#hifftn

Heavy, ragged pants escaped from Mamoru’s lips. He had made vigorous love to you, and his body was paying dearly for it. Heart pounding, he couldn’t get enough breath, he was feeling old. But all the mattered was the satisfied look on your face. 

Collapsing beside your sweaty body he watched as you drifted off to sleep. He gently patted your head, “Such a kid, can’t even go for a second round.” This was the first time in a long time that the both of you had gotten a break. It had been nearly a month since you both had a chance to sit back and relax. And you both chose to fuck. Not necessarily a bad way to spend an evening. But, as he laid there, he thought how much you probably needed a vacation. 

He had been saving up vacation days, simply because he never needed them. He didn’t work hard enough to need a vacation. But as he watched your sleeping form, he decided that he was going to cash them in. 

Slipping from the warm bed, he unplugged his phone and went into the other room. Grabbing his tablet from the side of the couch he sat heavily upon its plush cushion, the tablet cradled on his lap. Cursing as the bright screen turned on and temporarily blinded him. 

For a moment he wondered if this was even worth it. 

Another tab opened and he researched where to go. Somewhere relaxing, somewhere where there was sun, maybe the beach. He could already imagine you in a skimpy bikini. Something only for his eyes. 

His hand already found his phone and was already dialing. “Uh, hi. I would like to book a vacation.” his voice was hushed so that he wouldn’t disturb you. 

You opened your eyes slowly, a pleasant ache throbbed between your legs. Your muscles clenched involuntarily. This was the first time in what seemed like forever that you had time with Mamoru. And damnit, you were ready to go again after your little snooze. A shiver ran up your spine as you pulled the blanket higher against your naked body. Blindly you felt behind you for your husband. “Mamo?”

Your fingers searched for his warmth, his body… anything. Finally your foggy mind cleared and you rolled over. Your husband was nowhere to be seen. Panic quickly raced through your body. Shooting up into a sitting position, you called his name, maybe he was in the bathroom? 

Listening for a reply, you heard your husband’s muffled voice. He must be in the family room. You pulled your bathrobe over your body and tiptoed to the room. 

“Yeah, I’m married.” you heard him talking, “Is that okay?” you could feel your blood boil,  “You’d do that for me?” Mamoru’s back was to you as he spoke to some person in a hushed tone. 

How dare he! “Who are you talking to!” you hissed, storming the room, Mamoru covered the phone and turned to you. A look of shock, he had hoped that you didn’t hear about the vacation.

“Uh, it’s Tomo from Sompo Insurance.” he replied, lying through his teeth, if he would have told you he was talking to a travel agent the surprise would have been ruined.

“Tomo from Sompo Insurance? At three in the morning?” you asked, incredulously. Storming to Mamoru you yanked the phone from his hand “Who is this?” you growled into the speaker, fully expecting to hear a sultry female voice on the other end.

“Uh, it’s Tomo… from Sompo Insurance.” Mamoru replied, sighing. He hated when you jumped to conclusions. Made it nearly impossible to surprise you.

“What are you wearing, Tomo from Sompo Insurance?” you asked, using an air quote around the “Tomo from Sompo Insurance”. 

“Uhh… khakis?” came the very male, masculine voice. If you were not half asleep and half mad at Mamoru, you would have paused. 

“She sounds hideous” you shot to Mamoru.

“Well, she’s a guy…” Mamoru sighed, taking a cigarette from a side table and lit it.He managed to dodge the airborne phone that was aimed at his head in time. 

“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight!” you growled, slamming the door. 

Mamoru groaned and rubbed his face, “Sorry. As you were saying? You can upgrade us to first class?” 

____

Mamoru was fine with sleeping on the couch, he knew he had the ace up his sleeve. Besides, you were cute when you were angry. Damn, you were sometimes even cuter when you were angry. 

Eisuke was next to be called, and that didn’t take long. Eisuke complied with minimal complaints. Everything was falling into place, and you were none the wiser. 

He managed to keep everybody out of the loop, though he knew Eisuke would eventually blab and when they came back, Mamoru knew he’d be teased relentlessly. Probably to the point he’d need another break. 

____

Three days later Mamoru was waking you at four in the morning. Urgently, he shook your shoulders awake. “___, C’mon wake up.” 

You groaned, swatting him away, “Go away!” you growled, “Go sleep on the couch.” Mamoru chuckled, you were so damn cute. 

Not waiting for you to respond again he gathered your squirming body to his, “I gave you a chance.”

“MAMORU! YOU PUT ME DOWN RIGHT THIS--MMPH” you were silenced by his mouth covering yours. His beard tickled your face. 

Finally after twenty seconds your body relaxed against his own, “Huh, thought you’d have a little more fight left in you.” he mused, “Though, it makes it easier to get you into the car.”

He got you into the car, blankets and all, he was surprised that you weren’t shrieking in his ear, probably because you were still asleep. “Where are we going?” you mumbled after some time, “I was sleeping you know.” 

