will see someone so loving and gentle and beautiful and wonderful, even more than how I see you. Okay? Do what you love and find love. That is what I want for you. Let me be a happy memory.”

The two share one more kiss before Hisakata, with great reluctance, breaks himself away from Loic. His walk back to his podium is slow. The fish clip is slipped into his hair as he steps up to it.

Much to his own embarrassment, Hisa is still crying but he is also smiling through it all.

“Thanks for trying to lawyer up for me but it wasn’t gonna work. This place ain’t a real court. I was dead the moment I let Rowan go. I’m… I’m really sorry. I am. I’m sorry I killed Rowan. I’m sorry I was trying to press it on Jinpachi. I’m sorry I’ve been an ass and a shit stirrer. I’m sorry it took me until now to believe that a lot of you love me.

It feels really good.”

What else can he say?

“... When you all find whoever is behind this… Beat the shit out of them for me, okay? If that person is in this room then fuck you, man. Fuck you and your stupid death cult running around in FNAF reject costumes. If your goal is to have some poetic, meaningful death at the end of this then fuck you. I hope you’re spared and forced to live a long, borning, uneventful life where you’re miserable and mundane every goddamn day. If your goal is to live long and wondrously then I hope you have a painful end.”

The little angry fire is smothered as soon as it comes. Hisa just laughs a little tiredly.

“I made some promises here and I feel like shit that I can’t keep them… When you guys get out can someone find my dog? Loaf is very spoiled and I’d like for him to stay that way. Please give him a raw food diet and lots of belly rubs. Also you need to babytalk him to clean the eye gunk or he won’t stay still. If any of you meet the Imai family tell them to eat shit and die… Can you find Jitaro Wakabayashi and tell him that I’m really sorry for how I was after Kuragari died and even how I was after I came back. Tell him he’s a really good dad for taking care of a couple of brats and… That I love him.”

This is it, huh? He never thought this is how his death would be. In a room full of people who are crying over him. What a bunch of babies. Ahah…

“Fuck… Fuck you guys,” He laughs with wet cheeks. “Fuck you guys for making me believe you assholes! This feels really good. Being cared about or whatever. Feeling loved… I wish I could have one more minute feeling this way.”

Hisakata Imai takes a deep breath and looks around the room.

When Hisakata Imai reveals his hand in the death of Rowan, Ken can’t help but quickly cover his mouth and stare down at the podium, fake coughing into his hand. Just moments ago, he was getting ready to slam his hand on the podium and demand attention and announce his own suspicions just before Jinpachi stepped in and brought everything to light out and called out Imai, and then he just stood and listened as the truth came to light. So much for his thinking Hotaru or Yvette being behind everything, it all fell on Imai, and as the truth set in, Ken is hiding behind his hand a very wide grin as he realizes the most annoying person that he wants to goddamn headbutt to the ground in this damn game is about to be put on the chopping block.

At first, he feels relieved, he’ll be able to relax much better with him gone, things might even be less stressful with Sayuri! He won’t have to worry about being around her and being provoked by the bastard! However, once he looked back up and around the room and saw the reactions set in, that joy he felt began to fade and his grin disappeared. Seeing Yuriko and Mio cry, how Loic was taking it, and then thinking back on Ikko stepping up for Imai of all people! He even thinks back on the words that Hayato said, and as he reflects on today and everything sinks in, Ken Murase sets his hand down and seems uncertain as glances over at Hisakata Imai. Clearly, there was more to this guy than meets the eye, that has to be it for everyone to be mourning this asshole as much as they are. He exhales quietly as he listens to Hanji’s words in particular… “I feel like… we could'a gotten along better had I wandered into yer bar first, instead'a here…. whatever happens… at least y'got t'know that yer loved. Yer loved an’ deservin’ of love an’ was always loved.”

Maybe if he had met Imai at his bar or just at a diner in Osaka they would’ve gotten along better, maybe if they had in high school he would’ve been the friend he needed then, maybe they would’ve ran away and joined the yakuza together? Imai is definitely way harder of an asshole than he is, maybe he would’ve been the kind of rock he needed back then? He shakes his head and pushes those thoughts away, what’s he doing thinking like this? Hisakata Imai would never care about him like that, and there’s no point in pondering the what ifs, it’s all over now and Imai is going to die! He will have to live with the regret for not trying to reach out to him like he would want someone to reach out to himself,

Ken Murase does decide a couple things as he prepares to cast his vote. He will remember Imai, and if he survives, he will tell stories about the biggest asshole he ever met at his favorite diner back home. He will carry the memory of him and all the victims of this hellhole with him always, and pay respect when he can. And he will try to be better to people, to the friends he has made and is making here in this flying hell, it’s time to try and be more open, to be something better than the Ken Murase he thinks he needs to be.

It's so much. It's so much and Hisakata can hardly process it. Ikko protecting him, Loic loving him, Yuriko pleading for him, Tsuneo apologizing, Sayuri reassuring, Mikazuki scolding, Hotaru thanking him. 

When did he get...? 

"You know you don't have to do it anymore."

His own face stares back at him. 

