#heejy

merry christmas, haileykins. i still think of and miss you every single day. i hope you have a great day today.

i had a dream of you a couple nights ago. you told me the reason why you didnt love me anymore, because you thought i was dangerously manipulative, both mentally and sexually, and i woke up crying, thinking you, in reality, might have actually believed that i was like that. i don’t know if you really do, since you never told me the real reasons why you fell out of love with me, but i never meant to manipulate or hurt you in any way, especially intentionally. if i ever did, i didn’t know, and i never meant to hurt you in that way. i always tried to put my best intentions into making you happy, even though i had times where i got disinterested and lost sight of making you happy and giving you all of the attention that you deserved.

i miss you a lot. and sometimes i still cry over you.

i wish i could talk with you again.

Been missing you... and I still care... a lot... as much as I don't want to...

Sometimes it feels like you couldn't care any less...

I keep thinking of how cute you were throughout our entire relationship... how adorable you were when we first met, and all you'd say was, "I THREW IT ON THE GROUND" in your cutiepie voice...

Staying up all night with you, drawing swastikas in the desert on CastleMiner...

I had a dream that you messaged me on Xbox, and then on tumblr last night... you told me that you still cared... and that you still did actually love me... and I woke up craving to check my Xbox messages and tumblr until I realized about a minute later in bed (because I was too lazy to get up) that it was actually a dream...

I still have all your old "asks" in my inbox on tumblr from your FromTheFlesh account two years ago...