@helswathed sent: Lex had only been out to sea for an extended period like this once before, when he came to this strange land. He had not anticipated making the return trip quite so soon, though he also had difficulty imagining he would have been away quite as long as he had. He was no sailor by any means, but he took to the sea better than a lot of others might. At the very least, he didn't get seasick too easily. Whether or not the same would be true of Ayra, Lex had nothing to base such an assumption off of. He would simply take his place by her side near the railings, gazing off into the horizon.
Towards home.
"So," Lex mused, keeping his eyes trained on the sea ahead of them instead of looking to his partner. "You haven't been home since you came over to the monastery either, yeah? Weird to think the home I left might not be the one I come home to. You think anyone's gonna be waiting to greet us?"
Lex didn't envision there would be. Not for him, at least. He had little idea what his father would be up to now, not to mention what could have occurred to him in the intervening years that Lex seemed to have missed somehow. Regardless, he was never the sort to be waiting to greet Lex after a journey like this unless he had something he wanted from Lex. It was possible, Lex supposed, that he may be eager to meet the people he had sent his son off to make nice with. It was an opportunity for him to seize greater power, after all.
Despite the gulf that lay between them, Lex took his place at her side naturally. So naturally, in fact, that for a moment she forgot said gulf altogether. It was as though he belonged there, there and to her time, so the smile she gave him along with a sideways glance was unburdened.
Then he spoke up, and the moment passed.
She looked away from his face, gaze settling on the horizon, and wondered what it was he saw there. Home, of course — but the word always carried different meanings for them both, even before this rift was rent open by the whims of fate, or the dragons, or what have you. In truth, Lex had been her home before, or the closest thing to home she had outside of its ruins; but now, they were out of step with one another.
Yes, she mused as she placed her elbows on the railings — an indulgence as small as this would not hurt —, she too was out of step with him. It might have been easy to think that he did not remember and leave it at that, but it would not have been fair to place the onus of their present circumstances entirely on his shoulders. This was no fault of his, or of anyone’s, and besides...
Perhaps it was not Lex who remembered too little, but she who remembered too much.
However she framed it, though, her struggle to navigate the difference in their times remained. It was frustrating. Surely she should have been used to that difference by now, after years in a world that had left her behind...
But then, that was precisely the issue. She was used to being a ghost, a relic of the past, yet to her husband she was in the future — or perhaps in a future, for there were many years she had not lived; many years that weren’t hers to speak of. And yet, who else did he have to ask...?
It was her, or those who were even farther away from him... because she had left him behind too, however unwittingly, and — although she could never have resented Shannan or Scáthach or Larcei for, simply, time flowing — she hated that she had. She hated that the gods would see fit to have her fail everyone, past and future both.
Still, it was her or it was her, and knowing that Ayra reached for his hand.
“No,” she told him without preamble. No point to softening the blow. All the same she turned his hand in hers, laced their fingers then unlaced them. “There won’t be anyone waiting for us, and the home you left definitely won’t be the one you find... It won’t be the same for me, either.”
This Ayra said with a rueful smile. She would be the first to admit it was poor comfort, and in her want for something more substantial turned his hand over in hers again. Her gaze never met his, flitting from their hands to the horizon not for fear but for thought of his comfort... Still, she would do well to elaborate. Better to prepare him as well as she could than to worry overmuch and do them both a disservice.
“I did go home,” she spoke quietly. “Twice. It was only a month or so the first time, but the second... I was in Isaach for nearly a year.” And before she could stop herself her free hand was on his cheek, turning his head towards her, her gaze searching as well as — yes — imploring. I know this is no small thing to ask, but you must believe me. “And, darling, it’s... It’s been twenty years since the day you left.”