"What are you taking about, Kura? Is this about the prank I'm planning for Ruzaki and Tengoku?"

The room is filled with breeze and afternoon light. 

 "No. The whole-- Being an angry punk. An asshole. You can... Stop. You know?"

"What are you taking about?"

"Not you. You don't like this. Listen... We're at the best school in the world. I have friends. You don't need to protect me like this anymore. If you want to help me... Start taking care of yourself. I want you get--"

Friends. 

When the hell did Hisa get so many friends, people who actually care about him despite everything he does. He doesn't even know when he moves. People holding him and squeezing his shoulder. His hand touches his chest before slipping into pocket. He forgot he took it off when changing into Loic's shirt. It had to be taken off or Hisa knows he would have messed with it. 

Scared and tired, Hisakata hugs into Loic's side and slides something small into his boyfriend's pocket. 

"I... I'm so fucking sorry. I--" 

He tries to talk through sniffles and sobs. 

"It... I should have been fucking braver. Ro-Rowan went into the carriage because, well, we wanted to work on our fear together. I wanted to be able to not be scared on roller coasters or nearly faint when I look out a window--" 

This group was so smart. They had it right. 

"Th-The door it.... It just swung open suddenly. We panicked and rushed to it, to close it. Bu... But Rowan-- Tripped up or I-- He fell and I didn't even think. I just grabbed him but..."

A deep sense of shame eats at him. 

♬

Show your hair, show your nails.

It doesn’t matter.

Out turn your pockets.

There’s no note proclaiming Hisa’s guilt, nor his innocence.

Water-proof makeup.

Fuck, man.

Is there nothing he can do to make these people believe him? He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s a broken record with everything he knows what to say. His eyes go across the room and start counting, counting the people he knows without a doubt will vote for him. Starts to count the people who would vote to save him. He’s never been good at math but he knows when the odds are against him. His gut feeling screams at him.

You’re not going to pull this off.

“The devil theory…”

But he has to try, right?

“You can wipe your finger on the door then use your clean hand to open the devil door. Are you guys such idiots that you need both hands to open a…”

Should he?

“I…”

He’s killed before to survive. What’s one more body?

One more body.

Loic.

Hotaru.

Mikazuki.

Sayuri.

“... Fuckin–”

Hayato.

Yuriko.

Maxime.

One more body.

He tilts his head back, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.

“I… I just…”

Slowly he pulls his hands away.

Hisakata Imai breaks his own rule.

“I just want to live…”

As much as Hisa doesn’t like Jinpachi right now… He’s right. If some of the people here didn’t care about him as much as they do it wouldn’t be such a fight to prove his innocence. It pisses him right off, and pissed off he gets.

He rolls his eyes at Futaba,

“Ooooh, of course you’d rather it be Jinpachi. Are you still mad about me calling you the mastermind to your face? Get over it.” 

Not the time but–

“Fuck you, Jinpachi. You’re shoving your dirty work on me. We can connect anyone we fucking want to the murder. Do the rules say they gotta physically be there? Getting the shit slapped out of you or not, nothing is stopping you from messaging each other about it and deleting shit.”

He’s honestly not sure if you can delete messages. His anger is getting the best of him.

“And I’m fucking TRYING. You got damn assholes gonna keep repeating ‘give me a defense! Give me a defense!’ I. AM.” 

His fist bangs loudly against his podium, rattling the plate on top of it. 

“I’m scared of heights! I don’t want any fucking exposure therapy in a creaky ass cult wheel! I wouldn’t risk my fucking neck for Rowan!”

Over and over, his fist bangs the podium.

“All of this bullshit because WHAT! A blood smear on the OUTSIDE of a door that ANYONE could have ran by and smeared it on. This is your fucking bullet proof defense this is me?! Why don’t the rest of you get the balls like Futaba and just ADMIT IT you want it to be ME. You all came here with it set in your mind that it’s me so you’re all stickin’ your heads in the sand about any other possible outcomes!” 

The plate shakes and trembles over the edge and breaks. His skin stings in pain. He doesn’t stop. 

“Where the fuck is Jinpachi’s defense!? What if I think the blood is the fucking plant, huh!? Isn’t that the more obvious frame job!? None of you want to look at Jinpachi for such obvious fucking reasons! You’re all so fuckin’ –” 

The skin is rough and bleeding from the force. Eyes sting with tears of frustration. His fist raises and threatens to beat down again...

  ...Until his wrist is caught in a gentle touch. Not a grip -- those fingers don't even encircle with enough force to immobilize -- so much as a silent plea.

"...Imai."

Ikko's podium is empty, her long figure now stooped over Hisakata's podium next to her. She doesn't draw back her hand from his, but it's clear she isn't trying to restrain him so much as remind him of something he already knows. Something he's been fighting against all trial, actually trying to prove his innocence, despite how he's tried to twist the world against himself every day before today...

"...You're hurting yourself."

And she drops his fist, finally, to gesture him over to stand with her. Ikko's never been good at reading people -- and on a regular day, what she can read is Hisakata's seething hate towards her. But he doesn't look like he can bear being right next to Jinpachi any longer, either. If it's between a rock and a hard place... for whatever reason, she seems compelled to offer him a hard place next to her.