“I know,” he kissed your head sweetly, “But I am not telling you.” with a pout on your lips, he shut the door on your face and didn’t look back. Instead he slid into the driver seat and took off to your unknown destination.  

Eventually you dozed off, after all it was nearly six in the morning. 

Your eyes snapped open when the car was in park. The hum of the private jet was something you were not used to. “Mamoru, what is going on?”

Mamoru chuckled, “Well, Eisuke had a hand in this.” he rubbed the back of his head, his tell. “I bought plane tickets but Eisuke insisted that we take one of his jets.” 

“I’m still lost.” you rubbed your face, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes. 

“That call, at three in the morning, we’re going on vacation for a week.” Mamoru finally couldn’t hold it back anymore, he delighted in the realization that dawned on your face. 

“Mamoru! What? Why” you struggled to bring words to your sleepy mind, “I dont-- I what?” 

He kissed you sweetly on the lips, “Surprise, we’re going on vacation” he reiterated, knowing that you were still wrapping your head around the idea. His hands came around you as he pulled you from the car, holding you steady, “I have a change of clothes for you in the jet.” 

“Mamo... why?” you asked, still dumbfounded.

“We’ve both been working hard. I just thought we needed a break for a little while.” 

He helped you into the jet and waited for you to come out. He knew you’d come out crying, begging for forgiveness. He just had to sit and wait patiently. 

Inside the bathroom, you couldn’t help smiling ear from ear. You shouldn’t have yelled at him. Inside the spare clothes was your favorite oversized sweatshirt, of Mamoru’s old sweatshirts that you had stolen and claimed for yourself. A smirk graced your lips, this was one way to make up for it. 

Mamoru was beginning to nod off when he felt your body against his, “I’m sorry Mamo” you whispered against his ear, your breath fanning over the side of his face. “Please forgive me?” His fingers grasped your body and eagerly roamed over your figure.He already could tell that you were wearing one of his sweatshirts, and no pants on. It didn’t take long for his fingers to find the hem of the sweatshirt. 

Grazing over naked skin, he paused and a lopsided grin bloomed over his features.

No panties. And he was almost sure you weren’t wearing a bra underneath. 

“Oh such a naughty girl.” he mused, “I think this is a good beginning to an apology.” 

You kissed him, nibbling on his lip, “Let me make it up to you.” you kissed around his face, eventually sucking the soft skin of his lobe into your mouth for a little nibble. He liked where this was going. He knew he wouldn’t be in the dog house for long.

“We have seventeen hours to make it up.”

Nagito paced long strides back and forth, he resembled the big cats inside the cages. Your eyes followed his figure as he went to and fro. His anxiety, radiating off of him eventually soaked into your being. 

You bit your thumb as you watched him, you were getting nervous too. “Nagito, please sit down” you pleaded with him, “Your pacing isn’t going to make the mail come any faster.” 

Nagito shot you a nervous look: “The mail is supposed to be here an hour ago!”

“They’re late, that’s not a crime,” you retorted, patting the cushion beside you, you urged him to sit beside you. “C’mon Nagito. Sit down.” 

He paused and looked at you, his eyes drifted to the cushion that you had just patted, you were right. His nervous pacing wasn’t helping anything. Diverting his path he sat beside you. He snuggled close, his body pressed closed to yours. 

He rested his head upon your shoulder as he pulled you closer to him, “I’m nervous” he admitted. Your hand reached up and gently brushed your fingers through his wavy, sandy locks. 

“You don’t say?” the mild sarcasm dripped through your comment. “The mail will come, just be patient.” he nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck, “Hey cut that out!” you demanded, squirming against the ticklish sensation. 

His grip tightened on your body. “You invited me over, now you’re pushing me away!” the dramatic hurt in his voice had you giggling.

“You are such a goof!” you reprimanded him, flicking his earlobe softly. He sighed against you and relaxed, body sagged against yours. You felt the full weight of his body against yours. 

The familiar, “fwish, creek, clunk”  of the mailbox opening and closing could be heard. It was if a lightning bolt shot through his body, his spine went rigid and he jumped up to his feet before you even registered what was happening. 

He was out the door before you even managed to get to the doorway. You chuckled as he eagerly looked through the mail, a large packet was at the back, he came bounding back to the home, “It’s here!” he exclaimed. 

The once nervous atmosphere crackled with the electricity of excitement. Nagtio barreled through the door and sat back where he had sat before. He eagerly ripped through the envelope. “It’s really here!” His eyes eagerly glossed over the script.

You sauntered lazily to his side, you loved how excited he was. Like a little puppy getting his first squeaky toy. 

“Need a pen or something?” you asked, you watched as his finger glided over the words, mumbling the script.

His mumbling stopped and he glanced up, temporarily dazed, “Hm? Oh yes, please. Thank you.” he went back to reading, back to being in this written world. 

You watched him for a moment before you went to your shared room, looking for some sort of writing utensil. You managed to find a pencil and a highlighter. You quickly bounded down the stairs to his side again, “Here you go.” 

