#hee tae

Ohh goshhh they look like Koganei and Teppei from Kuroko no Basuke hahaha. I felt that my fantasy about Teppei came true because of this manhwa. 😂 Damnnnn those big hands and long fingers.

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS

(photos not mine, ctto)

I have never (outside school/work) written an essay of anything I watched, but I chose to do it this time because I have so much feelings and thoughts about it that I just have to release, contain, and immortalize it in this form.

There’s so much I want to say about this drama, but if I had to choose one word to describe it, I choose ‘worthwhile’.

It was the most worthwhile drama I have seen for some time. The writing was beautiful. The emotions were raw and clear--often understated yet fully felt. The characters? Well-portrayed, realistic, passionate, flawed, and lovable. But like any work, it is not perfect.

Before I continue, once again, please be warned that there are SPOILERS in this essay.

With the due warning made clear, let me now enumerate several points that I want to include here: my complaints, what I loved, and the finale.

My Complaints

I want to start with this so that we can get it over with and just focus on what made me love Youth of May so much.

Each point here is just a matter of p r e f e r e n c e, highly subjective, and most of you might disagree on one or all of it, depending on your preference.

But let me air it out because I won’t go on saying that the series was absolutely perfect and had nothing to improve. Here are some minor ones.

On some scenes, the character looks directly at the camera, showing the point of view of the person being looked at.

The ones I can remember are: *Jin A’s & Hee Tae in the music cafe (with extra effects),

*Soo Ryeon from the policeman’s perspective, when she was crying as she jay-walked (with in-love effect),

*Hee Tae in some scenes with Myeong Hee, and

*Myeong Hee from Soo Chan’s perspective right before Hee Tae came out of the Fitting Room.

Personally, I just prefer the characters never looking directly at the camera to show someone’s POV (i don’t mind it with objects though). I just can’t ignore the fact that they’re looking at the camera and not actually at each other, but then that’s just me.

The second and last thing under “complaints” is that the ending and opening scene of episode 4 and 5, respectively, do not match.

In the ending of the fourth episode, Hee Tae did not seem surprised at all upon seeing Myeong Hee and Soo Ryeon, as if it was intentional to surprise the two ladies. However, the opening scene of the fifth episode shows him to be as surprised and confused as Myeong Hee and Soo Ryeon.

I just can’t not be bothered by this minor thing. Or maybe it is showing something that I don’t quite get? Well, as I’ve said, these are all just a matter of preference. Hardly a ‘complaint’, but let’s settle with that for the lack of a better term.

Now that those are out of the way, I will now go to the major things I love about Youth of May. Brace yourself because there’s a lot.

What I Loved

To start, in terms of cinematography, I really like the transition effect used in several scenes. Two particular examples I can think of is the parallel scene of Soo Ryeon coaching Myeong Hee how to get dumped and the sequence of the actual date. There was a part where Soo Ryeon’s hands appear to push down the frame as a transition. Another is the beginning of one of the earlier episodes where Myeong Hee is flapping a bedsheet in the Emergency Room, in which the bedsheet transitions the frame to the next scene. These kinds of transitions are not new to K-Dramas or any series but it’s just so well-executed that I’m grabbing this chance to openly appreciate it.

The next thing I want to point out is the four main characters. All four are flawed yet admirable. All four are all passionate about something. And all four actors all portrayed their them so well.

Soo Chan is tender-hearted, hard-working, and responsible. There is a rare incident of him getting angry, and this scene enriches our understanding of his character. He tries dealing with the devastating discovery of Myeong Hee and Hee Tae’s connection by himself through drinking. But what I love is that he later on confronted BOTH Hee Tae and Myeong Hee. He confronted them BOTH when he thought they were making a mistake, which I think is the right way to handle the situation. He confronted them but he did not force anything to go his way. He just did what he discerned he had to do.

Unfortunately, this anger had consequences that were not so little — and we see how he was overcome with guilt after. Him not being chosen by Myeong Hee did not stop him from helping her whenever he could. The rejection did not change his behavior towards her. Despite his faults, he has always respected Myeong Hee and has never expected anything in return for all he gave, nor did he use this in his favor.

He stood up to his father when he was about to compromise what is just and right for their business. “Father, I cannot obey you in this,” he says, determined to uphold and stand up for his principles, which became more progressive towards the end.

