I really don't know where else to post this or who should I talk to, so I'm posting (what I assume is my normal paranoia) here.
Anyways, as you can see in this blog, I've started to research paganism(mostly wicca-, witchcraft-, and celtic-stuff) and for the first time ever I actually have a feeling I could believe in something... Spiritual? I've been atheist/agnostic for my whole life, I had a summer where I thought I could be christian, but that didn't happen. I've always been a sceptic little s*th, so it is very new to me to excperience these feelings. Maybe that's why I'm so on the edge about this.
I read (can't remember where, read lots of stuff recently) that when you open the door to this world, when you start being curious and believing in spiritual things, you kinda open the door to spirits, energies etc. to be part of your life. And that's what I'm afraid of right now.
Couple of nights ago I had a nightmare. I woke up in the middle of the night because I had to pee. Before I could do anything about it I fell asleep again, and dreamt of getting up to use the toilet. It's very near to my bedroom. I walked in to the wc and tried to lock the door, only to find that the lock just turned 360 degrees and didn't work. I instanlty felt uneasy and under attack. I watched as the wc door opened and saw only darkness. Like the kind of darkness where you can't see anything if you stay there. I got very scared and ran trough the darkness into my bedroom, jumped on to the bed and woke up.
I was still afraid when I woke up and ever since I've felt uneasy. Not all the time, but like I get this feeling that someone is watching me or wants to harm me. I also get these intense feelings of loneliness that make me cry. I am prone to paranoia and overthinking, so it's a possibility it's just that. I just... I'm scared
