flubaz/flubazine/flubazinity - a fluffbaazulic gender quality; a gender quality related to lamb boys, blue sweaters, & fluffy things. this quality can be masculine, but isn't inherently so.
caervis | phyris | aerila
caervis - a term for an older fluffbaazulic individual.
phyris - a term for a fluffbaazulic individual regardless of age.
aerila - a term for a younger fluffbaazulic individual.
balomor | heartlet
balomor - a term for a fluffbaazulic partner.
heartlet - a term for a fluffbaazulic spouse.
symbols from photopea.
terms/flags by us. for taffi. tagging @radiomogai.
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Lucy sighed as she sank into the warm waters of the Hosenka hot springs. It had been a long time - years, even - since her team had found its way back to the heavenly resort. Back then, her enjoyment of the visit had been cut short by both Loke’s looming demise (although at the time she thought he was just being strange) and by the violent pillow fight that had broken out amongst her teammates in her absence.
Sinking lower into the water, feeling the heat seeping into her very bones, Lucy gleefully ruminated on how nothing would ruin her enjoyment of the springs this time around. For Loke was safe and sound in the Celestial World, and her teammates had been left behind in Magnolia entirely.
Well... all but one of them, that is.
Behind her, Lucy heard the sliding of the doors as they opened. Swiveling around slightly, she cast a cheerful smile towards her companion for the night.
Erza readily returned the expression, setting down her towel at the edge of the spring before climbing into the water. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Lucy.”
Lucy shook her head. “I only just got in! I was just thinking about how much more quiet it will be this time without the boys in tow.”
Her companion huffed and crossed her arms under her breasts. “Those two. Honestly, they’ve only gotten worse with age. Hopefully they’ll learn from being left out this time and won’t get us kicked out again in the future.”
‘She says that like we aren’t still pretty young,’ Lucy observed with a wry twist of her lips. ‘And like she wasn’t at least partially responsible for getting us kicked out the last time.’
“Although,” Erza tacked on, oblivious to Lucy’s doubt-filled expression, “it would have been nice if Wendy could have come along with us.”
“Mmn.” Lucy nodded in agreement. “But it might be a little deep at this end for her. Maybe when she grows a little more.”
Silence fell between the pair as they soaked. Cold air nipped at Lucy’s face, a reminder that winter was just around the corner. But it felt nice in contrast to the water’s heat. With a contented sigh, Lucy leaned back against the edge and peered up at the sky. Hazy from the tendrils of steam rising all around, the stars still glimmered, and the moon shone down large and full.
“Remember the last time we were here?” Erza suddenly remarked, breaking the stillness of the moment. “The place hardly seems to have changed, despite the years.”
A giggle arose out of Lucy at Erza’s statement. “I dunno... I seem to recall a certain someone trying to get into the hot spring while still in her armor...”
Red seeped into Erza’s cheeks at the mortifying reminder. “...Yes,” she conceded. “Perhaps a lot has changed after all.” She ruminated on that thought for a while. “That was before... the Tower of Heaven, wasn’t it.”
It wasn’t a question, but Lucy nodded anyway. Laying her hand on Erza’s shoulder, she squeezed it gently. “It was.” She left her hand there for a minute, unsure of what else she could say in the sudden melancholy.
“You know,” Erza began, a mischevious note in her voice as she looked at Lucy, “I seem to recall you calling me beautiful back then. Or is that something else that has changed?”
Lucy swallowed thickly. “O-of c-course not!” she protested. Keenly aware that she was still touching Erza’s bare skin (even if it was just her shoulder) Lucy dropped her hand into the water with a small splash. “I-I mean... I still... Erza!” It was her turn to flush, heat rising all the way to her ears.
Erza let out a chuckle. “Why thank you, Lucy,” she said, despite Lucy’s lack of a proper answer.
The teasing in Erza’s voice was almost too much to bear, and Lucy had to forcefully break her gaze away. Looking back towards the entrance, she then peered at Erza’s towel behind them. Maybe it was just the steam in her eyes, but it seemed to her that it was a little bulkier than it should be. “Did... did you bring something along?”
“Astute eye.” Turning around in the water, Erza reached over and lifted the towel’s edge up. Underneath lay a very small sake bottle, and two small sake cups. “I thought, since there were no other visitors around, we might be a little naughty. It is such a nice night, after all.”
