#hell bound

From the opening scene, we can assume that some time has passed since the events of Unleashed. Fred is much more knowledgeable about Spike’s ‘condition’. She knows there has been a slight drop in his radiant heat signature without referring to previous figures, suggesting an in-depth, cultivated knowledge of him that’s becoming almost second nature. This is her problem and she’s working it, testing ideas and developing theories and looking for solutions. She has an obvious passion for her work, for this particular task.  Fred and Spike have a nice chemistry. Despite the mild flirtation (on Spike’s part) they have a brother-sister type of relationship that is reminiscent of a beguiling toddler charming what they want out of their attendant adults. He has the utmost faith in her abilities and she has belief that she’s doing the right thing. When she tells Spike she’s getting close to a solution, he asks “to make me a real boy again?” Fred replies:

Fred: As real as a vampire with a soul can be. It won't be like Angel's thing with the prophecy, but...

Spike: What prophecy?

Fred: The Shan-shoe-ha something or 'nother; says that if Angel helps enough people, he gets to be human again.

Spike: Oh. Really; Goody for him  

So Spike finds out about the Shanshu Prophecy. As yet he has no idea that he may be implicated as a possible candidate for the prophecy about the vampire with a soul. At the moment it’s just one more thing that Angel gets, one more reward on, what Spike thinks, is an already enviable stack. But he doesn’t dwell on it. He’s not there seething with wrath and indignation that Angel’s the chosen one. It means nothing to him so when the topic moves on, so does he.  Suddenly, just as Fred is offering a smidgeon of hope that she might be onto a cure for his condition, he falls through the floor and finds himself in the basement of Wolfram and Hart. Here he encounters a man sitting at a table slicing his own fingers off. The man is gone in a blink of an eye leaving Spike seriously spooked. Not an easy thing to do to a vampire.

Fred goes to Wes and requests some very particular, hard to locate items that she needs for her re-corporealisation plan. Wesley tells her he can get them in a very short time providing a neat contrast to the way they used to operate, the efforts they used to have to go to track down an object, an artefact, an ingredient. Guess there are some perks working for an evil multidimensional law firm after all. But what’s really on show here is Wesley’s care, concern and quiet passion for Fred. They are all working hard, ridiculous long hours but in the midst of it all Wes has noticed that she looks tired and is not eating properly. He’s still connected to the ‘family’ unit; she is still his first priority. A direct contrast is provided in the next scene. Angel, despite his efforts in ‘Unleashed’ is not really connected to anyone. He hasn’t noticed Fred’s lack of sleep, under-nourishment or even her excellent work output. He seems embarrassed that she jumps to the conclusion that their meeting is about her personal welfare:

Fred: It's OK. Wes just gave me the talk. And I'm going to have a good meal and at least 6 hours of sleep, so everybody can just stop worrying. I'm fine. Really.

Angel: Good. That's…  Actually, there's some concern about how much the Practical Science Department's been spending

Because this is all about business not personal concern. We learn just how much time, effort and money Fred has put into helping Spike. Eight hundred grands worth, that’s how much. Angel is stunned. Why on earth would she spend all that money on Spike, of all people? Helping the helpless is one thing but…Spike? And especially not when it affects the bottom line so severely! Fred, in her typically spirited style defends her actions:

Fred: Angel... We accepted the offer to take over the L.A. Branch of an evil, multi-dimensional law firm because we thought we could make a difference. Use the resources of Wolfram & Hart to do something decent.

Angel: And how does that have anything to do with Spike?

Fred: He just saved the world; Vampire with a soul fighting for the good of humanity. Ring anything? He's just like you, a champion.

Angel: God, I really hate that word.

Fred: Think of what an asset he'd be fighting on our side. 

Angel disputes the suggestion that Spike would stick around that long:

Angel: Except he won't be. I know Spike better than anyone, and he only cares about himself.

But is this really true? Does Angel know Spike better than anyone? Buffy might disagree. Angel knew Spike, but Angel hasn’t known Spike for a long time, certainly not in the past four years when he’s changed and grown so dramatically.  And even when he did know him it was a master/protégée, hierarchically bound relationship in which Spike would have performed to impress and given prominence to characteristics esteemed by Angelus. When Angel says that Spike only cares about himself then he must be being deliberately obtuse. Angel knows this isn’t true. He lived with Spike and Drusilla for twenty years. He knew that Spike’s devotion to her was very real and he also knows that Spike, only recently, gave his life to save the world. Fred calls him on the statement using the most obvious argument:

“And Buffy”

Causing Angel to concede:

Angel: You're right. He does care about Buffy. So, where do you think he's gonna run off to as soon as his fresh, new feet hit the ground?

