#headcanons;

Stolen from @heirtoagni ❤️ Tagging: @piousolus (& Inu), @natureswarden (& Nabooru), @thuganomxcs (& Trunks), @rickv-786, @flamesofavernus, @corvus--coraxx, @harpershigh, @asmaticbomb, and whoever else wants to do this :)

So she’s always confused by peoples reaction when she casually mentions “she’s had three at once” or some other number, in conversation when it comes up. Her mind always drifts to fights, because why would someone ask about the other meaning? She still has no idea. No ones explained it’s true meaning.

If it ever was, she’d be mortified by the fact people thought she’s taken multiple partners at once, or in general. Miko is rather reserved, her touch aversion rather apparent. She can barely handle one person, in both conversation and likewise, so having more than one at once? It’s doable sure but oh boy.

They used to speak both french and english at home but she forgot french after the car crash. Given the proximity with french speakers in her unlife, I like to think it came back almost all at once after she was turned.

𝖧𝖮𝖶   𝖣𝖮𝖤𝖲   𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱   𝖬𝖴𝖲𝖤   𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖣𝖫𝖤   𝖤𝖬𝖮𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭𝖲?   |   |   |   BOLD   WHAT   OFTEN   APPLIES   .   ITALICISE   WHAT   SOMETIMES   APPLIES   .

ANGER.   jaw   clenching,   hands   balling   into   fists,   teeth   grinding,   yelling,   going   nonverbal,   stuttering   speech,   rushed   speech,   slow   concise   speech,   rambling,   quiet,   arms   crossing,   shaking   head,   tearing   up,   animated,   expressionless,   projects,   internalizes,   vents,   withdraws,   passive   aggressive,   direct,   physical   outbursts,   verbal   outbursts.

JOY.   easy   smiles,   fighting   back   grins,   suppressed   laughter,   loud   laughter,   giggles,   chuckling,   smirks,   whole   body   laughs,   covers   mouth   when   laughing,   throws   head   back   when   laughing,   slaps   leg,   touches   people   around   them   when   laughing,   looks   down   when   laughing,   looks   for   eye   contact   when   laughing,   sparkling   eyes,   bubbly   happiness,   quiet   subtle   happiness,   obnoxious   happiness,   wants   to   spread   joy,   quietly   savors   joy.

SADNESS   /   CRYING.   bottling   it   up,   seeks   distractions,   wallows,   meditates   &   processes,   avoidance,   seeks   out   comfort,   withdraws,   talks   it   out,   internalizes   it,   sad   smiles,   depression   naps,   uses   alcohol,   uses   drugs,   seeks   out   sources   of   joy,   fidgets   with   sentimental   item,   sits   in   silence,   broods,   gets   moody,   wants   someone   to   share   the   misery,   tries   to   hide   negative   emotions,   nurtures   others   to   make   themselves   feel   better.

EMBARRASSMENT.   shame,   blushing,   looking   away,   rubbing   at   back   of   head,   covering   face,   laughing   nervously,   laughs   it   off,   overthinks,   lets   it   go,   self-deprecating   humor,   deflects,   gets   irritated,   smiles,   withdraws,   crossing   arms   over   stomach,   crossing   arms   over   chest,   hands   in   pockets,   shoulders   sinking,   shrugs,   falling   into   silence   until   comfortable   again,   talking   a   lot   to   compensate.

GUILT.   avoiding   eye   contact,   shoulders   sinking   low,   head   hanging   down,   crying,   chest   aches,   lashes   out,   internalizes,   apologizes,   deflects,   communicates,   withdraws,   grand   gestures   for   forgiveness,   accepts   fault   easily,   punishes   themselves,   martyrdom,   victim   complex,   over-active   guilt   complex,   healthy   conscience,   internalizes   even   after   forgiveness,   seeking   redemption,   moves   on   easily,   denial,   lack   of   guilt/conscience,   sorry   they   got   caught   more   than   caused   harm,   can’t   handle   knowing   they   hurt   others.

tagged by: @khrused tysm!! ❤️

As the Trauma Team medical docs define it, cyberpsychosis is a collective term for all psychotic and anxiety-related personality disorders caused by hardware implanted in the body and any and all behavioral mods, including software.

How do you get cyberpsychosis?

People seem divided on whether it's caused exclusively by an excess of cyber implants, or if victims of cyberpsychosis are simply people with severe mental illness whose symptoms are then blamed on their cyberware by the general public.