The eye-opening experiences that made him feel the unjust pain and discomfort he never imagined receiving in this way were the turning point. This firsthand experience of injustice moved him to fight alongside the people who continue to suffer because of it instead of being consumed by fear and steering clear from danger to keep himself safe. 

Soo Ryeon is fearless, never afraid for herself and determined to resist and publicly oppose the abuse and wickedness of the government authorities of her time.

However, like most, she’s helpless when it comes to her family, and her desperation drives her to the point of asking for things that should be beyond the bounds of asking (especially among friends!) e.g. asking for your friend’s lover to be your fiancé.

But that’s should not define her entire identity, especially because she recognized her fault and did her best to make amends. You can see her heart shine the most in this: she knows that there is a cause worth fighting for and you will find her in the thick of the action, in the frontlines.

She has a clear sight of what is most important to her. That is why after a few bumps in the road, towards the end, she finally mustered up the courage to give up everything that will hold her back, no matter how difficult it was.

She can be inappropriately brazen and insensitive, but one cannot deny that she truly cares for Myeong Hee, for the people, and the for cause she is fighting for.

Now let me look at Myeong Hee and Hee Tae in light of each other. This, after all, is their story — of love, of loss, and of life…and of death. (See. I told you, spoilers)

Hwang Hee Tae — here is a male lead that we have witnessed to be so vulnerable. He is strong in many ways, yet you see all the parts where he’s broken and wounded.

He’s a character that is competent in medicine and in handling life’s setbacks.

What I love most about him is that he is never resentful; I believe not even towards his father. And as revealed in the last episode, not even towards Myeong Soo.

He said twice to two different people (to Soo Ryeon and to his stepmom) that he has never resented them. Even if he has the reason to, might I add. On the contrary, he is always genuine in his kindness, even offering them help when needed, and even giving them advice.

Kim Myeong Hee — among the two of them, I would say that Myeong Hee is the stronger one. She is so grounded and steadfast. A force to be reckoned with. She has her priorities and goals clearly defined and she’s heading towards them single-mindedly.

Unfortunately, very few people see this about her. They push her around because they mistake her humility and kindness for weakness.

But Hee Tae knows and sees her strength in its fullness.

Myeong Hee knows her priorities. That is why at the beginning, despite wanting him too, she can easily let Hee Tae go. Because to her, the things that matter most are not at the mercy of things that matter least (Johann Von Goethe), and Hee Tae was at the bottom of her list (but not for long).

As for Hee Tae, he had some stuff going around — the songwriting thing, dealing with persistent effects of a traumatic experience, and Seok Chul’s well-being & hospital transfer. But even with all this heavy stuff going on, he really does live life lightheartedly (coz that’s his life motto according to Hye Gun).

He’s quite chill about everything. Everything except Myeong Hee, that is.

To him, there is absolutely nothing “chill” about what he feels for Myeong Hee.

The way I see it, Hee Tae is not as passionate and sure about anything as much as he about what he feels for Myeong Hee.

He wants to live lightheartedly, which is evident, but then this woman comes along and all the effort to live out his motto is shattered, completey out the window.

No more lighthearted Hee Tae. He was now about-to-weather-any-storm Hee Tae because now he had something to cherish, fight for, and protect.

He says to himself in the finale, “It was my choice to love her with all my heart.”

And boy, did he love her fiercely. Even when he was disappointed or frustrated with her, he loved her.

You feel it in his eyes and in every tear that falls from them, in every heavy exhale, in the creasing of his brows, in the clenching of his jaw, in the times of his evident restraint, and even in his silence.

Let me point out that neither Myeong Hee nor Hee Tae directly said “I love you” to each other in conversation, not once.

Despite this, you cannot deny how much they do. It need not be said. The series has an understated quality, which I love; the silences and pauses are as meaningful (if not more) as what was spoken.

I also will not miss to mention that even if the entire series (except for the finale) is only a span of one month, I love how it shows how their relationship blossomed.

In a single month, you see their intimacy gradually grow. Hee Tae fell first--and hard, he was all-in from that black-coffee-and-beer first date. Then Myeong Hee came around, almost catching up to the level of affection and certainty that Hee Tae had for her.