He reached up without looking, “Thanks babe.” he mumbled, you marveled at the fact that his eyes never left the page. You left him to his reading, not wanting to disturb him. 

It was hours later when you heard a knock on your door. “Come in!” you called from your bed, you had decided to work on a screenplay to pass the time. The door opened slowly and your boyfriend slowly opened the door. Nagito was looking mildlishly sheepish. “Are you done with the script?” you asked after saving the document and shutting your laptop. “Are you okay?”

Nagito smiled at your concern, “Yeah, I’m fine” he took a few steps into your room. “Would you mind if I try something on you?” he asked, hesitation was clearly in his voice.

“Uh sure, should I have shaved first?” you asked, a smirk on your lips.

Nagito paused, a contemplative look, it wasn’t an unwanted request, but not the one he needed. “No, not for this.” He sat on your bed and kissed you slowly, softly, sensually. You were beginning to enjoy the kissing, when he roughly pushed you down and suddenly thrust his hand hard upon the bed, pinning you to the bed. A muffled sound rang through the bedroom. Then deafening silence.

Your hands darted to your face, covering the smile that had flown up on your lips. Your shoulders began to shake and tiny giggles leaked through your fingers. “What was that?!” you gasped through your hands, “Were you really trying to Kabe-don me?” 

Nagito sat back, a pout resting on his lips, “Awe, c’mon it wasn’t that bad, was it?” 

Propping up your body on one shoulder you smirked at him, “I’ve read better otomes that do it better than you.” Eventually you sat up and pecked him on the lips, “What was that about?”

“The script” Nagito sighed, “It requires me to do that, and… I don’t know how.” 

Throwing your legs over the side of the bed you grabbed his hand, “C’mon, I know who can help.” 

“Who?” 

You both stood outside of Iori’s room, Nagito went to protest but you knocked upon the door. You both waited with baited breath. “What?” came the irritated reply.

“Iori, we need your help!” you called out. Waiting, eventually the door opened, a scowl on Iori’s face. You released your breath, not realizing you were holding it. “Iori, I have a favor.”

He rolled his eyes, “What? You’re interrupting me.”

“Before you say no, I want you to hear me out first.” he began to close the door on the both of you, “Wait! Please! Iori! We need your help!” your hand darted out to hold the door, “Pleeeease!” 

Iori groaned, “Fine.” 

“Nagito needs your help, please teach him how to kabe-don” you released the door and bowed lowly to him. 

Iori paused, you didn’t beg often, maybe he could hold this favor for a while, “Fine.”

Coming up from your bow, your eyes were wide with joy. “Thank you so much Iori! Please meet us in the dance room in fifteen minutes.” 

You pulled Nagito further down the hall to Kyohei’s room. Iori watched the both of you and sighed, what did he get himself into? 

Kyohei answered the door much faster than Iori. He leaned against the doorframe, “Oh? Nagito doesn’t know how to do it?”

You shook your head, “No, that’s why we need your help.” you clasped your hands together, “Please help us?”

“Yeah sure.” you were surprised how easily he complied. 

“Thank you so much Kyo! Iori is in the dance room.” you tugged on Nagito’s arm, “Thanks again Kyo! We’ll meet you down there!” 

Ten minutes later the four of you were in the dance room. All of you had changed into something a little more comfortable. Iori had his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. “C’mon let’s get this over with.” he groaned out.

“Okay, Nagito. Show us your technique.” Kyohei said, gesturing to you. 

Nagito turned to you and began to kiss you, he walked you back till your back hit the wall. His hand shot out and hit the wall. A hollow thud could be heard by your ear, you watched as his eyes narrowed slightly, “I want your answer now.” he recited the script.

A moment passed.

You broke first. Your blank face cracked and you began to giggle. Turning away from him you covered your face to laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” you giggled out, “That was soooo not serious.”

Iori pushed Nagito away, “I’m sorry but that was the saddest attempt at a romantic mood ever.” Iori immediately took Nagito’s place. Your laugher died down immediately into your throat. 

Iori’s fist connected with the wall, a much louder thud reverberated through the room, he got closer to you, cutting off any escape.Iori loomed above you, the height difference only more exaggerated by how close he was to you. Bending down, your gaze connected. A wolfish grin was upon his lips. His eyes were narrowed, you could feel your heart pounding much harder and a blush quickly spreading over your cheeks. 

“You’ve pushed me past my limit.” his lips got close to your ear, a dangerously seductive whisper. “Be prepared for your punishment.” 

As suddenly as he was there, he pushed away from you. “The trick is to get close, cut off the escape.When you corner a girl, she will get nervous, this is where you act” Iori said, the seductive tone was immediately gone. “I hope you learned a lot from that.” he brushed off the imaginary dust from his clothes. “You’re up Kyohei.” Iori turned away, seemingly not wanting anything to do with you now. 