This is because fandoms struggle to grasp nuance.

Cyberpsychosis is similar to real world psychosis; some people are more susceptible to it than others, typically due to underlying mental illnesses, but it can be triggered or worsened by external factors. Similar to how someone susceptible to psychosis in real life can have no symptoms of psychosis until drug use, or lack of sleep, or a head injury, or any number of things, trigger the disorder and act as “the final straw,” people in 2077 who are susceptible can have no symptoms until cyberware triggers the disorder.

There's discussion in the fandom of the concept of cyberpsychosis changing between the TTRPG and 2077, but did it really change? Or did cyberware technology and the prevention of cyberpsychosis improve between 2020 and 2077? As one reddit user states, “in 2077, defective or sabotaged cyberware can still cause cyberpsychosis; in 2020, most cyberware was “defective” by the standards of 2077.” To understand Johnny's cyberpsychosis, we have to go way back- he got his arm in 2005-ish. It was very, very, early cyberware.

Another reddit user points out “a lot of the soldiers at the time were glorified test subjects for highly experimental chrome. like it may be above top shelf but also completely fry your brain type shit and Johnnys arm was some of that tech.”

So, what makes someone susceptible to cyberpsychosis?

Mike Pondsmith says:

First of all, Cyberpsychosis is a disorder that in part depends on the subject's overall internal susceptibility. Just like every person who drinks a lot at parties doesn't end up an alcoholic in the gutter, not everyone who gets loaded up on cyberware is going to automatically go cyberpsycho. You have to have an inherent susceptibility, which (in the TRPG) is represented by the player's Humanity Stat. Humanity is not just a measure of one aspect of personality, but an overall measure of several elements including the subject's ability to emphasize and relate with others, their ability to absorb and rebound from mental and physical stressors, their ability to show compassion and flexibility to others, and whether they are able to balance their worldview through other methods.

So… low empathy, primarily. Something that can be caused by several mental disorders, including ones that Johnny likely has, such as NPD and ASPD. He's also fairly desensitized to death and violence due to his experiences in the war, something he had no time to cope with before receiving his cybernetic arm.

What are the symptoms of cyberpsychosis?

Symptoms sourced from various places include:

hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, suspicion, dissociation, depersonalization, mood swings, low empathy/low remorse, aggression, impulsive/reckless actions, withdrawal from social interactions, body dystopia, seizures/tremors, sleep disturbances, pain/discomfort, difficult distinguishing what is real, belief that they are being controlled by machines, loss of sense of self, and fragmentation of personality.

Johnny checks just about every box and, while a good chunk of these symptoms overlap with his underlying mental illnesses, they are very much exacerbated by the cyberpsychosis. I would even go so far as to say that having many of these symptoms to begin with has made him more able to be functional despite his cyberpsychosis, as a lot of the symptoms are things he'd already learned to live with, to a lesser degree.

How does cyberpsychosis affect a person?

The symptoms list sort of speaks for itself. But, with Johnny specifically, it’s exacerbated many of his existing conditions. The condition has made his paranoia much worse than it would've otherwise been, though he already had PTSD and paranoia. It makes it harder for him to get a grasp on reality.

He's always had a short temper and mood swings; this is worse, thanks to the cyberpsychosis. He gets set off quicker and it's harder to calm him back down. His increased paranoia and poor grasp on reality means he gets set off over nothing- you don't have to make a misstep, he just has to take something you said the wrong way, or come up with an entire made up scenario of something he's sure you're lying about and hiding from him. He has a chip on his shoulder, and the cyberpsychosis makes it impossible for him to see when he's being unreasonable and only hearing/seeing what will validate his existing worldview (i.e., that everyone is out to get him.)

What does this mean for Johnny once he's an engram?

Once he's an engram, his arm is no longer attacking his brain. But, it's like how real life mental illnesses are treated by medication plus often therapy, learning coping mechanisms, and unlearning unhealthy thought processes. Johnny as an engram is, essentially, medicated. This helps a lot with his delusions and temper. But, he still has decades of learned behaviors and thought processes, things that originally sprouted up because of the cyberpsychosis, that he hasn't necessarily unlearned. He's better, but he isn't perfect by any means. He's still unwell. But, he's able to try to learn and heal without being in a fog of cyberpsychosis fully cutting him off from any hope of recovery.