#hangman reader insert

Jake was never this needy when he first came home. Well, not unless something horrible happened. Considering his job, it was always a possibility. But you also knew that there were many times that he couldn’t tell you what was going on.

“Just a long day,” He murmured. “And all I wanted when it was over was to see you.”

“Want me to order dinner, and you can tell me about it?” You turned in his arms to face him.

He nodded, “I think I’d like that.”

“Your usual?”

“Please.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m gonna go shower while we wait.”

You stretched up on your tiptoes and kissed him. His rough, calloused hands found their way under the hem of your shirt as he pulled you impossibly closer and deepened the kiss. That man could kiss you breathless in two seconds flat, and he enjoyed every moment of it. You broke the kiss only when the need for air became too much to ignore.

“Go shower,” You smirked. “If you don’t go now, dinner is never getting ordered.”

He laughed, kissing you chastely. “Yes, ma’am.”

########

You had agreed not to talk about the heaviness of the day until after you were both done eating and could devote all your attention to him. His phone had gone off a handful of times, all Dagger Squad members seeming to check in? It was hard to tell, but you started reading between the lines when Bradley texted you to ensure that Jake was with you and not home alone.

“Babe, I hate to ask this. But does your bad day have anything to do with the reason Bradley just texted me to make sure you weren’t alone?”

“Yes,” He let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know if I should be worried or impressed that he has your number.”

“All of Dagger Squad does.” You chuckled. “How do you think I keep track of you when you’re not here?”

“Valid point.” He turned and laid his back across the couch, his head on your lap.

“Talk to me, babe,” You ran your fingers through his hair, his eyes closed at the contact.

“I almost lost Coyote today.” He spoke softly. “He was in G-lock.”

Your heart sank. Javy was Jake’s best friend and wingman. They were practically inseparable from when they first arrived on North Island as Top Gun cadets.

When he opened his eyes, he had a thousand-yard stare, “Then Phoenix and Bob had to punch out because of birdstrike.” He continued.

“Oh, babe,” you cooed.

“This was all within minutes of each other.” He continued. “I had to sit in the Ready Room and listen to Maverick call it out over the radio. Over and over, he called out Coyote’s name just to try and pull Javy out of it.” He let out a deep breath, “He almost wasn’t in time.”

“But he was,” you reminded him.

“But what if he hadn’t been?” He questioned. “What if Phoenix or Bob weren’t able to eject in time? It’s happened before. That’s how Rooster’s dad died.”

You had heard the story of how Rooster’s dad died, as well as a few other pilots in the Top Gun program. It was heartbreaking, and every day that everyone came home was a day you were extra thankful for.

“Jake,” You spoke softly, cradling the side of his face. He turned into it and kissed the palm of your hand. “You can’t let yourself live in that thought process. Accidents happen, and you can’t keep reliving those moments. But you can keep the people you care about the most close to you and remind them every day how much you care.”

He was quiet for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. You weren’t oblivious to the fact that most people never experienced this side of him- the kind, caring, actual human side. A part of you always hoped he would share it with the rest of the world, but that wasn’t likely to happen.

“I guess I don’t do a good job at that,” He spoke so softly you weren’t sure you were supposed to hear.

“Vulnerability is courageous in its own way,” You encouraged, moving your hand to rest on his chest.

He chuckled softly. “And dangerous.”

“At times,” you nodded, smiling at him.

He reached out and grabbed your hand in his. He intertwined your fingers and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “You know that I love you, right?”

You were shocked by the concern evident in his expression, as if you may actually doubt his feelings for you.

“Jacob Seresin, I question many things in the world; but the fact that you love me is certainly not one of them.” The smile that stretched across his face could have lit up the night sky.

“After this mission, I have no idea where they’ll send me next.”

“It won’t matter. You always find your way back here.” You squeezed his hand softly.

“What if we didn’t have to worry about it?”

You looked at him with a scrunched forehead. There was no way this man was considering leaving the Navy, so what on earth could he mean.

“What if you and I never had to worry about where I was stationed. You could come with me.”

“Jake, the only way that would happen is if we were married.” You pointed out the obvious.

“I know,” He looked down at your intertwined hands. The man, confident in everything he does, finally came across a situation that made him nervous.

“Oh,” You let out a heavy breath, completely caught off guard by the direction of the conversation.

“I always knew that this was what I wanted, to marry you.” He spoke again, “I honestly thought I’d ask in a different way. Probably at the beach or back at home on the ranch. But I’ve wanted to ask you for a while now.”

You already knew the answer to his unasked question. It was always going to be yes. “You haven’t asked me a question, Jake.”

He laughed and rolled off the couch before kneeling in front of you. You had to bite your lip to keep from laughing.

“Will you (y/f/n) (y/l/n) marry me?” The tone in his voice and the smile on his face were more confident than a moment ago. He knew the answer. You would haven’t have pushed him to ask the question if you were going to say no.

