your innieâs first day | a helena/helly r. x reader fic
2.2k words, severance (season 2) canon-adjacent, fem. reader, i wouldnât call it âproof-readâ
| you wake up, confused and knowing nothing about who you are. a newly severed âinnieâ, a half-baked escape plan, and an unfamiliar love. will helly be able to tell you who you are â and do you really want to know the answer?
warnings: mentions of self-mutilation (minimal), blood (minimal), power imbalance (?), violence (minimal), mentions of suicide (helly r.), girls kissing (ohohoho!), not a slow burn.
before you read (SEVERANCE S2 SPOILERS): helena & outie!r have an established relationship. this fic can be read in two different ways (with true helly or with helena masquerading as her â whatever floats your boat). outie!r met helly during the lumon event (they have a positive relationship) . outie!r does not know the extent of what lumon is up to or what really happens on the severed floor.
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> ?:??am, innie, lumonâs severed floor
your face is pressed against a cool, flat surface. the back of your head throbs. you groan and sit up, the walls around you are bare. it seems like youâre in some sort of conference room. but if that's true, why are you lying in the center of the table?
âhi there, you on the table!â a cheery, but rather nervous voice echos from the device in front of you.
âwho is that?â you back away from the device carefully, pulling your skirt further down over your legs.
âwould you be interested in answering a few questions?â the voice asks.
you donât respond, instead you plop off the table and onto the floor. you scan the room, the only way out appears to be through the metal door behind you.
âi need a weapon.â you run your hands up and down the chairs, searching for anything of use. you turn the first chair over, ânothing.â
âuh- e-excuse me! i understand you may feel confused, but i strongly believe answering these questions will help you feel better.â
under the second chair, you feel something wiggle against your pull. a long piece of metal, a screw. itâs not very sharp but itâll do. you start to work it out of the chair.
âs-sure. iâll answer a few questions.â youâll play along, for now.
âthank you! okay, first question; who are you?â
you stop. you donât know the answer. âiâŠâ you fiddle with the end of the screw â its almost out. you tug it free and slide it up your blouse sleeve. âi donât know.â
âjust confirming, you donât know who you are?â the voice asks.
you sigh and look up trying to spy any cameras hidden in the fluorescent lights, âsorry. i donât.â
the voice asks you a few more questions, something about a state and another about your motherâs eye color. then, you hear the door click open. you back up against the opposite wall, palming the screw in your hand. a brown-haired man in a suit walks in and shuts the door behind him.
âdonât fucking touch meâŠâ you growl.
he picks up the chair you knocked over and sits, âyou got a perfect score and in record time, congratulations.â he smiles at you. âyouâre a very good listener.â
something inside you stirs. âwhat do you want from me?â
âa better question is âwhat do you want from lumonâ?â he sets down a file folder and spreads out a few papers. âhow about knowing who you are?â he motions to the chair across from him.
you grip the screw so tightly it digs into your skin. you may have forgotten your name, but that doesnât mean you're helpless. you step towards the man, cautiously.
the door clicks open again, a red-headed woman enters and stares at you, âdrop it.â
you let the screw fall to the floor, you donât even realize you complied until you hear it thud on the carpet.
âheâs right, you are a good listener.â she smirks at you and takes a seat at the head of the table, motioning to the seat across from the man.
âhelly⊠i had it under control.â he groans.
âreally? cause it looked like she was about to stab you.â
you stagger forward and sit down, eyes darting from one face to the other. the man clears his throat.
âhello! iâm mark s. , and this is helly r.â he turns a paper around to you, âand according this this, youâreââ
your ears ring as you look at the paper in front of you. it has your name on it and thereâs an ID photo of yourself paperclipped to the corner; youâre smiling in the picture. it makes your stomach hurt.
âthatâs me?â you question, touching the picture.
âthatâs you.â helly answers, she leans in and studies your face.
mark explains the ultimate work/life balance to you â severance.
âwhy would i sever?â you ask and stare up at mark.
âyeah, why would you sever?â helly inquires, she stares at you in awe, but youâre not sure why.
âyou mean; why would your outie severâ he smiles and clears his throat again, âunfortunately, why our outies sever is up to them. that information cannot be disclosed in respect of their privacy.â
âprivacy? itâs my-â
âhow about a tour?!â mark shoots up and collects the papers back into the folder. helly scoffs but stands and steps towards the door. mark beats her to it and holds it open, motioning for you to follow. helly nods her head slightly.
âcâmon,â
you follow them down hallway after unending hallway. you cross your arms as you trudge your way to your new home, macrodata refinement. your supervisor, mr. milchek takes time to introduce you to the rest of your team and sits you down at your desk.
