#haskey

Last time on Dragon Ball, Goku went to Bulma’s house, but she wasn’t home, but now she is!   Everything’s comin’ up Goku!

Bulma’s house is full of robots and dinosaurs and other cool animals because her dad is rich and a scientist and also he knows what people want to see.   How many dinosaurs did they have in Harry Potter?   None.   McGonnagal could shape shift, so she could have just turned into a triceratops whenever she wanted, but she never did it.   Not even on Harry’s birthday, smh.   Well this anonymous cop gets to see a dinosaur and it’s not even his birthday.    Don’t be afraid, officer, he just gets excited whenever he smells bacon.

Dr. Briefs’ whole deal is that he’s kind of a dope with interpersonal things.   When Bulma introduces him to Goku, he thinks the cop is Goku, and wonders how he could be so tall at only twelve years old.  

Look at this li’l guy hanging on Dr. Brief’s shoulder.   I think his name is Scratch, but that might be a Funimation-only thing.   He’s great.   Most people don’t think about how you can see some good cats in Dragon Ball, but you totally can, and it rules. 

Bulma takes Goku to her room to fix the Dragon Radar, and her dad thinks they’re going up there to make out, which Bulma thinks is gross.   All I know is she was pretty hot for Goku around the Namek Saga.   Goku’s pretty impressed with Bulma’s ability to fix the radar, because Dr. Flappe didn’t even know where to start with the thing, and she’s just plugging away at it.    I mean, she invented the thing, but it’s easy to take for granted how brilliant Bulma really is.   This whole saga has been quietly reinforcing that fact, since the Red Ribbon Army’s Dragon Radar isn’t even portable and it absolutely sucks at finding Dragon Balls.

Bulma is surprised to see Goku only has two Dragon Balls after all this time, and she offers to help him, but Goku complains that she’s too weak, and she can’t ride Kinto’Un because she thought about wieners one time.   Bulma gloats that she has solved that logistical problem by inventing a watch that shrinks her to about six inches tall.   So now she can ride in Goku’s shirt while he rides Kinto’Un.   

Goku’s impressed, but I’m not.   I mean, yeah, it’s pretty incredible that Bulma invented this thing before she even knew she’d have an occasion to use it, but I’d like to point out that Goku just told her that he kept the Dragon Radar in his shirt, and it got so badly damages that he had to bring it here for repairs.   Also, we’ve seen how Bulma handled herself in the last Dragon Ball hunt, and I don’t see how making her even smaller and weaker would help matters.

For example, Bulma’s mom steps on her without even noticing she’s there.   She was just trying to serve hard liquor to Goku, and had no idea her tiny daughter was even in the room.   Rude.

Meanwhile, Commander Red is still trying to wrap his head around the idea that a single kid could completely defeat Colonel Silver and General White.   Because Goku’s got two Dragon Balls, the RRA can at least track his movements, so they know he’s in West City, though they have no idea why.   But it works out for them, because the great thief Haskey lives in West City, so Staff Officer Black commissions Haskey to steal the Dragon Balls.    For one million zeni.   This revealation is followed by clips of Haskey doing all sorts of sick airbike stunts.

Then Haskey unmasks to reveal... a GIRL????????????????????????    You mean the world’s greatest thief, Haskey, is a woman?    What?   How can this be?   She tracks down those two crooks who tried to mug Goku and breaks into their apartment.   I guess she knows them, but if these are the best henchmen she can muster, maybe Black overpaid.

Bulma’s mother explains to Goku that Bulma and Yamcha are having a fight.   Goku doesn’t understand why, and then he finds out that Yamcha has a fan club, which I assume is partly related to his appearance in the 21st Budokai, unless he’s made a name for himself in some other way.   They show up at Bulma’s house with cookies and flowers, and when they see Goku, they’re very disappointed.

“That’s not Yamcha, bring us Yamcha!” they say.   So was Yamcha living here up to now?   I mean, why would these girls come to Capsule Corp otherwise?   Also, did Bulma kick him out when they had the fight?   Because that seems like something she’d do.   Is Yamcha homeless now?

Goku takes mini-Bulma and flies around the city so she can show him around, but then he spots Yamcha, Oolong, and Puar, so he lands to say hello, despite Bulma’s objections.    This looks like a playground to me, and Yamcha was just sort of doing martial arts practice before Goku showed up.   Is Yamcha living on a playground because he’s homeless?   Is he sleeping under one of the slides?   Poor guy. 

Bulma asks Goku not to mention she’s here, because she doesn’t want to talk to Yamcha, probably because she feels guilty about making him live in a playground.   Puar and Oolong are super-supportive, saying he’s better off without Bulma, because she’s spoiled and selfish.  Yamcha agrees, adding that she’s careless too, and right before he can get to the “but” in that sentence, Bulma reveals herself and gets even madder at the guy.    All this because he has a fan club?   Look at him!   He’s super-handsome, even after you made him get that dumb haircut. 

