#hippynz

If you have an email address you get scam emails, this is a fact of life and it sucks.

But it can be amusing as well every now and then. For me if find it funny to see how badly written they are.

But first you must realise I am not to good at spelling and I did not do to well at grammar in school. after all English was my first language and I spoke it all the time, so why should I pay attention at school? Right?

Anyway back to scam emails.

If you are going to write one try to sound like where you claim to come from and have your grammar and sentence structure fit the situation you are faking.

Just for fun, an example using a scam email I got today, my comments in bold type and brackets:

I'm Barbara Cole, I'm 15 years (spelling 'year' not 'years' try spelling like where you claim to be from) old girl I live in Bolton UK before my Dad passed away in a car accident 3 years ago, I now live with my step mother in Warrington, My mother died immediately she gave birth to me. My late Dad Mr.Norman Cole was a big business man in UK before he died in a car accident 2007 (watch your dates, it is 2011, you have already said "3 years ago" 2007 is not 3 years ago from 2011)  I am the only child of my Dad, he died 3 days after the accident, He Will (um, willed not 'will', also it is not a name so does not need a capital 'W') all his life savings to me, I have been trying to collect the funds from the bank but the bank MD CEO refused, he said I should present ('present' this screams no knowledge of English to most people, 'get', 'enlist the help of' would sound better) someone old enough so he can transfer the funds to the ('that' not 'the') person ('so' should be inserted here) that I can’t be in control of the huge amount of funds because I am still a teenage and it is against the UK law (I am sure this is incorrect, I do not think UK law limits the amount of money a 15 year old can have, but I am not an expert on UK law, but if this was true the bank could organise setting up a trust, but regardless they would only deal with a relative or someone that has known her for some time not a total stranger). I would have told my step mother to assist me in collecting the funds from the bank but she is not a good woman, my Dad warned me about her before he died, now that I live with her I now understand that what my Dad said about her was true, because she don’t ('does not') give me attention ('and') she don’t ('does not') care if I am alright or not, all she do ('does') is to (get rid of 'to') take hard drugs and bring different men to the house. I don’t want to have anything to do with her (if this was correct social services would be involved, or this kid could get them involved and be put in a better situation). If I get her involved in this she will use all the funds to take hard drugs.  All I wish for right now is someone old enough and honest (and a total stranger on the internet will be honest and can be trusted? I doubt it) to help me collect my funds from the bank as I am still a teenage and it is against the UK law.  Why I can't wait until i am 18 years is because what my step mum is doing to me is not fair and i don't want her to Influence me with her bad life style i just wan't ('want') to live so i can live a better life. I know we don’t know each other but please I need your help if you can assist me to collect the funds from the bank I will give you 50% (what idiot would believe this) out of the funds, Then you will help me invest my 50% until I am 18 and I will be staying with you or you will get somewhere for me to stay until I am 18 years old. If you agree to help me, I will send you a copy of the Will (again 'will' not 'Will') and my picture so you will know me, and I will send you the contact (details, person) of the Bank and tell you how much is ('the funds are') the funds so you can contact them, and I will inform the bank that you will contact them that you are the person that want to help me. (anyone must know the bank would not let this happen) I will be waiting for your urgent reply so I can send you the contact of the bank and my father’s Will and death certificate. Please this letter has to be confidential,and I need your 100% trust and loyalty because the lawyer I got involved wanted to made ('make' common mix up with use of past tense in sentences like this for non-English speakers, often happens when using online translator) away with the money, so I told the bank not to transfer the funds to him, I already promised to give you half of the funds so please be honest with me. If you are interested please reply me on my email: [email protected] (a none UK email address? This should raise a few flags for anyone paying attention. A .com for hotmail and yahoo and gmail addresses would be ok, otherwise you would expect .co.uk) Best Regards Barbara Cole