Kyohei smirked, he was in his element, not letting you cool down from Iori , Kyohei immediately went to work. Unlike Iori’s one armed kabedon, both his hands slammed against the wall. A louder thud echoed through the room. Kyohei’s technique was like night and day compared to Iori. “I hunger for this” Kyohei spoke to you. While Iori’s voice was dangerous, his was like a purr. 

His right hand came to your hair, strands of your silky tresses were caught between his fingers. He brought your hair to his nose, his eyes closed and he inhaled your scent, “You smell delicious.” he kissed your hair before letting it fall. “You know, I think I can fall in love with you.” 

The blush that was just beginning to dissipate came roaring back to your face. Kyohei was just as close as Iori was, but Kyohei’s aura was completely different.  His was playful, yet demanded your attention. “Kyohei” you gasped out, “I--” Kyohei placed his finger on your lips.

“Shhh, you don’t have to say anything. I know how you feel, you don’t have to tell me.” Kyohei’s smirk was suggestive, “Unless you want to. I want to hear all your naughty thoughts. All the trouble we can get into.” His finger caressed your cheek and hooked under your chin, “Do you have something to tell me?”

Kyohei smirked and stepped back, “And that is my signature move,” he laughed at how red you were. “Another key, beside your presence is eye contact. It is the window to the soul. Capture her gaze, capture her soul.” Kyohei stretched his body, looking slightly bored, “Remember, when you kabedon, you are the one in control. Don’t let that go.” 

Nagito, nodded, he was intently watching the entire scene. Each time he wanted to snatch you away from Iori and Kyohei. Having you blush for another man, he was incredibly jealous. However, he had to push through the fact that two other men were flirting with you. Nagito didn’t realize that he was gnawing on his lower tip till he tasted the coppery flavor of blood. Thankfully it was a small puncture. 

Kyohei checked his phone, and groaned. It’s already one in the morning. Good night.” His words are what broke the spell, Iori was quick to bid good night. You were leaving right after Iori when Nagito caught your arm. His fingers wrapping around your elbow.

“Wait!” he gasped out, “Wait, I want to try one more time.” his pleading eyes completely won you over. You were always a sucker for his puppy eyes. Rolling your eyes you caved to him. 

“Okay, one more time. Then it lights out! I’m tired.” you conceded. His hand snaked across your hips, pulling your body flush with his. His lips latched to your neck. Your whole body shivered and your eyes fluttered shut. 

“Thank you.” he kissed your neck once more before he removed his arms from your waist. His movements were faster than experect. You found your back pressed roughly against the wall. Nagito slammed both hands against the wall, caging you in, the sound of his fists hitting the wall reverberated through the silent room. However, his left hand didn’t linger on the wall. It settled on your waist. 

You were so distracted by his hand that you were surprised with his leg slid up between your thighs to nestle comfortably against your pussy. You whined at the contact. Instinctively your legs squeezed his own leg. The pressure felt amazing. 

Aggressively he claimed your lips. Demanding for you to concede to his demands. His teeth biting down onto your lip you admitted defeat. Your arms came up to rest on his shoulders to pull him closer to you. His response was immediate, his left hand reached up and caged your hands between his own. You gasped, breaking the kiss. You looked at him, surprised. The eyes that you were so used to seeing, his sweet honey eyes were replaced by lust, and much more predatory. Your pussy clenched. 

You weren’t expecting to see Iori’s dangerous gaze on Nagito. Your nipples pebbled and your throat went dry. “No touching.” he warned. You wordlessly nodded. 

“I want to hear you.”  

“I- I, yes.” your words came out as a shaky whoosh of words. Nagito could be aggressive, but it wasn’t often. He released his grip on your hands, “Good girl.” he went back to kissing you, his left hand snaked down to your comfortable bottoms. He didn’t wait for you to say anything, your body yearned for it.His fingers gilded down your skin till he felt your panties. The past barrier between him and his prize.   You were squirming against his leg. Your hips involuntarily rubbed against his leg holding you up. 

“Oh such a naughty girl” he cooed in your ear. His fingertips easily slipped through the elastic of your panties till he touched your clit. Your breath hitched when he rubbed your bundle of nerves. 

“Oh fuck” you whined, loving his skilful fingers. You wanted to grab him and pull him against you, you wanted to yell at him to stop teasing you. 

“I like how wet you’re getting” he whispered, his fingers delving into your folds. Tiny mews of pleasure escaped your lips. “Don’t hold back on your moans sweetheart.”  he curled his fingers inside you, he delighted in the gasp that escaped your lips. “That’s it, let it out.” 

You whined when he pumped his fingers in and out, your body shuddered as he played your body like it was a musical instrument. Your pussy clamped down on his digits as you came upon his fingers. Your juices soaked through your panties. Your head fell forward to rest on his shoulder. Nagito removed his leg, you crumpled to the floor. Your legs no longer holding your weight. 

