#hellohoho

We have arrived at Day 4, a third of the way through my Christmas naughty list.

So far I have ripped into my gifts of two major high street retailers, that have conflicting ideas of who wears the red baggy woolen trousers, and a catalogue that loves its numbering conventions.

My demonic christmas tree has a further nine pressies around the base of it, and a couple of them are starting to melt. The risk of buying gifts from supermarkets I guess.

So lets try and save a couple from defrosting on the floor. Shall I open Asda? Nope. Tesco? Nuh uh. Sainsbury? Not Yet Corden! Iceland? Considering they are having an argument with a COUNTRY, I should give them a break...

...or I could add to the woes!

This time, there will be a brief history lesson on the ad campaign that led to this “cheerful” misery.

Earlier this year, Iceland revealed a series of ads titled “The Moment When...” The story of these adverts involved three families being “surprised” when a Iceland van arrived at their house, and gave them a selection of frozen goodies. Cue happy family enjoying the fresh new food that they will go back to forever.

Now don’t get me wrong, if Iceland just popped up at my door with free food, I would have it, but here’s the thing... I would actually be suprised, as I would not have a ******* camera crew in my house ALREADY.

That trope really ****** me off, it really does, and it isn’t just in adverts, it is rife in TV as well. Do the camera crews turn up and say “Hi Madam, I just need to put this tripod and lighting rig in the corner for no reason, don’t worry about it”? DO THEY **** I’m sorry, but if I can see the moment the “surprise” happens, from the view of the ******* person’s hallway, it is NOT a ******* surprise is it? I am not going to be the dumb gulliable ****** this time. No sir.

Tangent aside, the irony was not lost on Iceland, as it looks like they have taken the mickey out of themselves with “The Moment when the Claus family met Iceland”.

Every in-joke you could have wanted was there for you to pretend to laugh at. Santa prefers to call himself Nick, very modern. They are “Christmasoholics”, of course. There had to be mince pies in the bag, they said so themselves. And guess what, they were right. What a “surprise”!

Okay one line got me with a giggle. “How is he?” “Vet says his nose is still red” “Oh Good”. That was the most you were getting out of me with my jaw being on the floor.

Actually two. “Hello-ho-ho”. Some cheap jokes are effective, with the right usage.

Finally, feel for Poor Northern Nick, he has a bit of a complex. Sarah was about to say she didn’t believe in frozen food, but was inturrupted with “Father Christmas?”.

Great, even Iceland believed the message John Lewis conveyed. Quick, get me some more cotton wool, the protection is starting to wear away from the nation!

On the Fourth day of Badverts, the Rant Man gave to me: