#hicvember

As was often the case, Harold couldn't fucking believe that he was where he was. He couldn't believe that he'd gotten into his dream college. He couldn't believe that he'd gotten into this perfect queer fraternity despite being built like the weediest little nerd. And at this specific moment, he couldn't believe that he was smooshed between two of his fraternity brothers as they joked with him and each other while bingeing on beers.

On his left, Jove (or "Bi Jove", as he hated people calling him) was smiling through his beard, and on his right, Akhil alternated between slapping his back and kissing him on the cheek. They were both a couple years older than him and both on the handegg team (Harold would never fucking call it "football"), built exactly like the linebackers they were, hulking masses of muscle and fat. Hulking masses that had decided to adopt him the second they saw him and just got more and more cuddly the deeper into their drinks they got. And so Harold just kept ending up as the narrow slice of meat in a nerd sandwich.

It was honestly kind of the dream.

Harold sucked on his root beer through a straw while his...buddies? Bros? Crushes? I mean, they were definitely crushing him, so...while his Jove and Akhil were pounding their non-root beers. Almost as if he'd forgotten the nerd between him and Jove, Akhil used his hip to jostle both of the men to his left. "Hey, Jojo, did you hear the thing with—"

"BAOOUUUURRR–*CUP!*" Harold shoved his glass of rootbeer back onto the bar in front of them and covered his mouth with both hands, feeling his face burning as both Jove and Akhil stared down at him. "Um–mmrrrgp. U-uh...*mmk* Sc-scuse me. *hmrk!*" He just barely managed to stutter out. After a second, Jove burst out laughing, clearly well past the point of inebriation where everything was funny. He was the one to slap Harold's back this time, forcing an "*EYUK*–GRUP!" out of him that had him trying even harder to hide his face.

"Pfff, 'scuse you? Dude, that was nothing!" Despite what Jove said, that was absolutely not nothing. Harold's burps had always been way too big for his short, skinny body. Apparently Jove was going to make it look true one way or another, though, because he refilled his glass, then tilted it up and started downing it in massive gulps.

"Oh shit, you got him started," said Akhil, rubbing Harold's back and catching him as he kept hiccuping and rocking backwards. "This is gonna be a whole fucking thing." A tiny whimper came out of Harold's throat between hiccups, and another burp snuck out when Akhil gave his belly a few pats.

Jove slammed his glass back down on the bar with a satisfied huff, his already-too-tight T-shirt riding up a bit on his bloated gut, and he gave it a slap before a "GWOOOOOAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRGP!" roared out of him, and Harold was fairly sure that he saw the bar's rafters shaking. "Hah! Excuse me, motherfucker! Beat that!"

"Not everything's gotta be a contest, dude," Akhil said. "...but if it did, beating you wouldn't even be hard. Look, you weren't even loud enough to scare lil' dude's hiccups away."

"What?" Jove looked down and seemed to only now notice Harold's flustered squeaking. The sounds he was managing to conceal with his hands, but nothing could hide the way he was rocking back and forth. And that rocking was shaking up the rootbeer in his stomach, and he could feel himself bloating and growling under Akhil's hand. "Awww," Jove said, leaning against the bar and smooshing his cheek with one hand. "You got the hiccups, bro?"

"...mmmrrrgp–*mmk!*" Harold couldn't exactly deny it, the tiny burps sneaking out of him just making them worse.

"Man, and you're shy as fuck too," Jove said, giving his head a small shake. After a second, though, he snapped his fingers and grinned over at Akhil. "Shit, now you gotta try and beat me!"

"Huh?" Akhil stared at him.

"If you try and out-burp me, I'll totally kick your ass, and you'll end up with the hiccups too! That way nobody'll notice lil' bro here with you being loud as fuck."

After a moment, Akhil rolled his eyes. "Dude, if you want me to get drunk enough to strip, you can just say that." Even so, he refilled his glass too, then started drinking, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat with each big, clumsy gulp. When he finished it, though, he stifled a small "Grrrrrrgp" in his throat, then started filling his glass up again.

"Pfff. mmrgp. Thinks he can kick my ass with pure volume. Hah. I don't even need any more booze." Harold's eyes were yanked back to Jove, just barely able to see his throat bob from under his beard as he started gulping down air. Feeling his face get hotter as his eyes were drawn to Jove's gut again, Harold grabbed his root beer and started sipping through the straw once more, swallowing his hiccups and just needing something to cool him off. "Bup–bwourp–shit, hang on–grup–guh!" Jove covered his mouth, though he kept swallowing, and then after a second, something started growling out of him. "Be–eeeeyuuuuuuurrrrk–eaaaaaat thiiiiiiiIIIIIIiiisss, Akh–*HILP!*–buh! *HWUP!*–bworp! F-fuck!"

Akhil finished his second glass, then, to Harold's...horror? He refilled it and started downing a third. His stomach was bulging out from under his tank top too now, and Harold couldn't look at that without feeling himself being shaken by the hiccups and (relatively) small burps that kept popping out of Jove, something he apparently hadn't seen coming.

"*HUK*–urk! Come on, du–*HOOP*–iiuuuuuuuuude–*CUP!*, quit sta–*HULK*–alling! BWOURP!" Jove used Harold as a medium through which to shove Akhil, who simply held a single finger up as he kept taking slow, methodical gulps of his last beer. All the while, Harold just kept desperately concealing his hiccups and sipping his bubbly drink more and more.

