#heather writes

The team had experienced a tough loss, and you knew your boyfriend was somewhere in that room, beating himself up over it. Garrett didn’t take losing well; none of the boys did, but as team captain, he took on a different level of responsibility. You could tell he was in his head simply from the way he skated. He was hesitant, almost as if he was trying to predict the outcome of each move in his head before he chose a path, but everyone knew that Garrett played much better when he acted on instinct.

Eventually, Garrett’s teammates began to trickle out of the locker room in silence, but your boyfriend was not amongst the mix.

“Hey,” you call out to Logan. “Is he still in there?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t moved.” He shook his head in defeat. “Wouldn’t listen to anyone either.”

“Sounds like him,” you sigh.

“Well…” Logan trails off. “Good luck.”

Logan gives you a half-hearted salute and heads down the hallway, leaving you alone to make your next move. You hesitate for a moment before knocking on the wooden door and pushing it open.

“Girl incoming,” you joke lightly as you poke your head inside the locker room. You're dismayed when you find it empty.

After a moment, the muffled sound of running water catches your attention. Your footsteps echo as you follow the sound and enter the bathroom. Immediately, you’re overcome with the heat of the steam swirling around the room. The hulking figure of your boyfriend is hazy, but you can still make out all his features. You scan his body, noticing the bold lettering stretched across his hunched back and the way he's white-knuckling the sink in front of him.

“Babe,” you call out softly. He doesn’t budge. You’re not sure he even registered the sound of your voice with how deep inside his thoughts he likely is.

You decide to venture further into the bathroom, coming right behind him so you can place a delicate hand on his tense back.

“G, don’t beat yourself up. You guys tried your best.”

“And it wasn’t good enough.” He pushes himself off the sink and walks towards the shower stall without giving you so much as a glance. You take note of the bruises littering his abdomen, the deep purple and blues a stark contrast to his tanned skin.

Your boyfriend peels off his black boxers and steps into the stream of water. His body doesn’t relax despite the hot water offering some reprieve for his aching muscles. The steam is starting to get to your head. It’s stifling, but so is the silence between you and Garrett.

“It was an off day. It happens.”

“No, it doesn’t, not to us. Logan couldn’t make a clean pass, and Dean was letting everyone get to us.”

“That’s not fair.”

Garrett spins around and approaches you, crowding your space until you’re almost forced into the shower with him. Mist sprays you, but you pay it no mind; you’re much more focused on the way his wet curls cling to his beautiful face.

“What’s not fair is us losing because the team couldn’t handle some shit-talking from the other side. We’re supposed to be better than that.” Garrett’s tone is dark, but he’s not being mean, not to you anyway. Most people might be intimidated by a man of your boyfriend’s build hulking over them, but you know he’s harmless.

“Sometimes people have off days. Life happens, Garrett.”

“Not to me it doesn’t. I need to prove myself.” The silence between the two of you resumes.

The animalistic look in Garrett’s eyes causes all coherent thoughts to leave your head and swirl down the grate along with the water. You could never admit it, but you found it incredibly hot when your boyfriend got wound up. Of course, you wanted the team to play their best and win games, but the way Garrett would fuck you after a tough loss was a guilty pleasure of yours.

As the space between you and your boyfriend becomes increasingly smaller, you can’t help but notice his heavy breathing. His eyes shift down to your lips, and before you can process what’s happening, his plump lips are colliding with yours. It’s immediately an overpowering kiss. Garrett kisses like he’s trying to steal the air from your lungs, and he nearly does.

A large hand wraps around the back of your neck and leads your complying body further into the shower until you’re completely drenched. Water cascades down Garrett’s face, some of it getting mixed between your moving mouths. There’s still a faint taste of salt on his lips, but you don’t mind; it’s familiar.

You're painfully aware of just how hard Garrett’s cock is against your abdomen, and it only makes the need pulsing between your legs worse. Bringing one leg up to wrap around his waist, you begin to grind against him. You’re desperate to get any inkling of stimulation, but it’s cut short when Garrett grabs your thigh, using the leverage to push your leg down.

“Not yet.”

Your boyfriend begins to press a trail of rough kisses down your neck. When he reaches your collarbone, he sucks a mark into your soft skin. He does his best to leave it a place where it can be hidden, a secret just for the two of you to share.

