Have you gotten creepy at The Haunted 2? Final week on view at @hivegallery - check this preview featuring the #ghosthost voice of @ajdanna and images from @darlingmonster9 @kimykask with @sincerelyyourghost providing opening nite scared courtesy of @metaforyou See work by @anitasparklebeshirs @madartistlydia @lauren_fairchild_art @michaeltheearl @fearsomebeast @tarantula_garden @thehellboundhome @carriehudson @art_by_maribel @kimykask @stephanieinagaki @babyfaceoneill @drawthelineart @mayapeterpaulart @boardtique @davidrxv @nrbrelic @theartofhorror @magicmakerdreamweaver @davevanpatten @starskeesuave + more! - - #haunted2 #hauntedmansion #immersiveart #welcomefoolishmortals #hauntedartshow #bradburyandbradbury #ghoulery #finalrockingplace #mastergracey #miyudecay #oddities #spookyart (at The Hive Gallery and Studios) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Ni-xwBazL/?igshid=1n1pl1mxidnhb
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It took me a few days to snap out of the trance Mercedes had put me in, but even then it was hard to concentrate on anything other than the paper she had left me. I felt like I was only seeing the words on each page as opposed to reading them and let the book slide out of my hands and onto the floor.
Why did they give me up?
Every piece of paper I started writing on ended up covered with cross-outs, torn from the notebook, crumpled into a ball and thrown across the room.
Didnât they care?
Obviously not.
I had only written three words and was already crossing them out. I couldnât focus. Usually writing helps ease my mind and here I was letting my emotions out on the page to the point the tip of the pen popped off and coated my hand in black ink.
Did they ever wonder about what happened to me?
Didnât they know I volunteered? That I won? Did they even care?
Obviously not. Otherwise, they would have came looking for you.
I shut the sink off, the inside stained with a dark tint from the ink that was running down the drain. I rinsed my face down and met my own gaze in the mirror. I looked like shit. My skin seemed paler than normal, the bags around my eyes heavier which made my grey eyes seem more vibrantâŚ
What colors were theirs?
Did I look more like him or her?
Did she and I look similar?
I tried putting eating something but only got a handful of bites in before the anxiety began twisting my stomach into a knot and I walked out of the kitchen.
Could they afford food or did they live off the streets like I did?
I needed to get out of here.
âLong time, stranger.â Mei smirked when I came into the library. I usually came in a couple of times a week, whether it was to take something out, help with this and that, or just to talk. I havenât been by all week for the obvious reasons.
âYou havenât been sleeping lately, have you?â
âWhat gave that awake?â I chuckled.
âWhatâs keeping you up, dear?â She asked, turning from the catalogue she was sorting through.
Despite her willingness to listen to me I always felt awkward opening up to her. Now that I was thinking about it, this might actually be the first time Iâve actually came to her for...help. It didnât make me feel any better, if anything I felt like I was being a burden, especially when I saw the look on her face when I finished telling her about what happened.
âSo, yea. Thatâs, where Iâm at right now.â
âSomeone needs to teach that woman some damn manners and social skills.â She cursed under her breath with a sigh, âShe just dropped that all on you and left?â
âPretty much. I guess Iâm a little-â
â-overwhelmed?â
âThatâs putting it lightly.â
âWell, if nothing else, Iâm glad you came to me and talked about it rather than dwelling on it all alone like that.â
âI really donât know what to do with all this.â I shrugged.
âI think if you werenât curious about the truth it wouldnât be staying with you as much as it is.â
I scoffed over a slight laugh and shook my head, âWouldnât you be?â I said quietly.
Silence sat between us for a moment while the noise in my head grew louder as a stream of endless questions followed one after the other, âI feel like Iâm going in circles with all of this.â I finally spoke.
âThen when youâre ready, you need to decide if you want to approach them or not. I can come with you if youâd like.â
âIâll be alright, but thanks. I sort of feel like I need to do this on my own anyways.â I paused and chewed down on the inside of my cheek, âItâs not the actual, you know, putting one foot in front of the other thatâs stopping me. Itâs everything else thatâs going to come with it: What if theyâre good people? What if theyâre scumbags? What if they never wanted me, they donât know who I am and forgot I even existed?â I felt my heart begin to pound with each question I asked. Itâs like hearing them spoken out loud was getting me more overwhelmed than I already was, âFor all I know this information can be outdated and they could be living somewhere else or fucking dead-â
âThen youâll have at least made the attempt to reach out to them and can begin to heal from all of this.â Mei spoke, Â âAnd you know Iâll be here to help you every step of the way, right?â
âI know.â I forced air through my nose in an exhale, âI guess Iâm just...scared, in a way.â
The word felt strange, the emotion of uncertainty, fear, hesitation. I couldnât tell if it was the actual emotion that took me off guard or admitting that I was. I wasnât afraid or scared living in the orphanage, on the streets, when I volunteered or while I was in the Arena, yet this of all things shook me.
âAnd itâs perfectly natural to be scared, especially with something like this.â She assured me, âYou never know what youâre going to find. Who knows, it may have been heartbreaking for your family to leave you all those years ago.â
âThen whatâs keeping them away now? Itâs not like they wouldnât know where I am at this point.â
âMaybe theyâre just as unsure about how to approach you as you are them. Being a parent isnât easy, Gattin. Â Sometimes the right decisions to make arenât always the easiest to put into practice.â There was a hint of sorrow to her words and her eyes drifted from me.
âDid you ever have kids?â I mean, youâd make a great Mom. You practically are mine after all this time.â
She smiled warmly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, âAs far as Iâm concerned, you and everyone else I look out for here are my kids.â
Despite the fondness in her voice and smile I could tell I hit a sore spot I didnât intend on. She had never mentioned kids. Whether she never had them, wanted them, or lost them in the Games I didnât know, and I wasnât about to start asking. I felt bad enough even bringing up the subject and didnât mention it again.
I took her advice to heart, as I did everything we talked about until I left the library later that night. I felt a little better having had someone to actually speak to about everything as opposed to sitting alone in that big empty house and letting it eat away at me. But she was right, I did have a big decision to make in front of me, and what was the right move to make wasnât going to be the easiest.