#hello future!

It's really weird to think about this time last year. I was so excited to go to Umass, and that completely fell apart and I had never expected to, and first semester kinda sucked, but it still wasn't as bad as it could have been? I don't know, like obviously things never go the way you think they will cause otherwise we would all know everything. I'm just kinda excited for this semester, I feel like I get a second chance with everything and this time it will just work out. 

I do feel like I've gotten a lot more independent this past year, and maybe even a little more confident. You know how when your little you picture yourself at this age? I'm never gonna be the exact same person I pictured because I'm never going to be a famous popstar, but I feel like I'm not that far off from that picture either. Most days, I think 10 year old me would be proud. As far as working on myself, theres two things I kinda need to focus on:

1. Speak Up. This was more or less my New Years Resolution, and I've actually been kinda sticking to it, but in a baby steps kind of way. If you were following me back in January and you actually read these things, you would know that my new years resolution was to live by a Taylor Swift quote. I'll post it here again for those of you weren't (or you can see the whole post here http://im-not-your-star.tumblr.com/post/2633879093/i-realize-that-its-already-a-week-into-2011 )    What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest. So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millionsmight read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying ‘I could’ve, but it’s too late now. ’ There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait. I think you should speak now.” - Taylor Swift

2. Never Think About The Past. There's another quote, something about how people come into your life and are only supposed to be there for a certain time. I don't live by this quote, but apparently 80% of the population does. I can't keep chasing people, it's exhausting. It's also not really worth it, seeing as I like myself more than most people anyways. Everyone I care about seems pretty content at where their at right now, and in the ends, that's what I want for the people I care about most of all. If I factor into this happiness a lot less then I used to, or even not at all, then it's fine.