When you moan as he nibbles your shoulder, Garrett decides he can’t deny himself of you any longer. He draws away from you and his hands move to quickly discard your clothing. The soaked fabric is thrown haphazardly onto the tile floor, a problem for later. Right now, you need each other badly.

Once you’re fully nude, Garrett grabs your hips and spins you around without a word. The cool feeling of the tile against your breasts is welcoming in comparison to the rising temperature in the room. His hands trace up and down your figure, admiring every curve but purposefully not finding their way to anywhere you want them to.

Waiting for Garrett to make the next move is painful. It feels like forever before his calloused fingers are finally making contact with your eager pussy. He slides one, then two fingers into you, stretching you open with a scissoring motion.

“Fuck. I need you. I need you now,” you whine.

“You gonna be good for me?” Garrett's gruff voice fills your ears.

“Yes.”

That answer is all your boyfriend needs before he’s sliding his cock into your pussy. He’s not soft with it, pushing in fully with a single thrust of his hips. You’re only allowed a few seconds to adjust before he begins fucking you roughly. At first, it’s just the sound of water hitting the tile floor mixed with the echo of your skin slapping together, but as his cock hits that sweet spot, your moans join the chorus.

“Take it. Take my cock, princess.”

“I can, I can take it.”

As if to reward you, his left hand snakes around your hip so two long fingers can circle your clit. It’s game over for you. Before you even have a chance to warm him, your pussy begins to spasm around his thick cock.

“Yeah, that’s my good girl.”

Your body nearly goes numb from the ecstasy. If Garrett didn’t have a bruising grip on you, there’s no way you’d be standing up straight. At this point, the moans leaving your open mouth were involuntary. The sound is music to his fucking ears. It lets him know that even when he’s played like shit, he can still do one thing right.

“That’s it, baby.” He rewards you with a kiss on your shoulder blade. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Garrett moans as he finishes with a final thrust. You can feel his cock pulsing as he empties inside of you. Then he stills. You both catch your breath before he gently removes himself from you.

Once the cloudy haze dissipates from your head and you’ve composed yourself, you turn around to face your boyfriend. You find he’s got a much softer look in his brown eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, G. Now please wash yourself because you smell like a wet gym sock.”

NiGHTS approached the fountain in the middle of the forest, unable to stop themself from looking over their shoulder for signs that they were followed.

Running away from Reala, from Wizeman, from everything and everyone they had ever known, it had been something even just weeks ago they’d have never been able to imagine. It hurt of course, running from your family always would. But without the pressure to steal Ideya, to terrorize the children who found their way in the realm of Nightmare, they felt an unfamiliar lightness in their heart. They felt free.

A laugh bubbled up from within NiGHTS as they began looping in the sky, reveling in the feeling of joy for the first time since they’d been given their task. “I never have to go back.”

“Well, I hope that means you’re not making your home here then.” The sound of a voice behind them stopped NiGHTS’s victory celebration. They turned around, seeing an unfamiliar brown owl. He was an odd sight, nothing like the denizens of Nightmare that they had spent their entire life with. “Nightmarens aren’t welcome on this side of the world of dreams.”

NiGHTS flew down towards the owl, getting close to his face as they examined him with interest. “What is the meaning of this!?” the owl asked, flapping his wings in front of him to move backwards so as to put some space between himself and them.

NiGHTS pulled back. “Sorry, I’ve just never seen anything like you before.” 

The owl frowned, but seemed relieved that NiGHTS pulled back. “Let’s hope you don’t, your presence here is a danger to all the Nightopians who call this place home.”

NiGHTS didn’t think they were a danger; they were pretty sure their decision to betray Wizeman would’ve made that clear. Then again, the owl probably didn’t realize that. “I’m NiGHTS. What about you?”

“What?” the owl seemed taken aback, so NiGHTS tried again.

“Your name, if we’re going to become friends, it’s only right that I have something to call you, right?” They stuck out their hand, hoping the owl might take it as a peace offering, and a step towards friendship.

Instead, the owl was incensed. “I don’t know what game you’re trying to play, Nightmaren, but it won’t work on me. I won’t let you try anything foolish.”

