#hello :p

https://irothemage.straw.page

Our mutual!! He visited us at planica cooperating nations camp and had an inspirational speech for us

21. What is your favourite type of weather?

when it rains/snows, thunderstorms r pretty cool too, windy weather is epic but not when the wind is cold, and ofc a decent weather when it’s just warm is good too lol

30. What was the best birthday present you ever received?

uhh... i.. i don’t know.... i don’t remember anything that is so great i would call it “the best ever” ya know... i mean i’ve got a piercing for my b-day so it’s good yeah

31. What was the best Christmas present you ever received?

No! No toning down necessary! If anything I want to go bigger and better this year with everything. 

The reason burnout and pressure set in so much this year is because I let it. I didn’t deal with it properly and didn’t know what to do with myself when my self worth was questioned. Not to mention so many of my relationships with various people changed dramatically this year and not really having anyone to look up to anymore sort of left me wandering aimlessly. So I’ve decided to try BE the person to look up to and help build others up and accomplish their goals. I want to lead people and inspire instead of following along or doing what I was told. 

When I said “I wondered if I had depression” I don’t think I actually HAVE depression right now, at least not in a serious capacity. It was just the first time I ever had to ask myself that which is what scared me the most. I was so unsure of myself and what was going on when normally I’m very self aware. So I’ve decided to look into it and seek out solutions and help before it decides to get any worse. Little seeds of doubt that I want to eradicate before they become debilitating. 

I dunno man, my mind is awash with thoughts but it’s an exciting time. I feel like I’ve gotten some sort of purpose or drive again to try my best. Youtube falling apart slowly and feeling like I could be forgotten or left behind has sort of invigorated me to not let that happen and to break through that wall and say “WHAT’S UP FUCKERS!!!” haha.

there's a throbbing behind her ear, vicious and heavy. like her skull split open, cracked right down the middle. maybe it did— she can't tell, doesn't want to move her hands to even check. lying on the grass away from everyone, with a grating ringing in her ears, her mind a little calmer than before. she can feel iron bloom inside her mouth, thick and heady. it's only a memory her body decides to replay, however, but no matter how fine she is now, it feels as if it's dripping out, from the corners of her lips. it's only now when she tries to move her fingers that she feels a sharp jab of pain shoots through them. her skin burns, knowing it's that damn mutation of her magic making her act this way. at the realization that she's no longer alone, she lets out a breath. she knows who it is, of course. she almost expected him to come. truth is, she'd left camp a while ago to catch some air, but she doesn't mind the company. ❛ is that so? ❜ she murmurs, vacantly, casting a glance around her.

nothing much to see, only the sky that whispers to her words she cannot comprehend, mantras of some kind. a mellow scent floats about the area, chestnuts and something fresh. his words drag her gaze up to meet his own. shams tilts her head, bangs framing eyes that spark and fizzle with something joyous now: paintings, a summer festival and as she looks at him further, there is something in @greyswarden's eyes just for her to see. golden, even in the dark. people have often said she was as bright as the sun, but she flickers often. he seems to be constant, no matter the distance. either way, no matter how much she wishes to share, he doesn't need to know about the quivers of her soul. that's a burden she ought to carry by herself. a burden she'd gladly carry alone. it's difficult to free herself from the straying of her thoughts. she lulls the monsters in her head to sleep. it's been four years and the blood that needed to spill has long been scrubbed off the walls.