Friendship doesn't come with a rule book. There aren't a set of rules that you have to follow if you are a friend or have a friend. There is nothing that tells you that you have to do or not do something when it comes to friendship. It is your choice, and I think that is the most beautiful thing about it.
A friend helped me the other day by listening to some of the problems that I was trying to deal with. Nothing told her that she had to; there was not underlying consequences if she didn't help me. She chose to. She chose to listen to me. She chose to give advice. She chose to be there for me in a time of need. The thing that made this experience quite significant for me, was that when I tried to thank her, she said I didn't have to. But I did. I had to let her know how much I appreciated her act of friendship and kindness. Because that is the thing about friendship. Just because we are friends, it doesn't mean that she has to do anything for me. Even though there are societal structures in place that tell us what we should and shouldn't do, every action that we make is out of choice; there are laws but people still break them. I guess what I am trying to say is, that while friendship is built on expectations, there is nothing to say that those expectations should or will be met. My friend. My foster sister, because I still call her that even though we do not live together anymore, did not have to help me. She chose to and therefore I need to say thank you. Because even though we are friends, I never expect anything from her; the kindness that she showed me was a selfless and beautiful act that she didn't have to perform, and that's what makes it truly special.
So if you have a friend, who helps you or is just there, thank them because they don't have to be there. They chose to and that's what true friendship is all about.