Nagito removed his shirt quickly and let you lay down on it. Both of his hands slammed against the floor, “I’m not finished with you yet.” he growled. His words had your pussy clenching again. You couldn’t wait for him. You grabbed your bottoms and shimmied out of them quickly enough.

“May I?” you asked, your hands resting on his pants,you could already feel his cock straining against the constraints “Please, Sir?” you asked, batting your eyelashes. 

That one little request had him pausing. You never used the word ‘Sir’ before. He liked it, “Permission granted.” 

You smiled, glad he was allowing you to touch him. Your fingers made quick work of his button and zipper and you pushed them down as far as your hands could go. Where you hands failed your legs helps with the rest, helping him bring them down to his knees.

He managed to pull a condom from his pocket, a smirk on his lips, “Always come prepared.” he pulled the condom over his cock and resumed what he was doing. Nagito used his own hands to pull his boxers down to his knees, much to your chagrin. You could have used other, sexier methods to get it on. 

A smile tugged at your lips as you saw how turned on he was. But who wouldn’t be turned on when the promise of being fucked was on the table. He grabbed your legs and hooked them over his hips, bringing his cock so much closer to your entrance . He coated the head of his cock in your juices, lubricating before he pushed forward. Nagito usually let you adjust to his girth. But this time he plowed through. 

This new, dominant Nagito was thrilling. Your head fell back as your spine arched. With your chest pressed closer to his mouth Nagito latched to a nipple. Flicking his tongue over the nub before releasing. Your body was hypersensitive, and Nagito knew it. He was enjoying how vocal you were becoming. His rhythm faltered as your legs  drew his hips closer, your muscles clenching at his cock. He switched from steady, long strokes to shorter, more powerful thrusting. Each time, his goal was to move your entire body 

Nagito could feel his orgasm quickly approaching. Like a winding coil ready to snap. A few more thrusts and the fragile coil snapped, everything came rushing forward. Nagito shuddered as his release felt euphoric. A blissful look crossed his features as he came. He knew you were still chasing your own high. As much as he wanted to just relax and bask in the feelings of release he wanted you to find your own release. His thrusting was sloppy now, not as strong. But you still enjoyed it. 

“Fuck me” you groaned, “I’m almost there.” your own hand found your clit as you rubbed furiously. “Nagito, I’m almost there” you whined, your legs tightened against his hips, “Please! Please!” Your release was so close! You could almost feel it. Your toes were curling, your body was clenching, you were ready.

Nagito angled his hips a little differently, letting your legs ride a little higher and he surged forward. Hitting the special bundle of nerves that had you seeing stars. Your release much like Nagito’s took your breath away, and your ability to even think.

Your vision went white and your body slackened. Nagito pulled out, worn from your love making. His once razor sharp gaze, the one that had captured you in the beginning was replaced by the familiar warm, loving gaze. 

Old Nagito was back. 

Rolling to your side so you could see him properly a smile bloomed on your face, “I think you got the kabe-don down.” you managed to whisper out. You reached up and touched his face.

His warm hand came to cradle your hand, “I wasn’t too hard on you, was I?”

Shaking your head you laughed, “No, I would have told you. I may have enjoyed it a bit myself.” 

It all happened so fast. Nobody could have predicted it. Toshiaki was sitting at a stoplight, enjoying the warmth of his girlfriend’s body pressed tightly to him. It was their one year anniversary and he had wanted to start the day off right with a ride through the city. 

The light turned green. His foot came up to gas and eased into the gas and began to take off.

He didn’t see the car speeding through.

He didn’t have time to react. 

He couldn’t react.

He felt the impact of the car barreling into them, he felt his body flying. He also felt his body hitting the asphalt and skidding furthermore. 

Excruciating pain.

He had never felt this much pain in his life. 

*****

When he awoke, he had a pounding headache. Everything hurt, and he wanted to throw up. He could smell the disinfectant, he knew he was in the hospital. He could also feel eyes on him, looking to the side, he saw his friend from college. Shunichiro Tachibana. “What happened?” he croaked. Trying to move, he found his body refusing to move.

Shunichiro sat forward, a look of concern on his face, “Try not to move. You’ve been in the ICU for a day.”

Toshiaki frowned, “What happened?” he asked again, “Where is ___?” he asked, he could feel a rising panic in his chest.

He saw the look of concern transform into a guarded mask. “Where is she?” he asked again, a little more urgent. 

Shunichiro sighed, “She took the brunt of the impact.” he started, “She is in the Trauma Center, being operated right now.” 

Toshiaki could feel the pit of his stomach drop, and any contents in his stomach coming up. Shunchiro brought the bucket up in time. 

He had brought her out on his bike, he had insisted on taking her to the tourist trap on his bike. He was the cause of this. “Oh gods.” he groaned, he managed to raise one hand to his head, “What have I done?” 

Shunichiro frowned, “You can’t blame yourself for this. The driver ran the red light.”

“You don’t understand, we were supposed to take the car today. I insisted we take the motorcycle.” 

His friend sighed, “She is in the best hands.” Shunichiro smiled, “She’s a fighter.”