Lucy regarded the bottle with suspicion. Neither her nor Erza ever held their alcohol particularly well, nor was it very safe to drink in the hot spring. Then again... Erza was right, it was a lovely night. And it didn’t seem like the bottle held enough liquid to actually do much damage to either of them. “...Alright, just a bit,” she agreed, reaching for a cup.
“Excellent. I shall pour.” Erza picked up the bottle and filled Lucy’s cup before doing the same to her own. “A toast, Lucy?” she prompted, holding up her cup.
“Er.” Not expecting to be put on the spot so suddenly, Lucy found her mind blank. For a long moment, she stared into Erza’s eyes, before twisting to look back up at the night sky. “To the moon,” she said. “She’s still just as beautiful as she was back then.”
She resolutely didn’t look at her companion after uttering those words, but she could hear the smile in Erza’s voice as she replied.
in tune
Yeah no, you'll never see Erza at an acoustic rock concert. Except if that new chick at work she really really likes just happens to be going as well.
— erlu / heartlet.
notes: this was originally written back for femslash february but whatever okay every damn month is femslash february, okay. (i was even late for pride month sighhh)
read on [ao3] [ffn]
Being a girl in love is hard enough, and while Erza is enthralled with being in love again after some misgivings with Gray, she huffs to herself as she admits that things are growing just a little more complicated as she finds herself falling for the new chick at work — Lucy Heartfilia.
Lucy is a sweet kind soul — blond and brown eyed and always announcing a good morning as she came in through the doors with two large coffees in her hands — one for herself, and one for whoever really needed the pick-me-up that day.
And often it was Erza, but only because Erza just happened to learn how to time her arrival at work exactly right so that she would place her lunch in the work refrigerator and come out of the office kitchen to stoop into step with Lucy to grab the coffee and quick company.
But all that aside, this kind of crush is very new to Erza. Lucy isn’t at all the type Erza often fell for. Erza fell for asshole men — the last one, the jackass Gray that, well, was just a jackass — and asshole women — the last one, Mira, which had not gone over well when Erza confessed she was bi.
Lucy is completely different. Lucy is happy and bubbly, and she doesn’t seem to mind that Erza just always happens to arrive in due time to swipe her extra coffee or that Erza always kind of lingers after lunch to squeeze in a few awkward extra sentences of conversation before they both returned to their respective desk spaces or that Erza coincidentally frequents the bathroom at the same time as her.
In fact, Erza thought for a long that maybe Lucy was only being nice and tolerating Erza’s creepiness, but then one night at a company mixer after a few glasses of wine and uninhibited socialization, Lucy began getting incredibly touchy, every now and then running her fingers over Erza’s forearm, and even eventually locking arms with her.
Not that Erza minded, but Erza really couldn’t keep her mind off of just taking Lucy and kissing her right then and there and taking her home straight away. Except that their supervisor also happened to be around at the entire night. And also Erza didn’treally feel proud about making their first date — even if things went along perfectly after — their company mixer.
So as frustrating as it was that Erza could not just make a move on Lucy that entire night, Erza could no longer get past the idea that Lucy just maybe was also secretly attracted to Erza.
And maybe this entire time, Lucy made sure to come into the office at the exact same time every day and just happened to get the coffee the way Erza liked every single morning. And maybe this entire time, Lucy was just eating really slow specifically to wait out everyone else so Erza would stay longer. Maybe this entire time, Lucy was drinking a ton of water and going to the bathroom precisely so she could pass by Erza’s desk, looking for evidence for a woman-loving Erza.
And this entire thing sucks. Mostly because now Erza is actually starting to believe that something more could actually be a possibility. And now Lucy isn’t just a cute crush but a full-on someone for Erza to actively pursue.
The sheer number of hours Erza spent thinking about Lucy is unforgivable. Erza must have lost at least 40 hours of productivity in the past few days just thinking about Lucy’s smile or the way Lucy ever so gracefully picked up a piece of paper that dropped onto the floor.
Yet still, there is always doubt. Maybe Lucy is just one of those girls that had sleepovers with other girls and had full-on conversations with her girl friends in the locker room and went bra shopping with her girl friends and did all these really close girl things with other girls but was not at all attracted to them.