Fred: Is that what this is about? You're afraid he's gonna come back and try to get with your ex again?

But Angel doesn’t answer the question. He deflects it with a warning for Fred to watch out for Spike’s lethal charm. So . . . is this what Angel is afraid of; Spike running off to Buffy? Or perhaps it’s Buffy welcoming his return that he’s really worried about? So what does Angel want here? For Spike to stay a ghost but not be attached to Wolfram and Hart and himself? Why would Spike going back to Buffy bother him so much anyway? It hasn’t been of concern to him up until this point. Or is it purely because he doesn’t see Fred’s investment as prudent? Fred reminds him of their mission by saying, “It’s about doing what’s right. Remember?” Angel leaves it up to Fred but tells her not to be disappointed, and points out, “Some people can’t be saved.”

Whoa that’s a definitive type statement. What does he mean? Who can’t be saved? Spike - seems that Spike has been doing a pretty decent job of saving himself up until this ghostly bump in his redemptive journey actually. Or is Angel talking about himself? Is it that Angel, looking at himself and all he’s done and tried to do and everything that he’s lost has caused him to wonder at the futility of it all? That it all means nothing so, ultimately, he can’t be saved? Angel is beginning to doubt – himself, his purpose and the Shanshu.   

Spike goes looking for Fred but ends up getting seriously spooked by whatever it is that’s trying to spook him. He goes to Angel’s apartment, just to hang. Company is a very effective antidote to fear and who better to seek the company of the old Grand-sire. Angel assumes that Spike’s visit is prompted by his conscious talking to him, plaguing him; that he can feel how close he is to hell. Angel just can’t comprehend a soul that doesn’t come with a hundred years of guilt-laden torment. And to Spike’s chagrin, it seems like the old bastard might just be right. But rather than explain, Spike goes on the defensive, bravado in full swing:

Spike: What if I am? Not like it's such a big, bleeding deal, is it? If a ponce like you could break out—

Can’t show weakness and fear in front of the old man now, can we? Then they come to the Shanshu. Spike reveals to Angel that he knows about the Big Reward and tells him to stop acting like a martyr. But Angel disputes this saying that the prophecy is rubbish and that he no longer believes it.

Angel:  You think any of it matters? The things we did? The lives we destroyed. That's all that's ever gonna count. So, yeah, surprise. You're going to hell. We both are. 

Angel has no hope. No passion. No will to be doing what he does. Hope went out the door with Cordelia and Connor. Spike asks, “Then why bother?” And rightly so; if there’s no hope of redemption then what’s the point of even trying? Why not go out on a blood bender, kill every blond girl in every dark alley and feel none the worse for the experience. There is no point in trying to do the right thing if you’re just going to be condemned anyway.

“What else are we gonna do?” Angel replies.

Doing right isn’t a passion anymore. It isn’t even a means to an end. It’s just the alternative to being evil. It doesn’t weigh as heavy on the soul. Angel really is depressed and it’s interesting that it’s Spike to whom he reveals this. As much as he dislikes the guy, he’s the only one who can truly comprehend and identify with Angel’s feelings. It’s also interesting that Spike seems to accept this dismal forecast for their future, at least temporarily. But Spike’s already adapting, looking for the bright side, positioning him and Angel together:

Spike: Least I got company, eh? You and me,  together again. Hope and Crosby. Stills and Nash. Chico and the—

Angel: Yeah, are we done?

Angel is less than thrilled with the idea of an eternity with Spike. And they share a moment pointing out what they don’t like about the other finishing with:

Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam, even when we were evil.

Angel: Cared for you less.

Spike: Fine.

Angel: Good. . . There was one thing about you...

Spike: Really?

Angel: Yeah, I never told anybody about this, but I—I liked your poems.

Spike: You like Barry Manilow!

Spike uses Angel’s human name to get his attention, to claim intimacy, maybe even to flatter. And it works, because, to Spike and the audience’s amazement, Angel throws him a bone; he complements Spike’s poetry, something innately connected to the human William. It’s not much of a complement, because Angel’s artistic appreciation is, well , questionable, but still…

So that’s quite disturbing really, that Angel thinks there’s no hope for either of them; that regardless of what they do that they are still irrefutably Hell-bound, shackled to hell, no escape, no amends, no penance . . . no redemption. No matter what they do they’ll always be damned. 