Jove's prodding didn't get Akhil to drink any faster, and eventually he put his glass down surprisingly calmly. He then held up a hand, counting down on his fingers, three, two, one. And once his hand was curled into a fist, he thumped his chest with it, then started to growl. "grrrrruuuuuuooooOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRrrrrlgp. Mmf." He gave his chest a few more thumps, then let out an even longer "BWOR-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrruulllguuuuuuuuuuuurrrugurp. Hwoof. Bwourglp. Mmh. Think I did beat that. *hmk*–rrp."

"Aw, du–*HOOP*–ude, no w–*HULK*–gurp way! euuuurg–*CUP!* That wasn–*HNKT* anywhe–*URK* close to as l–ooouuuuuuuud as me–EURP–*P-HUP!*"

"Lot long–eeerrrrp though. *hmnk*" Jove's noisy hiccups were contrasted with Akhil's nearly silent jolts, though his burps, though small, were still audible.

Jove groaned and rolled his eyes between hiccups and burps. "Dude, you a–uuuurk are such a fu–*HUCK*–iiinnng dick!"

"Oh yeah? mmmrrrg–*cup!* mmf." Akhil leaned in towards Jove, almost seeming unaware that his jolting, rumbling belly was squishing into Harold below him. "What a–uuuurk are you gonna do ab–*ulp*–bout it?"

"What am *HULK* I gonna do–*HOOK*–ooouuuurp about it?" Jove turned on his bar stool, his stomach pressed against Harold from the other side, and he grabbed Akhil by the belt loops of his jeans, yanking him closer. "I think I'm gonna–*HUCK!*"

"BWAAAAAAOOO–*UCK*–OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUU–*HURK*–UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR–*IC-OLP*–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP! *HIG-HIGGOLP!*"

Jove and Akhil pulled just a bit apart and both stared down between them. And Harold was pulled in on himself like a turtle, wishing that the stiff neck of his button-up shirt would protect him from the massive sound that just forced his mouth open. He was rapidly hiccuping now, belches bursting out between them, and even though he forced his mouth shut, the sounds were barely muffled at all, and he couldn't even find a second to excuse himself.

After a second, Jove burst out laughing, wrapping his arms around Harold and squeezing him tight, forcing another massive belch out of him as he kissed the top of his head. "Awww, du–*HOOP*–uuuuuude!" He cooed, if cooing could be done at a high enough volume to be heard over absurd burps and hiccups.

Akhil at least had the decency to try and hide his laughter between his own hiccups and burps. "Fuck, let's ge---umf, mmmrrrgp get this little g–*hup* guy out of heeeeuuurk before he has a h–*hhup*–heart att–*auk*–grrrrp."

"Yeah, OURP! Don't worry di–*HIRK* dirty Harry," for how much he hated being called Bi Jove, Jove sure loved giving other people stupid nicknames. Harold couldn't exactly complain about that, though, because Jove was currently lifting him up like he was absolutely nothing. Even if that hadn't broken his brain too much to speak, the fact that his strong arms were tight around his stomach, not to mention his own bloated gut shaking and vibrating against Harold's back, just kept forcing more burps and hiccups out of him. "We'll getch–AURP outta he–*EURK!*"

Even though he was the only sober one, Harold felt like he had the least idea what was going on as he was hauled out of the bar and back to their dorm by the two laughing jocks, who, despite his continued oversized belching and hiccups, seemed to forget he was between them again as they wound up making out around their own burps and hiccups and drunkenly squishing him on the couch. So now he was trapped between two huge linebackers kissing each other, getting hard, and unbelievably drunk and noisy while he couldn't help loudly embarrassing himself from the middle.

The vibrant corridors were at a dim cast of light than the usually well-lit glow that the jester took note of. They have just woken up from a nap. Well, it is more so of deep pondering about their new life and recent events being in a virtual world and with an excruciatingly mad host that is keeping the said "world" meaning new home together. Can life throw any more curveballs whilst its at it?

The jester rubbed their eyes, making their way to the center of the tent they reside in for "forever" it seems like. Until they were unexpectedly teleported to a different area in the tent.

"Gah! Wuh…?" It left them in a slight woozy state. A hand on their head as they process what had happened.

"What just-," then, their words got cut off, when they heard a sudden yell out of nowhere near them.

"OH-****!" The triangle-shaped head hissed sharply at their fall, a frustrated look in their eyes. They turn to see the jester who was confused and felt the need to be concerned and question about what had happened to the both of them.

"What's going on exactly?" The jester asked with concern, their back slouched a bit and eyes seeking for an answer.

The triangle-shaped head slowly stood upright and spoke in a low and annoyed tone after a grunt, "Apparently, HE'S what's going on." they pointed over from afar.

They looked over to the host floating near the stage with a few of the other individuals, seemingly trying to talk about something while also hiding from him. The jester then noticed the host twitched in a jolt action, making the map glitch a bit out of place. Something is going on, alright.

Once the host was gone in a cloud, the jester and triangle-shaped head made their way to the others. A raggedy plush waved over to them, immediately greeting and checking them making sure they are not harshly affected from a current problem at hand.

"Hey, you two! Oh, I'm glad that you're alright." The raggedy plush spoke to the triangle-shaped head with a mellow, heartfelt tone of concern in their voice.

The jester then shot a question, "Has something happened?" They felt the need to ask as they stood their with a weary, yet confuzzled look.

The raggedy plush and a king piece looked at each other, before the place rumbled a quick second, leaving the group in a state of shock but no panic, or perhaps there is, internal-wise. The raggedy plush decided on explaining.

"Well, it's just a minor inconvenience. Don't worry though, he'll be able to fix it as soon as possible. I hope." By he, they mean the host. "But just so you know, do be careful whenever you're around him."

The raggedy plush ended with an advice. It left the jester curious to ask more.