And honestly, Erza isn’t sure if she hoped Lucy was into women or not. She isn’t sure which of the truths would be better for Erza at the end. If Lucy is actually into women, Erza knows that she would absolutely not be able to resist trying to get together with Lucy and eventually probably get her heart broken when she discovers Lucy doesn’t like her that way, but at the same time if Lucy isn’t into women, Erza would remain in this unrequited love for the rest of her life knowing that she would never have a chance because Lucy would never like her in that way.
So, it’s a lose-lose situation.
In fact, this is what Erza is pondering just before Lucy suddenly taps her shoulder.
Erza’s heart jumps out of her chest, and she slowly swivels around, trying her best not to whip Lucy in the face with her ponytail, but more importantly, trying her best to not seem too excited about the fact that Lucy is talking with her at all.
“Hey,” Erza says, giving Lucy as unshaken of a smile as she can.
“How’s your morning been?”
“Good,” Erza laughs softly, struggling to find out what to say aside from asking if Lucy has plans that weekend. “Just really happy that it’s Friday.”
Lucy returns a laugh. “Yeah,” she agrees. “I can’t wait for this weekend. I don’t know if you know about Proposition 13 coming to Magnolia tomorrow night?”
“Proposition 13?” Erza asks.
“Oh,” Lucy says, covering her smile with the tips of her fingertips. “Sorry, they’re a band. Super 90’s but they recently got back together and are still rocking out.”
And it’s that moment when all of Erza’s sensors go off. Erza can no longer deny that Lucy is in fact flirting with her. Three signs: Lucy is asking her about weekend plans. Lucy is asking her if she’s going to concert. Lucy is giving her signals that she wants her to come with her.
Erza has to respond appropriately.
“Oh yeah, Proposition 13!” Erza exclaims, waving her momentary confusion off. “I haven’t heard of them in a while. I love them so much! Yes! I actually already have tickets and I wasn’t sure if anyone I knew was going. Are you going?”
Big lies all around. But never mind that. Lucy is interested in her after all, right?
So this lie, Erza thinks, is totally worth the risk.
Lucy’s eyes brighten. She blinks a few times. “Oh, oh! Yeah! I am!” she exclaims.
Erza takes the opportunity right away. “Do you want to go with me?”
“Of course!” Lucy replies immediately. She gives Erza a big smile. “I’d love to go with you! It’ll be a great bonding time between office colleagues. Maybe you want to meet up somewhere beforehand?”
Bonding time between office colleagues? Is Lucy friendzoning her?
Regardless, Erza sees another opportunity, and she is not letting it go. “Yeah, I was thinking of getting some food before going — maybe you want to meet somewhere to eat and then we can go together?”
“Yeah, sure that works.” Lucy pulls out her phone. “I can’t believe I don’t have your number yet,” she says, scrolling through her screen. She hands her phone to Erza. “Mind typing it in for me?”
Erza is stunned. She can’t believe how well this is going. There is no awkwardness, no hesitation — everything is going exactly the way she wants it to.
This can only mean one thing: Lucy is actually as interested in Erza as Erza is in her.
Gingerly, Erza hands Lucy back her phone. The weight of Lucy’s phone feels so much different than her own, and Lucy has a softer and more gel-life case. “Text me back so I have your number?” she asks Lucy. “And… I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Definitely,” Lucy says, typing away into her phone. “I just sent a message to you. I’ll see you then! We’ll figure out where to eat tomorrow.”
Erza feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. “Yeah, for sure,” she replies, waving a goodbye as Lucy picks herself up from the chair and heads back to her cubicle space. Erza watches her walk all the way to the end of the hall and around the corner, her heart beating fast.
Once Lucy is completely out of sight, Erza frantically waves the computer mouse around to wake her computer up, immediately searching up Proposition 13. She clicks on the first page that comes up, and to her horror, the description is incredibly disappointing.
“Acoustic rock?” she whispers to herself.
This is bad. Not only is acoustic rock not something Erza can see herself jamming out to, but acoustic rock obviously means that the concert would involve a lot of crowd sing-a-long, and Erza has never heard of this whatever until this very moment.
Erza has plenty to learn about Proposition 13, but most importantly, she has a concert ticket to buy.