God, no wonder Angel’s depressed.

Angel’s journey to redemption has been long and hard and his chosen route has been to make amends. It is by no coincidence that the episode of Buffy in which he really begins to question his purpose is also titled ‘Amends’. To earn redemption Angel has made a conscious effort to ‘make up’ for the past by doing good things in compensation for the evil things he’s done, he’s offered restitution, tried to balance the scales. That’s why the Shanshu prophecy means so much to him. It is like a light at the end of the tunnel, it’s hope that when he’s suffered enough, saved enough people, that his past will be expunged clean and he’ll get to be human again. He’ll be forgiven. The scales will be balanced and he’ll have proof positive that he is a good man. The trouble with amends is that it’s easy to become confused with what you are doing and why you are doing it. Is it the reward you seek, the end result or does each individual event carry unique significance and are victories unto themselves? Over the course of five seasons we’ve seen Angel struggle with this exact ambiguity. In Judgement, Angel is seen keeping a tally of clients and missions demonstrating his keenness to fulfil the prophecy and that he’s clearly motivated by the possible end result. But by Epiphany he’s learnt that:

If there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. 'cause that's all there is. What we do, now, today. - I fought for so long. For redemption, for a reward, finally just to beat the other guy, but... I never got it…

And Angel never really does get it. He continues to wrestle with redemption and how to gain it throughout the entire series. He tries to fight because it’s the right thing to do but the promise of reward is always in the back of his mind making his ultimate motivation debatable even if only to himself. To add insult to injury, he gets used and abused by those he’s trying to help, making him question why he even does it.  Like most of us, Angel fights best when there is a personal stake involved and when he gives up Connor and loses Cordelia he loses the two things in the world that make him truly care. Generic caring for others gets wearying and makes the loss of hope and will inevitable.  Doing the right thing, being a champion, becomes nothing more than a job. 

The other troublesome aspect of ‘making amends’ is that it becomes all too easy to excuse yourself from doing the right thing ‘just this once’. Hey, you can always balance the scales later, right? Making amends is about external acts not internal motivators. That’s why Angel can justify playing the role of judge, jury and executioner at times. If he can rationalise an act as righteous then it doesn’t have to weigh on his soul so he doesn’t have to add it to the long to-do list of amendments he must accomplish, yet it makes his efforts all the more murky.   

Spike has taken quite a different route on his journey to redemption. This is perhaps because it started prior to actually getting his soul. Way back in the Buffy season five episode ‘Crush’, Spike observes to Dawn:

Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out…

…It’s how you finish up, what you do in the now that matters. He understood and for the most part, adhered to the same concept that Angel wrestled with in Epiphany and used it as his orientation to seek redemption. Redemption in this circumstance meaning:

“The improved state of somebody or something saved from apparently irreversible decline”

While without a soul he was able to alter his behaviour significantly motivated by his love for Buffy and a genuine desire to be useful to her (with a couple of notable slip-ups; see As You Were and Seeing Red for example.) Once he got his soul back however, it allowed him to feel penitent, to feel the weight of his past deeds and to be genuinely sorry without them becoming a burden or an anchor tying him to unproductive infinite remorse. Yes, it’s necessary to be sorry for past actions, but that regret must also inform and influence ongoing behavioural decisions. 

Buffy: You're alive because I saw you change; because I saw your penance. Spike: Window dressing.Buffy: Be easier, wouldn't it, it if were an act, but it's not. You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man.Spike: Buffy...Buffy: And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike.

Spike’s lucky, he had Buffy to prod him along, not let him give up; inspire him to be the ‘good man’ he wanted to be, but he is not relying on outside forces to determine his worth. The past happened and he can’t change it. So now, his will is simply to be good, to do good deeds and not be the monster he was before. As long as he continues to do this, then he is, in essence, already redeemed. 

But back to Spike and Angel sitting on the couch; Spike spoils the friendly mood when he starts to see ghosts. Angel can’t see them but calls in the rest of the team to assist. Spike is agitated and undeniably freaked. He disappears from view, though he soon works out that he can still see them but they can’t see or hear him. He tries unsuccessfully to get Fred’s attention:

Male Voice: She can't help you now, William. No one can. 

