#hepalien

Gonna really betray my complete lack of art knowledge with this one lmao

ONE: Alex didn't even want to sign up for the art elective, but he drops a class in the first week because the professor is a massive fucking racist, and by then anything he would have chosen to take is full. He's not bad at art, necessarily—he took it in high school for a couple of years before he started focusing more on college-appropriate subjects—but it's not where he was planning to spend his energy.

TWO: He doesn't even see 'life models' until after he's already committed. Which is fine, obviously. He's not a creep. Besides, he'll be so focused on the technical details of drawing that he's not going to start panting at the curve of a boob.

THREE: The guy is literally standing on a dias in the middle of the room, in a robe, and Alex still doesn't figure it out until the teacher introduces Henry to the class and Henry starts to shrug out of the robe. Henry has a jawline carved from marble and a shoulder-to-waist ratio most models dream about; he'll be great to practise body shots on. Lines. Body LINES. Why is he thinking about body shots?

FOUR: From his seat, Alex mostly has Henry in profile. He draws a curved line on his paper, the sway of Henry's back, the dip above his hipbones, the swell of his ass, and wonders what it would be like to trace his tongue down the same path his eyes are currently traversing and what the fuck—

FIVE: It's creepy to give the nude model your number, right? It's probably creepy. God, Alex has very literally spent the last however long staring at Henry's naked ass and Henry doesn't even know his name. It would definitely be creepy.

(He asks Henry out for coffee instead. Which would probably also be creepy, except that Henry's face lights up and he's saying yes before Alex can even finish the question. Henry orders a tea; Alex likes him anyway.)

Okay, so this is a really awesome question!! I,,, spent way too long thinking about it and then way too long answering, so I’m v sorry about the essay lol

Personally, I think that Cas realized during their time in Purgatory in s8.

There are a couple reasons, but I’ll start with the spoiler-related one bc 15x18 is fresh in everyone’s minds and I just generally am not ready to shut up about it.

Cas realizing he loves Dean goes hand in hand with him convincing himself that he can’t have Dean. Obviously, 15x18 gave us unrefutable proof that Cas doesn’t think he deserves this or that it’s a possibility— it’s “something [he] can’t have.” Other than being devastating, that line reinforces the way he views their relationship.

As for how that connects with Purgatory, it’s in Cas’s willingness to let go of Dean if he thinks it’s in Dean’s best interest. Cas thinks he doesn’t deserve Dean anyway, so he’s always willing to sacrifice himself. In 15x18, it was obviously letting himself be dragged to the Empty; in Purgatory, it was letting himself be left behind.

Both times, he literally pushed Dean away from him. Cas says he wanted to stay in Purgatory to do penance, and I don’t think it’s a far stretch to say it was about his betrayal of the Winchester’s as much as it was about the people he hurt. He tells Dean he wants to go to the Empty because this is how they survive, how he can save Dean one last time, and because he thinks he can never have Dean anyways. I think that to Cas, love is about sacrifice, and these scenes follow pretty similar trajectories.

The other reason that I think Purgatory served as The Moment of realization is because Purgatory was arguably the most disconnected Cas ever was from the angels. After s7, Cas forfeited his role in Heaven and then was further divided from the angels when Purgatorh made him completely unreachable.

This distance (literal and figurative) meant that Cas was left to view his relationship with Dean through his own eyes rather than Heaven’s. Purgatory always seems to make things more clear (“pure”) than anywhere else, and I think it makes sense that between the lack of outside interference and the near constant interactions with Dean, Cas started to realize during that time.

Alsooooo (and I promise I’ll shut up soon), I think that Cas realizing he loves Dean in Purgatory would be really poetic given Dean’s prayer. I would argue that Dean’s prayer in 15x09 was the closest we’ve come to his moment of realization. Purgatory seems to draw honesty out of its inhabitants, and I think that’s why it’s played such a pivotal role in their relationship.

Casey! Oohh, that is such a good question... I’m sure I’ve read fics like that, but none of them are in my bookmarks and I can’t seem to think of any off the top of my head... That’s so annoying, because now I really want to read some too 😅

 Does anyone else maybe have any good Stucky recs in this vein??

yassss that is what i am talking about!!! i mean we know for sure misha knew way sooner about the 'i love you' then jensen (misha for a year, jensen for 3 months) so

omg now i just had an idea

15x03 - misha knew about the i love you and the feelings and he played it like that and jensen did not know. omg omg my heart