#harrylewisxreader

A/N idk how to even label this one??? kinda short, kinda happy, kinda sad, all over and plucking at my heart strings !!

this is also a kind of non specific one so i guess you could insert whoever !

Requests: Open

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My eyes darted around, watching the crowd filled with my friends laughing, drinking and dancing. I tapped the empty pint glass that was in front of me on the table when I heard the seat next to me scratch across the floor. “Hey stranger” a sweet voice said, causing my head to whip around and meet the gaze of an all too familiar face. She set a full pint glass in front of me whilst sipping on her own. “Penny for your thoughts?” she said, nodding towards the drink she had offered me. I moved my hand to grasp the full glass, taking a quick swig before angling my body towards her. “This is just crazy” I sighed, taking her in. Her hair was tucked behind her ears and she was wearing a light blue silk dress, simple, but it suited her. “I know, two weddings in one year” she laughed, circling the lip of her glass. “Just shows we’re getting older” she carried on biting her lip, looking over as the song changed and the crowd cheered. 

A low chuckle escaped my chest. “Remember, when i’d call you up every Saturday night, we would always be the last two walking home” i reminisced on the past. “I always remember watching the sun rise behind the skyscrapers, walking along the Thames, saying it now it sounds so romantic” she smiled looking back at me. I laughed, “yh, i’m sure the residents being woken up by our dreadful singing every sunday morning really saw the romance in it all”. I watched as a small blush formed beneath her makeup. “God, we were so oblivious,” she laughed. “No we were happy” I smiled sadly at her.gently covering her hand that now rested on the table with my own, squeezing lightly, like i used to. 

I remembered those nights. She would always say we were taking it easy, then after each round we both became more bold. I wasn't the most socially confident person but when i was with her, the crowd of other young adults having fun, the loud thumping music, the glare of the strobe lights, it all went away with the way her body swayed to the beat, the rhythm controlling her as she danced like she was the only person in the room. Slowly our friends would peel away, until we were the only two left, being kicked out the club. She would hold my hand as we drunkenly sang and danced down the river's edge. Every week would be the same, she would stop and watch the sunrise, as I watched the golden rays illuminate her face. She would tell me how beautiful it is and I would always agree. She would turn and with the confidence only alcohol could give us she would kiss me. We would be content in each other's company, our weekly routine would be the highlight for the both of us. We would act normal for the rest of the week, a normal non-labelled couple, until saturday night rolled around again and she would show up at my door, a bottle of that weeks poison in her hand, a cheeky grin on her face and she would always say ‘here we go again’. 

“They were good times” I broke the silence, sounding more sheepish than I had intended. “Yes, good memories” she trailed, re-tucking her hair that had fallen in front of her face. Sometimes it's easy to just focus on the good, but truly that's all we had. Nothing bad ever really happened. We never argued, only bickered, and our routine only stopped because we both had more career oriented commitments. I was doing more shoots and so was she. From weekly outings to monthly, to once in a blue moon to a complete halt. 

A/N: back to my main man. super short so that's why its a drabble, hope you enjoy a little tender moment

warnings: No lol

Requests: On :)

“Why are you so scared to be loved?” Harry said, I could feel his body heat as he rested his arms on his knees that he had tucked into his chest next to me. Biting my lip I finally had the courage to look into those deep blue eyes. I took a deep breath, searching his eyes, before realising that it was my move. “Love is awful,” I said, shocking myself a little. I watched as Harry scrunched his eyebrows at me, a little confused at my words. “What I mean is, well, love isn’t easy, it's painful, it's frightening, it makes you doubt everything you ever knew about yourself, it makes you care about stupid things like if you’d like my hair up or down, long or short. It makes you cruel and selfish, makes you say things you never knew you were capable of, makes you feel so good but so bad all at once. Its exhausting, takes your whole being to be able to truly love and commit to someone, to be able to trust and be vulnerable and confused and i fucking love you” i said almost breathlessly. 