William; again with the Christian names! But it got his attention all right. Spike has another encounter in the basement; the ghost uses his name and shows she knows him and tells him “the Reaper” is coming for him. Spike high-tails it back to Fred’s lab and tells her, even though she can’t hear, that the end is nigh, no avoiding it now and he thanks her very nicely for all she’s done to try and help him.  Fred thinks she has the answer but alas, that idea would ‘liquefy half of L.A.” She begins to become despondent and self-defeating. He pleads with her not to give up. He has faith in her genius. He reaches out to touch Fred, instinctual habit, but instead of moving through her flesh, his touch creates a spark of electricity. Fred feels it and knows its Spike. For Spike, the connection is proof that he doesn’t deserve to be taken, not yet, not today.

The team calls in a mystic to try and communicate with Spike. She contacts “the dark soul” who brings pain and suffering. The dark soul begins to choke the mystic and Angel, betraying his complete lack of faith in Spike, jumps to the conclusion that he is responsible. The Mystic is killed, blood splattering all over Fred, causing her to beat a hasty retreat to the shower. Wesley realises that it is highly unlikely that Spike is responsible as why would he kill someone who is trying to help and so he gets the team researching other likely candidates for the ‘dark soul’ title. Meanwhile, Spike, displaying admirably quick mental capacities, works out what’s going on and who’s responsible. He discovers that if he concentrates real hard he can actually touch things enabling him to write the word ‘Reaper’ on the steamed up glass of Fred’s shower.

So Team Angel, using Spike’s information is able to discover that ‘the Reaper’ is Matthias Pavayne, crazed doctor, evil murderer, practitioner of the dark arts on whose sacrificial blood the Wolfram and Hart L.A. office is built. Fred, determined to save Spike and worry about Pavayne later, works on complicated mathematical equations and fine tunes her re-corporealisation device. She needs a massive boost of black magic to get the reaction required to take place. Gunn and Angel go to the White room to talk to the conduit to see if the big cat will donate to the cause. They return with the element and now, all they need is Spike.

Pavayne toys with Spike mercilessly. He taunts and teases. He tells Spike that it is his soul that condemns him to suffer forever, that there’s no escape. But, silly, silly Reaper, he also lets slip the rules to the game. 

Pavayne: ...all rules are mine. Reality bends. My desire. The way it was meant to...

Spike: Bending reality? I didn't just fade away. It was you. That's why they can't see me anymore.

Pavayne: Parlour tricks. To amuse... like your blood. Oh, yes, nothing here without the will. 

Spike once told Buffy that he was not a quick study but this is yet another example to contradict his negative self judgement:

Pavayne: Yes, squirm, boy. It won't make a difference. Getting what you deserve. 

Spike: You're right. I do deserve to go to hell, but not today. (Spike punches and connects with Pavayne)

Pavayne: You dare!

Spike: Quite a bit, mate. Reality bends to desire. That was it, right? That's why I could touch Fred, write your name in the glass. All I had to do was want it bad enough. And guess what I want to do now, you prissy son of a bitch!

You see, Spike has to believe in redemption. He may deserve hell, but it doesn’t mean he has to go there. He’s got hope; he’s got will. He’s lived redemption, he’s doing it, he’s working on it. To accept that Hell is inevitable, and is his “destiny”, would be a contradiction to everything that he is. Want it? Want it badly enough? Then make it happen. As the saying goes, God helps those who help themselves. He’s got the soul to prove it. Reality can be bent, altered, changed all right; we shape the world in which we live simply by being in it. 

Spike is able to engage Pavayne in battle now that he knows the rules but Pavayne is God in this world of ghosts. He knows more tricks, he’s stronger. He has Spike on the ropes, damnation beckoning but Spike is able to get away to Fred’s lab causing Pavayne to follow. Fred tells Spike to step into the circle so they can activate the device and re-corporealise him. Pavayne begins to strangle Fred, making Spike have to choose between his own solidity and Fred’s life.

The decision is a no brainer.

Spike knocks Pavayne into the device, re-corporalising him thereby saving Fred and stopping his reign of terror at the same time.  

Fred is disappointed at the failure but Spike is actually very philosophical; he’s happy with the choice he made, wouldn’t change it for the world. There’s good company, he’s picked up a few new tricks (and demonstrates lifting a coffee mug). There are worse things than being a ghost. Confirming to Fred that it’s just as she’s been saying all along, he is worth saving. Pavayne, however, is locked up in a box, alive but in a suspended state. Pavayne will not be able to move, touch, feel or affect anything. Forever.

Welcome to Hell.