#higher-noon

hes on babysitting (botsitting??) duty

In my opinion, as someone who experiences chronic back pain in cycles, characters have every right to be frustrated at the limitations that come with any disabilities they may have, especially if they are part of a community that doesn't provide sufficient accessibility or are surrounded by people that define their utility or worth based on how "able" they are at any given moment.

To portray this frustration without demonizing disability, I would suggest trying your absolute best--whether through your disabled character's mindset, their arc, or the supportive actions or words of their loved ones--to tell both the character and the reader that worth is not proportional to ability. At all. Here are some more specific ways you as the writer could articulate this:

Give your disabled character good people to be surrounded by. These could be people that are incredibly supportive of their ambitions and don't push boundaries. These could be people that are their friends and enjoy their company even when the character has a very low ability level.

Have other characters respect the voice or the input of the disabled character. Their opinions should be seen as valid, and if the issue surrounds their disability, then their voice should mean a lot more than others who do not have that disability.

Disabilities and neurodivergencies can be a major part of a person's life, but they don't define it. Give your character hobbies, interests, beliefs, goals, careers, and a personality that takes the spotlight first when this character is introduced.

Generally don't have this character prioritize finding a "cure" for their disability, and/or have others pressure them to do so.

Being frustrated is one thing, but being depressed and/or self-loathing is another. It's a common damaging stereotype to have your character develop depression or experience depressive thoughts due to their disability, and while it is possible, it's not inevitable. I would advise against giving your disabled character depression due to their disability (or have them be more self-loathing when they are less mobile) if your goal is positive disabled representation.

I would also suggest giving them ways to be useful that 1) aren't hindered by their disability, 2) don't completely negate their disability, and 3) don't keep them too far from the main action. There are many ways you can do this that vary wildly from individual to individual.

In addition, your character should accept their disability for what it is, and be able to love and validate themself no matter what their current level of ability is. It's empowering to see disabled characters thrive and be happy and accepted, not despite their disability, but with it.

Not sure if it counts as a wip if I'm not sure I'm gonna finish it buuuuut

Coming from someone who also experiences cyclical chronic back pain, I would say that yes, using a wheelchair or other mobility aid for when pain becomes too debilitating is a good idea.

In my experience, I have never used a mobility aid (so if there's someone out there that does, their input is very much welcome), but when my back flares up, I find myself walking with a limp, needing to take more/longer breaks on walks, or, in a couple extreme cases, I am indeed unable or unwilling to move.

Conditional wheelchair/mobility aid use does not make a character any less disabled, and in my opinion that kind of representation is very much needed in media. Wheelchairs and mobility aids are meant to be assistive tools, not indicators, and so it makes sense that if you don't need a tool at the moment, then there's no point in using it.