*******

It took a week until they let Toshiaki out. Each day he asked about her. Each day he begged to see her. Shunichiro, the dutiful friend, came every day to check on both of you. 

“She’s in room 201.” Shunichiro told his friend as he sat beside him, “I’ve kept an eye on her, she is still in a coma.”  Shunichiro watched as his friend’s shoulders sagged. He patted the same shoulders softly, “Stop beating yourself up.”

“I will never forgive myself.” Toshiaki sighed, “I decided to sell the bike.” 

Shunichiro shrugged, “That is up to you.”

With his friend’s help, Toshiaki stood and went to visit his girlfriend. 

Hesitating outside the closed door, his fingers inches from the door. What if because of him, she wouldn’t survive? What if she hated him? 

He was paralyzed by fear. He couldn’t face her. What would he say to her?

Shunichiro reached forward and pushed open the door. Inside the hum of monitors and ventilators greeted both of them. Toshiaki took tentative steps forward, and collapsed into the chair by her bed. 

It was angled where he could see her easily. “Did you sit here and watch her?” he asked, Shunichiro could hear the exhaustion in his friend’s voice. 

“From time to time, I gave her some updates.” Shunichiro pulled a chair next to Toshiaki, “They say that people in comas can still hear what's happening on the outside.” 

Toshiaki scraped the chair forward, his uninjured hand gripped her lifeless one. “___” he called her name out tentatively, as if she would spook if he said anything. He bowed his head and sighed, “I am sorry, I am so sorry.” he whispered. 

His fingers ran over her knuckles as he tried to hold back the sobs, “I am sorry I put you in this place.” He didn’t hear Shunichiro quietly closing the door behind him, leaving the two alone. Toshiaki could feel his heart breaking every beep of the heart monitor. It was too loud, too real. 

A knock at the door, Toshiaki jumped. A nurse came in, she had a kind smile as she walked in. “You must be Mr. Kijima” she spoke to him, she went to the other side of the bed, checking vitals and drips.

Toshiaki nodded, “Yes, why?”

The nurse laughed, “We’ve heard a lot about you.” Toshiaki found his cheeks coloring and before he could ask the nurse continued, “She asked for you, right before she went into surgery. She wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

Toshiaki felt the uncomfortable tightening in his throat. “Of course she did.” He chuckled mirthlessly, “She’d be more worried about me than herself.” Toshiaki watched the nurse with sharp eyes, suddenly feeling very protective of his girlfriend. 

“She is going to survive Mr. Kijima,” the nurse informed him, “ She has cerebral edema, It will take a while, but she will wake up.” The nurse bowed her head and left.

Toshiaki sat by her bedside for well over three hours, his eyes were trained on her face, thankfully, the helmet protected her, he couldn’t fathom the damage that could have happened if she wasn’t wearing a helmet. 

Another knock at the door and Shunichiro entered the door, “Ready to go home?” he asked. 

“Honestly?” Toshiaki sighed, “I’d stay here all day and night if I could.” 

“I know, but you need to go home, you need to rest.” Shunichiro replied, “You’re no good for her if you collapse out of exhaustion.” He patted Toshiaki’s uninjured shoulder. “C’mon let’s go.”

Toshiaki stood, even though his feet felt planted to the floor; with more effort than he cared to admit he stepped forward and brushed the bangs from her face. He kissed her forehead and whispered ‘I love you’ into her ear. He kissed her knuckles and set her hand down gently. “I’ll be right back.” he told her, “Just wait for me.” 

*********

The day passed agonizingly slow, Toshiaki’s eyes kept darting to the clock. He couldn’t remember if he slept last night or not. Did it matter? He was counting down the day to see you again. 

He hardly ate, he hardly slept. Any moment he was not at work or being forced to sleep or eat was by your bedside. Shunichiro and Yukihisa kept an eye on their friend, they could see him wasting away before their eyes. 

Yukihisa made sure that if Toshiaki wasn’t eating, he’d get at least supplements. He knew his friends were worried for him, but he didn’t have time to worry about himself. 

He knocked on the door to her room, and entered. Each time however, he held his breath, hoping he’d hear your voice saying he was allowed in. Each time, he felt crashing disappointment. 

He told her about the day, what he did, and how he felt. Each time he held her hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckles. Some days he brushes your hair, some days he’d run his hands over your arms to help with blood flow, but he always ended his days with “I am sorry, I love you, and I’ll be back soon.” 

Today, he decided to read to you. Your favorite author had just published a new book. He held the book with one hand, as it was nestled into his folded leg. His other hand held yours. He wanted to cuddle with you, hold you in his arms, but settled with just holding your hand. He was midway through the first chapter when he felt your fingers twitch. Immediately, he stopped his reading and trained his gaze upon your face.

You had twitched before, your eyes would even move under your eyelids. But he felt something different. He sat forward, and his breath was nearly stolen when your eyes slowly opened. He never thought that he would see those beautiful eyes again. “___” he whispered. 

