#heavy profanity

SOMETIMES, THE RIGHT ANSWER IS NOT "ANALYZE MORE DATA" SOMETIMES THE RIGHT ANSWER IS "ASK YOUR FUCKING BIOINFOMATICIAN BECUASE SHE'S BEEN IN THIS FIELD FOR-FUCKING-EVER AND TRIES TO KEEP UP ON THE WEIRD SHIT."

ALSO, SOMETIMES THE RIGHT ANSWER IS, "THE DATA IS BAD AND WE DONT KNOW WHY BUT THE DATA DOESNT LOOK RIGHT. AND HEY, MAYBE THE DATA WASNT CURATED FOR THIS."

ALSO, "WE'RE 15% FTE. EVERYONE ELSE IS 70% FTE. SO OF-FUCKING-COURSE EVERYTHING SHOULD BE DROPPED TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS. BUT BECAUSE ITS ACCELERATED AND WE NEED IT YESTERDAY TO MAINTAIN A TIMELINE THAT WAS ENTIRELY FUCKING MADE UP, WE'RE BOTH NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU TIME TO DO QUALITY CONTROL ON THE SPECIFIC PRECURSOR DATA WE WANT AND NOT FUCKING BOTHER TO DO QUALITY CONTROL OURSELVES." MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE JURY, LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING DATA. MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE JURY, UNDERSTAND YOUR DATA GENERATION PROCESSES. MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE JURY, ASSUME THAT YOUR DATA IS DIRTY AND YOU HAVE TO SP -- NO, CLEAN IT. MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE JURY, CLEAN YOUR FUCKING DATA IF NEED BE. THAT INCLUDES EXCLUDING THAT JUST LOOKS FUCKING WEIRD. ESPECIALLY IF IT COMES FROM THE AT ONE LAB. AND INVOVLED RECTAL SWABS.

NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES FROM RECTAL SWABS. THEYRE THE WATERED DOWN GENERIC BRAND MT DEW LEFT IN A GLASS AT THE END OF A CHILDREN'S BRITHDAY PARTY OF THE GUT MICRBIOME SAMPLES. RESTRICT YOURSELF TO FECES AND HAVE A FUCKING GOOD DAY.

AND FOR FUCKS SAKE, IF YOU NEED ME TO DO WORK, EMAIL ME ABOUT IT DIRECTLY AND NOT THE 18 PEOPLE ADN DOWNT HE CHAIN BECUASE YOU DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND HOW IRBS WORK. YOURE NOT SPECIAL ENOUGH YOU GET A FREE PASS ON ETHICS DOCUMENTATION.

GO FUCK YOURSELF.