#hectirin

It’s about 1.5k words

Warnings: swearing & talk of PTSD, angst

Modern AU where the Brotherhood were military buddies, Adira is not mentioned in this fic. Gave Quirin’s wife the name Elena cause I felt like it. Came from a comic I saw of a gay couple and one of them telling the other to keep the suit on for later. This turned a lot more angsty than I thought it would. Also, I didn’t proof read this a lot so if there are mistakes I apologize. Enjoy.

Quirin watched Hector out of the corner of his eye as he dressed for his meeting. The man’s brow furrowing more and more as he tightened his tie. Quirin tried to control his sigh as he put on his jacket, but it came out shaper than he intended.

In his periphery, he saw Hector shake his head and flop down onto the bed. He’d been staying most nights now that they finally established their romantic relationship around four weeks ago. It was still very new to them, even though they had known each other for years. Things had gone well for a time, until Hector’s PTSD began acting up. It was causing him to distance himself immensely.

Quirin gently encouraged him to go to his therapy and it worked for a week or so, then Hector began refusing. He became a hermit for several days, not leaving his apartment even once. Quirin remained considerate, but would check on him and bring him food as Hector would allow. He tried his best to show Hector just how much he cared about him, that he was willing to help him through this. He had progressed to staying over again, but lately it seemed like Hector wanted nothing to do with him.

“How long ya gonna be?”

Quirin looked up from adjusting the collar of his suit jacket, surprised that he had spoken.

“I plan to only be there for two hours. So I should be back around 9:30.”

Hector grunted to acknowledge that he’d heard him. Quirin looked over himself in the mirror again, ensuring his appearance was acceptable, when his ears pricked at Hector mumbling under his breath.

The straw that broke the camel's back.

“Look Hector,” Quirin spun around to look directly at him now. “I understand you don’t like me leaving you for work related matters, but I have to go to this.”

Hector sat up on the bed and narrowed his eyes at the larger man. “Never said I didn’t like it.”

“You didn’t have too.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” He was standing now, his upper lip curling back.

Quirin felt the floodgates opening and in the back of his mind, he knew things wouldn’t be the same after this.

“It means if getting into a romantic relationship with me was a mistake to you that you only need to say so. No need to act distant so that I break up with you!”

He registered the confused hurt from the green eyes he thought he knew so well. Hector turned his head away and folded his arms in front of his chest, creating a barrier.

“That ain’t what I’m doin’ Quirin.”

“Then what is it? What are you doing?” He hardly recognized his own voice. Even in their early friendship in the military Quirin had never sounded this way. Especially not to Hector. He’d always been a kind voice of reason. Now, he just wanted answers. Answers that would ease the heartache he was feeling yet again. “Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

Hector kept his eyes averted and remained silent. A part of Quirin knew he was figuring out what to say, but he didn’t want him to think. He wanted him to answer with what he was immediately feeling, not think of how to skew his answer.

“God Hector I just want to know if this even means anything to you! I feel like I keep doing all these things for you, showing you that I care and that you don’t want any of it!”

Hector sighed and turned his back to him, “Just go to your fuckin’ meeting Quirin.”

“No,” he retorted. “I am not leaving until I get an answer. If I leave now, I won’t even be able to think straight during my meeting. I want the truth!”

Eyeing him over his shoulder, Hector’s voice was dangerous. “Ya wanna know the truth?”

“Yes!”

He snorted, “No ya don’t.”

Quirin stepped over to him and tugged on his shoulder, forcing them to be face to face.

“Yes I do Hector!”

“The truth is that I love you dammit!”

Quirin stared at him, “What?”

“I fuckin’ love you, okay?”

He dropped the hand that was holding Hector’s shoulder, it hovered in the air, unsure if he should touch him again. “When? How long?”

A sad, pathetic laugh left him as Hector shook his head. “Ya don’t wanna know the answer to that question.”

Quirin softly lifted his chin so their gazes met, “Yes, I do.”

