#hard vent.

today was just awful. hideous even. after asking my mom for some advice about what to do with (m) wanting money from me for the second time, and her being unhelpful, i went to black / white thinking and told (m) off. he's 40. he knows i don't have a job that PAYS anything. and he has made fun of me for it countless times when he comes over. afterwards, i blocked his phone number.

(c) had to LEAVE HIS WHOLE JOB at food lion to come to our house, get me from my room, and give me his phone. who's on the other line? (m). why? to curse and threaten my life and safety because he didn't like what i had to say to him. and that " i better not say that shit to him ever again. " so peachy keen.

not so fun ds lore. i don't like having my life threatened. i don't like kys jokes. i take them extremely serious regardless of the situation.

what happens next? I'm crying, with heart rate spikes, and unable to speak. (c) asks me what's wrong in a caring way. he heard my dad say " these things really hurt her. there's something wrong in her mind. " to (m) since he (dad) also heard the threats and took the phone himself. and i just couldn't answer. because i don't know and know all at the same time. just a gigantic mess of shit.

(m) apologized, and i immediately apologized back because there's no way in hell me or my dad would be able to defend against him. but in my heart? i don't accept anything.