"Why do you say that?" The jester spoke until shifting their head to another voice from the group.

"Because, you will be subject to a different kind of fun." With a sly, shut grin, an obnoxious rabbit stood with their arms crossed.

"Not helping!" The raggedy plush shook their head in disapproval to their reply.

The jester raised a brow before turning their attention to the triangle-shaped head. "He just have a case of the hiccups, technologically-speaking."

"What?" The jester plainly questioned in confusion and curiosity. But mostly confusion.

How does that work and make any sense exactly? And how did it all started? If one were to incorporate artificial intelligence having a case, it would involve something in their system unit like a malfunction in their coding or a foreign anonymity might have breached and entered into their functions.

"He's a bit aware of it, given that the whole tent is affected, not to mention, it might also not end well for us." The raggedy plush told the jester.

"Yeah, like how they were teleported out of nowhere earlier." The obnoxious rabbit spoke and emphasized, a thumb pointing over to the triangle-shaped head who gave a pissed off look at them.

"Wait until it's your turn!" They scowled back at the rabbit.

What has been given resorts to being similar to the natural involuntary action a human normally experience. If an artificial intelligent were to have it, it may or may not differ and stray away from that of a human body.

Precaution is taken in all seriousness for this matter. The jester figured that when the host hitched, it affects the place to change and individuals to teleport to some place different.

But that is only one result, possible there may be more, and the jester along with the others do not want to know half of it.

"As long as we keep our distance from him, I think we'll be okay." The raggedy plush tried to offer some reassurance to them all.

Suddenly, the tent shook side to side, a quick change of the place made the group hide anywhere that is safe, not wanting to deal with this nonsense.

The jester slightly hyperventilated as they hid, a hand on their chest to calm themselves down. Most of them, then, checked the place with hesitation once the shaking subsided.

"Is everyone alright?" The raggedy plush asked, the others nodding and showing themselves.

"Are you good over there?" Then they asked the king piece who gave a thumbs up in return.

Until another rumble shook the tent. The items and blocks floated shifting in places.

One of the items affected was the king piece's pillow fortress, which they took notice immediately and screamed, "AAH!" concerned for their safe pillow igloo that has disappeared.

Another rumble rose, it made the place shake and shift randomly. That case of his sure is active. Unfortunately, it teleported Ribbons and Triangle-shaped head to the stage rather than the floor.

"Oh my goodness!" The raggedy plush called out to them, checking and making sure if they were fine.

"We're okay…" Ribbons spoke with a wince at their fall.

The obnoxious rabbit chuckled. "That fall was comical, Ribbons! Do it again." Their grin grew in amusement. How could they find humor to that mishap?

With the third wave though, the obnoxious rabbit fell in a black hole that opened underneath them, sending them to fall on top of a floating block. They grunted, face planted on the cube. The two who were at the stage watched it happened, looking at each other.

"Eh, serves them right." The triangle-shaped head commented with no regret.

"Guh! When will this be over?" The obnoxious rabbit spoke in frustration and attitude as they sat on the edge of the floating block with their arms crossed, not happy about this inconvenience.

"We'll just have to wait!" The raggedy plush replied in return, ignoring the murmuring of irritation from the rabbit.

A few more of the earthquakes and changing of the map, it was in a rapid succession. The group figured that it must be quite a stubborn case the host has. They were all completely done with this. The group just want it to be over already. And if that thought was going to happen sooner than later, the host just had to add up to the internal panic and longing of rest as he made his presence known with the group after a long while. In a rushed and iconic host tone, they spoke with the accompanied sounds of the case that is somewhat similar to a human's sounds.

"Hello! my HUCK!-lucky stars-" The host exclaimed with glee.

They all called him out of his name in unison. Then the rabbit spoke. Their voice echoed faintly from above, still stuck on the same floating block.

"Uuugh! No luck with that? Could you please hurry it up! I've been up here for ages!" The rabbit dragged their groan, complaining as they looked down at the host.

"My-my, you should've called me!" The host snapped their fingers to return the way things are back to normal.

But they let out another hitch again, snapping their fingers once more. It happened again and again, until is was a quick cycle.

They all called out to the host again, making him stop in his tracks as he realized his distracted-self. He spoke. "Oh, my bad! HIRK!-RR'Rrr!" It comes out in a fuzzy static.

The tent shook with intensity, glitching a bit, now that the one with the case was at close proximity.

"UH! Do you have something to tell us?! The raggedy plush called out as they hid behind a couch.

The host looked at them. Not them thinking about it, floating mid-air for a few moments on why they were there instead of managing to resolve his case.

The host's eyes shifted to walled, a bright tone on their voice as they held their finger up.

"Ah-ha! Yes, of course. Now I remember why I'm here!" He said with a delightful tone. They all looked at him, anticipating provision of some good news about this matter.

"I still have them." The host said in a defeated and nonchalant tone, back slouching and hands fall to the side.

"*heek*"

"Oh shit, I thought that dunking that videotape in a keg would save me!"

"*hmnk* Fuck you. *heek*"

I watched as my coworker Dahlia trudged in, looking even more like a wet rat than usual and glaring at me through all her fucking hair. Seriously, she had so much fucking hair. There was a reason I said she should have dressed as the ring chick for halloween. I tossed her her green apron, and she put it on violently. Like if she tied it tight enough around her stomach it'd stop jerking whenever she hiccuped or something. "Have a good weekend?"

"I've ne–*hnk*–never once ha–*uck* had a good we–*heek*–end."

"Hung over?"

"I've nev–*erk* not been hu–*ungk* over."

"Wow. Not even, like, as a baby?"