âmark, would you please elaborate on todayâs task for our new friend? and â while youâre doing that, iâll prepare us some fresh and succulent melon,â milchek extends the last word of his sentence with a sing-songy tune. he pats your shoulders and slipping out the door.
mark explains the work to you. itâs mysterious and important â thatâs been made clear. but you canât focus on the numbers in front of you; your mind is reeling and it doesnât help that your coworker, dylan, keeps glaring at you.
âwhy the fuck would they add a new person to the team after what happened? sheâs totally a spy.â he peers over his divider at you.
you huff in response.
âif sheâs a spy sheâs total shit at it.â helly chides, leaning back in her chair to look at you. âher heads down and her hands are over her ears.â
you scoff and push yourself away from your desk. âwow, you guys are awesome.â your words dripping with sarcasm.
you think a coffee will make you feel better. you head to the kitchen and pour yourself a cup; as you lean against the counter and sip, you do feel a little better.
âhey,â helly coos from the doorway, âsorry, weâre being assholes.â she moves in closer to you, âexcept dylan, heâs actually like that all the time.â
you let out a small laugh and her eyes light up. she pours herself a cup and leans against the counter next to you. she taps her fingers against her mug.
âat least the coffee here is good.â helly raises her mug to you and takes a sip.
âlike weâd know any better?â you snap. âsorry.â you rub your hand against your forehead, ânow whoâs being an asshole?â
she chuckles. âyouâre handling things a lot better than i did when i first got here.â
âi was going to stab mark.â you retort.
âstill, way better than me.â she sets her mug down, âi tried everything to get out of here.â
she tells you of all her methods; swallowing a message, writing all over her arms, and of course â a suicide attempt.
âthat was the closest i came to getting out of here, untilâŠâ, she trails off and shuffles uncomfortably. âanyways, what iâm trying to say is⊠it gets better..â she straightens her posture and heads back towards her desk.
âthank you.â you reach out and touch her arm, smiling. âum, sorry, could you point me towards the restroom?â she returns your smile and points down the hall.
you hold the empty coffee mug close to you as you make your way to the bathroom. you have a plan in mind. itâs more of an idea really â an act of rebellion? that has a better ring to it than âself mutilationâ.
you peel off your blouse, leaving you in your cami, and wrap it around the mug. you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror. it causes you to waver â you look meek; pupils big and dialated. you suck in a breath and smash the mug against the counter. you feel it shatter and unwrap the garment, pulling out a thick, jagged shard. you shake the rest of the ceramic into the sink and bite down onto the blouse. âhere we go.â
the shard hovers against your skin, youâre not sure what to write. what do you want to say to this other version of yourself? youâre not sure if you have the pain tolerance for a manifesto, so you decide a simple âFUCK YOUâ will suffice. you press into your forearm, blood starts trickling down to the floor; it leaves dark, crimson splats on the bathroom tile.
youâre just about to add the next slash when the bathroom door flies open; mark & mr. milchek storm in.
âshit!â mark rushes towards you, pressing his hand down against your bleeding arm. âwhat are you doing?!â
milchek rips the shirt out of your mouth and smacks your wrist hard, causing the shard to fly out of your hand and into a mirror. helly pushes into the bathroom, pausing to take in the scene infront of her.
âjust leaving my outie a message,â you gasp and a drained laugh escapes from you. hellyâs mouth is left hanging open in a stunned half-smile.
milchekâs head snaps towards helly, âyouâre at fault for this somehow â arenât you?â he pushes mark off you and grabs your wrists. âand you were doing so well.â he pulls you towards the door, âiâm most disheartened by your actions, letâs ensure you donât repeat this behavior.â he smiles at you but his grip is rough and unkind.
âmr. milchek, please!â mark shouts, ât-the cut isnât that bad. we can say it happened when she was helping cut melon â that she was being clumsy! please, mr. milchek.â
milchek glares at you, then mark.
âtwo attempted suicides on your record? i donât think that will be received well, but what do i know?â helly picks a piece of lint off her sweater and flicks it towards milchek. she makes no efforts to hide the giant grin on her face.
he releases his grip on you and stares at helly, âfine.â he forces a smile, âbut thisâŠâ he motions to the mess you made, âis coming out of your paycheck.â he points at helly before storming out.
âgladly.â helly sneers, flipping milchek off as he exits.
she races towards you and clamps her hand over your wound. she raises her eyebrows towards mark and motions to the door.
âi-iâll go get some bandagesâŠâ mark stutters and rushes out of the restroom.
helly smiles down at you, her eyes flick from yours to your wrist.
your blood starts to seep through her fingers, âwhat was your message gonna be?â she doesnât seem to mind.
you sigh and shake your head, ââfuck youââ. helly laughs in disbelief.
