You could have been less nicer and blind. You could have protected yourself and don't hurt you so many times. You could have fight back and don't let yourself be hurt anymore.
You could do so much more. You could be more prideful and think before you talk. You could have been someone people liked, not someone people wanted distance.
I still don't understand who was the past me when I was a child. Why didn't teachers like me or put me aside everything, just caring for the other kids? Was I troublesome or something? I wasn't ugly, the only thing I'm proud of is my cute looks when I was a child (but I lost it after >.<). Maybe I was too shy... Was it because my family wasn't that accepted in the school? Was it because I was too shy?
It gave me scars. I can't believe in myself anymore or think I do my best on anything. Now, when I have good grades I don't think it was my effort and study that helped but the teacher's coolness (even not knowing me while correcting it). I just can't think of me like a hardworking person as some people tell me I am... Coz Im not. Im not. Infortunely.
Dear past me... Still, I'm thankful. Even when I was down or people bullied me and I lost confidence, you were still kind hearted and nice. Even thought this is just an excuse to say I'm not pretty as other girls, dear past me, thanks to you some boys used to say "Sara is not like any other girl I've met. She's special!".
Now I'm still the same person, just that I've grown up and don't trust people that easily or leave space to get hurt. Im still able to sacrifice myself for others but don't let people step on me anymore.
Thank you for teaching me a lesson, dear past me. And please help me. Sometimes I don't know the type of person I am. My comments can be pretty harsh sometimes even if I don't mean it... I'm a bit worried if my gestures can be misunderstood or if I'm not what i think i am to the other people.
Dear past me, you helped me understanding myself and knowing myself. Still, I have a long way to go.
Herocoin, thank you for messaging me and asking me that. Now I feel I broke a barrier between the "two" of us. I can understand myself a bit more now... And forget a bit my past shadows. <3