"No. *mmk* I was extr–*uck* extracted from th–*up* the womb deh–*hhk*–hydrated, nause–*uck*–ous and angry *hnk*."

"And hiccuping?"

"Fuck, I du–*nnk* dunno, maybe. *hrk* It'd be ju–*uck* just my luck."

"Well, water might help with at least some of that. And hey, we're actually allowed to share it with you! Perks of the job, Dolly!" Dahlia glared at me, but she still took the plastic cup I filled with water and drank it like it owed her money. It didn't help with the hiccups, but I think inflicting violence on inanimate objects made her feel better. "Oop, speaking of just your luck, heeeeere comes your giiiiirlfriieeeeend! Right on schedule, as always!"

"Oh my g–*urk* god, kill me."

Sadly for Dahlia, I didn't kill her, and at exactly 5:37 AM on the dot, the pinkest girl in the universe jingled into our store. Pink leggings. Pink sweatshirt since it was cold today. Pink headband, pink scrunchie, pink glasses, pink cheeks, pink pink pink! Pink lips too. I could never tell if it was gloss or they were just like that. And she ran up to the counter with a big smile on her face. "Hi, Ni–*HEEK*–ko! *HEEKUP* Hi, Dahl–*EEP*–ia!"

"Oh my god," I did everything I could not to just immediately burst out laughing. "H-hi, Babs! P-ppft, fuck, she's gonna be so mad!" I whispered the second part, covering my mouth as I shook."

I could practically hear Babs tilting her head at me. "Niko? *HEEP!*"

Slowly, zombielike, Dahlia heaved her head up from where she'd thumped it down onto the counter. A hiccup made it snap back and helped her with it, and she stared at Babs through all her hair. "What. *hnk-lk*"

"Hi, Dahlia! *HEEP!*" She said it again even though she'd already said it, charging to her side of the counter, even though I was already making her half-health-conscious half-diabetes-inducing drink while trying to keep myself from dying. "Oh my *HIK* gosh, you lo–*IC*–ok so pre–*HIT*-ty today!"

"She super doesn't, she looks like dogshit!" I yelled from the drink machines. And I was right, for the record. No accounting for taste, but even by her usual standards, Dahlia looked like trash. Maybe Babs just loved wet rats. The wetter and rattier the better.

Babs blew a raspberry at me and I had to fight even fucking harder to keep from laughing. "Don't li–*HIP* listen to hi–*HMP*–m, Dahlia–*HIK-uk*, boys do–*HNK* don't know an–*EEP*–thing. But forget Ni–*HEEK*–ko, how are y–*HOUP*?" Dahlia just kind of fucking stared at her. Like, even creepier than usual. And her head kept snapping back and her shoulders kept bouncing. "Dahlia? *HEEKUP*" Babs tilted her head, then started leaning over across the counter, trying to reach Dahlia's forehead. "Are you o–*HIK* okay? Are you si–*HIC*–ck? Let me che–*IC* check your te–*HMP*–prature—"

"Gah! *hlk!*" Dahlia scrambled back as soon as she touched her like her hand was on fire or something. Maybe she was secretly a vampire and super cold and just didn't want Babs to notice. "Get off the count–*erk!*"

Babs didn't get off the counter, because no shit she didn't. Instead her eyes went wide and she started smiling and bouncing and flapping her hands. "Oh my *HEEK* god, Dahl–*EE*–a, do you ha–*HIK* have the hiccups *HIP* too?"

"*hnk* End me." A huge laugh burst out of me, and Dahlia glared, so I tried to stuff it back into my face again, but couldn't.

"Oh my *HIK* gosh, I nee–*HEEK*–eed to post th–*ip* this!"

"You don–*nnk*–n't."

Even though she said that, Dahlia stalked back over to the counter so Babs could easily get her in the same frame as she held up her (pink) phone in front of them both. "Hiii, pe–*HEEP*–ple! I was j–*HIP* just on my morn–*HNK* morning run and I *HIKKUP* caught the hiccups! Li–*UK* like, so embarrassing *HNK* right? But then *HEEP* I came in he–*EEKUP* here to get my–*HIP* my coffee—"

"Barely any coffee in this thing!" I yelled as I put some sprinkles on the whipped not-cream.

"—and my best–*EEP* Dahlia ha–*HIP* had the hi–*IC*–cups too! Isn't *hnk* that crazy? *EEP!* Dahlia, what d–*HIK* do you think? *HEEKUP!*"

I wondered if Babs knew that every time she recorded Dahlia, one of her followers now had only seven days to live. Babs may have only had seven days to live, the way Dahlia was looking at her. "We *hnk* need to un–*nnk*–ionize."

"Oh my g–*HIP* god, I know, right? The bourgeois—*HEEK* are just totally *HNK* screwing you a–*HLK* all the time! You *HEEP* should start it, Da–*HIP* Dahlia, you could *EEP* totally murder Jimm–*EEK* Hoffa or hi–*IK* hide machi–*EEP*–ine guns all–*hlk* over West Vi–*HIRK*–rginia!"

Okay, that one killed me. I broke the fuck down laughing. I couldn't see her face, but I could hear just how confused she was when Dahlia said "...*hnk* what?"

"Wait, you *HIP* don't know ab–*HIP* about the coa–*HLK* coal wars? Oh my g–*HIK*–gosh, you'll lo–*HUP* love this story! *EEP!* So coal barons *HIK* were evil, right? *HEEK*"

While Dahlia just stared blankly at Babs as she went into a whole rant about...union miners getting murdered by the US government or something? I rung up her sugar water for her and kept laughing and watching. Babs may have always arrived on time, but she always left late because something like this would happen.

