#hellinois

"We could do pizza,"

"You always want pizza,"

"That's 'cause it's pizza, cowboy,"

The hint of a smile tugged at Illinois' lips at the nickname. It was something Markus only used when he was mildly irritated; a reminder of their first few feud-filled meetings.

His husband lay sprawl out on the sofa like a cat - all limbs as the evening sun cast light on his black outfit. His sweatshirt was pulled upwards a little in this position, leaving a glorious slither of exposed skin.

"...but the Thai place is closed on Thursdays so...are you even listening to me?"

The older man begrudgingly tore himself away from the delightful imaginings his husband's abdomen inspired.

"Yeah, 'course darlin',"

He let his accent grow heavy, his voice deepening like honey to try and inspire a similar mindset.

Markus held his gaze for a second.

"You ain't having me for dinner, so you better focus on making a decision if you want desert,"

It started as a joke, it really did. When they parted ways the first time Illinois had given his usual ‘sorry if you fell in love with me’ speech. Markus hadn’t missed a beat in response. “Projection much?” He called after him.

Illinois had ignored him then. He didn’t think he’d ever see Markus again anyway. His associates usually didn’t last to the end of an adventure; The ones who did he rarely, if ever saw again.

To his surprise they crossed paths again. Markus managed to stick around till the end of the adventure again. “Gotta say, I’m impressed,” Illinois said. “My associates never last long, yet here you are. Kept up with me twice now. Hope you didn’t fall in love with me though. Married to the job, you know? Sorry if you did. They always do.”

“You wish I did,” Markus sneered.

“Right, sure,” Illinois chuckled as he walked away.

Illinois couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking about what Markus had said. He stared up at the ceiling of the cheap motel room he rented. He’s playing hard to get. Too proud to admit it, that’s all. Illinois tried to rationalize Markus’ complete lack of affection towards him. Why do I even care?

The next time they met it was in a museum at midnight. They stared at each other in disbelief.

“I know why I’m here, but why are you here?” Markus asked.

“I’d imagine a similar reason as you,” Illinois responded, “I’m here to steal something.”

“Huh?”

“Look,” Illinois sighed, “I’m normally against stealing things. Not my style, I’m not that kinda guy. But they stole it first, and if there’s one thing I do it's return artifacts to their rightful place.”

“How noble,” Markus rolled his eyes. “Just stay out of my way. And don’t expect me to bail your ass out of a sticky situation if you screw up.”

“Wouldn’t dream of getting in your way, darlin’,” Illinois laid the charm on thick. Markus was a puzzle he was trying to suss out. He really didn’t plan to get in Markus’ way, but things never go according to plan.

They were after the same artifact.

He expected a fight, honestly. An argument about morals or nobility or something. What he wasn’t expecting was Markus to silently hand over the statuette and turn his back on him.

“Go, before I change my mind.”

“...Thanks.” The word hung heavy in the air, and for a moment Illinois thought to continue speaking. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he spun on his heels and left. He was starting to understand why he cared that Markus held no affection for him.

Illinois thought a lot about what Markus had said. His snide comment was probably just to get under Illinois’ skin, but that simple “You wish I did” was on repeat in his mind every time he thought about Markus.

Yes. He did wish, because at least then he wouldn’t be alone in this. Illinois was very much regretting all the shameless flirting and abandoning of his previous partners. If they felt half as bad as he was feeling about Markus then he put them through hell. Illinois was secretly elated when Markus asked to meet.

Markus peered across the table at Illinois. “I need your help. Rumor has it you’re the guy to go to for information on archaic forms of languages.”

It took Illinois nearly a month of constant research to decrypt the map Markus gave him. Not only was it in an archaic language, it was in a regional dialect of that language.  When the time came, they set out from a rural village at dawn. Illinois’ rough estimate put them at two days of travel time through the jungle on foot in order to get to the place the map marked. Markus kept up with Illinois, effectively cutting their travel time to a day and a half. Illinois was expecting to go slower, given Markus’ attitude. To his credit, Markus really only complained in the last few hours of travel. He was about to launch into another round of complaints about the oppressive humidity when they crossed through a thicket and came face to face with the ruins they had worked so hard to find. His complaints died on the tip of his tongue as they stared at the structure before them.

