#happiestplacetask6

Task 4: Love Language

Francis values both words of affirmation and physical touch. Words of affirmation have always been a big part of Francis’s days, both given and received. Similarly, physical touch impacts Francis in a huge way and has only grown more important to him as he’s grown, both to give and to receive.

When Francis realized his parents didn’t know that their words affected him so greatly while in middle school, he wrote a short story illustrating the point sufficiently. His dad, however, just said, “Words are cool, son. That’s how they roll.” Francis knew from this that his dad would try his best but probably not give him the affirmation he desired. This was all right with Francis, as his dad was big on hugs (Francis’s other love language). Francis’s mom loved the short story and to this day tells her son that his words speak to her. (His mom is unlike him in many ways. Something in these interactions, though, manages to qualify as Francis’s love language, so he’ll just take it.)

Francis’s physical interactions with others are very important to him. He’ll initiate conversations with a big hug and end them with a pat on the back, usually longer and more sincere. Francis loves hugs and pats on the back in return. He tells people so whenever it happens.

Francis will ensure that he gives his romantic partner the love language they most prefer. He knows that his ways of receiving love are straightforward, but his ways of giving love come across differently depending on who receives it. This is why he intends on learning more about his future wife early, wooing her the way she likes to experience love.

Task 5: Family

Francis has a large family. The Prices themselves are a five-person family with a solid background with one another. Francis’s parents, Bernard and Divina Price, each have four siblings, so Francis grew up meeting cousin after cousin at family get-togethers. (Bernard Price’s relations actually have the last name Nelson. This is because Bernard was adopted as a pre-teen into the Nelson family but retained the last name Price.) Francis’s mother has living grandparents, so Francis is familiar with the time-honored tradition of only seeing one’s grandparents during the winter holidays.

Francis dreams of someday beginning his own special family with that special someone. His ideal for the family would be he and his wife and their three children, all of whom would be adopted locally.

Francis likes to imagine what his future family will look like and act like. He has box after box of “treasures” that he intends on sharing with them when the time comes.

Francis would be totally devastated if he learned that having a family would not be possible because of his career. In that case, he would step down from whatever position he was filling and work in an advisory capacity, earning enough to support his family and giving himself enough time to spend growing that family.

Task 6: Pride

Francis identifies as a heterosexual and demisexual cis man. (Demisexuality entails sexual attraction to the person of a preferred gender only after a strong connection has been forged.) Francis additionally uses the pronouns he and they, though he describes himself using the pronoun he.

Francis loves the LGBT community. His heroes in industry and history identified fluidly. Francis wants to express his support as an ally and do what he can to further LGBT causes.

Francis used to think that he might be bisexual, but careful thought and experimentation revealed to him that he was straight after all. This time, however, remains one of Francis’s favorite periods of his life, and he is glad that he possessed the confidence to consider every possibility.

Task 4: Love Language

Tiana’s love language, both for giving love and receiving love, is acts of service. Putting effort toward another person’s well-being is something that makes sense to Tiana. She’s always loved baking, cooking, and cleaning for the people she loves. Similarly, whenever a friend does something they’re passionate about for her, she is overjoyed.

Sometimes her love language can get her into trouble. People who perform an act of service for her can seem heroic to her, but the person themself may not value the act as highly. Romantic feelings arise in Tiana that may not be reciprocated.

Though Tiana’s love language is acts of service, she is open to receiving different love languages from others. She knows that good relationships, like that of her parents, need both partners to be considerate of the other. Therefore, she would want to show her affection the way that her romantic partners, family members, or friends prefer.

Task 5: Family

Tiana’s immediate family consists of her mother and late father, Eudora and James Powell. She is an only child but has a couple cousins back in New Orleans.

Tiana loves her mother more than anything. Mrs. Powell has always given Tiana the wise words and listening ear that she often needs; Tiana would never take that for granted. In return, Tiana likes to help her mother with cooking and cleaning when she can.

As a child, Tiana tended to imitate her father, busying herself with activities she called “work” while he was actually working and learning how to cook from him when he was home. Nowadays, Tiana likes to embrace her father’s values, perseverance and faith.

Tiana’s two sets of grandparents have passed away in the past twenty years. Although she met all of them, her paternal grandparents lived privately for the most part, and her maternal grandparents moved to California when she was young, precluding her from seeing them often.

Tiana’s plans for her future are mostly business-related, but she does think about starting a family. A future husband would need to like good food, of course, but he would also need to be considerate of others, dedicated to what he believes in, and, most importantly, an earnest conversationalist.

If Tiana were to have children, and she is undecided if she will or not, she would want three.

Task 6: Pride

Tiana has always seen herself as a heterosexual cis woman. She’s proud of her femininity and loves to embrace it when she can.

In spite of her seeming heterosexuality, Tiana may discover new feelings if she actively explores the world of attraction.

Tiana’s favorite month is June solely because of Pride. To her, it’s the best “holiday” of the year—people celebrating their identities is a glorious thing. She loves to make rainbow food for her social circle during June.

Describe your character’s orientation, and/or gender identity.

Transgender heterosexual woman (she/her)

How did they come to the realization?