“I’m not trying to play anything.” NiGHTS insisted. “I’m really not here to hurt anybody. I don’t understand why you can’t believe that.”

“Why I can’t believe that?” the owl scoffed. “I’ve seen hundreds of visitors come here, their Ideya stolen from them by Nightmarens who love nothing more than to terrorize the Nightopians who try to find a safe haven here. Why should I believe you when you say you’re different, when you wear the mask that marks you as one of Wizeman’s goons.”

NiGHTS stopped, unsure what to say of that as they reached towards their face, feeling the heavy weight of the mask. They had forgotten all about their Persona in their desperation to escape, but now that they heard the owl point it out, they understood his wariness. There was no reason for him to believe that they were any different from any other Nightmaren when they still wore the pledge to their former master on their face.

They grabbed the corners of the Persona, gently removing it as they looked at the ornate golden design. Their fingers lightly traced around the large red gem in the center. This mask had defined their identity for so long, and now they were considering getting rid of it after so long. “I had forgotten I was wearing it, I didn’t mean to cause you any worries.”

“You forgot?” The owl remained skeptical, but NiGHTS was not one to be deterred.

They nodded in response. “I was trying to escape from them.”

“Why would a first level Nightmaren be trying to escape from other Nightmarens?”

So their true nature wasn’t as easily hidden as they’d assumed, that was good to know. “Because I don’t want to chase down Visitors for their Ideya anymore. We can’t help what we’re created as, but that doesn’t mean it has to define our actions.” NiGHTS was a Nightmaren, created by Wizeman, but it didn’t mean they had to steal Ideya, not if they didn’t want to. Not if it wasn’t who they wanted to be. “I was tired of hurting people, so I decided to leave.”

“Wizeman doesn’t take betrayal lightly,” the owl noted. “You’ll never be able to return to the life you once had.”

“I know. I knew the moment I left that things wouldn’t be the same.” They could still picture Reala’s expression as they’d told him that they were planning on leaving, that they couldn’t stand stealing Ideya and being under Wizeman’s thumb. They could still feel the chains that Wizeman had tried to throw them in when they’d left, the phantoms of shackles they’d only just managed to avoid.

Wizeman would never let them be free if he had anything to say about it, and they weren’t about to let him take them back either. 

They looked at the owl, remembering their determination to escape. “But I would rather be on the run the rest of my life than spend another day as Wizeman’s tool.”

The owl finally relaxed, their conviction convincing him of their intentions at long last. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Does that mean I can stay?” NiGHTS asked, perking up.

The owl chuckled. “Against my better judgment, yes. The Dream Gate is perhaps the only place that Wizeman and his Nightmarens have yet to truly ever invade. It might be the only place that you’ll ever be safe.”

NiGHTS doubted that, but said nothing, choosing to go along with it if it meant the owl was comfortable with their presence. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“I would expect nothing less. One action against the Nightopians who spend their time here, or the visitors for that matter, and I’ll be sure that you never set foot here again.”

NiGHTS smiled. That would be an easy task, they were tired of hurting others, and had no intention to do so again. “I’ll even help you protect them.”

“When another visitor comes through, I’ll hold you to that.” The owl extended a wing. “I believe you asked for my name earlier. It’s Owl.”

“Owl.” NiGHTS grabbed Owl’s wing and shook it. “It’s nice to meet you, Owl.”

Owl ended the handshake first with a hoot. “Now, NiGHTS, was it? If you want to settle in at the Dream Gate, you’d best follow along. There’s not a lot to see, but it’s important that when a Visitor arrives, you don’t get lost. Not if you’re going to help them.”

“I’ve got it!” NiGHTS held back a laugh. They would try their best to make a good impression on any Visitors that showed up, but it was still odd. A Nightmaren doing their best to avoid scaring the Visitors they’d meet while trying to impress them, what a novelty.

A Nightmaren defecting from Wizeman. That was a novelty as well.

“Oh, and one more thing. I’d get rid of that mask as well. Anything that marks you as one of Wizeman’s soldiers would never go over well among the Nightopians. Not if you want them to stop fearing you.”