Or at least, she'd try to leave late. Her hiccups were getting worse and worse and she was starting to struggle to get even a word out when Dahlia reached around the counter and covered her mouth with her hand. "Fin–*hnk*–nish the stor–*eep* when you get *hnk* to the gym. *hmp*"

"Oh–*HEEP* crap, I ne–*HEEP*–eed to *HEELK* get t–*HIUK* to th–*ILK* gy–*HIMP*! Tha–*HNK* you!" 

Babs grabbed her hummingbird's coffee, crammed a twenty into the tip jar like she always did, then bolted out. "...she for–*rk*–got to a–*uckt*–tually pay." Dahlia sighed and took out her own wallet.

"You loooooooove her."

"Your br–*hrk* brain should be dis–*ssk*–sected to see wh–*hk* what makes you thi–*nk* that."

"Uh, what makes me think that is 'cause if you didn't you'd have caught a felony by now." She grumbled at me between her hiccups. "You love her. And send me the rest of the coal war story when she uploads it."

"I wo–*nnk* won't know."

"Suuuure you won't. Fucking catching hiccups at the same time. You're basically soulmates, Dolly." The way Dahlia glared at me, I'd totally buy that she was gonna drag me down into a well or something.

"*HOOP*...*H'GUP*...*HIUP*..."

"*mmk!*"

"*HUCKOLP*...*HUCK*..."

"*hmp-mmp!*"

"*HIOLP* Hmm?"

"*hmk-mmp!* Mmh!"

"Awww, *HUCK!*" Cy felt their girlfriend's body jolt underneath them, and they hid their flushed face in her chest, gripping her shirt with both fists as they whimpered softly. Her fingers ran through their hair, nails softly scratching at their scalp, though careful when their head was knocked back again. "Cyyyyy, *HULP*, did I gi–*HILP* give you my h–*h'GOLP* my hiccups? *HUP*" They gripped her shirt harder and nodded, and she wrapped an arm around them and pulled them close. "Aww, *HUP* I'm sorry, swe–*HEET*–heart. *H'CUP!*"

"*hmk* m'notyourfault. *hkk'p*" they muttered.

"I didn't *HUP* know they'd be co–*HNK* contagious like *HIUP* that." Cy's face only got redder, and they tried to hide it even more in their girlfriend's big, soft breasts, feeling how much her whole body wobbled with each hiccup. "And hi–*IC*–cups are so mu–*HUCH* tougher for y–*HOOP*–you. Even th–*HOLP* though mine a–*HURK* are so bi–*HIGGULP*–ig and bounc–*EEP* and shake me u–*HUP* so much, you're st–*HILP*–ill so much more *HMKKLP* blushy and emb–*UP*–barrassed." Cy whined and tried to curl their whole body up against their girlfriend, and she helped by wrapping an arm around them and pulling them closer, holding them tight against her so that neither of their hiccups could push Cy away. "Swee–*HEEP*–eet baby."

For a while, the two of them just sat curled up together, Cy still hiding their face against their girlfriend's chest while she ran her fingers through their hair, stroked their face, and softly cooed over them. Every time she hiccuped, now that they were in her lap, her huge belly and chest would rock Cy's whole body, and the massive noise that came out of her would make them flinch, just a little. Every time Cy hiccuped, their body would jerk, but only enough to barely impact their girlfriend, just shaking through her fat the tiniest bit. Even so, she would make soft, soothing noises between her hiccups at them, occasionally pressing a kiss to the top of their head between pets.

"Hey. *HMP*" Cy's girlfriend slipped her fingers under their chin and pulled them to look up at her, their face getting just the tiniest bit redder at watching her head be thrown back with another hiccup. "Can I ta–*HUK* take a look?" Even though they couldn't stop blushing, Cy nodded, then stood up on the couch, feet on either side of their girlfriend's lap. They were short enough and their girlfriend was tall enough that by sitting up straight and stretching just a bit, she could have her head level with their jerking belly, and they let out a small whimper as she pulled their shirt up, holding it just under their chest while she watched their soft, round stomach hop with every hiccup. "Hmm. *HMK!* So bounc–*HEEP*." Cy whined, then whined more, reaching down and gripping their girlfriend's hair with both hands as she wrapped her hands around their back and held them in place while she pressed one ear to their belly. "Your tu–*HUP*–ummy is so fu–*HULK* full of hic–*HUP*s." Despite how incredibly red they were, Cy nodded desperately. They couldn't help squirming when their girlfriend pressed a quick kiss to their navel before pulling their shirt all the way off, leaving them unable to hide their bouncing belly. "You wan–*HNK*–wanna try cu–*HURK*–uring them?" After a moment of chewing their lower lip, Cy nodded. They then yelped when their girlfriend picked them up, holding them in her arms and carrying them over to the kitchen. She giggled between hiccups as they wrapped their arms around her neck. She spaced the times she did this out enough that it was always a shock to them when it happened.

Even more of a shock was when she adjusted Cy so that rather than being carried bridal-style, their legs were around her waist, and her next "*H'GULP!*" bounced her round belly right up into them, pushing them up and forward into her chest and against her shoulder. They yelped again and tightened their grip around her neck, giving a nervous little hiccup into her ear and hearing more giggles as her belly kept hopping underneath them.