Flipping up another tab on her computer, she quickly searches for Magnolia tickets for Proposition 13, and she is relieved to see that there are still some tickets left to buy. And even if they’re at ridiculous prices right now, Erza is more than willing to pay a couple of hundred jewels than to let Lucy down.
Once she’s confirmed for the ticket, she gets to work on educating herself — immediately plugging in her headphones to the computer to listen and familiarize herself with Proposition 13.
Settling herself in for a long research session, Erza looks back at her phone, at the message Lucy sent her.
Hi, it’s Lucy! See you tomorrow!
At this, Erza smiles and tucks her phone back into her pocket.
The next time Erza gets up from the seat, it’s already six in the evening. Of course, it’s not like Erza didn’t notice the time — all her co-workers kept walking by to tell her goodbye, distracting her from Proposition 13 and forcing her to flip tabs to something work-related. But Erza is so completely invested in trying to learn all of Proposition 13’s songs — all the meantime, suffering in the genre and in the sappy lyrics — that she barely realized that it was getting so late.
Erza decides to continue her researching in the comfort of her couch. Picking up her stuff, she heads to the elevator, clicking the down button and waiting for the elevator. Her eyes light up when she hears a familiar clacking of heels.
“Oh, hey, Erza,” Lucy says, coming up behind her.
Erza turns around. “Oh, hi,” she greets, watching Lucy come up beside her. “I, uh… I didn’t know you’d still be here this late.”
“Yeah, I had a lot of things to finish up before this weekend,” Lucy explains.
“Same,” Erza replies.
She doesn’t mention she actually didn’t finish anything she was supposed to do that Friday, instead, just listening to Proposition 13 and reading through all the fansites in preparation for tomorrow.
“Um… I was thinking,” Lucy suggests. “Maybe we can go to the café just down Aragon Avenue and then take the train over to the stadium? That’s where I live, but I wasn’t sure if you lived in that area, as well.”
Erza keeps herself from smiling too wide. And now, Lucy is telling her where she lives?!
“Totally works,” Erza promises her, in as calm of a voice as she can muster.
This is working out so much better than Erza would have ever expected.
“So,” Erza says, interrupting what seems like an awkward silence. “You excited for tonight?”
Lucy gives her a nod, taking a bite out of her sandwich. “Hell yeah,” she replies. “What about you?
“Definitely,” Erza responds, unable to help the smile that comes to her lips. God, this girl is so cute, especially when she says the word hell. Erza just can’t get Lucy’s smile out of her head.
The night is going well so far, and the conversation is pleasant. Erza’s learned plenty about Lucy already: Lucy, of course, is vegetarian, which explains her chowing away at a veggie sandwich as opposed to Erza, who is face first in the middle of a burger.
Although Erza must mention that Lucy is dressed in the most casual yet cute outfit ever. Seeing her in casual is relieving to Erza, who spent a very long time in front of the mirror trying on different outfits attempting to get the right dress code for their maybe-date. Erza had to dress well enough to look great in case Lucy was thinking of a date but she also had to keep her outfit low-key in case Lucy wasn’t thinking at all of that kind of date.
At any rate, once Erza saw Lucy in a cute simple top and form-hugging short shorts, Erza internally breathed a sigh of relief because she was pretty much wearing the same thing. And as unclear Lucy’s outfit made the objective of tonight, Lucy looks really nice, and Erza can’t keep her eyes off her.
“I’m hoping they start off with the song Wine-Stained Kisses first,” Lucy says, after a sip of her water. She waggles her eyebrows at Erza. “I heard that’s the song they started with at their concert over in Alvarez and people went wild over it.”
Damn. Lucy really must really love this band. And it’s a good thing Erza did her homework. Erza quickly runs through her head the titles of all the songs she had been playing on repeat since last night. Wine-Stained Kisses. Yes, that one.
“Oh yeah?” she replies. “That would be amazing. I can just imagine the light show that would go with that.”
According to Erza’s research and readthrough of many websites, Proposition 13’s shows often used lights and plenty of smoke.
Lucy’s eyes roll up to the ceiling in imagination. “I can only imagine.” Her eyes snap back to Erza. “I can’t believe we never talked about this before.”
Erza smiles stiffly. It’s probably because Erza didn’t actually know the band before Lucy brought it up, but yeah, she had to agree she and Lucy should have been talking for much longer before all of this.