“Right, of course.” NiGHTS looked at the Persona in their hand. It would be easy to just throw it away, to pretend that they had never been a part of Wizeman’s army, to give up that final part tying them to their past.

But that was the problem, in a way. It wasn’t just a mask tying them to Wizeman, it was a mask tying them to the other Nightmarens, to the ones they had considered friends and family, like Jackle and Reala. Getting rid of it would acknowledge that there would be no going back, though they weren’t sure there would be an option to go back regardless. Even if Reala managed to help them escape punishment, there was only one path left for NiGHTS: the one that would allow for Wizeman’s defeat at once, to free the Night Dimension and all Visitors from his grasp.

That was something to contend with another day. They returned the mask to their pocket and smiled. “Sorry for the hold up, let’s go!”

One day, NiGHTS would be willing to give up their Persona for good, to separate themself once and for all.

But for now, that didn’t matter.

It always started the same.

She would be lying on the dirt in the Satellite Sector, only vaguely aware of where she was and what was happening. She'd been looking for Jack, that much she was sure of though she didn't know why. And then, her arm would glow purple, and the hummingbird would arrive.

It was black and orange, and always seemed to be calling to her, beckoning for her to follow. And whether she wanted to or not in the dream, she found herself taking one step in front of the other, following the hummingbird through the decrepit old buildings until she came across a cliff's edge underneath the control towers.

She would look over the cliff wanting to see what the hummingbird was so proud of, only to find the entirety of the Satellite and Neo Domino City covered in bright purple flames. Flames that she got the feeling were spread out across the world if she bothered to follow. Flames that were destroying everything in their path, and causing nothing but hurt and death.

The terrifying part was never the flames. Their destructive wake was never something she wanted to see, but she knew the flames wouldn't hurt her. She was theirs, just as they were of her. The terrifying part was that as the flames spread, she could feel nothing but a feeling of joy as she realized her plan had come to fruition, and they (whoever they were) had won.

Carly nearly lept out of bed at the nightmare that had once again come to her. She had tried to dismiss it at first, foolish dreams and nothing more than a fear built on some silly legend she'd come across while trying to research the mark that was on Jack's arm, but as her dreams of the strange humming bird god continued, she became less and less sure that's all they were.

It was a disturbing feeling, one that was difficult to justify or explain. The knowledge that she would take joy in the death of everyone around her, in destruction, went against everything she was as a person. She wanted to help make others happy, and to share the joy in the world she saw around her, not drown it in a cold (hot? She wasn't sure, she never touched the flames) darkness.

She tried to calm her heart, still beating rapidly in her chest, and grabbed her phone. Technically she was sure that calling Jack in the middle of the night for something like a nightmare was a little ridiculous, but given the subject and the fact that it just wouldn't go away, she was certain that he wouldn't mind the intrusion.

The phone rang twice before Jack finally picked it up. "Hello? Who is this?"

She'd expected him to be asleep, but Jack seemed at least alert. "Jack?"

"Carly, is that you?" Jack didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "Did something happen? Do you need me to come over?"

"It's nothing, really." No, saying that was a lie and she knew it. "Well, okay, It may be something small, but nothing too bad. There's no reason to drop everything just to check on me. It was just a nightmare, that's all." As she said it, she felt almost foolish. Jack had to start preparing for the World Riding Grand Prix, he didn't need to sit with her and calm her down from a nightmare so she could sleep. She felt bad, interrupting him like that.

The other end stayed quiet, and just as she was about to apologize for disturbing him, Jack asked, "A nightmare?"

"Yeah, a really, really weird one. You see, I was following this humming bird and–"

"A hummingbird!?" The alarm in Jack's voice made Carly feel better about reaching out to him, though she didn't understand why he would be so worried. "Are you sure?"

"Well, it was small, and had the super long beak that they like to stick into flowers, so I'd assume so." When Jack didn't respond, she tried asking for more information. "Is that bad?"

She heard him mutter something on the other end of the line, but she couldn't make it out. "Do you mind if I come over, before you tell me more? I want to double check something," he said, now loud enough for her to hear.