You responded to your name, your eyes drifting to his, but your eyes also looked around the room. The spike in your heart rate registered on the monitor. Toshiaki immediately stood, “You’re in the hospital.” he told you, “We were in an accident.” his voice was choked. Your eyes went back to him. Your mouth opened, trying to make a sound.

Toshiaki could feel his own voice drowning in his throat, he couldn’t wait to hear your voice again. But before he could, a plethora of doctors and nurses had come swarming the room. Toshiaki was pushed to the side. 

He wanted to fight back against the doctors, he wanted to be by your side. It was past visiting hours by the time the frenzy inside the room had died down. He hated that he would have to come back tomorrow. 

He stood outside of the hospital, staring blankly at the walls. Your hospital room faced towards the street. He could see your window, he had wished that he would see you peering down at him. He hesitated for a moment longer, wishing and hoping that his dream would become reality. 

With a dejected sigh, he left the hospital with mixed feelings. He was elated to see you awake, but he had only seen you for a second before he was pushed out. Despite his mixed feelings, he couldn’t wait to return the next day. 

He could hardly sleep. He kept waking every hour or so to check the time. 

He was distracted at work, and was lucky that Shunichiro had kept his eye out for him, and even shooed him off of work. Shunichiro would follow Toshiaki later that day, after all he was your boss. 

Toshiaki stopped at a store and picked up a bouquet of flowers. He couldn’t wait to get back to your room. 

He knocked twice on your door and slowly opened it. He saw you sitting up, reading the book that he had begun to read to you the other day. “____?” he called your name. He noticed you jump, “May I come in?”

You nodded as you put the book aside, “Come in.” you said quietly. You watched as he came inside and handed you a bouquet of roses and hyacinth. “These are beautiful” you gasped, breathing in the unique scent.

Toshiaki smiled, he had missed your smile. He missed your voice. He missed everything about you.

“The hyacinth means ‘I am sorry’” you said softly, “Though, I don’t know why a complete stranger would be sorry.” 

Toshiaki paused, “I beg your pardon?” he wasn’t sure he heard you right.

“I don’t know why you are sorry, we just met a while ago.” you replied, watching him, and the blood drain from his face. “Are you okay sir?” you asked, putting the bouquet to the side and reaching over to touch his hand nearest to you. 

Toshiaki felt lost, was she playing with him? “What do you remember?” he asked, his voice shaky. 

You were inches from touching him, your hand hovered over his; eventually you sat back without touching him. Toshiaki had wished you would have, he missed you so much, he missed your touch. “I… I don’t remember anything besides waking up here.” you replied.

Toshiaki pressed his lips into a tight line, and he clenched his jaw. You remembered nothing, this… this was catastrophic, he was losing the one person he loved all over again. He didn't think he would feel this type of pain again. His heart was feeling ripped out and stomped on. “I, uh, that’s fine.” he finally managed to say.

He sat forward, “You were in a car accident.” he informed you. “Thrown from the bike.” He watched your face, he was ready to stop if you looked to be in distress.

Your eyes drifted to your own hands, sitting upon your lap. “Did, did anybody else get hurt?”

Toshiaki shook his head, “The driver got away with minor injuries.” 

You smiled softly, “That’s good. I would hate to know that anybody else got hurt.” you picked up the flowers again. “I thank you again for these.” 

Toshiaki stood and smiled, “Well, I unfortunately must go. I will see you later.” bowing, he pulled the chair to the side, “Have a good evening.” 

Toshiaki stumbled out the door and slumped against the wall, all energy sapped from his very being. This news that she didn’t remember him had nearly ruined him. He stood in the hall for some time, battling with his own emotions. The moment he saw you, he wanted to kiss you, hold you in his arms and to beg for your forgiveness. 

Toshiaki was so out of it, and in his own head that he didn’t notice nor hear Shunichiro’s voice on his way out of the hospital. He sat in his car and zoned out for a while longer.

Shunichiro knocked on the door and waited for your admittance. Entering the room, he saw you looking at the flowers and caressing the soft petale between her fingertips. “Oh, I heard you were awake.” he came to your bedside and smiled at you, “I saw Toshi leaving just a second ago.”

“Is that his name?” you asked, looking at the brown haired man, “He gave me these flowers. They are very beautiful.” 

Shunichiro had a confused look on his face, yet he didn’t press the issue, “He is a very romantic man.” 

“I imagine so, he was very kind, telling me how I got into the hospital. But he left before I could ask any other questions.” you looked at Shunichiro, “Maybe you can help?”

Shunichiro nodded, “What do you want to know?”

Shunichiro spent the better part of an hour telling you what you wanted to know, where you lived, what you did, any other information he could give you. He stayed till visiting time was over. He had hoped that he had removed some questions from your mind.

********

Toshiaki continued to visit you, however, he had changed his visits to when you were sleeping. He couldn’t face the pain of your loss of memory. The pain of being completely erased from your memory was almost too much to bear.Despite the pain, he brought flowers to your bedside every day. Every time you were waking up he would quickly excuse himself and watch from afar. 