This episode is 100% grade-A filler.   In the manga, Bulma just convinces Goku to let her tag along on his Dragon Ball search, and they leave immediately.   In the anime, they stop off at an amusement park in West Cty, which looks really garish and out of place.   That yellow tube is actually some sort of escalator leading up to the park, and while Goku’s super excited to ride moving stairs, I can’t imagine anyone else would enjoy that.

The whole park feels really abstract and weird.    For example, what is this supposed to be?   The gang is pretty excited about it, and yeah, it looks pretty, but I sort of wonder if anyone at Toei has ever been to an amusement park.

That thing behind Bulma is a ferris wheel, only there’s no wheel, or any other structure except the carriages that the people are riding in.   Is the whole thing made of glass?  Did the animators forget to add it in?  There’s another shot of Goku riding a merry-go-round, only there’s just the horses, and no poles or other parts of what would be included in a merry-go-round.  This is a very odd episode.

The real story here is that Haskey has been hired by the Red Ribbon Army to steal Goku’s Dragon Balls.   The last episode made a big deal about what a genius thief she is, but her first move is to recruit the two hapless muggers Goku beat up in Episode 43.  Then she pickpockets some of the park guests to score tickets to get inside.   Her henchmen are super-impressed by this, but I’m pretty sure if the job was as easy as that, they wouldn’t need Haskey in the first place.   Later, Haskey throws a walnut at Goku, and he catches it.    I have no idea why that happened.  

Yamcha has tagged along on this trip because he’s hoping to get back in Bulma’s good graces.   They had a fight, although from what I’m seeing it’s pretty one-sided.   Other girls like Yamcha, and Bulma doesn’t like that, so she’s blaming Yamcha for it, even though he clearly would rather be with her.  

I mean, seriously, I got an ask a few years ago complaining about how unfair it was that Yamcha and Bulma split up in DBZ, and it’s like this was really all they ever had.    I’m not saying Vegebul is an ideal ship by any means, but half of Yambul is him in the doghouse for no apparent reason.    Is this what we’re supposed to be nostalgic for?  

To be sure, I like this twist in the story.   They fell for each other in the first arc, but it’s been a year, and they’re starting to find out that there’s more to romance than the initial attraction.   Bulma isn’t mature enough to handle a long-term relationship, and Yamcha doesn’t know how to keep Bulma happy.   I’m not saying he should call it quits, but right now he doesn’t even seem to recognize that as an option, and it’s kind of sad to see.   But that’s how it goes sometimes.   It’s a bittersweet thing.   I don’t know that we needed twice as much of it than what we got.

Haskey’s brilliant plan to steal the Dragon Balls is to disgise herself as a fortuneteller and have her cronies pretend to mug her, in order to attract Goku’s attention.    This works pretty well, since Goku already knows these two are crooks.

From there, she pretends to read Goku’s fortune, revealing things that Goku has recently done, which she probably learned from the Red Ribbon intelligence file.  Goku is impressed, and then she tells him he has two balls under his clothes, and he’s even more impressed.   She asks to see them, and Goku whips out his doodle, because it’s been about three episodes since Goku did a full-frontal scene.  

Yamcha suggests that she might mean the two Dragon Balls, and we get back on track.  Haskey’s plan is to have her henchmen turn off the lights at the very moment he shows her the Dragon Balls, but the whole Goku’s Dick moment left them confused and out of position, so the entire caper goes bust.   Goku gives the D-Balls to Yamcha while he chases after the crooks, and this leaves Haskey alone with Yamcha, which turns out to work in her favor.

Okay, so I can believe that Haskey could pull a fake seduction thing on Yamca, and get the drop on him.   I can also believe that Bulma could see this happening, attack Yamcha from behind, and leave him vulnerable long enough for Haskey to take the Dragon Balls.   But are we really supposed to buy that mere ropes can hold Yamcha?   He’s pretty strong, you know?   He carved a sword out of rocks.  

Haskey stupidly explains to him that she’s been paid a million zeni to steal the Dragon Balls, and she’ll get a bonus million if she can kill Goku while she’s at it.   To that end, she’s planted a bomb to blow up the amusement part, and sets it to go off after she leaves.   Uh... this feels a little overboard for a professional thief.  So far, Haskey seems like a much more competent assassin than a pickpocket.  She only got the Dragon Balls because Yamcha’s girlfriend is a maniac.

Fortunately, Goku finds Yamcha, and learns about the bomb, so he chases after Haskey and shuts off the bomb by biting on the remote like a sandwich.   Then he forces Haskey to surrender the Dragon Balls by tickling her.   You know, I really like Haskey, but she kind of sucks at this. 

The gang heads back to Capsule Corp, as they lost Bulma and figured she must have gone home.  She meets them at the door and slaps Yamcha, then announces that she plans to wish for a better boyfriend once she helps Goku gather the Dragon Balls.  At least let Yamcha live in your house while you’re away...