"Okay?" Though he wouldn't be able to see her, Carly nodded to herself, feeling less reassured than before, but more certain of her decision. She knew Jack would be able to help her, but if he felt he needed to drop whatever he'd been in the middle of to come, then it had to be worse than she'd thought. "Jack, should I–"

"Things will be okay, I promise. Just let me come over first." Carly was about to hang up, but Jack wasn't finished, continuing his thoughts. "Just...if…" He sighed, frustrated. "I'll be there soon. If you remember anything, let me know."

"Remember?" Carly asked, but too late. Jack had already hung up, leaving her alone to her thoughts. Concerned for her own sanity but with nothing she could do further until he arrived, Carly began making coffee, hoping to keep herself awake as she tried to reflect on it more.

She tried to piece together what she could. The hummingbird was one of the Nazca Lines, which supposedly had ties to the Crimson Dragon, whose mark Jack wore, except she didn't understand their connection. The only thing she could think of was she was going to be a Signer too? Was the dark fire a warning? But then why did it bring her so much joy if it was destroying the world. It still didn't make any sense the more she questioned it.

Thankfully, not long after she'd finished making the cup, she heard the sound of Jack's D-Wheel pulling up outside. The engine quieted as Jack dismounted, and he knocked on the door. She opened it, not asking anything more. Jack looked almost as distressed as she felt, his hair windblown from the ride and a frown on his face, one that changed to a small smile when he saw her. "Carly, you're alright."

There was a hint of relief in his voice, confusing Carly more. She wasn't in danger, was she? "Why wouldn't I be? I know it's a weird nightmare, but that's still all it was."

Jack didn't respond, which only made her more worried. She prompted him again. "It was just a nightmare, right?"

"I'm hoping that's all it is." He grabbed the mug of coffee that Carly had finished making and took a sip for himself before sitting down at her kitchen table. If he hadn't come out to check on her, she might've been more annoyed, but as it stood, she couldn't be too upset. She had pulled him to her house at who knew how late at night. "Can you tell me about the dream?"

Carly nodded and sat down across from him. "Well, I see this...hummingbird, and it leads me through the Satellite to a tower even though I'm looking for you, and then when I look down, the world is destroyed and I…"

"And you like it." Jack finished her statement for her, and all Carly could do was nod in response. He knew what she had been about to say, and she didn't like it. "Carly…"

"That's not me Jack, you know that." Without meaning to get so impassioned, Carly slammed her hand on the table, startling both Jack and herself, though she wasn't sure who she was convincing more, herself or him.

"I know." Jack placed a hand on hers, rubbing it with his thumb gently. "I know you Carly, you're kind and loving, more than anybody else I know. That wasn't you."

"So then why did I take joy in seeing the world burn like that? Why did I…" Her voice trailed off. Jack had switched tenses. He wasn't talking about this like it was some hypothetical nightmare that she'd had. He was talking about it as though she actually had taken joy in destruction like in her dream.

She knew she had a gap in her memory between visiting the Arcadia Movement to investigate Aki and waking up in a hospital room with Jack at her side. She'd assumed something had happened during her duel with Divine, something bad, but aside from Jack telling her that she'd been hurt there wasn't anything that she could get from him or the other Signers about what had happened. Even Misty, the only other person who might've been able to tell her otherwise, had simply brushed her off by telling her she was better off not knowing.

"Jack, what happened to me?" Carly asked, her voice scarcely more than a whisper. When he didn't answer, she knew she'd gotten it right. These dreams, Jack's actions, were connected to that missing time. "You have to know–"

"I'd hoped when you had no memories of that time, it'd stay that way," Jack cut her off, and Carly froze. "I should've known that would be too good to be true."

"Jack…?"

"You'd died Carly, I'd thought I…" Jack shook his head. "You were a Dark Signer."

That...that can't be right… Carly opened her mouth wordlessly before immediately shutting it. What could she say to that? She couldn't have died and become a Dark Signer because she was here right now, talking to him.

"We'd dueled, until you got controlled by your Earthbound God. You had become a Dark Signer to bring me down with you, so we could rule the destroyed world together." Jack looked away.

She wanted him to say just kidding, but she knew. This wasn't the kind of thing Jack would joke about, and it made too much sense with her dreams for it to be anything else.

She curled in on herself immediately, pushing away from the table so she could put as much distance between herself and Jack as she pulled her legs up beneath her. "I...became a Dark Signer?"

