#high five me

Salazar has a perfect explanation to why he doesn't jump through the roof at the sound of firecrackers or lose his shit when another demon sparks a tiny flame to light their cigars.

And that explanation would be: Dragons.

No, he doesn't necessarily favour them (mythical creatures didn't really amuse him as a child) , but more so he has to work with them. Along with gaining the Title of 'Hell's Guard Dog', he was automatically put in charge of a pack of Hell hounds, their duties lining up with his almost symmetrically. And if the rumors were true, the supposed Hellhounds were actually large firebreathing lizards, not a bunch of cute like dogs who just so happen to end up in hell.

At first he hated the thought of it. No way was he dealing with creatures that literally breath his cause of death! Nope, he's outta there.

But he didn't really have a choice. You can't necessarily argue with the devil and expect to walk away with your tongue still intact.

On the first day of Hellhound-sitting, Salazar discovered something interesting. The supposed aggressive, teeth baring, 'look at me and I'll rip your throat out' Hellhounds were basically just... well hounds. The rumours were all horse shit. Yes they might've had the dragon look down, that was absolutely true. Big lizards with numerous large fangs peeking through their giant probably fire stained jaws? Check! But not once did they bare their teeth or snarl when Salazar stepped into the den. Instead all of them gathered around him (seeing the hounds charging towards him all at once made his heart drop into second hell, but you don't know that) and started sniffing his clothes and hair, body language tense and alert. Then one hound's heavily spiked tail started dragging across the floor from side to side. Salazar's heart restored its place inside of his ribcage when he realised some of them were wagging their tails, only to launch out into the void again when one of the quadrupedalism hounds rised onto it's back legs to crush him. No, no wait. It was trying to reach his face? The moment the hound started leaning on him, Salazar's body gave in underneath it's stupidly heavy weight and he was brought to the ground like a falling tree.

Salazar had to deal with three days of smelling like dragon slobber. Which smells like burt rotten flesh. (He brought all of them doggy minty breath treats the next day to try and rid them of their horrible morning breath)

Notes!

- All of the Hellhounds are female!

- The hounds don't all look like European dragons. Some of the hounds look like thick snakes with legs while others look like spikey rainbow Dinosaurs. Not one hound looks the same.

- There's only one male Hellhound and that's Cerberus, but he has an entirely different job and because of that rarely interacts with Salazar.

- Salazar has taken up the duty to name every single one of the hounds, ranging from Princess (a cute, attention loving Raptor looking Hound that thinks she's a lapdog) to Ancalagon (a big wingless brute of a girl who kinda resembles a Spinosaurus and loves wearing her Pink spiked Collar)

- Salazar learned to keep his fear in check with these fire spitting girls and now only has heart attacks when someone sets off a flare gun (Progress!)