A giggle escaped your lips as you nodded your head, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide. You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his neck, and kissed him.

He pulled back, still smiling down at you. “You haven’t answered my question.”

You rolled your eyes, still smiling, as he turned your statement around on you.

“Yes, a million times, yes.”

He smiled, thrilled with your answer and satisfied he could turn your sarcastic response back on you. He closed the distance between the two of you and kissed you breathlessly.

A few moments of silence passed between the two of you. Each time you drove under a streetlight or a car passed in the opposite direction, you could see the lingering frustration on Jake’s face. You knew that he had had a long week at work and the last thing he wanted to do was bail you out of trouble.

You and Natasha had gone out to The Hard Deck, and Bradley and Jake had declined the offers to tag along, leaving it to a girl’s night. One thing led to another; both of you had drank more than you should have. When a pair of guys wouldn’t take no for an answer from you and Phoenix, you resulted in something other than words. A thrown drink and a punch to the face later, they were both thrown from the bar, and Penny called Bradley and Jake to come to pick up their wives.

“You still look mad.” You muttered.

“I’m NOT mad! But I will be if you keep asking!” Jake raked his hand over his face. “I’m sorry.” He spoke again, this time in a softer tone. “I’m annoyed with how disgusting men can be and that I allowed myself to put you in a situation where I couldn’t protect you. I know you’re a grown woman who can care for yourself. But as your husband, it kills me to know that something like this would have never happened if I had just been there with you.”

He reached across the center console of his truck and laid his hand on your thigh.

“I know you had a long week. I’m sorry Penny had to wake you to come get me.”  

This made him chuckle, “Oh babe, I can’t sleep without you. Even if I tried, I would just toss and turn, waiting for you to come home.”

“Jake, you know I would have stayed home if you would have just asked.” You said, intertwining your fingers with his.

“I know,” He pulled your intertwined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of your hand. “That’s why I didn’t ask. I meant it when I told you to have a good time tonight. As long as I know I’m the one you’re coming home to, I’m happy. You work so hard and spend too much of your time doting on me. You deserve a night out, especially a girl’s night.”

He pulled into the driveway, letting go of your hand long enough to throw the truck in park and remove the keys from the ignition.

“Can you do me a favor?” Jake asked. “Next time, let Jimmy or Penny know what’s going on before it gets to the point of drink-throwing. Call me or text me. Hell, you could call Bradshaw if that would help.”

You giggled. “So the next time I need help, I should call Bradley?”

Jake shook his head, smiling; he knew what you were trying to do. He leaned forward and kissed you chastely. “I’m being serious,” He said, resting his forehead against your own. “I was worried when I saw Penny calling. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

“I promise,” You murmured, “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I worry about you every time you’re out of arms reach. It’s my job as your husband.” He chuckled, “You realize how accident-prone you are, right?”

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

Before he could speak again, you closed the distance between you and kissed him. You nipped at his bottom lip, begging to deepen the kiss. Your fingers threaded through the hair at the base of his neck. His hand cradled the side of your face. You didn’t intend for it to turn into anything, at least not at first.

“Take me to bed, lieutenant.” You whispered once the kiss broke.

 (Hangman POV- 3rd Person) 

“Can we talk?” Rooster said, leaning against a chair.

“This doesn’t sound good,” Jake responded.

“It’s just that I know you, and” Rooster hesitated for a second. “I want to give you some advice.”

“Unsolicited advice is always great,” Jake laughed. 

“Just listen, okay?”

Jake nodded, realizing that Rooster was serious. 

“If she gives you her heart, which she clearly has, don’t you break it.”

Rooster closed his eyes for the briefest moment, Jake noticed something was off. 

“Let your arms be a place she feels safe in.” Rooster continued. “She always has trouble falling asleep, and she likes to cuddle under the sheets. She loves pop songs, dancing, and bad trash TV.” He paused for another moment to make sure that Jake was still listening. “There are still a few other things. She loves love notes, babies, and giving gifts. She has a hard time accepting compliments. She loves her whole family and all of her friends.” He took another deep breath, “Most importantly, on days when it feels like the whole world might cave in, stand side by side, and you’ll make it. She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have. She’ll love you if you love her like that.”

A quiet moment passed between them. Jake’s mind was thrown in a hundred different directions. Not sure which questions to ask and what conclusions to draw without any specifics. How much of the back story really mattered? Everything Rooster was saying was true. Jake loved her in a way he never knew possible. 

 (Readers POV)

You and Natasha had stopped at the edge of the soft sand, and stretched out in front of you was the dimly lit ocean and the sound of crashing waves nearly drowning out the nagging thoughts in the back of your mind. 

“The phrase can we chat is awful,” You tried to joke. 

Natasha laughed, “Sorry, and I’m practically dragging this out.”

“Come on, it can’t be that bad. What’s going on?” You asked.

“It’s about Hangman,” She grimaced, “It’s just, I just,” her stutter was concerning you. 

“What about him?” 