She couldn't remember, but she'd done that. How badly had she hurt other people? How many people had she killed? How much had she hurt Jack in her attempts to make him a soulless creature like her? What had she done that she couldn't remember. Carly buried her head in her hands, starting to sob as guilt overcame her. She heard Jack call her name, and felt his arms around her moments later. She wanted to pull away. She didn't deserve his comfort, but couldn't bring herself to move.

"That wasn't you Carly. You fought against the darkness and won. You have to remember that."

"But all those people–"

"They're fine now." Jack's voice was uncharacteristically gentle for once, as though he was afraid of how she'd react if he pushed. "Everybody who was sacrificed was returned. Nobody stayed hurt, not even me."

Carly finally looked up at Jack, her eyes still filled with tears. "But I wanted to…"

"You and I both know that isn't true." She didn't reply, so Jack continued. "You were possessed, and as it is the only reason I won the duel…" He sighed, unwilling to face what he had to say. "Well, let's just say the only reason I'm still standing here is because of an action you decided that I deserved a chance to live."

Carly remained silent, though her sobs finally began to subside. She removed her glasses, drying off the tears so she could once more see. "Jack…why…?"

"Why didn't I tell you?" he asked. Carly nodded, and he looked away. "You were happy. I couldn't handle seeing you blame yourself for things that weren't your fault all because of some memories of a time that even I'd rather forget most of."

"I only did that…because it made me happy. That's why I was punished for my sins…"

The words echoed in her head, a memory that she couldn't quite reach. Yet she had a feeling that they were at least a part of why Jack was so sure she wouldn't take the knowledge of everything she'd done so well.

She was pretty sure they were exactly why Jack was so sure she wouldn't take the knowledge very well.

"Sometimes it was hard, of course I wanted to talk to you about what happened, what you'd said." She was surprised to hear Jack still talking, she'd gotten so wrapped up in her thoughts. "But every time I'd be reminded of everything I had to lose. This seemed safer, easier."

"Why, what did you have to lose?" Her voice remained quiet, and she looked back down. "It's not like you were the one missing memories or anything."

"Isn't it obvious?" Jack asked, she could hear the smug disdain (or was it surprise?) coloring his voice at her inability to figure it out. "I would've lost you. Your smile, the way you always try to cheer people on, they'd both be gone. I don't want to see you cry, Carly."

Rather than let herself hope for what that could mean, Carly simply decided to give Jack a small smile. "We both know losing me isn't that big a deal. I'm just the paparazzi you can't manage to shake. I…"

"You mean more to me than just that, Carly. You picked me back up when I was down. You helped me reach heights I never would've achieved otherwise."

"But…then why have you been avoiding me?" Carly tried to wrap her head around what Jack was saying with his actions since she'd woken up. He'd been there that first day, but after that he'd taken to dodging her every move. Had she not called him herself tonight, she was sure that he still would've been avoiding her every move.

"You told me you loved me, and then didn't remember any of it." Carly bit back her urge to ask if she'd actually done something like that, and instead let Jack continue. "If the girl you loved confessed to you, only to forget everything about that time that would just cause her more pain, wouldn't you want to avoid her too, either in case of the reminder or in case she'd get more hurt?" Jack let go of her, moving back to the seat he'd initially taken while he let her process.

"Well I guess…" Carly frowned, putting her finger to her chin in thought before immediately looking directly at Jack in shock. "Wait, what?"

She wasn't sure which she found harder to believe, the fact that she'd confessed to Jack as a Dark Signer, the fact that he returned her feelings, or the fact that she couldn't remember it even happening in the first place. "This isn't fair, why can't I remember any of this."

"Regardless of whether you remember it or not, it did happen." Jack looked straight at her, choosing his next words carefully. "Which now that I have no reason to hide it, I suppose begs the question of whether or not you still care for me, or if you'd rather I just forget the whole thing ever happened as well."

Carly shook her head, still trying to process all of this. The Jack Atlas had feelings for her. Even after she'd forgotten she confessed to him he was still in love with her enough to be patient on whether she'd remember, and evidently had decided that if she didn't remember he loved her enough to not try to push her into it or get her to remember something that belonged in her worst nightmares.