#hesperid

many things—the need for survival and the danger to her loved ones, for one. being pushed to the brink of survival will almost always have her dropping the "gentle" demeanor; that girl will tear out throats with her teeth if she has to, so long as it means she'll live. and she has. 

grief. if that counts, because there are many stages to grief. but it's the most difficult process for her, as she experiences it all, sometimes all at once. the depression eats away at her, leaving her a husk of her former self, who mostly runs on autopilot, and has a hard time bathing, eating, and taking proper care of herself. the anger she considers the easiest, though it's still a struggle, because she'll blame everyone and herself for the way things ended. the denial has provides her with a false sense of comfort, at least. grief is the toughest thing she has ever had to go through, and sometimes it'll last years. 

@hesperid | send in a 🎧 & i'll randomly pick a song along with which lyrics i think symbolize them the most!

rachael - she wants revenge.

there's a fleck in her eye that no one ever noticed a pretty birthmark for such a beautiful face all the men from her past seem to have left her abandoned i guess there's some things that you can never erase

tammy faye - nicole dollanganger.

but it's just how i get with my tammy faye eyes blood on my clothes and my hands i've done it, i've done it again

new ways - daughter.

i'm trying to get out find a subtle way out not just cross myself out not just disappear i've been trying to stay out but there's something in you i can't be without i just need it here

-> LOOK INTO MY MUSE'S PLAYLISTS.

-> MUSINGS: The Other Side of Paradise - Glass Animals

Bye bye baby blue // I wish you could see the wicked truth // Caught up in a rush, it's killing you // Screaming at the sun, you blow into // Curled up in a grip when we were us // Fingers in a fist like you might run // I settle for a ghost I never knew // Superparadise I held on to // But I settle for a ghost.

"have you lived in tropical areas your whole life?" it dawns on ramona that she doesn't quite know a lot about phaedrus, it never crossed her mind to ask. she feels a slight tinge of guilt over that. come to think of it, does phaedrus know much about ramona himself? there's first time for everything, she supposes. "nevarra sees its fair share of snow every haring, in time for the solstice, sometimes it bleeds into the wintersend around guardian time, & by then, we're all sick of it." she imagines those living in the palaces have the privilege of witnessing the snow on top of their hills, overlooking the streets below, covered in a blanket of white fluff, but never having to shift through it to get to work. whilst working at her mother's clinic, she had to push through snow plenty of times, with dirt-covered boots, especially when helping the elderly cross through it all.

now, she resides at the fade, & she doesn't see much of the snow because of it. maybe it's possible to manifest it? she isn't sure if solas would appreciate the whole fade covered in snow. or any of her companions, for that matter.

"i like coming out here," she says, eyes glancing up at the grey clouded sky. "the arlathan forest is mostly sunshine in the summertime & spring, but it sees its fair share of snow in the winter. nothing i'm not already used to." thankfully, they have a roaring campfire before them that can cut through the chill if sitting up close to it. she took this chance to roast some chestnuts she foraged.