#heisendad

Background thoughts on this little scene below:

He was so wonderful to work with and the end product is perfection! I couldn’t have picked a better person to commemorate Chrysalis. Thank you so much, dude, from the bottom of my heart!

Annnnnnd another Instagram thing! Another lovely Cog asked for some more papa Karl moments, so here you go 💙

-distant screams of emotional distress-

does this belong to modern man Heisenberg? YES

am I gonna go for the Ethan lives situation? how dare yall think otherwise

am I throwing a bit of angst? ...maybe

surviving everything, doing a deal with Ethan, accepting whatever terms the BSAA offer, ending Miranda, and surviving everything? it feels like nothing compared to being free

there's a lot of things to get used to, the sounds, smells, tastes, everything is all just blindly new and so hard to adjust, but little by little he does

Karl's therapist has him making and sticking to a routine, one designed by him, one he has power over, it brings him peace and solace

you, Ethan, his work, and his routine are his anchors, it keeps him from panicking or succumbing to his own fears

that's why you fear telling him that you are pregnant, what if that throws a wrench in his development? what if he isn't ready? what if he doesn't want kids?

but you know you can't hide it forever and for the next few days you follow his routine with care and attention, searching for the moment to tell him

the moment comes when one night when he's pressing his head against your chest, listening to your heartbeat, you blur it out, knowing he prefers you to be blunt over beating around the bush

Heisenberg sits up so fast you think he's going to bolt for the door and never come back, instead, he speaks in a shaky voice, asking "Are...are you for real, buttercup...I'm...gonna be a dad?"

one nod and he's laughing like a maniac, running his hands through his hair, pulling you up, and kissing you like the first time you said I love you

he wants to call Ethan and Mia, even Chris! you have to convince him against it and remind him that the first 3 months are the crucial ones and that you will need to wait for a bit to share the news

all this awakens this side of him that BEGS him to be overprotective of you, even after your doctor said it's ok for you to keep on going with your normal life, he thinks he should keep you resting as much as possible

his routine does suffer a bit but he's quick to adapt, telling his therapist about the news and how he thinks this is a good thing! he's excited and wants to learn more about how to...well...be a dad!

you catch him reading books about pregnancy care, the milestones each baby reach, parenting books, it's cute and endearing

for the longest time, nothing feels REAL

he doesn't believe it when you two tell the Winters, when they help you put up a nursery, when the baby kicks for the first time, it feels like a dream

everything comes crashing down when Chris enters his lab and tells Heisenberg that you went into labor but that there are complications, he feels like he's suffocating, he doesn't register how or when he made it to the hospital, everything sounds so far away, his legs keep bouncing, there's a high-pitched sound in his ears...

it takes hours for the doctor to come looking for him, the woman looks exhausted and it's honest about how you lost blood but he can see you right now

Karl stays by your side, whispering how much he loves you, how well you did, how he can't wait to meet your child

when the nurse finally brings the baby to their mom, he watches enraptured how you hold and feed the baby, cooing softly, and gently helping him hold his child

he can't believe how tiny and fragile this child feels in his arms, he laughs when one minuscule hand holds one of his fingers, and then...he's crying, almost sobbing, pressing his forehead with the baby's

it's heartwarming and heartbreaking to hear him say "I promise to give you a better life than the one I had"

he's so careful when he kisses his child, afraid everything is just a dream or Miranda messing with him