While I don’t normally include cishet identities in these Pride posts, Gwen’s is a unique case in that her “heterosexuality” is very recent development in what has been an ostensibly queer journey. Gwen knew that she was attracted to men from an extremely young age, developing crushes on her male classmates as young as preschool. She knew that she liked boys far earlier than she would realize she’s a woman.

Her realization of her gender began with cross-dressing. It started as a Halloween costume, where she and her (female) partner dressed in clothes traditionally meant for the opposite sex as a laugh. Gwen was shocked to discover how much more comfortable she felt presenting this way, and how badly she yearned to go back even after the holiday passed. She continued to cross-dress in complete secrecy, even going so far as to steal her partner’s clothing. Running away with Javi gave her the chance to start a new life and she leaped at the opportunity to remake herself as a woman. It is only now that she’s living as a woman full time that she has started to make the discovery that it’s not that she likes to dress as a woman--she is one.

What is your character’s relationship like with their sexuality and gender? Are they in or out?

Gwen’s relationship with both has been very fraught throughout her life. She knew she liked boys from an early age, but she also knew that it wasn’t socially acceptable. Growing up in the 90′s-00′s, where “gay” was slang for bad/stupid and the marriage debate still hot across the nation, it became clear that she needed to remain closeted in order to stay in society’s good graces. Any hint of femininity was bullied out of her at school, though her feeble attempts at masculinity were also mocked. In the end, she settled in androgyny and kept her head down.

Additionally, her mother made it clear that being gay would not be acceptable. While she claimed to not care about such things, she put heavy pressure on her children to conform and succeed within societies norms. When Gwen’s older brother, Bertrand, was caught fooling around with his male friends, it caused such a commotion and schism within the family that Gwen retreated entirely into the closet, locking it behind her.

In the end, Gwen came to the belief that if she just tried hard enough, she could perfect cisheteronormativity just like she perfected her grades and academic accolades. She dated women--even going so far as to become engaged to one--all while suppressing and ignoring any attraction to men. If she didn’t acknowledge it, maybe it would go away.

All throughout this time, she never once questioned her gender. The idea that you could be a different gender than the one you were assigned at birth was completely unfathomable to her. She was told she was a man and that’s how she needed to act, at least passingly enough to not draw any attention. It wasn’t until she started her journey of cross-dressing that she began to question everything she knew. When she proposed to Javi that she recreate her identity as a woman, it wasn’t even under the belief that she was actually transgender. It was an excuse to continue her cross-dressing without any scrutiny. Now, almost a year into living full time as a woman, she can’t imagine ever going back. At the same time, she has yet to actually call herself transgender. It’s a journey of acceptance that is still going on.

The interesting byproduct of this gender exploration, however, has been the opening of the closet door. In being “married” to Javi, she has become the heterosexual ideal. Now that she’s a woman, her attraction to men isn’t something to hide, but rather “the norm”. For the first time, she’s actually able to acknowledge and explore that attraction--this has resulted in years worth of suppression unleashing onto Javi. While her feelings for him are genuine, there is definitely an aspect to her crush that is just allowing herself to openly experience having feelings for men in a way that she never allowed up until this point. In many ways, it is euphoric, while in others, it is terrifying. It still feels deeply queer but in a way that society, and she, can accept. As long as she continues to play into all of her roles correctly, anyway.

What do they think about Pride and the community as a whole?

Even before her life as Gwen, she claimed to be an ally. At the very least, she was never hateful and did not participate in bigoted practices from her mother or classmates. At the same time, she wasn’t one to stick her neck out. While she’d engage in “intellectual” debates on the matter, as soon as it seemed like she was becoming too involved in the issue, she would back away. She wouldn’t seek out Pride events but if she just happened to pass by, then there was no harm in watching the parade or making light chit-chat. In the end, she was like a skittish animal--watching from the outside, but darting away as soon as anyone acknowledged her.

·         Describe your character’s orientation, and/or gender identity

Bisexual, cisgender woman (she/her).

·         How did they come to the realization?

Sofia was raised in a traditional, rather repressed environment, with her father being barely present and raised mostly by strict old-fashioned nannies and governesses. Issues of sexuality and romance were barely mentioned at all in her household (probably fueling Sofia’s curiosity towards these taboo topics), and in the few cases the topics were discussed, it was always from a heteronormative, cisgender perspective. Still, Sofia was always prying a bit too much, questioning a little too often, to the dismay of her tutors; and, as she began to be allowed to surf the web, and the restrictions towards her were slowly removed (less out of a confidence in her self-determination, and more out of her being considered too old to keep being so overly supervised), Sofia found examples of non-straight, non-cis expressions of affection through books and comics centered on romance and relationships –her favorite kind. And, while these examples were hardly consistently positive or even realistic, Sofia’s hunger for knowledge helped her to search for more information, finally discovering the label of bisexual –which she felt perfectly described the natural feelings she had always felt towards pretty and kind people of any gender.

