#heartnotes

Pretty sure the engagement with this blog is going to drop off drastically so... even though this is my all-ages blog, here is some other places you can find me!  I am posting this because I’m seeing other general blogs get flagged for review as adult, despite having no adult content. This is my Twitter: https://twitter.com/heartwatercolor <-I use pretty frequently, I post WIPS here, so you’ll see my sketches there too. I might make a tag for them all just so I can find in the future.

https://www.patreon.com/watercolorheart <-this is my Patreon, I try to make an update whenever I do something cool or I want to share some project files or I finish something. Keyword, finishing, that’s the hard part! I’m actually warming up to using Patreon as blog platform, because I can include a lot of text, images, and relevant files and tag it. I do hate that I can only tag 5 things.

I am still going to work on Sparse! It’s my project setting for my crappy isometric game and hopefully I’ll finally get the writing to a point where I feel like it’s good enough to commit to in order to animate it. I usually tag it #Sparse.

https://gamemaking.social/web/accounts/23203 <- I’m on Mastodon on the gamedev channel.

April 24th, 2026

“I recognized you in every lifetime I didn’t live yet.”

— Unknown

She once asked me if I thought we would still have something

if we ever fully moved on from each other.

And I said no—

but not because I don’t feel it.

I said it because I was thinking practically in that moment,

not emotionally.

Emotionally,

I don’t really know how to imagine us as something fully separate.

Because what I feel with her doesn’t sit on the surface.

It goes deeper than that.

She once told me about IFS in therapy—

Internal Family Systems—

the idea that we all carry different parts inside us.

And that sometimes people don’t just meet you in your life…

they reach those deeper parts.

The ones that feel like recognition.

Like familiarity you can’t explain.

And I think that’s what she is for me.

Not just someone I loved.

But someone who felt like recognition itself.

Like something in me responded to something in her

that I didn’t even know was waiting to be awakened.

That’s why I understand why people say “twin flame.”

Not as something magical or perfect—

but as a connection that feels like it runs underneath everything else.

Like it doesn’t depend on proximity.

Or timing.

Or circumstance.

It just… exists.

And I feel that with her.

Even when things are unclear.

Even when life moves forward.

There’s something in me that still recognizes her.

And I think part of me always will.

Not as something that traps me—

but as something that shaped me.

Something that stays with me

even as I keep growing.

My love for her doesn’t feel small.

Or temporary.

It feels like something that changed the structure of how I love at all.

And right now, that’s just what’s true for me.

— Troy

April 5th, 2026

When it hits—

my chest tight,

my body wanting to stay still—

I get up.

Because staying makes it heavier.

So I walk.

And she goes with me.

Not in the streets, not in the air,

but inside me,

in every step I take.

Sometimes I cry.

Not because I’m breaking,

but because I’m letting it out

instead of holding it in.

I miss her.

I feel her in my chest,

in the silence,

in every piece of me that remembers.

But I don’t stay stuck anymore.

I feel it—

and I move.