Thankfully or sadly, it wasn't long before she had carried Cy into the kitchen, sitting them down on one of the counters next to the sink. "Alright, swe–*HEEK*–tie, let's se–*HEEP see what we ca–*HNK* can do ab–*HUP*–bout that hiccu–*HUP*–ppy tummy of *HULK* yours." She gave Cy's belly a few pats before resting her hand on it, and they squirmed beneath her touch and the soft pressure she put on them. "Okay, h–*UP*–honey, follow me. *HUP* Just take a deeeeee–*HEEK*–eeeeep breath–*H'KLK!*–oof!" After chuckling at her own hiccup, Cy's girlfriend took a demonstrative breath herself, and Cy followed along. Both of them hiccuped through it, but they still did their best. Cy squeaked with surprise when their girlfriend reached out and pinched their nose shut. "Aaand *HULP* hold!" She moved her hand to Cy's back to help catch them with each of their hiccups. Cy had been caught off-guard, and they felt practically swollen up like a balloon with how much air they'd pulled into their lungs, but they still obediently covered their nose and mouth, squeezing their eyes shut as they did. "That's it h–*HUP* honey, keep ho–*OLK*–olding it i–*HNK*." She moved her other hand to their belly and patted it again, which didn't help given how pushed out and round it felt too.

It didn't take long for the air to start burning in Cy's lungs and tears to start forming at the corners of their eyes. It also didn't take long for their hiccups to start thumping more inside of them, each one coming a little faster and a little harder than the last until they were rocking desperately back and forth, tiny noises crawling into their throat as they struggled to keep everything inside. They still held their breath for as long as they possibly could, just because their girlfriend told them to. But eventually, it all exploded out of them before their body gulped air back down with a massive "*HUK!* *HUKKULP!* *HUK-HUKULP-HUP!*" and all of the sudden they were hiccuping like crazy, whining whenever they could in the tiny seconds between them.

"Oh no! *HOLP* Oh, ho–*UCK*–oney, what *HUP* have I done to *HOOP* you?" Their girlfriend's mostly performative shock could only make Cy blush even more, and they hid their face in their hands. Another shocked noise came out of them when their girlfriend picked them up again, holding them in her arms and against her belly like she had before, bouncing them on purpose along with them being bounced by both of their hiccups. The whole while, she also patted their back, letting them muffle their hiccups and their whines into her shirt. "I'm sorry, *HUP* baby, I'm so so–*HOP*–sorry. *HIGGULP* First I gi–*HILP* give you the hic-em-u–*HUP*s—" hearing her call them that made their face burn even more, "and the–*HNK* then I make the–*HUMP*–m so mu–*HUCH* worse! Poor Cy. *HIYULP!*"

They stayed like that for a long while, Cy's weight partially still on the counter and partially held up by their girlfriend as she kept rocking and bouncing them, whispering softly into their ear between huge hiccups. Repeating her exclamations from earlier. "Oh hon–*HEEP*" and "Po–*HOP* poor Cy," with a sweetness and pity that had them whimpering and squirming against her. "I'm so ta–*HULK* tall and my bell–*HEEP*'s so big *HIGGULP*, I can hand–*HULP* a case of th–*ULP* the hiccups that *HUP* huge. *HIGGOLP* But now the–*URK they're all caught u–*HUP* in your tin–*EEP* tummy." She put them back fully on the counter, bending over partially so she could gaze straight at their rapidly bouncing belly, which was significantly smaller than hers, even though it was still round and jiggled with fat. She sighed and pulled them forward to the very edge, pressing soft kisses into their tummy and hiccuping against them, almost into them. Cy grabbed her hair again, clinging to her as they shut their eyes tight and hiccuped and hiccuped. "Poor bab–*EEP*."

After a few minutes of her just kissing their bouncing belly over and over and over again, Cy whimpered softly and tugged her hair. Their girlfriend looked up at them with a small hum. "Cy? *HMNK–mmp* Do you wa–*HUP* want to do so–*HUMP* something diff–*HERK*–rent?" They nodded, but when their girlfriend tilted her head, they shook it and closed their eyes again. "Awww. *HUP* Too shy to ta–*HULK* talk through all th–*HUGGULP* those hiccups? *HUP!*" They nodded. Besides that, they were so fast and strong that Cy wasn't even sure they could get a word in edgewise anyway. When they opened their eyes, their girlfriend had straightened up and was smiling sweetly at them. "That's okay, *HULP* honey. *HIGGULP* Cou–*HULP* could you show me–*HEEK* what you wa–*ULP* want?" They would have liked to be carried by her again, but her asking for that instead of picking them up and having them direct her probably meant her back and arms needed a break. Cy gave her a grateful look for letting them know, then slid off of the counter and took her hand, tugging her over to their house's largest bathroom with the massive, jacuzzi-like tub. "Aww. *HMP* You wanna see i–*HIP* if I can wash th–*HOLP* those big hi–*ICCUP*'s away?" Cy nodded and their girlfriend smiled, stripping out of her clothes and letting them stare at her. She was so gorgeous, her fat body covered in stretch marks, massive belly and breasts hanging heavily, but her hiccups still huge enough to bounce all of her.

At this point, the power of Cy's hiccups had faded, but that had only let the speed pick up the slack, leaving them bouncing with an incredibly rapid and regular *Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!* Their girlfriend was the opposite, hers much slower, but each one still a massive *HIYULP!* or *HIGGOLP!* or *HIGGUH–HUP!* that rang and echoed in the acoustics of the bathroom, easily overpowering the noisy faucet slowly filling up the tub. The only reason Cy could hear their own hiccups was because they were right there next to them. But it wasn't long before their girlfriend was too, leading them into the tub and sitting down in the slowly growing water, keeping them comfortably between her legs, their back against her front. This way, each of her huge hiccups rang out right above their head and shook their whole body. They would have pushed them away from her if she didn't wrap her arms around them and keep them there. And with the hand on their stomach, their girlfriend would softly tap their tummy with each *Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!*, making them blush and making sure they knew just how aware of them she was. And worse, she quickly pavloved them into associating taps with hiccups, and then she started picking up the speed, each tap the tiniest bit quicker than the last until *Hup! Hup! Hup!* had transformed into *hubBUPhubBUPhubBUPhubBUPhubBUP!*, leaving them barely even able to think, just having to let themself whine and curl up and hiccup into their girlfriend as the hot water filled in around them both.