The nurse blocked his path on accident once, when he was retreating. Allowing you to catch a glimpse of his retreating form. “Wait!” you called out, but he didn’t stop. 

“That is Mr. Kijima for you” the nurse said with a sigh. “This entire week he has been by your side, but leaves as soon as you wake up.”

You frowned, “Is he the one that brings me flowers?” you asked.

“Yes, your boyfriend makes sure that your hospital room has as much beauty as possible” 

“My boyfriend?” 

“Yes, he was in the crash with you.” the nurse replied as she changed the drip. She looked at the poor girl sitting in the bed, “He comes every day.” 

“I had a feeling he did, I can feel him when I am sleeping.” you replied, “I just wish I could talk to him. My apparent boss comes from time to time. He has filled me in on some things, but always dodges the question when it comes to my love life.” 

“Maybe, he desn’t want to step on any toes?” 

“Maybe.” You sighed and slumped against the bed, “I want to say thank you to him.”

The nurse paused for a moment, “I will try to stop him tomorrow, that’s the best I can do.” 

“Thank you.” 

Toshiaki came the next day and sat beside your bed, again, he sat beside you, and took your hand again. “I miss you,” he started, “I shouldn’t have…” he swallowed his words when your eyes fluttered open. He went to remove his hand when you grabbed it.

“Please, stay?” you whispered. 

Toshiaki felt rooted to his spot, your voice was heavenly. “Okay.” he croaked out. You sat up and smiled at him, squeezing his hand softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you. Mr. Tachibana, is that his name?” you paused, trying to remember, “He has told me a few things. I wish I remembered everything.” you bowed your head, and your shoulders sagged, “I wish I remembered you.” 

Toshiaki felt his heart clench, he stood up and sat on the edge of your bed, tentatively enveloping you into a loose hug. He didn’t dare hold you tight, how weird would it be to be hugged by a stranger? It wasn’t until you leaned into his embrace did he hug you tighter. He nestled his nose into your hair and inhaled, wishing you didn’t smell like a hospital. 

The both of you held each other for a long while, it was a healing unlike any medicine. Finally Toshiaki pulled back, a sad smile upon his lips, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“The doctor said that I can eventually get my memories back.” you smiled sadly at him, “That I should do things that can bring back memories.” 

Toshiaki nodded, “Yes, I agree. As soon as you are out, all of us will help you regain your memories. Your childhood friend is eagerly waiting to tell you some of your most embarrassing stories, or so I have been told.” 

“I want to do things that help me remember you first.” you admitted, looking into your eyes, a blush spread over your cheeks, “Can….” you took a breath, “Can you kiss me?” you requested.

Toshiaki paused, “Are you sure?” he asked, wanting not to push you against some you didn’t want to do.

“I want to remember you,” you repeated, “You’ve been by my bedside this entire time. Read to me when I slept, held my hand to give me comfort.” You looked at him, straight in the eyes, “I may not remember, but I know that you’re important to me.” 

His hand slipped behind your head, and slowly brought your lips to his. Your hands gripped at his shirt in front. His kiss was tentative, shy almost. His other hand pulled you closer to his own body. Oh how he missed this, your lips, your warmth. 

You were both getting into the kiss when his cell phone went off, chiming in his pocket. “You should get that” you whispered against his lips.

“I don’t want to.” he whispered back, peppering your lips with light kisses, but growled in anger when the phone wouldn’t shut up! “Please, pardon me.” 

He stood and stepped back, turning away from you. You watched as he talked on the phone, while the kiss and hug felt foreign it also felt familiar and you craved more. You wanted so much more. 

While you were musing, he came back, “Sorry… I have to go, a client is demanding a meeting.” his hand reached forward to caress your cheek, “I will be back as soon as possible.” you leaned into his touch.

“Oh! Before you leave, can I have your number?” you asked, shyly. “So, I can text you. It can help me remember.” 

Toshiaki smiled as he pulled your phone from the charger, “I’m here under Toshiaki Kijima.” he showed you where to contact him. “Okay, I’ll be back. Just wait for me” he left quickly and you smiled happily.

You may not have remembered anything in that kiss, but you were eager to try it again. You waited about ten minutes before you called him, eager to hear his voice.

Toshiaki was half way to his car when he heard the chime that was set for you, “___?” he immediately picked up, “Are you okay?” he asked, ready to turn back to your room, work be damned.

You chuckled on the other end, “Yes I’m fine.” you could hear Toshiaki sigh on the other side, “I just wanted to tell you something.” 

“Did you remember anything?” he asked, hopeful. 

"I still don't remember, but I want to fall in love with you again" you replied, “If you’ll let me.”

Toshiaki couldn’t stop the smile spreading over his face, “Of course. Of course I will.”

“Thank you Toshiaki, I’ll see you soon. Have a good day at work.”