#havenprotected

          it had only been a small bump, thankfully. eleanor knew she shouldn’t care so many things at once, but she had so much to do ( and certainly didn’t want to waste any time before her memories started trying to fade on her again ). she manages to catch herself before she can fall, but she can still feel ryan’s hand on her arm regardless.

          she’s not used to that. how many people had actually been there for her prior to arriving in haven? most foster parents and fellow kids in the system she’d warded off after freaking out on them. none of it was ever intentional, of course... alex hadn’t been able to control it. anyone who she actually did manage to keep in her corner were ripped away soon enough- be it because of her own doing or something else. she wasn’t used to haven’s sense of community.

          especially with ryan. with everything that happened, she wasn’t sure if he’d ever wanna be around her again. jed is his dad, after all... she’d never expect him to choose her over his own father... so picture her surprise to find him at her door, pulling her in for a hug, and offering his apologies. she couldn’t hold anything against him. he hadn’t done anything wrong.

          he was here for her, and she needed him. she craved the comfort, eating up as much of it as she could gain from him.

          out of the six scars, three have faded so much that they’re hardly noticeable, two can only really be seen when you look hard enough, and one will never fade as effectively as the others. she can feel the slow strokes of the soft padding of ryan’s thumb as he continues to trace over the jagged spot of skin over and over and over... she usually hated to think about it, absolutely hated the sight of it, and always wished it wasn’t there, but the feeling of ryan’s thumb near her temple is so soothing and she finds herself fighting to stay awake as they lay there.

          she can only imagine how ryan must feel upon taking notice ( once again ) of her scar, knowing that he’s had to’ve noticed millions of times prior to now. it’s an everlasting reminder of jed, and alex doesn’t know who she feels worse for: herself or ryan.

          the snow crunches beneath her feet, and she’s pretty sure she’s nearly busted her ass at least ten times now, as she tries to keep up with ryan’s precise, long strides. he’s at least four or five inches taller than her with legs almost twice as long as hers. she knows that this kind of weather is probably second nature to him, and she knows that he’s used to coming out here on his own, but she still wishes that he’d slow down and accommodate for her less experienced self.

          she’d reach out and grab his arm if not for the fact that she’s too busy trying to hug herself for warmth. she keeps trying to tell herself that moving to colorado wasn’t a bad idea, and that she’s happier here than she’d ever been if she had stayed in portland. but the winter weather in oregon didn’t feel anything like her first winter here.

          when she opened her door, she hadn’t been expecting to see ryan standing there, much less with a bouquet of flowers. she just stares at him for a moment, surprised, brow furrowing slightly.

          “ um... y’know, you could’ve just texted me, right? ” even if it’s nowhere near as romantic by any means. but they weren’t exactly on the greatest of terms either. not since she fucked up and accidentally elbowed him in the face a few days ago. they hadn’t really spoken since, and now all of a sudden, here ryan was, at her door, with flowers. maybe it was his turn to keep lethe flowers in business since gabe wasn’t around to do it anymore.

          she still didn’t understand why he was the one apologizing to her. it had been her fault, and to her credit, she’d tried to apologize, but it wasn’t enough and with how upset he’d gotten with her, she figured she’d give him the space he needed. she thought he’d stay upset with her longer than this. and now things were awkward.