#hearthyaps

Sae hates how independent you can get, or at least in the way you try to be. Your eyes are trained onto the drink in your hand, glossy yet unwavering with your lips thinned into a quivering line. Despite the bomb-drop of a question you've placed in the air, your cheeks are firmly upturned.

‘Sae, do you think I'm that horrible of a person?’

Perhaps if you were to ask a version of Sae, the one that's much softer around the cheeks and bangs still stuck down to his forehead, he would've dismissed the idea as such a pain. There's no use in entertaining the tepid emotions and opinions of others when you still have your goals ahead of you.

Even then, his teal eyes drift to your face. It nearly reminds him of Rin as a child with the way snot slowly dribbles down your nose and onto your lips, glossing in sticky patches that would be enough to make the average person flinch a little. (He swears it's the only reason he's desensitized to it, it's why it's so easy to cradle your palm against his own like this.)

Sae knows he's not the best with words, ‘cold and sharp around the edges’, they'd say. It's how he'd grown to stop caring of outside opinions, after all. But, he also knows it's not so easy for you, as much as he wishes he could mend your rabbit-heart into that of steel. And so, he does what he's best at.

"I don't think you are.” His warm touch squeezes your fingers gently.

The windows are shut firmly in Sae’s apartment, but the month is melting closer to November, which means the winds are getting harsher. Despite that, the grating cold of autumn had never felt more unnoticeable than at this very moment.

Your tears escape onto your cheeks as you finally blink, just as your smile now reaches your eyes. There's something about knowing Sae’s honest nature that has your shoulders relaxed. While it might've been scary at first to ask him for reassurance, you appreciate the certainty of his words, the weight of his feelings. Perhaps that's all you've wanted, all you've ever needed— was for someone to be sure of you.

—

note: kind of a vent drabble or something hahaha. i kind of worry sometimes that sae (or well the rest of my faves) wouldn't even like me because it's troublesome, but then i remember he’s not a halfbaked loser. and for a man like him, loving me will never be too much. or something? (coping).

semi-hiatus for a bit. i still have plenty of kinktober drafts I'll be finishing up but rn im just blerghhhh + midterm exams.