#hansencest

If the Chuck of the present tells the Chuck lying in medical six months ago that this is the version of reality he will be living in due time, Chuck of the past might fracture a couple of bones in his semi-good hand throwing a punch at his own face.

He is sitting in the passenger seat with Max sprawled across his lap, giving him pins and needles as much as he grounds him. Because here is this foreign little emotion that is twisting him up inside, Chuck is happy.

"Where’re we heading?”

Squinting out at the dirt roads that seem to stretch on, Chuck sees the world in a too bright light even through the sunglasses perched on his face.

His father is behind the wheels, driving at a speed that could be much faster but there is absolutely no rush and that’s what is throwing them both off.

“Your choice, kid.”

Chuck knows anger and resentment like the back of his hand, he understands these feelings because he has spent a good portion of his life being wound up in it. But he never quite understood anxiety because it is a future based emotion, and for the longest time, he never dared himself to imagine coming back from all this alive.

“I,” Chuck drops off, not quite knowing what comes next is a frightening thing.

“Take your time, think about it.” Herc paces himself out because he has a lot of making up to do too and it doesn’t just start here but it isn’t such a bad place to try. “The country’s a big place and when we’re done, there’s still the rest of the world.”

He has him, like he has never had him before.

He has him to keep. And it is a damn surreal thing.

Herc reaches over the narrow space between them to touch, runs a hand against the ginger fuzz growing back along the scabs to rest his palm on the back of Chuck’s neck.

There is resilience built into their bones, Chuck doesn’t lean away even as he takes the map from the dashboard. The sun is not letting up, the heat dry and insistent across his skin, the pervading sunshine makes him feel like he is not just alive but living like the rest of this earth.

“I think we can drive a little further first.”