âpoetic.â she teases.
you laugh, shakily. another wave of nausea washes over your body and you start to cry. helly pulls you into her, letting you rest your forehead against her shoulder.
âi keep thinking iâm going to wake up soonâ you whimper and look up at her, âwhy are you being so nice to me?â she brushes a strand of hair off your face. âthatâs like the only reason i donât think this is hell.â you let out a hollow laugh.
âcause i was you.â she leans closer to you, âand youâre a good person, so itâs easy...â
you scoff, âhow could you possibly know that?â
âitâs⊠a long story.â her eyes linger on your lips, âway too much for a first day. but, trust me.â her breath is shaky. she acts like sheâs known you her whole life. her grip on your arm is tight, like sheâs scared to let you go.
you wonder if she can hear your heart beating, itâs practically pounding out of your chest. your memory only stretches two hours before this moment, but you canât help but trust her. sheâs being so kind and sheâs so beautiful. your stomach flip-flops.
âdo we know each other out there, helly?â you touch her arm and she trembles.
ây-yeah.â her eyes trail all along your body. âi canât believe youâre here.â
you raise your hand to her cheek, âdo⊠do you know if weâre close?â your arm has stopped bleeding now but you still feel light-headed.
âuh-huh.â her breath hitches, âwe areâŠâ she sways towards you, her forehead pressing against yours. âi canât believe youâre really hereâŠâ
you lean forward, she cups your cheeks and kisses you.
she yanks herself away, âiâm sorryââ
you pull her into another kiss and helly melts, you're so gentle with her. she struggles to be gentle with you; her nails dig into your waist, her kisses are getting rough and messy. you push back against her, âhellyââ you gasp.
she pulls away, panting, âs-sorryâŠâ
you smirk and pat her shoulder.
âsâkayâ you roll your shoulders back and clear your throat, âmark will be back soon.â
helly wets a few paper towels and wipes the blood off you. she dabs away the red handprint she left on the side of your face.
âi-im sorry,â she blots your cut, âi donât know what i wasââ
âhelly, stop it.â you rest your hand on hers, âwas that um⊠something our outies would do?â
helly nods.
âw-would you like to⊠do it again⊠sometimeâŠ?â your leg bounces anxiously.
her face burns red, âyes.â she blurts.
âare weââ
youâre cut off by mark slamming into the door, his arms are full of first aid materials. he lays them on the counter.
âi got bandages, tape, some other stuff, more bandagesâŠâ mark trails off, âi kinda just grabbed everything.â
you like mark. he makes you laugh, even when he doesnât mean to.
he and helly start to bandage you up, theyâre both so gentle with you. even when mark lifts you onto the counter, heâs treating you like youâre made of glass. you wonder if he knows who you are out there. you hope he thinks youâre a good person too. âgood people apologize for trying to stab othersâŠâ you reprimand yourself.
âiâm sorry i tried to stab you.â it comes out as a quick whisper, you expected it to be louder.
âdonât worry about it, seriously.â mark secures the bandage on your arm, âhelly nailed me with a speaker during her interview.â
âwhich i apologized for.â helly states.
âi really donât think you did!â mark laughs, âanyways, all better now.â he helps you down off the counter.
they walk you back to MDR and you actually start to get a hang of the numbers! though, you hate the ones that make your teeth hurt. its strange, the hours seem to fly by now. before you know it, milchek is knocking on the doorframe.
âtime to clock out.â he orders. you rise and follow him towards the elevator.
helly smiles, âsee you soon.â
â
> 6:30pm, outie, helena eagenâs house
âthey said i got it from a cake-cutting mishapâŠâ you winch as you rub your bandaged forearm, âatleast i got cake.â you smile up at your girlfriend.
âyou didnât have to do this,â helena huffs as she prods at her dinner, âi could have talked him out of it â itâs a big decision and if you felt pressured i-â
âlenaâŠâ you groan, âiâm fine.â you grab her hand from across the table and give it a squeeze. âi promise, babe.â
she smirks, âthank you.â
âdo you think she recognizes me in there?â you bite your bottom lip. âi shouldnât have asked that.â
helena drops her fork and rubs her forehead, âi donât know.â you trace your thumb across her hand. she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. âiâm sure youâre a good influence on her,â helena kisses your hand, âi just hope iâm not a bad influence on you.â
you lean across the table and kiss her, âalways are.â you tease.
> end.
a/n: helly wants that cookie so fâing bad. ty for reading! pls leave me suggestions for more severance fics!