"My swe–*HEEP* sweet, perfect Cy. *HIGGOLP!* My ho–*UCK* honey-bug. *HICCOLP!*" Their girlfriend rested her weight against them, and Cy let themself nearly melt into her, only both of their hiccups proving where one body ended and the other began, and even then, barely that. And as the water filled up and pressed them even more into each other, and their girlfriend started softly rubbing them, beginning the process of massaging and scrubbing them clean, Cy whimpered happily between their hiccups and hoped that even if they couldn't get a single word out, their girlfriend could tell just how absolutely they adored her.

"Uh, hey At–Huk!–Atty." The framing of the camera shook as it stared down, angle slightly awkward, at a watch. "So, as you can Hup! definitely tell, I caught the hu–uck–mmf. The hiccups again. Hnk-llk! They're really sl–hilk! slow and light right now, and I can hiup! Oof. I can kind of feel them hilp! coming before they hit me. Hnk'llk! So at first I thought I'd ju-Hup! just let them go, but then I Hilk! realized there was something I was wa–hnk! wanting to try, and this case was HUP! jeez, probably perfect for it. But, uh hup! if you're wanting to get off on fast h'gulk! hiccups, this may not be Hlk! the recording for you today."

The camera stayed on the watch, still jerking with each hiccup, though it also saw one of Otto's hands lift up off of the table, pulling out of the frame. The view tilted upwards and wound up staring at a wall, still jerking, but less noticeably. "Should I be try-ingk! to...I dunno, Hup! itemize these? Or rank them? Hnk'llp! Should I make a ta–Huk! tagging system for different kin–Hnk!–kinds of hiccups? I feel like you'd Hup! do a better job of that than Hk'lp! I would, but the novelty is pretty Hup! important for you, so I Huk'llk! wouldn't want to make you wa–Up! watch them before you a–Uck! actually want to."

A few half-muffled hiccups shook the camera's blank stare as Otto hummed thoughtfully to himself. He suddenly seemed to realize something, though, and looked back down towards the watch. "Sorry, right. Forg---got I was doing something. Hmk! So basically I'm going to be Hup! sort of trying to do my j–Huk! my job here since this case isn't Hup! all that disruptive. And since I'm do–Hoop! Heh, doing that, I might as WHUP! Oof! Mmf. Don't jinx it. Hmp'mmk! ... Hnk! Okay, we're still good. Hup! Anyway, I might as well Hulp! try out making some hicc–Hup! hiccup watch repair ASMR. Hmk! Gotta be a niche out–Huk! out there somewhere. That niche might ju---just be literally you, though. HUK'ulp!"

The camera kept watching as Otto rolled out finger cots onto one hand, then the other, then looked down at the watch on the table, which had already had its outer casing removed. It was now lying on its face, showing a back that didn't have any of the obvious gears and inner workings available. Instead, in the moments the camera was stiller, it was clear that there was a metal plate in it with something carved into it. "Now, I'm glad I'm gonna Hnk! get to show you this one, becau–Hup! 'cause this one is a–uck! actually pretty funny. You see Hmp! this here? Oh, um Hmp! Hang on." The camera slowly lowered down closer to the watch, pointing mostly correctly at it and showing something written in French. Otto used a pair of tweezers to gesture towards the letters carved into the metal, though he couldn't quite go word by word the way he was clearly trying to. "I used a tr–Up! translator to look this up Huk! And apparently it says—" A few snorts and chuckles shook the camera, interspersed with a few quick hiccups. "I-it says–Hnk! 'Don't touch me, se–hnk! send me to your Hiup! watchmaker.' Hah! Goo–Hook! Good advice, if you ask m---me. Of course, I ge–Uck! get paid when people say Hucc'lp! things like that, so wha---t do I know?"

Otto carefully and quietly removed a couple of screws holding the plate in place before gently pulling it off and putting it to the side. Every now and then, his hands would pause and he'd wait out a hiccup, but for the most part they didn't interrupt his work, far more disruptive for the camera angle than for his grip on his tools. "Okay, you can see Hiup! that we've got so–Hmp!–mething relatively simple Hnk! here," he said, looking down at what must have been at least a dozen gears.

Over the next while, Otto quietly explained how he was taking the watch apart, saying words like "es---scape wheel," "pallet fo–Urk!", or "jewel bu–Huk! b-bearing" as best as his hiccups would let him. "Now, you see here Hrk! with the yoke spring? We're Hnk! going to want to—"

"Otto?"

The camera's vew whipped up and to the side, landing on a weary, barely awake Atticus who squinted at their husband. "Whoa! HEEK! Uh, hi Atty. You HIUP! can be weirdly sneaky whe–HNK'LK! when you want to be."

"I wasn't even...trying." Atticus blinked a few times, shook their head, rubbed their eyes, then blinked again. "Otto, why is your phone tied to your head?"

"Uh...HLK! So, aheh, fun–HNK!HNKLP!–nnnoof. Funny story. Uh, sorry HUCK! Atty, I think I'm gonna HILK! have to call this one ear–HURK!–early."