“Well, I’m glad that we’re spending time together now,” Erza replies, giving her a big smile. “If anything, Proposition 13 brought us together, so that’s another reason to love them.”
“Yeah…” Lucy replies, twirling her hair. Her eyes linger on Erza’s eyes for a little longer than what seems normal to Erza.
Erza’s heart stops. This is the moment, isn’t it? She’s suddenly extremely aware of how close her hand is next to Lucy’s across the table, and how Lucy’s hand is just… waiting for her to place her hand over it. Erza doesn’t take her eyes away from Lucy, but slowly leans forward so she can graze her fingers over Lucy’s hand —
Lucy burps, and then laughs. “Sorry, about the pause,” she giggles. “I was focusing really hard to try to keep that burp in.” She smiles. “But I must have eaten too fast! I got really excited.”
Erza freezes for two seconds, but then starts to laugh. “Oh, haha!” she laughs. “That’s fine,” she says.
She loves this. She loves all of this. Spending time with Lucy. Lucy’s so funny, nice, genuine, and real.
But she still hasn’t figured out what to make of this whole situation. Every time Erza is convinced that Lucy like likes her, something else happens that makes Erza doubt it all over again.
Eventually, the two of them split the check and call a ride to get them to the concert.
In the back of the car seat, Lucy continues to babble on about her excitement about Proposition 13, but all the words just pass through Erza’s ears. She’s distracted with every bump along the Magnolia’s shitty Main Street — not because she’s never driven over these potholes herself in her own car on the way to work, but because every now and then, Erza’s hand brushes over Lucy’s arm.
And sometimes, Lucy doesn’t seem to notice at all.
Of course, by the time they get to the stadium, the concert is a complete mess already.
Lucy and Erza try to squeeze in as close as possible to the platform, and in no time, they are completely swallowed into the crowd of band-crazy people. Lucy is great at weaving between the many exhilarated and sweaty bodies, and Erza starts getting anxious that she might lose her. Lucy isn’t that tall, and even while Erza wouldn’t miss Lucy’s golden hair for anything, Erza still finds it hard to keep up.
Lucy — as kind and considerate as ever — keeps looking back to check on Erza, making sure Erza is never more than an arm’s reach away. She flashes a smile back at Erza with every line of people they get passed. The deafening sounds of screaming fans begin to fade, and soon all Erza can hear is the grin on Lucy’s lips.
“Come on,” she encourages, rolling her eyes when seeing Erza fall back once more. “You’re holding us both up!”
With that, she reaches back and grabs Erza’s hand in hers, weaving their hands together.
Erza fights back a blush over her cheeks, suddenly grateful about the wash of red light the band is emitting from the stage.
Lucy’s hand feels just right in hers, and Lucy holds on so tightly that for a moment, Erza feels like Lucy’s hand has belonged in hers the entire time.
Just as they find a spot in the crowd that can fit the two of them side-by-side, the lead guitarist jumps out onto stage, yelling into the microphone and strumming a chord, riling up the crowd and officially starting the show.
As everyone around them explodes into screaming exuberance, Erza looks over to Lucy.
Lucy smiles back, mouthing unheard words to Erza. She then faces the stage again, raising her fist into the air and screaming right along with the rest of the crowd, her other hand still securely entwined with Erza’s.
Erza takes another few seconds to watch how bright Lucy’s face turns as the music starts. A thrum vibrates hard at the center of Erza’s chest, and she’s not sure if it’s the melody of the upcoming song or the blossoming of her growing feelings.
Erza is having fun — she truly is.
But by the fifth song, Erza’s conscience starts itching at her.
She hates pretending to be singing along whenever Lucy looks in her direction, and she hates giving Lucy the biggest smile like she’s as thrilled about the band as she is about Lucy.
Lucy is so into Propostion 13, and with every passing minute, it feels less and less comfortable to have taken advantage of Lucy’s love for the band to try to snag a date with her. It’s not fair, and it’s not right, and Erza is starting to confuse the feelings of her inevitable crush with Lucy, the rationalizing of figuring out what Lucy wants with her, and this guilt she increasingly has about the whole situation.
An overwhelming desire to just tell Lucy everything — her long-time crush and her lying about Proposition 13, down to her making sure to come into work at the same time as Lucy to grab the spare coffee and going to lunch whenever she saw Lucy was going — fills Erza’s chest. But at the same time, the last thing she wants is Lucy thinking differently of her, that she had been manipulative all along.