From new lovers going on cute and charitable dates, to having bickering-old- married-couple vibes while working in the ER, and to finally getting married! I love how their love was an enriching and healing of each other.

Before all this, Myeong Hee was trying to live a “quiet life”, she never wanted to draw attention nor cause any kind of trouble.

But meeting Hee Tae meant having someone she wanted to fight for. Before, she only stood up for other people but this pushed her to be assertive for herself to people who never expected her to say no.

Myeong Hee untentionally and repeatedly drives Hee Tae out of his comfort zone and even caused him to face his fears.

Myeong Hee believed in Hee Tae for something that he was so unsure of himself--that he can be a good doctor. She reassured him gently yet firmly.

I believe that Hee Tae would not have pursued being a doctor if not because  Myeong Hee.

Two more things I cannot not include here is that this drama addressed the important need for the younger generation to know the struggles of their nation many moons before they were born. This drama was set in South Korea in the 80s, (Gwangju Uprising) when the country was in Martial Law.

The four main characters represented different kinds of people during the time:

Soo Ryeon, an activist fighting for liberation of such a rule;

Soo Chan who, because of his position of privilege, was so detached from the reality and plight of the masses, the people whom his sister are fighting with and for;

Hee Tae, someone is aware of the reasons why his fellow students and citizens are resisting this authoritarian rule and is so close to where the fight is but chooses to stay out of it in the name of “living lightheartedly”;

Myeong Hee, a brave and selfless medical practitioner who WILL NOT turn a blind eye when she can do something to help.

Through this, we journey with and witness them grow from how they started to where we find them at the end.

It would be easy to relate to at least one of these characters. Therefore, it will help one to see how it might be for you, were you in this dangerous and ruthless time in history.

It can even open conversations with others or within yourself, asking the question, “What would I have done?” or “What would I do if it came to this?”

The latter of the “two more things” I cannot forego is the message of the story (among others) that although it seems that you (with all the limitations of being just one person, whose efforts seem futile in light of the immense violence and injustice happening around and beyond you) cannot change anything, there are things that you can do. Choose to do what you can, within the lines what is up to you.

There’s so much more I can say, I could go on endlessly --about Myeong Soo and Jung Tae, about Jung Tae saving Myeong Hee, about Jung Tae’s mom having the courage to free herself and her child from her tyrant husband, about Kyung Soo, about the “before I met you, I couldn’t hear anything” scene, and much more. But I guess I’ll leave it here.

The Finale

Finally, let’s talk about that finale.

Not to overreact, but it was a brilliantly woven  m a s t e r p i e c e. My only complaint on the ending is that I wish Soo Chan’s, Soo Ryeon’s, and the other characters’ present lives were shown a bit more. Other than that, to me, this is probably the best ending of a K-Drama I have ever seen.

The old Hee Tae was essentially the same — he is lighthearted, he confronts combative people ~lovingly~, and more than all, he is still. frickin’. whipped. for Kim Myeong Hee.

Yep, that’s the word for it. He’s just so devastatingly, unquestioningly, beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt, can’t-be-undone kind of whipped.

That’s why her loss was excruciating for him. He was extremely gutted.

Then it hit him. This was what he prayed for every day forty-one years ago. Him being left behind was actually his prayer being answered.

That’s the crux of the masterpiece right there. I was internally screaming by that part. G O O S E B U M P S.

It’s so endearing and sad how he never loved anyone else after her—not in that way, at least--and so relieving that he became the doctor she believed him to be — and better!

He said almost the exact same thing that Myeong Hee told him in the orphanage to the young doctor who decided to quit after a devastating failure. He revived that young man the way Myeong Hee did -- by having faith in him and magnifying his strength.

See!!! This is what I’m talking about — masterpiece.

It was the 41st year since Myeong Hee died yet she lives! Because in Hee Tae’s heart and consciousness, she never died.

She probably was more real to him than anything else that remained.

After finally discovering what Myeong Hee’s prayer was on the day of their wedding, he promised that the years to come will be the answer to her prayer — to not let the sorrow overwhelm his life, to not drown in the tears, and to have the power and courage to swim safely throughout this life.

It ends with, “Until we meet again, I will swim against the tide with all my might.”