It wasn't at all uncommon for my superhero teammate Psi to, when we were walking someplace, spending time together, or actively in the middle of something else, suddenly get distracted and leave, citing only something vague as she did. Given how much her psionic powers picked up, whether she wanted them to or not, she usually had a good reason, but she wasn't very good at explaining herself. It could be frustrating, but I'd gotten used to it. So it wasn't surprising when, while we were walking through our team's tower, she abruptly turned, saying nothing but the word "idiot" for context. In fairness, that one I'd heard enough to know that it almost certainly had to do with her closest friend, our resident speed demon, C.

What was unusual, though, was when Psi stopped and turned back to look at me. "Actually, Mish, are you busy right now?" I was always busy, but no more so than average, so I shrugged in response, and her lips tilted into a tiny smirk. "You might wanna come along with me on this one then. Walk fast, though, I think the dumbass might break one of the TVs if we don't."

We speed walked down the hallway, and, to my embarrassment, I soon heard both halves of what she was talking about. "YOU STU–*HOOK*–PID SONOF–*HUCK*–FABI–*IC*–ITCH, I'LL TU–*HURK*–RN YOUR SKULL *HEEK* INT–*HOOK* A BASKETB–*HAULK* AND DU–*HUNK* IT BACK *HEEK* ONTO YO–*HURK* YOUR SHOULD–*ERK*–S!"

My body responded instantly, my face nearly glowing with a blush as I heard C's loud, far too fast hiccups. My brain responded too, though, hearing how legitimately angry he sounded. "Shit," Psi muttered, breaking into a run. I followed behind her and we soon came to one of the many rooms used primarily for gaming, and saw C pacing fast enough that he was wearing the carpet away, a headset on and some sort of shooter on screen. "Hey, stupid."

C didn't respond to Psi's prodding. He usually did, so that worried me even more. Instead, he screamed into the headset's mic. "I'–*HULK*–'LL SHOW YO–*HOOK* WHO'S AN–*HNK*–NOYING, ASSH–*OLK*!"

In the second he reared back and looked like he was about to throw the controller at the TV, though, he suddenly plummeted to the ground, lying in an unconscious, hiccuping pile. I pulled my eyes back to Psi and saw her rubbing her temples. "Hate doing that to him. Okay, that won't last. Glad I brought you. Pick him up and get him to the kitchen." I nodded and ran over, hoisting C over my shoulders. It shocked me a bit just how light he felt, and I realized that with how his hiccups had been jerking him, I hadn't noticed that his normally skintight suit almost felt like it was hanging loose from him, and I began to get an inkling of what was happening. Even if his hiccups were distracting me, I ran ahead of Psi to get him to the kitchen as quickly as I could.

Once I was there, after putting him down in a chair, I opened the refrigerator, hoping that our many team members hadn't cleared it out without someone remembering to get groceries. I got lucky. The freezer had multiple quarts of ice cream, and I put them down on a table near him before rushing over to grab a spoon. Before I'd gotten there, though, there was a loud clatter, and looking over I saw C splayed out across the table as if he'd thrown his whole body onto it. "WHA–*ULK!* WHAT THE FU–*HUCK!*" He looked around rapidly, but after a second noticed the ice cream in front of him and started digging into it with his bare hands. It was a bit of a horror show.

Psi finally caught up, and I saw her playing with her phone, recognizing that she was swapping between multiple food delivery apps. "Okay, good shit. Grab salty stuff too, it'll be easier to make him keep eating if he has options." I nodded and rooted through the pantries, pulling out literally every snack available and tossing them at the hiccuping blur by the table. "Hey. Dumbass." C's head snapped up and almost all of his movements stopped instantly, cheeks chipmunked full of ice cream as he stared at Psi as if he'd forgotten she even existed. "When was the last time you ate?"

"N–*HNK*–now?" he forced through his face before swallowing.

Psi rolled her eyes. "Okay, yeah, what was the last time before that?"

"Uu–*HUK*–uuuuuu–*H'GOLP*–uuuu–*HUGGUP*–uhhhh..."

"Never mind." Psi heaved a sigh, then looked at me. "Heimlich him if he chokes. I'm gonna raid the other kitchens. You keep eating, stupid." C didn't even bother to respond as Psi left, continuing to tear violently through the snacks instead.

I watched in fascinated horror (and, admittedly, not a lack of arousal from the hiccups), fairly certain that he was swallowing at least some plastic and cardboard before carefully moving behind him and putting a hand on his back. His hiccups rapidly bounced him back into me, and he turned to stare. "C, honey, you know that with your metabolism you can't skip meals."

He looked away guiltily, and I felt bad for even bringing it up. "I kn–*HNK*–know, Mi–*HIK*–ish," he mumbled through a fistful of chips. "But I ne–*HEEK* need so man–*NNK*–ny of the–*HUMP* and it's ha–*HURK* hard to remem–*HMP*–ber and I ha–*HUK*–have so man–*EEP* things I wa–*HNK*–wanna do."

I rubbed his back more, doing my best to convince myself it was purely for his comfort and I didn't have any ulterior motives. "Have the reminders I've been putting on your phone helped at least?" He nodded as he returned to his gorging. "That's good. I can brainstorm about other options. I know that if you keep snacks on you, you'll tear through them in a matter of minutes, but maybe that's still an option worth exploring."

"Yeah, m–*HMP* maybe." C had slowed down enough to take momentary pauses and to select his next snacks a bit more judiciously, and his ribs were quickly becoming harder to feel beneath my hand. That was such a relief. I would only be getting so much relief, it seemed, as he grabbed my other hand and pulled it down to the still slightly concave curve of his stomach. "I'm gon–*HNK*–na have a tum–*HEEK*–ache re–*ULK*–al bad. *HEEKUP!* Can y–*HOOK* you rub it f–*HIUK* for me?"