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Mine (tvN) - 2021
Nevertheless (JTBC) - 2021
The Road: The Tragedy of One (tvN) - 2021
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Anna’s story was kind of like getting my soul scooped out with a spoon, bit by bit. In just two episodes the drama really nailed the wlw experience in certain circumstances. She gets told she’ll go to hell for kissing a girl, immediately afterward she’s told it doesn’t matter because it’s just a phase. Her relationship is something to be kept secret, she can’t even be openly heartbroken about it ending. Not to mention the reason for the relationship ending was that her girlfriend couldn’t take the secrecy and pressure anymore.
Okay I will try to organize all my translations and thoughts about the drama into this post so that I can stop info-dumping on my poor friend who has kindly let me go on and on about the show. I’ll post some links to videos so you can watch and understand as I go on with my review/thought dump.
Essentially it’s three different stories nested into one but the central story is about Anna, an elementary school teacher who has been hiding her 8 year relationship with her girlfriend Sojung from her mother. The relationship between Anna and her mother is the central source of conflict in the show, more so then the emotional fallout that happens when Sojung breaks up with Anna.
Personally I think the show had if not at least a lesbian writer than some queer women in charge of shaping the show. People were saying on twitter that it felt too real, almost like a documentary of the painful reality for so many closeted women in South Korea. To be honest, even as a Korean American I saw so much of my mother and my own relationship with her with regards to my sexuality in the exchanges Anna had with her mother.
The show begins with Anna and her mother, shaping the major relationship with the show. Her mother teases her that her face looks bloated and that men care about women’s skin. Anna straightforwardly says she doesn’t like men and her mother tries to laugh it off but there’s a heaviness to the exchange that is examined later.
In the next scene Anna is at school working as an elementary school teacher. During break she keeps checking her phone, even contemplating texting the recipient, “Are you busy?” I was able to pause the show and read some of the earlier messages Anna had sent this person who is revealed to be her girlfriend Sojung and yikes:
Ah… Food?
You ate and you’re working, right?
It seems like you’re sleeping.
Good night.
Busy? I saw you didn’t respond so I’m worried are you sick?
Okay, I understand. Did you get home? You must be so tired. Get some rest. Sleep well. Did you sleep well?
Anna is stressed because her girlfriend is blowing her off pretty blatantly. As someone who’s dated in Korea it’s mandatory to be texting every day and even do a phone call. The level of hands off-ness is a cause for major concern from Anna. Especially with her girlfriend of 8 years.
When Anna goes to a dinner with her co-workers from school she finally gets a text from Sojung: I have something to tell you.
Anna picks up the phone in an instant and zooms out of the room, ignoring the guy across from her who I totally think was flirting.
The conversation with Sojung is painful in that it is so evident that Sojung is pulling away and Anna is holding on.
“It’s me.”
It’s noisy. Are you outside?
“Yeah I’m at a company dinner.”
Let’s talk later, then.
“No now is fine… I feel like lately I’m the only one chasing after you… I’m the only one trying to hear your voice.”
Did you drink a lot?
“What? No I didn’t drink.”
We said we were gonna meet on Saturday, right? I don’t think I can meet. Sorry.
“We haven’t met in almost a month.”
I’m sorry.
“Why? Why can’t you?”
I’m doing a blind date. My mom is making me.
“With a guy?”
Of course. With a guy.
“You’re not even gonna lie?”
Anna-ya. I don’t want to hide anymore.
“Can’t you just lie?”
Let’s talk again tomorrow.
“Sojung-ah!”
Talk to you tomorrow.
And then Anna runs off to chase after her girl, even going to her girlfriend’s house. Quick comment her girlfriend definitely seems well-off. It sort of makes me wonder how the two of them met. One person on twitter was musing that maybe instead of being a cc or college couple they met through volunteering and fell in love that way. Regardless the contrast from an apartment to a house intrigues me because there’s definitely a difference in socio-economic class here. But I digress.
Anna grabs her phone, after hesitating to rush into Sojung’s house.
I’m outside your house. Come down for a sec.
Let’s talk when you’ve calmed down.
Also my parents are home right now.
It can be just for a little.
Just show me your face.
But Sojung refuses and you have the image of Anna trudging back home. She sees her mother hugging some man and even though she calls her mother, her call is put on silent and she storms off to go sob at the bus station in frustration. I want to focus more on Anna but it’s important to note here that her mother sort of chases after men a lot but can’t seem to settle down which is a point of stress for Anna.
Growing up, Anna struggled to pretend to be happy for her mother meeting new guys and feeling sort of neglected as a result. All the while Anna puts on a brave face for her mom’s happiness because when she was little Anna’s mother had held her close and whispered “I don’t need anything but Anna. You’re the most precious thing to me.” The loving words were both a deep compliment but also an unbearable weight on Anna. It was something that she felt like she had to live by.
This burden only gets worse when Anna was in middle school and was caught presumably kissing or hooking up with her girl friend and got dragged by her gf’s mother to a Catholic church to repent.
When Anna’s mother is able to pull her out of the church she tells her about how when she was young she also was super obsessed with a girl and she even wrote her letters and followed her around. “It’ll pass,” she tells Anna. “You’re just young. Remember when you liked that guy next door? You said you wanted to marry him! So that’s why I’m not even a little worried.”
“But what if it doesn’t pass? What if I stay like this forever?” Anna whispers, staring right at her mother.
And a world of painful silence is Anna’s answer as her mother just walks away from the question, attempting to forget that the encounter ever happened.
It flashes forward to high school Anna just watching her mother find a new man and she begins down a journey of hiding her true self to keep things safe for her mother.
But then things come to a head when Sojung sends Anna a text to break off their relationship:
Actually I’ve been going through a lot lately. Our relationship isn’t like what it used to be. Anna-ya, I don’t want to hurt my parents. I can’t win. I can’t throw it away. Let’s end it like this. Thanks for everything. I’ll send your things to you through the mail. It’d be good if you did that too.
Ignoring how that’s probably the coldest thing I’ve ever witnessed in the history of breakups, Anna wonders to herself, will I be okay like this? Later on in episode 2 I think I understand better why Sojung did this but I’ll share my thoughts on the second ep review.
Anna comes home after that devastating day of having her girlfriend of 8 YEARS break up with her to her mother misunderstanding Anna as being upset with her, setting up a ton of Christmas decorations.
“It’s nice right? My kind daughter, what’s wrong? I don’t like when you’re like this.”
“It’s pretty.” (Yikes at Anna pretending like she isn’t absolutely gutted for the benefit of her mother as per usual in the dynamic)
“I’m going to head in.”
“Are you still mad? You should tell your mom.”
“I’m going to head in.”
“You ah, you were like this when you were little. You were always sulking after it’d all passed.”
“Mom.”
“Isn’t it better to just say it right away and let it all out?”
“Mom.”
“I did this all for you to see! You said you wanted a tree when you were little.”
“Mom, when I was little, when? When I was little, when? And what passed? Nothing’s changed!”
“What didn’t pass?”
… “Christmas didn’t pass. I’m so tired today.”
And Anna closes the door and leaves her mother to stare at a picture of her and her daughter together under a Christmas tree. Personally here I adore the dynamic of Anna just almost barely teasing at the secret the two of them know, her sexuality. But her mother doesn’t quite push her because she’s a little afraid to know. I’ve had a similar conversation with my own mother and that line between ambiguous and crystal clear is so much harder to parse out than people think.
Anyway I’ll continue this if you guys want but hopefully you like the translation and commentary. Let me know in the replies or my messages if you’d like me to just do straight translation with the clips or continue this style!
