#heisttask01

AUGUST 1, 2016

“      what the hell were you thinking today? we were supposed to keep a low profile and stay on task. in case you were wondering, that doesn’t mean flirting with the head of a spanish crime syndicate. and, no, before you ask, i’m not jealous. stop acting like a child and do your job, please, for once. i’ve got some business to take care of but i’ll see you in a few. i’m not going to tell your father about it, don’t worry. i’m feeling nice today. just remember that i’m watching you, neptune.      ”

SEPTEMBER 22, 2016

“      hey, calla. your dad is practically going crazy without you here this week. he literally couldn’t pick which tie to wear today--i told him to go with the dark red one, because i think that’s your favorite, right ? ...  anyways, i’m supposed to give you four one one on the latest development in the hope diamond case. you probably don’t wanna hear that, though. i’ll just call you back later. actually, before i go -- uh, just be careful out there. and come hom--i mean, back soon. bye      ”

NOVEMBER 20, 2016

“      hi, it’s me. look, i know i’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but i know you, calla, and i know you need to talk to someone right now, and i know it’s not gonna be your dad. i’m coming up the stairs to your room right now--so please just stay there, and stop running. you don’t ever have to run from me, okay?     ”

NOVEMBER 21, 2016

“      hey. you’re probably wondering why i’m not in your room right now. look, last night was a mistake --- it’s better if we don’t get .... involved. not that i didn’t like it, i just. i think it’s better if we keep it professional, [...] neptune. it’s my fault, i shouldn’t have kissed you like that. i hope you can understand.     ”

NOVEMBER 21, 2016

“      god, i’m such an idiot. fuck that, forget what i just said. i’m coming back, calla. stay right where you are, i’m literally runni--     ”

DECEMBER 11, 2016

“      how come you pick up your phone even less now that we’re dating ? aren’t you supposed to be excited to hear from me? anyways, i’m ninety-nine percent sure your dad heard me call you babe today, so if i don’t wake up tomorrow, know it’s because he poisoned me. in all seriousness, though, we need to be more discreet about this. we both know how important this team is to him. we don’t want to ruin that.     ”

JANUARY 14, 2017

“      good morning, baby. i love you. i know i’m on the other side of the world right now but i woke up thinking of you and i can’t get you out of my head. i miss your little laugh that you do when i say something stupidly corny like that. i miss the way you nuzzle your head into my neck when you’re tired. i miss your smile. if i can sort this out quickly enough, i’m going to try to get on an earlier flight home. but don’t wait up for me, okay? i’ll see you soon.      ”

MARCH 5, 2017

“      i spent all of this morning picking out a ring, baby. and i know you’re not going to hear this message until tonight, because your phone is sitting right next to me. you should really remember where you put that thing. you’ll be pleased to know that i did, in fact, ask your dad for his blessing, and that he did, in fact, give it to me. we both know it’s only your opinion that matters but i didn’t want to hurt the old man. i love you. after we acquire the van gogh piece tonight, i really hope you say yes. call me cocky, but i’m pretty sure you will. love you. see you later.     ”

MARCH 7, 2017

OPTION ONE — write a letter that was never sent. this could be something they actually considered telling them ( perhaps a things i never said angle ), more of a journal entry, or simply their thoughts on a matter gathered into one place.

OPTION TWO — make a playlist. this could be based on the vibes of the song or the lyrics themselves, describing the character’s relationship to this person. if you want to include particular lyrics in your post that you think fit the connection, all the better.

OPTION THREE — create a visual representation. this is more open-ended, but some examples are: an aesthetic / moodboard, pinterest board, or any type of graphic. it could include quotes, images, etc. that you think represent this connection.

q —

you’re an asshole.

you promised me, you know. you promised me a 21st birthday to rival our 18th in madrid; you promised me to embarrass the hell out of whatever poor, unfortunate significant other i dragged home one day; you promised me we’d walk carina down the aisle together. i’ll never forgive you for that one.

you promised you’d read to me when we got home that night. cien años de soledad was on my nightstand waiting for us. i still haven’t picked up where we left off. it’s been seven years and i barely even remember the plot anymore, but i can’t bring myself to finish without you. it just doesn’t feel right.

i’ve been searching for that ugly ass jackson pollock painting mamá used to keep in your room. she’s such a pain in the ass — it’s one of the obscure ones, and she sold it off the second they cleared out your room. i can’t tell you how many times the sotheby’s agent has called me to tell me they’ve finally found it — they never have. i can picture it clear as fucking day, q. we all used to pile on your bed and roll our eyes at that stupid painting. sixteen year old me would laugh in my face if he saw how fucked up i am over it.

then again, if he knew the context, i think that’d be the least of his concerns. he’d be more worried about the time he has left with you. the days slipped away from me as easily as anything, and i never thought for a moment how numbered they’d be. i should’ve been more careful about the time i had left with you. 

nineteen years isn’t enough. you could’ve lived six lifetimes and i’d never be satisfied; you had enough energy in the mornings that you never touched a drop of espresso a day in your life. what kind of person is like that? jesus christ. you were the fucking energizer bunny, q. you could’ve lasted a millennium on that kind of power.

sometimes i think to myself that it should’ve been me instead. more often than i’ll admit to anyone else — but you’re a dead man, so what will you do? tell on me? you would never. it should’ve been me, quincy. carina’s going to be a damn lawyer, you were supposed to change the world with your do-gooder heart; what am i doing here other than slowly drinking myself to death and tangling myself in something that will almost certainly land me in jail? mamá y papá would be ashamed of me. not that that’s much different than usual, but it still hurts to think about. would you be proud of me, q? i don’t think carina is, but we haven’t spoken in years. i’m terrified to pick up the phone, but i miss her so fucking much. i miss you so fucking much. i don’t know if it’s supposed to get easier, but i sure as hell hope it does. i can’t take living like this forever. i feel like i’m missing a limb.

do you see us, wherever you are? do you laugh, cry, love, all just the same as when you were alive and here with me? i like to imagine you on a grassy hill somewhere. the sun is warm, the breeze is gentle, and you’ve got a picnic basket full of jamón, manchego, y cava. i like to think it’s nice there. i like to think you look down and laugh: carina’s up to her elbows in dusty law books and tweed; i spend most of my time stealing the sort of things our parents use to decorate their summer home. couldn’t make this shit up if i tried. i’m still not sure if you’d be proud of me, but i do think you’d like it, q.

i woke up the other day and i couldn’t remember your smile. i had to look through my photos until i found an old photo of you, probably laughing at some stupid face i was making behind the camera — i don’t ever want to forget again, so i’m trying something new. when i think of you, i think of the ratty t shirt you always insisted on wearing. the way you talked with your hands. reading to me over skype ‘cause you decided to go to fucking princeton instead of yale with me, you prick. i think of the curve of your smile, fresh in my mind again, and the way you threw your head back when you laughed, loud and full and unashamed. i won’t forget again, q. i promise.

te quiero. ya lo sabes, pero te quiero tanto, tio. hasta el fin del mundo. te echo de menos.