I turn the knob on my closet door 5 times to the left, 3 to the right, and then knock twice. I open the door to see a long alley, lit from below. At the end of the alley is a towering store with "Forbidden Videos" in neon lights, wrapped around the front and disappearing around the side. The door opens as I approach it, huffing out cool, sterile air. The attendant doesn't look up from their desk as I walk up to the register but they interrupt before I can ask my question, pointing to a far off corner. I follow direction, walking past rows and rows off videos, until I reach the back wall with two signs pasted on them- "the thing you want most" and a large red arrow pointing to a dark display case. With trembling hands, I open the case, staring into it with manic glee. I pick up a DVD case that says "White Christmas but Danny Kaye was allowed to be even gayer"
