#hell whispers

It took only a few seconds after Trickster had left for the wave of noise to crash into Gabriel’s ears. He winced at the level of sound as the whispers were frantically trying to get his attention. They jumbled into simple noise and for a moment, he couldn’t understand them. Then they calmed down.

…stupid angel has to hide behind the pagan…

…weakling, you’re so weak, pathetic and useless on your own…

They went on but he ignored them. He could do that now. Ever since the red had been destroyed the voice seemed to have lost a little of its strength and it wasn’t as loud as before. The archangel was thankful for that as it made going through the day a little easier.

Feeding the ducks first thing in the morning was always fun because there weren’t many people around and the ducks themselves were still lazy. The ducklings were always excited to see him and they squeaked and scrambled over each other to reach him. The parents were still wary, would always be wary like parents should be but they had grown used to his presence. The ducklings moved around him, flapping their tiny wings. They were beginning to grow their feathers in and he knew they’d be flying soon.

…you should teach them to fly…except you can’t because your wings are useless…

…let us pluck them again we’ll burn the feathers have a bonfire…

…you should cut them off, let us play with them we’ll help you, we’ll make it hurt for you…

…make you fucking BLEED…

His hidden wings twitched.

After spending time with the little creatures he left when the park began to fill with people. He knew some and waved as they passed each other by but he didn’t stay long. The whispers were worse around other people.

…they’re just being nice they hate you wANT YOU DEAD AND BLEEDING you wretched waste…

…the world would be better off without monsters…

The streets were quiet; it was mid-morning so most people were at work or just starting their day. He passed by the familiar bar he’d found a little while back but he didn’t go in.

…you’re a fucking joke nobody wants you in there ever stay away you stupid shmuck…

He entered a small bakery instead, smiling tiredly at the girl behind the counter. He ordered two half dozen boxes of red velvet cupcakes before quickly leaving the store.

…simpering fool doesn’t even know how pathetic he is…

…the only good angel is a screaming one. Remember Judas’ Cradle? That was certainly fun…for us…

The archangel supressed a shudder as he walked, not focusing on the thoughts or memories that came with them. Instead he focused on his destination. It was a long hike to the edge of the city.

The cottage was small and quaint, with a lot of flowers growing in the yard. It was a lovely place.

…oh so lovely stay away you tainted little shithead…

He’d been there yesterday and the day before. He had lost count of how many times he had approached the house but he had never managed to knock. The walk up to Rosey’s door was short and before Gabriel knew it he was on her stoop. He raised his hand to knock but flinched away as he became aware of a familiar presence inside the house.

…what are you doing here keep walking you’re not needed or wanted she doesn’t need a monster ruining her happiness she’s happy hell-rat, she’s happy and she doesn’t need you…

…she doesn’t want a monster around she doesn’t want you around leave go run away you coward gET OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING BEAST-

He lowered his hand slowly before looking at the boxes of cupcakes. If he left it, she’d know he’d been there. He silently turned around, walking back the way he’d come. She probably had better things to do. He was probably the last person she wanted to see.

…bullshit you coward you just can’t really face her go run and hide it’s one of the few things you’re good at…

He’d try again tomorrow.

…do you really think that’s going to change anything you stupid fuck she hates you and wishes you back with us…

…come to us…

…play with us…

…we enjoyed you…

He was exhausted by the time he returned home –

…this isn’t your home you just live here you freeloading pile of –

The whispers stopped the moment he opened the door and he let out a sigh of relief as he closed the door and sagged against it for a moment. His mind was quiet, peaceful and there was no undertone of whispering, and there wouldn’t be again until Trickster left.

After collecting himself he stood up, taking the two boxes with him as he moved forward, “T-Trickster! I-I have a few treats for you!”

The moment Gabriel got home he slammed the door closed, locking it quickly and adding a few extra just in case. He wasn't sure what he was running from because he was pretty sure that Fear had run in the opposite direction.

...you worthless coward you could have ended her...

...you had your chance and you blew it you waste of life...

He cried out, holding his head in his hands as the whispers grew louder and louder until he couldn't take it anymore. He closed his eyes tightly and fell against the door, slowly sliding to the floor.  He huddled in the corner, pulling his legs up to his chest, whimpering at the pressure behind his eyes.

What had possessed him to do that? To claim another being? He hated that kind of thing when it wasn't consensual.  It disgusted him. It came too close to the things he'd experienced in Hell.

Hazel eyes opened as all the whispering suddenly stopped and his eyes slowly grew wide with realization.

...we miss you angel...

...but just wait, we won't be missing you for very much longer...

His heart pounded erratically at the thought of the whispers being more than just that. How was it possible?

It wasn't possible.

It couldn't be possible.

No, he'd just been bitter, feeling a little vengeful.

(But when did he ever feel vengeful?)

It didn't matter, he didn't want to think about it. He was afraid that if he focused the whispering would return. He couldn't handle that. Not now, not when he felt so...

...little angels are pretty when they're broken...

He flinched, mind moving away and ignoring the taunts.

Nothing changed the fact that he owned Fear for another day.

Owned.

He wiped a hand across his eyes, ignoring the wetness that appeared on the back of his hand.

It wasn't permanent though, which was a good thing.

That was a good thing.

She walks up to his house and gets ready to knock on the door. Hesitates for a moment. The last time she was here... it didn't matter. She'd been a fool.

She knocks on the door to his house and as she ignores the memories she can't help but smile to herself. Another night another session. She's almost giddy. She can practically taste him again already.

The moment he heard the knock on the door his heart stopped and he glanced at the front door with wide fearful eyes.  He knew damn well who was at the door and all he wanted to do was flee up the stairs and hide in his room, but even that couldn't bring him comfort anymore.

Trickster. Think of Trickster.

...he'll be better off without you anyway angel, they all will...

Swallowing, the archangel uncurled from the couch, revealing Addie clutched in his arms.  He kissed the kitten's head before shakily setting her down on the couch.  He reluctantly went to the door and opened it. "F-Fear." He whispered, wanting more than anything to slam the door in her face and hide, but he didn't. He opened the door wider to let her in.

Gabriel was calming down, knowing that as long as Michael was there he'd be able to get through whatever happened to him. Even just knowing that Michael wanted to help him made Gabriel feel that much more stronger. He'd be fine. He could do this.

The sudden loss of physical support almost caused Gabriel to fall over and he looked up at his brother in confusion, "W-what-" He began but cut himself off at the look on Michael's face and his heart drops low in his chest.

Gabriel said nothing as Michael took off, leaving him standing alone. He stood there, shocked that his brother would abandon him just like that.

...but why are you surprised? in the end you'll always be alone...

The archangel swallowed the harsh truth as he slowly slid to the ground, unable to support himself any longer.  He brought his quivering wings up and curled them around his body, pretending they were Michael's, as he'd done hundreds of times before.  It was a little easier this time, as the feeling was still so fresh in his mind, and he knew he'd cling to that for a long time to come.