Nonetheless, Sofia never truly considered it a reality for her to actively pursue a relationship with a girl, no matter how much she wanted one, no matter how hard and fast she fell for the prettiest girls in her class. She felt her father would not allow it, and that, somehow, it would shame him to have a daughter who could possibly be rather uninterested in the certainty of a future with a husband and kids; so, despite her own desires, she made an effort to limit her interactions to other girls to remain strictly platonic, while allowing herself to continue fantasizing about boys. This all changed, however, when in the span of two years her father died, she was accidentally poisoned, and when she recovered she moved with her stepmother to the town Sofia had only known from occasional holiday trips. Suddenly, her father was out of the picture, and at least by the time being, Guinevere didn’t seem to have many, if any expectations towards her stepdaughter, beyond her being respectful and responsible. This allowed Sofia to continue exploring her orientation without shame, and finally, when she turned seventeen, definitely came out to herself as bisexual.

·         What is your character’s relationship like with their sexuality and gender? Are they in or out?

Generally speaking, Sofia is quite confident in both her gender and sexuality as a whole; she loves traditionally feminine, pretty stuff, and doesn’t have any problem adhering to mainstream perceptions of girlhood, having been trained to do so her whole life. She is, however, slightly wary of being too ‘out’, fearing she might come across as too annoying or pushy with her desires, trying instead for a more subdued, less evident approach, so as to not make others uncomfortable.

·         What do they think about Pride and the community as a whole?

Describe your character’s orientation, and/or gender identity.

tj identifies as male with the pronouns he/him as gender identity, but in terms of his orientation he doesn’t label himself at all.

How did they come to the realisation?

he always knew, there wasn’t a moment where he’s ever doubted his attraction to others. he was always surrounded by open-minded people, and the conversations about sexuality and gender were always talked about freely and welcomed. he’s always been well aware that he’s always went with the flow, but he’s never felt the need to label himself or felt like a label was what he would put on himself.

his family and his friends never questioned his actions with whomever he decided to be with at whatever time in his life growing up, they were always supportive in him finding out about himself and what he wanted in life. one of the earliest times in his life was when he was in school, he’d see an attractive person and would be drawn to them regardless of how they identified of gender and sexuality.

What is your character’s relationship like with their sexuality and gender? Are they in or out?

his relationship with who he is, is solid. he’s certain about his choices with his gender and sexuality. he’s never made any indication of hiding who he is, nor does he ever plan to.

he’ll sleep with anyone with a pulse that consents. if he’s attracted to someone, and they’re attracted to him, then its game on baby.

What do they think about Pride and the community as a whole?

Describe your character’s orientation, and/or gender identity

Bisexual, cisgender woman (she/her).

How did they come to the realization?

While Sally still hasn’t fully come to terms with it, it would be safe to say that, in the same way Jack King was her introduction to real-life romance, Ella Fontaine was her introduction to the real possibility of her harboring a crush on someone who wasn’t a man. Previous to that, she had felt a certain attraction towards Ollie, who she considers the most beautiful person she knows, while still denying to herself that she could somehow actually see them as anything but a friend. In a general sense, while it is undeniable that her heart belongs fully to Jack, she has always perceived women to be in some regards even lovelier than men, while also fascinating and just a little bit scary to approach.

So, at least during those first years when she begun to make friends, Sally exclusively established bonds with men –since, spending most of the time with her father, it’s what she felt most comfortable with. Venturing beyond that comfort zone, forming new friendships, Sally has begun to realize how her attraction to other genders has developed, especially during the brief encounters she had with Ella Fontaine for the preparation of the Hootenanny. Despite all this, the seamstress isn’t sure whether her feelings could truly be acknowledged as romantic –or even sexual –in nature… At least not yet.

What is your character’s relationship like with their sexuality and gender? Are they in or out?

Being raised in a relatively tolerant household, Sally knew about the existence of homosexuality as a natural phenomenon from a pretty early age. Still, while her father never manifested any explicit signs of homophobia, it was always considered in the Finkelstein household for homosexuality to be a deviation, an exception to the rule; perfectly normal, though not the norm. Because of that, Sally never really considered it a possibility, especially when she fantasized with being swept off her feet by a wonderful man, and forming a lovely family with him, through the content she was constantly exposed like music, movies and books. That heteronormativity was so strong that, even when Sally began focusing more on women she admired, she would never identify those emotions as anything other than a typical, chaste ‘girl-crush’.

On the concept of gender, Sally never really felt like her assigned one was in any conflict with how she identified or liked to present; nonetheless, the fact that she’s plenty aware of how, since she was a child, she was trained to follow strict gender roles based on her submission and service to her father, apart from the infantilization and undermining he has subjected her to for decades, does sometimes make her feel a disconnect between how she would like to be perceived –as mature, smart, successful and elegant, like Ella Fontaine or Ursula Di Rossi –and how she perceives herself –as rather childlike, more or less self-sufficient in her day-to-day tasks yet also emotionally immature, with little autonomy of her own and plagued with extremely low self-esteem. That unsteady balance between the desire to have a certain amount of power and self-determination clashes with her instinctive desire to be nurturing and supportive to others, since that is all she has known herself to be good for, is something Sally feels will come crashing down any day now.

What do they think about Pride and the community as a whole?