On the other hand, this is exactly what Erza is, and it’s not right for her to keep up this front forever.
Erza feels Lucy tug at her hand.
She looks up at her, and Lucy says something to Erza, her eyes concerned.
Erza can’t make out at all what Lucy is saying. Erza furrows her eyebrows, shaking her head.
Lucy tries again, but Erza signals to her once more that she can’t hear a thing. Finally, Lucy sighs and looks back behind them, before walking her completely out of the crowd.
They walk until Erza can hear Lucy’s footsteps next to hers.
“Hey,” Lucy asks. “What’s wrong?”
Lucy’s hand is still wrapped around Erza’s. Erza slowly takes her hand back to cross her arms together.
“Oh, nothing,” Erza replies, finding herself backing out of her decision to just confess everything. “I don’t know why you wanted to talk out here.”
Lucy looks at her weirdly. “No, I don’t think you’re telling me the truth.”
Erza meets Lucy’s eyes, her mouth opening and closing, mustering up the courage she needs. She finally closes her eyes and inhales sharply—
“No. I’m not,” she confesses.
Lucy looks up at Erza, attention ready.
“Honestly, I… don’t really know the lyrics to any of these songs,” Erza continues, stumbling over her words. “I mean, I know some of them but… mostly I’m just pretending.”
She watches Lucy’s eyes, watching any sign of upset. However betrayed Lucy may feel about this, Erza would completely understand and would deserve all the consequences.
Lucy looks at her confusedly. “What?” she exclaims, baffled. “I’ve been listening to you yell out the lyrics! You know more than I do.”
Erza gives her a crooked smile. “Well… that’s because I studied all of them really hard before coming here.”
Lucy’s smile grows wider. “You what?” Then she cackles hard and loud, up until the point she starts wheezing, and Erza can’t help but fall in love head over heels with her laugh. “You studied for this?” She snorts, trying to keep in laughter, and Erza resists the urge to take her by the arms and just squeeze her.
Well now, Erza can’t deny being so lame, so now she just has to roll with it and come out with the rest of the truth. “I just…” she explains. “I actually don’t know this band at all and I don’t like their music and I really just came out here because I saw you were really excited about the band and I wanted to come here with you.”
Lucy shakes her head, the corners of her mouth still stretched high from the big smile on her face. “And here I was, thinking you actually really loved this band and putting myself in this situation to go with you! I was fooled by your acting this whole time!”
This takes Erza by complete surprise. “Wait what?”
“Honestly, I was just…” and here, a pink flush covers Lucy’s cheeks — and the two of them are definitely far enough away from the red light from the stage. “I was just trying to get to know you better so I thought I would see if you were into this band event that was happening this weekend.” She pauses, rephrasing. “Well actually, if you hadn’t heard about the band, I was going to just ask if you were doing anything this weekend and if you wanted to hang out anyway.”
Erza blinks. Oh.
Oh.
“And then you said that you had tickets already so… I thought maybe it would be fun to see you in action, even if I didn’t know the band.”
Suddenly, Erza does distinctly remember that she had been the one to make up a huge story about already having tickets. “Ah,” she says, realizing she shot herself in the foot.
“Well,” Lucy continues, smiling wryly. “I guess we’re hanging out anyway — even if at a concert for a band we’re not that into.”
“You really got me, then,” Erza replies with an embarrassed smile.
Lucy smiles, and then she tilts her head to Erza.
“So…” Lucy suggests, with a bite of her bottom lip. “What do you think about skipping the rest of this concert and just hanging out for the rest of the day?”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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rating: m
pairing: erza/lucy
genre: here
for: ahumanintraining
found: ao3 and ff.n
sum: It's when you give up on wanting someone all to yourself so you settle for what you can get. (friends with benefits au)
Erza never says a name. Sometimes, Lucy thinks when Erza's mouth opens, she will call out for who she really wants in bed with her. Jellal, Jellal, Jellal, Erza will chant, just because she can't help it anymore and Lucy knows Erza is thinking about him, and Erza knows Lucy knows but the both of them never say anything about it, anyway.
