#hateblogging

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Oh, and by the way, since I don't want to forget this, apparently the original version of this post was something like

This week I’m really feeling the disappointment that I’m not here, 6 weeks in to a new Star Trek series, eagerly awaiting and watching each new episode every week with my family, like I expected and hoped. I don’t even know that I should bother hateblogging the few remaining episodes of this half of the season, it’s like ... it’s just so awful and the writing is terrible and I feel nothing but apathy for the characters and the plot ... I guess I’ll see how bad this week’s episode is

Wow, I will admit, it’s real neat seeing Vulcan in 2017 graphics. I wish it was under better circumstances ...

This aide to Sarek has such a bowl cut, it’s cringe worthy :/

... what. Ignorance is never beneficial? How is it remotely helpful to a mission to not know what it is or why you’re going there?! ugh, the writing for these characters is just so ... artificial ... it’s a problem with so much modern storytelling, it’s like they’re more concerned with having characters say cool dramatic things rather than having actual conversations

The Disco shirts are sooooo dumb. Why wouldn’t they say Discovery in full?

does she have a personality Tilly? does she?

lol Enterprise mention, because we can totally believe that this grimdark holographic spinning mess of a ship exists at the same time as Pike’s Enterprise

cut to Voq, oops I mean Tyler, and Lorca on a Klingon ship apparently

what is this a video game? oh lol, it IS, it’s the HOLODECK because they have those in the 23rd century FFS

lol Voq’s worried his cover was blown when Lorca interrogated his backstory

right. the random prisoner you just found should definitely be your security chief

“someone i can trust” HA it’s SO OBVIOUS HE’S A SPY - so now Lorca just seems stupid as well as an asshole

back to Sarek and the aide ... who just injected himself with something dubious

a Vulcan fanatic who believes humans are inferior ... whoooo just blew himself up

WOW this is bad

like this is the story you needed to tell? so much possibility for a Star Trek series in 2017 with serialisation and this is the series we end up with?

Michael instructing Tilly in the ways of being healthy is just ... why? is this supposed to show that they’re friends? are people really seeing this as cute banter? I just don’t get it

are they gonna go befriend the Klingon spy?

oh good, even better, Tilly thinks he’s hot

“my mentor, Michael” cringe.

how can Michael have spent 7 years amongst humans on the Shenzhou and need Tilly’s guidance on social interaction like shaking hands?

yeeeeah Rick Berman was excited that Enterprise was a Star Trek series where people wore sneakers, having them in a show set in the 23rd century just reinforces - along with the tactical vests and t-shirts that look like they’re straight out of any modern cop show - that this isn’t even set in the future

oh good, Michael is telepathically connected to Sarek still ... wow, this whole sequence is really dumb. like, why are they bonded? how can she sense his pain? HOW CAN THEY MIND MELD ACROSS SPACE?

ethnically diverse Vulcans are the best though

raising a human as a Vulcan just seems like emotional torture tbh? like how ethically dubious?

BEING RAISED AS VULCAN DOES NOT GIVE YOU VULCAN ABILITIES

“how can he put that kind of pressure on a child” GOOD QUESTION

renegade Vulcans tried to murder you

ka’tra has healing powers?! WHAT IS THIS BS

look, okay, it’s one thing to establish new things when you’re making up a series - but this is exactly the problem with saying your series is a prequel and part of the prime universe which has had 5 series worth of content, to then contradict it all by making up nonsense using established canon ... What’s the point? Why not just make a reboot? Set it in a parallel universe, which it obviously is. If you’re so desperate to get away from canon then don’t tell us it’s part of it! But more importantly, if you’re that desperate to ignore it and rewrite it and change it ... why not just make something new?

Lorca has shown 0 compassion to anyone before ever, why would he help her personal request?

these holograms are just so Star Wars, it bothers me every time

“there are protocols to be followed” but they’ve never followed them before, so why would they now lol

Stamets really is different - why couldn’t have been this fun from the start? “groovy” “super cool” “Sarekvision” “psychic hit of speed”

“are you really that crazy?” ummm have you met Michael?

Michael, Tilly, and Voq-Tyler on a shuttle going into a nebula to mind meld with Sarek and find it, what could possibly go wrong?

so many holograms. sigh.

lol Admiral came to see Lorca in person and tell him off  for launching an unauthorised mission led by a mutineer and a POW who has barely had time to recover - and I quote "can you even trust this guy?"

because that's how Starfleet Admirals speak

sigh. I miss proper Star Trek. this FEELS like 2017. it feels like these people just stepped out of today and onto these spaceships. it doesn’t feel like 2250-whatever. add all the holograms you want, holograms do not maketh the future - there was a tone, an aesthetic quality, including goofy space clothes and Shakespearean dialogue, that made it feel like it wasn’t happening now