It was overgrown, yes, but it stood proud. The outer walls were in good condition considering their age and the way the jungle reclaimed the land it stood on. “This sure is something, it’s a proper temple,” Illinois said. “Stay sharp, Markus. There could still be traps.”

The deeper into the temple they ventured, the more well preserved the rooms were. The traps they did find were easy enough to avoid. Illinois led the way through the halls. They passed through a hall with more traps than the others and came out the other end in a small library.

This must have been a place for the scholars to write and compile their findings. Most of the books were damaged beyond any recognition, but there were three in good enough condition to take. Markus excitedly took the books, carefully packing them so they wouldn’t be damaged on the long hike back to town. He was so excited that he was a few steps ahead of Illinois on the way out. Markus was talking about how happy he’d be to get back home and have a long shower. He was paying very little attention to his steps as they approached the exit. Just a few more steps and they’d be back in the camp they set up.

Click.

He tripped a pressure plate. Illinois realized it precious seconds before Markus stepped off it and rushed into action. Their eyes met for a brief moment as Illinois shoved Markus out of the way. Markus’ eyes were wide with fear. He realized at that moment that he probably would have died had Illinois not saved him.

Illinois’ eyes were wide with pain.

He stumbled forward, hand instantly going to his side. He knew he was bleeding, but it didn’t seem to be a deep wound. Hurts like a bitch though.

Markus panicked, “Shit! Shit… What the hell, Illinois? Why the fuck did you do that?”

“You think I’d just let you die?” Illinois panted. He felt weak. Markus grabbed his shoulders and guided him to sit in their little camp.

“Your associates usually die on your adventures. I figured if I was ever stupid enough to get into that situation I’d just be on my own. I wouldn’t be the first person you didn’t save, anyway.” Markus was frantically searching for their medical kit.

“No… no. I couldn’t do that.” Illinois winced. His head was throbbing in time with the beating of his heart.

Markus whirled around with the medical kit, “Why the hell not?!”

“Urgh, ‘cause, Treasure. I could save you. I think I love you.” Illinois closed his eyes and silently begged the blood rushing in his ears to quiet down. Everything felt dim and shaky. Markus said something, but it was like his head was underwater; he couldn’t understand what the words were.

When he woke up the first thing he noticed was the sound of a crackling fire. The second thing he noticed was the searing pain in his side. The third thing was that he was well and truly alive. He opened his eyes and turned his head, eyes falling on Markus. He had his knees pulled tight against his chest.

“Hey.”

Markus’ head whipped towards Illinois with wide, teary eyes. He scrambled over and immediately began fussing and asking questions.

“Treasure,” Illinois said weakly, “One thing at a time, okay?”

“You are so stupid. You know that?”

“I think I might be realizing that,” Illinois laughed breathlessly, wincing at the way it irritated his wound.

“You are so lucky. You have no idea. Holy shit, don’t scare me like that again. I love you too much to see you get hurt like that again.”

“Well,” Illinois smiled, “I think it might be time I go full time at the university after this little mishap. It’d be awfully lonely coming back to an empty home though.”

“You did not just ask me to move in with you with a cheesy fucking bit line.” Markus laughed.

“Did the line work?”

“Someone needs to make sure you don’t stay up all night researching. I guess that’d be easier for me to do if I stayed there.”

“So yes.”

If you're squinting you forgot your glasses dumbass.

Illinois grumbles as his vision relaxes after trying to read his husband's message on the post-it note. Muttering something under his breath, he walks back towards their room, looking for the reading glasses he now realises he's left on the bedside table.

When he gets there, he finds a similar note stuck on the brown leather case.

Upon closer inspection, it reads:

Also you look sexy.

Illy smirks despite himself, picking up the case and folding the post-it before placing it in his pocket.

"Ridiculous thief," He shakes his head, with no one else around in to hear to affection in his voice. Markus will be back by the time he gets home from lecturing, no doubt snoring on the sofa after a night's work.