Maybe if Lucy is someone kinder, or someone more foolish as to step aside for a fucking ghost of a man, she'll let Erza say it. Cry out his name, Lucy will urge, close your eyes real tight and imagine he's the one with his fingers in your cunt and his mouth on your breast. If Lucy is stronger than the fragile little heart that she is, she might just allow it. If she doesn't love Erza with the force of supernovas as she does, she might just tell her, go say his name, baby, I don't mind, even when she does.
But,
For some glorious and perhaps merciful occurrence, Jellal's name is not uttered. Instead, Erza exhales: it's drawn out, tired, thankful and it spells a whole script of pleasure. It's the deep kind of sigh that makes her belly quiver and her legs shake. Her back is arched so her nipples point skyward but with that breath her spine relaxes until she is supine on the mattress, molten from orgasm and soft with delight.
It's the kind of outbreath that is freed in place of another lover's name. Lucy doesn't mind, or maybe she's just lost the sense to have all of Erza to herself.
Talk afterwards is always sparse. Most days the room is so palpable with shame that it leaves no room for conversation to flow. The two girls get dressed, faced away from each other as if they haven't spent the past moments devouring each square inch of skin the other had; as if they haven't used the bodies they refused to look at as some convoluted opioid for the heart.
It's rare that they luxuriate in bed like this, inhaling the scent of sweat and musk off Lucy's downy sheets. Erza has not moved from her spot by the headboard and Lucy lays on her front, parallel to her. It's rare that they might talk so they will talk, Lucy decides.
"Do you remember that scene from Deathly Hallows? When Ron left and Hermione was grieving?" Lucy's voice is thin as she asks. She and Erza loved Harry Potter as children. She thinks back on it now, after years of shelving it at the back of her mind. For a moment she tells herself how odd it is, to rabidly love something and have that passion temper into tepidness over time. She can't even recall when she stopped the cycle of reading the books over and over again or when Erza stopped her yearly Hogwarts-themed birthday parties. Maybe it was during college when there was no room to indulge happiness. Maybe it was when they started working and sleep became a priority over books. Maybe it was when they started dating people and they started changing into different people.
"The three of them were too young to deal with all of that." Is what Erza choses to say.
"Right. Ron wore that Horcrux around his neck and it pushed him over the edge." Lucy feels bad about not remembering the details better. What had been said in that tent? What had made the faces of three teenagers contort in anguish? All Lucy can remember is how she had felt about that moment. "He left and Hermione mourned. Harry made her dance with him. They laughed again, after so long."
"Yeah." Erza's answer is short, which begs the question if she knows where this conversation is heading, what it really means.
"How did you think Harry felt back then?" Lucy's fingers twists in the sheets, a low-burning anxiety churning behind her chest cavity for a reason she can't name.
"I don't know, Lucy. I still rather feel worse for Ron at this point."
One time, during a similar scenario that is, the two of them having sex because life isn't pleasant Lucy says I love you.
She doesn't mean to, and immediately, she regrets it. Today it's Erza with her face between Lucy's legs and at the peak of pleasure, Lucy says the damned words.
She's always been noisy in bed. Where Erza gasps and moans and never articulates her thrill, Lucy is a practician of positive reinforcement. But calls to god or breathy yes' turn into what's forbidden. She only realizes what she's done when Erza tenses up, brows furrowed and shoulders hunched.
Immediately, Lucy takes it back: "That's not-" or so she means to continue but Erza does, too. With a renewed vigor Erza finishes the job of eating Lucy out and for a while, Lucy forgets her careless candor.
Though after that, when Erza leaves, it's the last time Lucy sees her.
It's been days and there's no sign of the redhead come knocking on her door. Lucy's calls are collected by an automated voicemail so she resorts to texts, and over the course of 3 weeks, they are as follow:
I didn't mean to say that. I was caught up in the heat of the moment.
I didn't mean it.
I'm sorry.
Come back.
Coward.
Erza never replies. And while it hurts to give up, it did hurt more when she was trying too hard. And so Lucy doesn't bother anymore.
“I believe that job went very well. Don’t you think so, Lucy?”
The blonde woman groaned at her companion’s assessment of what had happened. “If by well, you mean that we completely wrecked the joint to the point where I’m going to be in the red again for this month’s expenses... then yes. It went... as well as jobs normally go for our team.”