His eyes went glassy as he unclenched his jaw, “Since I met ya. E-even when ya got married to Elena.” Hector’s shoulders shuddered as he took a sharp inhale. “That nearly killed me, ‘cause I could tell. Ya loved her so much, Quirin. Why'd ya think I took that assignment after? I was a coward. I couldn’t stand to see ya with her. So I ran off.”

Quirin’s hand dropped to his side, processing this information. But Hector wasn’t done.

“Then I got back and she’d died. A part of me wanted to take advantage of it, but I couldn’t do it. I promise I never tried to. I-I tried to just be there for ya. Be a good friend. And fuck, I really tried. But it made me realize why I fell for ya in the first place and how I still loved ya. We started bein’ around each other more and I kept wonderin’ if ya liked me back. Then we finally kissed that night and we made it official and-” His voice was cut off by a strangled sob.

“What?” Quirin’s heart was pounding in his chest. Excitement, happiness, and fear all swirling together with each thud of his heart.

“Then I was a fuckin’ coward again,” Hector broke down, his head hanging sadly. “I finally have ya and I’m so scared of losin’ ya. Especially with all my stupid fuckin’ mental shit. I’m tryin’ to control it, not let it take over my life.” Quirin’s brow furrowed, “What do you mean?”

His bright green eyes were brimmed with tears as they stared into Quirin’s dark brown eyes.

“Why the fuck would you want me like this? I can’t even let ya have a decent night's sleep, let alone keep my shit together in a crowded place.”

“Hector-”

“And why the fuck would ya want to have to explain to everyone what’s wrong with me? I don’t wanna put ya through that. That ain’t right of me to-”

Quirin surged forward, pressing his lips into Hector’s, silencing him from finishing the awful thoughts that plagued his mind. He brought one hand up to cup his face and the other to hold his body against his own. Hector stayed frozen as Quirin poured out everything he could into that kiss, hoping he could feel it on some level.

Pulling away, Quirin went to say something when Hector pressed back in for another kiss. It was less chaste than the one he’d given him, full of hunger and desire. Yet he somehow managed to separate himself from Quirin.

“Fuck. S-sorry. I shoulda-”

“It’s fine Hector. I just wanted to make you stop saying those things.” Hector’s green eyes looked at him hopefully, “What’re you sayin’?”

Quirin chuckled lightly, “What I’m saying is that I love you too Hector. And nothing can change how I feel about you, especially your PTSD and trauma. I love you Hector.”

The tears that were forming, now ran down his face. Quirin wiped them away and pressed his forehead to his. They remained that way for a moment, when Quirin’s phone buzzed on the bookshelf near the mirror.

“Ah, my meeting.” Quirin retrieved his phone and silenced the alarm. “I can call them and cancel if you-”

“Nah,” Hector interjected, holding up a hand. “Ya need to go. I don’t wanna keep you from your work.”

“Are you sure? I don’t like leaving you alone and I know you don’t like it either. Isn’t that how this whole thing started?” Quirin gauged his reaction to the question.

“What? Me mumblin’ before?”

“Yes. You don’t want me to go, right?” “I mean, ya that’s true, but that’s not what I was mumblin’ about.”

“Then what was the problem?”

Pink colored Hector’s cheeks as he hesitated to answer. “I just uh, fuck I don’t know if I can say it.”

“I won’t laugh Hector. I want to know.” Quirin cupped his face, giving him a genuine look.

Hector sighed and smiled.  “All I’m gonna say to ya is that…well…” He pressed into Quirin’s space and grabbed at his maroon tie, a little roughly. Tugging him in even closer so Hector could whisper in his ear. “Keep the suit on when ya get back.” He released the tie a little, letting Quirin pull back some and lock eyes with Hector. “Please.”

Quirin’s face burned, realizing partly what had been going on earlier. “Well I can’t say no to such a polite request, now can I?”

Hector snorted and looked away, his cheeks deepening in color. “Ya don’t have to. S’up to you what ya wanna do.”

“Well, I’ll keep it on.” Quirin gave him a quick peck on the lips and held his chin after. “And that’s a promise.”