There is confusion that overpowers his rage, breathing heavy as he eyes Ikko’s sudden act of kindness. It grounds him. Slowly he walks over to her side, putting her between himself and Jinpachi. His hand rummages through his pocket before sliding a watch onto her podium. 

“... Sorry I stole it, Denda. I was–”

No point in explaining himself, not right now. 

As he finishes off his sandwich Hisakata comes to the stark realization that holy shit people actually believe he did it. It was funny when there were only one or two people but now a lot are starting to jump on this train. It's becoming a lot less funny and it shows on his face.

He holds his hands up, they’re clean and clear of cuts.

"Woah. Woah. Woah."

What a fucking dogpile this is.

"This is a whole lot of speculation and decision making that's being held by the thread of Hanji's theory of the makeup wipe being the plant. Are you guys seriously going to stand here and let Jinpachi bat his pretty little eyelashes and say 'uwu it's not meeeee! Rowan was my fwend! I wouldn't fowce them into the riwde!' Like swriously— I mean seriously. Rowan was nice but don't you think it makes more sense that someone that actually liked them would try and save them from falling off the edge?”

If they vote wrong someone innocent will die, right?

“... I can’t believe you people. Why won’t you believe me–? Actually, ha… hah hah. Don’t answer that. Of course. If it’s between me or any other suspect of course you’d all dogpile me. You’re all secretly hoping it’s me. Get me all out of your hair. Trying to act cool or sad and baby talk me into confessing a murder I didn’t do. I’m not worth shit to any of you people and I was dumb as rocks to ever think otherwise. So fine. Vote for me. I’m not going to feel bad when someone else dies because you’re all a bunch of morons who want to get rid of the most annoying person here.”

Hisakata wasn't sure what to expect but really he should have seen this coming. 

Should anyone be surprised that the moment you look over at Hisa he is obviously wearing one of Loic's red shirts (with one more button undone than usual) and munching away on a fat sandwich. He has been eating silently this whole time as he watches everyone go back and forth.

When Jinpachi brings up the all too serious question if he had anything to do with Rowan's death he holds up a finger, silently asking to give him a moment— And then he coughs a little…

"Augh… Sorry. Lettuce went down the wrong pipe. Shoulda' brought a drink."

Anyways, he clears his throat,

"Nah. I didn't kill Rowan. I'm fuckin' terrified of heights. You think I'd go up in that wheel? Thanks but no thanks, I'm good. I'm not going to blame you thinking it's me though. The evidence is pretty damning buuuuut try again."

Munch munch munch.

"I don't think the secrets had much to do with 'em, or maybe it did. Rowan's phone was wrecked as shit. I had Ken's secret and Yuriko had mine. It really wasn't worth anything— Hisakata Imai purposefully acted out to make his brother look good. Embarrassing but I'm not shoving people off of a roof for it."

After casually admitting his secret Hisa starts picking some food out of his teeth with his nail,

"Honestly Jinpachi, I think it's you. That was a real cute speech about how you think Rowan is your friend or whatever. The scratches on her arms make me think the person tried to save 'em and failed… A friend would stick their neck out don't you think? Anyways, if it's not you then it's probably Yvette… Or Ruzaki. You're always slapping makeup on them.

…

Ah, here we go.  Discussion of what to do now that Reimi's guilt has been revealed with her torn glove and teary words. This stuff is way more interesting in person! So much passion and points of logic and morality being thrown about. It makes him stop snacking just so he can actually focus! Hisakata, carefully, slides off his podium with his plate of feline apple slices.

"You can have empathy all you want but really this comes down to a gamble of logistics. Reimi killed a person- Doesn't matter how or why, she is the person we need to vote for to play properly. Let's go over it again;"

He walks over to Hanji's podium and laps a slice on it, then double backs, 

"We got two choices- We vote for her and get her executed. We buy ourselves more time to figure out who is actually behind this and how to land this ship without blowing it up to Kingdom Come. Sure, we'll still be playing but we'll be playing by the rules that give the group the best outcome with the most numbers." 

Passing his own podium Hisa delivers a slice to Hotaru then stops in front of Luca. 

"Or we throw the trial, vote for the wrong person or we all vote for ourselves, whatever, Reimi gets away with it and is released. Sure, she could try and alert people but as Ruzaki brought up would anyone believe her? People could fuckin' cry AEDS and get her black-bagged. Even if believed, let's all repeat together- we don't know where the fuck we are. We're floating in the sky, somewhere where planes can't even see us I bet."  

An apple slice is left on Luca's podium and starts walking again, 

"We got a small, smaaaaaall chance of getting attention if we release anyone. What is an absolute? Reimi gets out of here and someone is executed in her place. Is our tiny percentage of attention worth two innocent lives? Is another life worth it to all of you?"

His stroll all the way to Reimi's podium ends there, where he slips the plate with the last slice on it,

"Is it worth it to you?" 

His stare stays on her for a moment before the he starts making his way back to his spot.