“I disagree. There was something different this time.”
Lucy glanced over at Erza, and raised an eyebrow. “Oh? How was it different this time?”
“The boys weren’t with us.”
“...True,” Lucy had to allow. Although, it was somehow more distressing that her and Erza had managed the typical Team Natsu level of destruction all on their own.
Erza nodded firmly. “The job did go south there for a bit when our cover was blown, I’ll admit.” She frowned. “I cannot imagine how they saw through our acting skills. I thought our performance was worthy of the stage, don’t you, Lucy?”
Lucy didn’t have the heart to tell Erza that it was the redhead’s horrible acting skills that had given them away. That, and it didn’t help when Erza had greeted Lucy in the illegal fighting ring with, “Fight me, you attractive stranger,” thereby reducing the blonde to a stuttering, blushing mess, while she blubbered out vague protests. Accidentally dropping Erza’s real name in the process.
“Yup. It sure was, Erza.”
Although, if Erza was still unaware of Lucy’s enormous crush on her... then Lucy had to say that her acting skills were very fine, indeed.
Very sorry for how late this is. I think this was the first time this pairing has ever fought me.
I'm working hard to get caught up!
I absolutely love fics where Erza dances like an actual human being, but I found this far more amusing to imagine.
Armada Day 13:
Murder On The Dance Floor
Erza x Lucy
Dread filled Lucy as as she gazed upon the still forms of her guild mates, lying prone upon the floor. The few with incredible constitution who had managed to remain standing did so while tottering unsteadily. Victims, all, of a cruel monster who knew not of mercy. The only survivor to escape relatively unscathed was Freed - and Lucy suspected the heavy and liberal use of enchantments on his part to achieve this great feat (for not even Vijeeter, master of all things dance, was unaffected).
Cold, heavy metal touched her shoulder, eliciting a half-muffled shriek from the blonde at the unexpected weight. Turning her head, Lucy peered into the eager, sparkling brown eyes that spelled out her demise.
"Lucy," her teammate began with a smile, "would you care to dance?"
To her horror, Lucy found herself unable to refuse the armored mage's earnest request. Erza's enthusiasm was an infectious thing, and that smile of hers was doing something heinous to Lucy's insides even before taking a turn on the dance floor. So what did it matter if she got nauseous due to Erza's... unique dance style?
With a nervous laugh, she nodded. "I feel a bit like a princess being asked by a knight!" she joked.
Erza's smile fell, and with it, Lucy's heart did as well. Oh no... had she offended her?
"Full armor would be hard to dance in," Erza suddenly stated, her expression intense. "But if you're a princess then..." Magic emanated from Erza's form, saturating the air with light. When the brightness faded, Erza stood before Lucy in...
"...Prince Frederick?!" Lucy squeaked. She was torn between amusement at the fact that Erza had kept the outfit, and mild horror at the fact that Erza had kept the outfit. Though it really shouldn't be surprising, Lucy realized, given the redheaded woman's hoarder tendencies. Although, she had honestly never expected to see that particular garment ever again, and would have been quite happy to relegate the memories associated with it to a distant, far-gone past.
Her teammate appeared to disagree with that sentiment. "Yes. I thought since I don't want to crush your feet while dancing in armor, a prince would be the next best thing to a knight."
Giggles bubbled up inside of Lucy at Erza's earnestness. "So a prince is lower than a knight, now?"
Erza nodded, an odd gleam in her eyes. "Knights get to protect their princesses."
Heat crept into Lucy's face at Erza's words. "Oh really? Guess I can't argue with that logic!"
This time, Erza bowed low, her crimson ponytail falling over one shoulder and her gloved hand outstretched to Lucy. "So... my princess. Might this knight in princely garb escort you onto the dance floor?"
Although she was no stranger to extravagant and lavish dance requests - having suffered through many a formal party growing up - Lucy couldn't help but be flustered Erza's invitation. Maybe because it was Erza, and what seemed cheesy for others came as natural as breathing to her, and she bore the usually trite customs and words with a sincerity that endeared rather than repulsed.
So Lucy placed her hand on Erza's. "I would be delighted to have this dance."
Erza's answering, soft smile took Lucy's breath away.
Sadly, none of this improved Erza's actual ability to dance.
Though Lucy could only call it half the source of her racing heartbeat.