“I checked him out” ya-huh, you’re gonna have egg on your face when it’s dramatically revealed that he’s a Klingon spy lol

the cornerstone of their entire defence against the Klingons is a science vessel with an experimental mushroom drive ... I can’t even with this show

Lt Stamets engaging in eugenics - hey yeah, I forgot that was an issue, funny how they’re happy to throw away 90% of what we know but keep the tiniest parts, it just makes it all so meaningless

and now they’re having a drink ... so that whole scene was just to remind us that Starfleet exists and remind us that Discovery is important to the war ... they really have to do a lot of telling on this show don’t they?

oh good, the tac vests are back

right. of course. who else would Sarek’s thoughts turn to when he’s dying? not his wife. not his son. YOU. “I was supposed to be his proof that Humans and Vulcans could co-exist as equals” ???? the Federation has existed for almost a century by this point! he LITERALLY HAS A HUMAN WIFE and that half-Human son they keep forgetting - WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK WOULD HE NEED A HUMAN WARD TO PROVE ANYTHING??????

YOU’RE his greatest disappointment? not that he’s fucked up his relationship with his son? or y’know, his full Vulcan son off making a cult?

we’ve done this storyline so many times in more interesting ways - the original, Spock - Worf raised by humans

oh good, Michael and Sarek fighting ... in his mind ...

AND THEN WE’RE BACK TO LORCA AND ADMIRAL DRINKING WHISKEY?

bleeeuuuugh

“some of the decisions you’ve been making lately are troubling” Sooooo stop him? if only there was a chain of command?

I’m glad someone’s calling him out for being awful, but why is it a friendly chat?

oh, he passed psych evals and tests with flying colours. right.

lord please stop flirting. is that ... sleazy saxophone music?

WHAT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS SHOW?

she has GENUINE CONCERNS about his ability and mental state as a Captain and instead of telling other Admirals or having an official meeting or hearing ... she goes to talk to him directly, and then allows him to distract her by seducing her?

this has gotta be the worst written piece of crap I’ve seen in years. and I just rewatched the DS9 season 1 gems The Passenger and Move Along Home. I’ve seen Threshold, and These are the Voyages, and Shades of Grey. All of which, are better than this show’s first 6 episodes have been.

how is the Klingon spy the best character on the show? the only one with any compassion or actual emotions - is it because he’s trying to be a perfect human

they finally mentioned Spock! wait, isn’t Spock supposed to be on the Enterprise at this point? oh no right it’s 7 years before. LOL Sarek chose Spock over Michael AND THEN SPOCK REJECTED THE SCIENCE ACADEMY

why must we come back to Sarek at all? was this story really necessary? was it burning to be told? like ... what do we gain from it? does it add to his character, or Spock’s? 

Admiral found some scars on Lorca’s back in bed ... and poked them while he was asleep. LOL “you sleep with a phaser in your bed and you say nothing’s wrong?” THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE???? WHY would he have a phaser in his bed? who’s gonna attack him on his own ship?

“all these months I have ignored the signs” and it took this to finally tip you off? geezus. good lord. and she’s not like the other Admirals at Starfleet - I mean, okay actually this is the only thing the show has gotten right so far, they always were idiots lol

“I can’t leave Starfleet’s most powerful weapon in the hands of a broken man”

lol she doesn’t believe his plea not to take his ship away, and him admitting he needs help - I don’t believe him either

Saru we knew he was severely wounded, that was the whole point.

lol is he gonna get the Admiral killed so she backs off? what am I saying, of course he is - I mean, of course this diplomatic negotiation with the Klingons he’s sending her off to is going to get her killed

how can he give Michael a bridge position when she’s a criminal? this whole thing makes no sense. why did they go this nonsense route? other than for the sake of drama (oh wait, that’s the only reason they do anything on this show)

why does the replicator tell you how nutritious your food is

oh of course Voq is gonna befriend and flirt with Michael.

lord, could someone please please tell the writers that they’re supposed to show emotions, not have characters explain what they’re feeling through clunky exposition

“it’s just being human” LOL IT’S FUNNY CAUSE HE’S KLINGON

lol yep, cut to neutral territory, let’s watch as this show’s THIRD FEMALE CHARACTER IS KILLED oh no she’s just been taken hostage LOL

“notify Starfleet Command, ask for orders” W O W he is an ASSHOLE

oh good, next episode is a time loop. Mudd’s back. Voq kisses Michael. 

how is it that this show is serialised and yet feels more disjointed than say, the serial arcs of DS9? every episode it’s like ... Stuff Happens ... and it’s very very loosely connected to what happened before, but seems to be mostly at random?? like, reflecting on what I just watched, not a lot of anything happened? their plots were literally, Sarek is attacked and they rescue him because space telepathy is a thing, so Michael can have some drama I guess ... and Lorca sleeps with the Admiral who realises he’s a dangerous asshole, recommends her for a dangerous mission, then refuses to rescue her. that’s it.