The Failed Shovel talk;
Summary; The Hook siblings attempt to give Haul the shovel talk. It doesn't go as expected at all. Also featuring Peter Pan, Ginny Gothel, and an alternate version of Hope from ouat as half siblings who also take part in this ridiculous endeavor. Requested by @idontliketomatoesleavemealone and suggested by @dragoneyes618 .
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Hannah and Haul had been together for 6 years by the time they actually got around to introducing him as her boyfriend.
It wasn't their fault. No really, it wasn't. It just kind of happened after the whole 'running off to bulid their own circus at 15 and 17' thing.
And sure, they could have gone and visited her adoptive family like they had the rest of their family (Haul's and her bio parents' family). But Haul was tired of the bullying at school enough to drop out and Hannah was angry about the amount of secrets everyone in her family was keeping... so, they didn't.
And yeah, it could very well be considered petty on Hannah's part but she didn't particularly care and Haul would do anything she asked him to. And could you really blame either of them after finding out all the secrets her family had been keeping?
Harry dating Audrey.
Ginny and Clay being married.
Harriet being able to speak to more than just crocodiles.
Cj running off to wonderland. Without telling anyone. Again. AND MARRYING ZEVON.
Her father getting remarried.
Her grandfather being DAVY JONES!
Peter Pan being her brother.
Hannah thought that all of that warranted being more than a little petty-- even if Haul didn't necessarily agree with her.
But all of that was behind them now and he was finally getting reintroduced to her family. Well, her siblings at least. Apparently her father was still livid that she ran off and his new-not-so-new wife and mother were trying to calm him down. Who would have thought that, that was a possibility? Totally not him.
Everything was going well at first.
All 6 of Hannah's siblings-- yes, 6, apparently her father had another kid while she was gone-- were being friendly enough. Even though he could tell that it was forced-- they had the same tells as Hannah after all-- he appreciated it.
Harriet talked about her kids and job. And Anthony's bat. And the animals she had in her corner.
Ginny talked about all the deadly potions she knew how to make and all the weapons Clay owned.
With Cj chiming in about all the ones Zevon knew how to make and all the deadly adventures they had been on. While playing with a lighter.
Harry just played with his hook, making hook puns. Which kept getting him warning looks from Harriet.
The only ones being genuinely friendly were Peter-- who had known where they had been the entire time-- and little 5 year old Hope. The kid James Hook had when Hannah was gone.
Everything was going well at first.
Until Hope had to go to the bathroom and asked Hannah to come with her. Which Hannah couldn't refuse because she adored the little one already.
As soon as the two of them were out of earshot, everything went to hell.
"So. Haul--" Harriet started, leaning toward him slightly. Scratching her pet crocodile's back. "We need to talk"
Peter snickered.
Haul shot him a brief glare before turning back to Harriet "About?"
Harry got in between them, grinning like a mad man. "Your intentions with our baby sister "
"I don't have any intentions with Hope" He replied dryly, despite knowing exactly what they meant.
Harry's smile vanished. "Not her! You know what we mean!"
"No I don't. Because last time I checked Hannah wasn't a baby" Haul knew that he was treading on thin ice but he really couldn't help it. He was tired of everyone trying to use intimidations on him. It got old fast.
"She's still our baby sister" Ginny chimed in, sharpening her nails with her dagger.
"She's 22 and can take care of herself " Haul bit down on his lip to stop himself from sounding too annoyed. He knew that they'd just take notice of it and use it to their advantage. Hannah had told him so before they had arrived.
"22 year olds don't know what they want" Haul wanted to face palm. Honestly, how stupid could one be?
"Cj, you're literally a year older than her. You're basically saying that YOU don't know what YOU want." He sighed, pinching his nose.
Cj turned red, having possibly forgotten that little fact, and scowled "that's not the point! Just focus on what we're saying!"
"I would if you were saying anything worth focusing on"
Before they could say or do anything in response, an oblivious Hannah returned carrying a sleeping Hope.
"Hey guys what's u-- why does Peter look one laugh away from death?"
Haul just smiled innocently at her, feeling 4 glares on him. "No reason, Dream Queen. No reason"
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Author's note; sorry, this probably isn't my best work but I wasn't sure how to phrase it.
For anyone wondering;
Ginny Gothel is the hook kids' half sibling and she married Clay Clayton.
Peter Pan is their full blooded brother. Something no one knew till Hannah figured it out when she was 15.
Harriet married Anthony and Harry married Audrey.
Cj married Zevon.
And Hope is Hook and his new wife's daughter.
Everyone's ages can be found down below;
Ginny and Harriet are 28.
Harry is 25.
Haul is 24.
Cj is 23.
Hannah is 22.
Peter is still physically like 13.
And Hope is 5 and based on baby Hope from ouat. She's meant to be an alternate version of her. She is not @idontliketomatoesleavemealone oc, Hope. Or my oc, Hope Sid. Just to be clear.
Hope that clears up most confusion.





















