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The way I would have loved Lloyd to have some sort of sentimental toy or stuffy but knowing that if he ever had it, it probably got ripped up/destroyed by the other students growing up and I'm just sitting here like... he deserved some toys, man.
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MUSE BODY LANGUAGE
bold-italic: all the time / bold: most of the time / italic: sometimes / strike: never
DEFENSIVENESS : arms crossed on chest // crossing legs // fist-like gestures // pointing index finger // karate chops // stiffening of shoulders // tense posture // curling of lip // baring of teeth
REFLECTIVE : hand-to-face gestures // head tilted // stroking chin // peering over glasses // taking glasses off โ cleaning // putting earpiece of glasses in mouth // pipe smoker gestures // hand to the bridge of the nose // pursed lips // knitted brows
SUSPICION : arms crossed // sideways glance // touching or rubbing nose // rubbing eyes // hands resting on weapon // brows raising // lips pressing into a thin line // strict, unwavering eye contact // wrinkling of nose
OPENNESS & COOPERATION : open hands // upper body in sprinters position // leaning in closely // sitting on the edge of a chair // hand-to-face gestures // unbuttoned coat hoodie // tilted head // slacked shoulders // droopy /relaxed posture // feet pointed outward // palms flat and facing outward
CONFIDENCE : hands behind back // hands on lapels of coat // steepled hands // baring teeth in a grin // rolling shoulders // tipping head back but maintaining eye contact // chest puffed up // shoulders back // arms folded just above navel
INSECURITY & ANXIETY : chewing pen or pencil // rubbing thumb over opposite thumb // biting fingernails // hands in pockets // elbow bent // closed gestures // clearing throat // โ whew โ sound // picking or pinching flesh // fidgeting in chair // hand covering mouth whilst speaking // poor eye contact // tugging at pants whilst seated // jingling money in pockets // tugging at ear // perspiring hands // playing with hair // swaying // playing with pointer / marker // smacking lips // sighing // rocking on balls of feet // flexing fingers sporadically
FRUSTRATION : short breaths // โ tsk โ sounds // tightly-clenched hands // fist-like gestures // pointing index finger // running hand through hair // rubbing back of neck // snarling // revealing teeth / grimacing // sharp-eyed glowers with notable tension in the brows // shoulders back, head up - defensive posturing // clenching of jaw / grinding teeth // nostrils flaring // heavy exhales
tagged by: @tightenshold
tagging: @melodysian, @priioratus, @porpomuses, and you!
๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ ?
melancholy
In longing, you are melancholy. You feel deeply and quietly, the feeling of yearning constant, like your own personal raincloud over your head that rains cold and collects in your heart, sometimes filling to overflow. The feeling follows you around and you push it away, but its always just a step behind; when it catches up to you, it turns your expression from a bright smile to a brief look down and your lips pulled into a kind of grimace. You bite your lip to break the look and hope no one notices. But secretly you hope someone did. You know this feeling is a creation of your own mind but you just can't shake it, and in some ways, you don't even want to. You know in your head what you desire is doubtful, but in your heart you don't want to give it up. The feeling is close to sadness but it's deeper, more meaningful than that. It pulls at your gut in a way that could bring you close to tears with a mere thought of that which you seek. Be strong my love, your time will come.
// Something's so funny to me over the thought that Lloyd has tried to grow a beard but his hair is too light and the growth is too patchy to grow a good one. So he's just forever baby faced. He has yet to accept it but it's reality for him-
๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐จ๐ซ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐?
Chiffon
stone walls, sweaters, moths, dusty lace, animal tracks, incense, throw pillows. your essence is chiffon: your soft heart disarms those who meet you. you willingly swallow your feelings for everyone else; it is easier to hide your sensitivity. you may be a mirror, reflecting the best back at others, and not knowing quite who you are inside. you are the compromiser. you are the recaster. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of ashen, hickory, brown, and grey, who act with patience. you are also drawn to the cheerful orchid and honey, who will help you grow and discover what actually makes you happy. however, you may struggle to get along with the wild-hearted personalities of mauve and terracotta who act on their whims.
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I think Lloyd in general experiences a lot of nightmares, but I'd say some of the worst ones involved losing his friends or where he feels controlled by Harumi or Morro. The most intense ones would happen during the calm after the events, eventually lessening to just nightmares that he could wake up to and go back to sleep... or be able to survive that dream until morning.
Dreams are often abstract and/or wildly vivid, but they do keep the constant of him waking up with his heart beating wildly in a near cold sweat. For the most part he ends up forgetting what that dream was about, but there are certainly a few that have left an impression on him for a while.
He's not... the most open about those dreams. Not usually anyway. If he's asked about them, he'll make a habit of downplaying what he dreamt (he doesn't outright lie, but may lie by omission). If in absolute distress, he'll talk to his uncle about it if awake, or one of the Ninja (most likely Cole if not Kai or Nya). Otherwise, he just finds a way to calm himself down. It might be making tea shakily at 2 in the morning to pacing around the courtyard until he feels tired again to just letting himself lie there on his bed until he can come to his senses. He has woken up crying. He has woken screaming. He has woken up absolutely silent/paralyzed briefly. There's never a real consistency with how he wakes up.
He is usually the last one to sleep in group settings. And tries to be the first one awake (though Zane often beats him to the punch). He just doesn't like the idea of his family finding him in distress. He wants to be fine. He just doesn't know how to make them go away. (and its not really possible given how stressful his life is.)
He also has dreams about his school days, his bullying, being unable to find his mother, harming his father or his father harming him, and more abstract dreams like falling, drowning, and being chased.
Post-Merge dreams have a mix of mysticism to them, as he becomes the conduit of the Source Dragon of Life. Due to the new, raw powers he possesses, any visions he receives from them through dreams actually hinder his rest greatly. He is often left stressed out and starts to make him develop insomnia/exhaustion because of it. It does ease only slightly when speaking to Rontu and Egalt, but not for very long.
Post DR S2 gives him a lot of nightmares about his failure with Arin. Again, causing a wave of exhaustion but persistence to keep up with the missions and responsibilities they need to take care of.
All this to say there are very few times he has good dreams or dreamless nights. He doesn't like to talk about them, but would if he ended up being spotted at 3 am in the morning looking like he might have a mental break over how little sleep he's gotten.
did this drabble on a whim. no editing/revisions when i finished this like last week or formatting but-
convo for lloyd & zane at some point that I feel like would happen. as a leader needing to check on him and a guy who just lived through the horrors of his actions that he wasn't able to control.
// thinking how in DR S4 near the end when Lloyd's fighting Beatrix, she makes the comment that no normal person could withstand a blow from him in his draconus form and I just want to take a moment and appreciate the fact that he has the capacity to just one-shot someone now.