A/N Requests are open :)

"i just don't understand why you have to make such a big deal out of everything" Harry said as he laid back on my headboard rolling his eyes. "and i don't understand why you don't think this is a big deal" i snapped back at my boyfriend. We never spent anytime together any more. "Because it isn't we're both busy" Harry shrugged, making my anger boil over the top. "Do you, do you not love me any more?" i seethed at Harry, hiding the shaking in my voice and masking it with anger. The pause felt like an eternity and when we finally locked eyes and Harrys mouth opened, the last flame in my heart flickered w little with hope. Then when he closed his mouth and didn't say anything that flame finally turned into a sad dying ember. "i can't believe you" i whispered not really knowing what to say next. "i think you should go" i followed quickly, turning away from Harry and making my eyes meet my hands that i hadn't realised were fiddling with the hem of my cardigan. "fine" Harry huffed as he got up and started grabbing his things. "Fine" i shouted back as i followed him to the door. "Just be selfish as always Y/N, because that’s the only thing you know how to do right" Harry seethed through gritted teeth. "oh you're one to talk" is all i snapped back at him. I watch him as he trudges to the door. The figure of a man who once sent butterflies through my stomach, who created a grin on my face that no one else could conjure, the man who once held me in his warm embrace and whispered sweet nothings to me. Even his face filled me with anger and resentment. How could i ever of talked to this man about my deepest darkest secrets, about my- our futures. A loud slam bought me from my thoughts as Harry finally left, with a massive slamming of the door. I flipped off the door and let out a frustrated grunt.

Harry and I had been together for 5 years, which to some doesn't sound a lot but to us it felt like a life time together. We loved each other, we truly did but sometimes good things can turn sour. We has been turbulent since the summer. I don't know what started it but the young naive girl who fell in love and romanticised everything had faded and i was starting to see the reality of it all. I guess we were two souls who just grew apart some how. The worst thing was Harry and I are both very bad at hiding our emotions, our relationship had become a major trait of our personalities meaning that the fans were well aware of every thing the two of us did. We seemed to be good at playing a happy couple but even in recent comments on both of our socials people were asking about us and how our relationship was doing.

Shaking my head from my thoughts of my past 'perfect' relationship. I wiped a stray tear that for my own sake i will pin down to mass frustration. I let out a shaky breath as i hoisted myself from the sofa and repositioned myself so that i was leaning on the counter top. My screensaver was a picture of us. We had been on holiday to Greece with some friends and it was a picture of us on the beach just messing around and having fun. We had grins on our faces and Harrys arm was around my waist tugging me into his frame and holding me with a grip that wasn't suffocating but said i'm here and i love you. I let myself have one faint smile before realising the time 3 am. amazing. I don't know how much longer i could keep up with these relentless fights. I was exhausted but i had no idea how to sleep without dreaming of just falling into an abyss and not having to deal with any of this.

As the weeks went by it become harder and harder for both Harry and I to not look completely emotionally drained. It was no secret to our friends or fans that we were fighting. We looked like empty shells. "So Y/N what have you been up to" Elz made polite conversation with me as i stood at a random party. I was only here for, well i don't really know what for. I had a glass of champagne in my hand that i picked up when i got here 3 hours ago and hadn't even touched. I was in a comfy dress and platform heels to make myself look a little taller than i was. "Talia had kindly offered to do my hair and makeup, she knew everything about what was going on and i think in her head being able to take me away from anywhere and anyone was good for me. "Oh i um well i, if i’m honest just focusing on my channel. Gotta keep up the grind" i Smiled politely in response to her. I loved my friends i really did but right now i wasn't sure how to feel about anything.

As the night rolled on i found that less and less people approached me and wanted to talk to me. Harry was better at faking than i was. Thinking of him i had last seen him about two weeks ago. We had another argument, surprise surprise. Unusually though i kind of missed him. Why were we fighting, why was my heart aching for his touch. Why does he infuriate me yet i just want him to hold me and tell me its all going to be ok. "I know, Y/N i've not seen you all night how are things its been so long" a sweet voice greeted me. I had unintentionally found myself in a group with some of the boys and there partners, god knows how long i had been there for. The sweet voice belonged to Faith. "You know me, work-aholic and all" i giggled as i finally took a sip of my flat champagne. surpisingly this answer seemed to suffice before people fell into idle conversation.

I looked across the room and for a split second Harrys eyes met mine for the first time in months. A burning started in my heart and i couldn't bottle the emotion anymore. I politely excused myself from the conversation and placed the glass i had been gripping as if my life had depended on it on a table towards the edge of the room. My eyes darted across the room to find an exit point. I saw a small glass door, half of it being hidden by a dark curtain. I rushed to the door, praying it was open. As soon as the handle clicked i threw the door open and unintentionally slammed it behind me. I was met by the cool air of winter in London. All of a sudden everything became too much and it all suddenly hit me. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I felt the first tear fall from my face and soon my eyes were blurry and all i could see was a blur of lights. I fell to my knees as a long awaited sob escaped my lips. I wrapped my arms around myself and dropped my head, my hair cascading around my face creating a curtain of darkness. My sobs filled my ears like a loud ringing. My tears felt like scorching water against my cold cheeks and my frame was hunched and to anyone looking i looked like a crumbled mess on the floor.