“Well, I know you, and I know him. But I see the two of you together,” She hesitated with a smile, “I don’t know how else to say it besides that you are obnoxiously in love.”

You laughed, “Is that such a bad thing?”

“No,” she shrugged, “At least until he breaks your heart. And we both know it’s only a matter of time until that happens. 

“Maybe, maybe not?” You shrugged. “Let me try to explain,”

Nat nodded, willing to hear you out.

“His arms are where I feel the safest; he never says no to cuddling under the sheets or gets upset with my obnoxious music and terrible dance moves.”

Nat laughed, “They can be pretty awful,”

“Hey!” You smacked her playfully. “He understands my deep love for my family and friends and accepts that sometimes they will be my priority. He keeps all the ridiculous love notes I leave him and leaves his own for me.” You hesitated before going on. “And you know me, I’ve rarely felt comfortable in my own skin, and no matter how much self-doubt I let in, he always says, ‘You’re perfect to me.”

“Cheesy,” Nat chuckled,

“On the worst days, the days that feel like the whole world might cave in when we stand side by side, it actually feels like we’ll make it.” You paused for a moment smiling to yourself; in vocalizing all these things, you realized how much you truly loved him. “Honestly, he’s more than my best friend, forever and then some. No matter what, I’ll choose him over and over again.” 

Natasha squeezed your arm reassuringly. “He never made me feel that way,” She spoke softly. 

The comment didn’t take you by surprise. None of you had outright spoken the words, but you knew Natasha and Jake had a history. But you were a firm believer of ‘what’s in the past is past. “But Rooster does,” You mentioned with a smile.

She nodded, “Yeah,” she smiled, “Yes, he does.” 

“He never did with me.”

“Wait, what?” She exclaimed. “I mean, I always suspected, but I.”

“It was a long time ago,” You stated, cutting her off, “We’re both past it. But it just goes to show you that the right person makes a world of difference.” 

 (Hangman POV- 3rd Person)

“How do you know all of this?” Jake finally asked, “This all seems a little too specific to be general advice.”

Rooster closed his eyes, “Because I didn’t do these things,” He opened them and looked Jake right in the eye, “and it cost me everything I ever thought I loved, including her.”

“What?” Jake’s jaw dropped in shock. He thought it was possible that you and Bradley had some kind of past, but it was never an issue, so he never pried. If it was important, he trusted you to bring it up. 

“It was a long time ago; we’re both past it.” Rooster stated, almost emotionless. “I grew up a lot after our relationship. Mave made sure that I knew full well that I blew it. But it just goes to show you that the right person makes a world of difference.”

Jake took a moment to try and collect his thoughts, choosing his next words carefully. “Whether you believe me or not, I will not break her heart.” He gripped his pool cue, almost as if it gave him the confidence to finish the conversation. “She is more than my best friend, forever and then some. No matter what, I’ll choose her over and over again.”

“That’s all I could ever hope for both of you,” Rooster smiled.

 (Reader Person)

“Does Bagman know about you and Rooster?” Natasha asked.

You laughed at the name; she only ever used it if she was trying to lighten a situation, “It’s never been a secret, but we’ve never talked about it either.”

“We should probably go back inside and check on them then.” She turned the two of you to start walking.

“Oh lord, what is Rooster doing?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Eh, I can only guess how he went about it; but he basically intended to make sure that Jake knew not to break your heart.”

You rolled your eyes. “Great,” you huffed.

The relationship between you and Bradley didn’t end with you hating each other. It was one of the mythical mutual breakups. You weren’t what he needed at that point, and he couldn’t give you what you wanted emotionally. You never stopped considering him a friend, and he frequently stepped up in an older brother kind of role in the last few months, but this was a whole new level. 

 (Hangman POV- 3rd Person)

The creek of the back deck door opening stole Jake’s attention. Without a thought, he silently handed his pool cue off to Rooster and walked straight toward her. Even in a packed bar, his determination propelled him quickly through the bar. 

She caught his movement in the corner of her eye and turned towards him, smiling at him like he had hung the stars in the sky. It had only been a few minutes since the last time they saw each other, but in that short time, through deep conversations, they saw each other in a new light. 

When he was within arms reach, he wrapped an arm tightly around her waist, pulling her impossibly close, and her hands settled in the small of his back. His lips crashed into hers, and he kissed her breathlessly.  

He pulled back just enough to look at her and cradle her face in one of his hands. She closed her eyes, leaning into it and kissing his hand’s palm.

“I love you.” Jake confessed, “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”

She knew; of course, she did. But this time, she saw something different when she looked up into his emerald green eyes. Unadulterated love and devotion.

“I know,” She smirked, trying not to inflate his ego too much. “I love you too.”

He kissed her again, and the crowd in the bar cheered. 

She pulled away laughing, embarrassed by the attention.

“Guess I forgot we were surrounded by people.” Jake laughed.

“Just another night at The Hard Deck.” Coyote joked. 

You didn’t want to wait for a response, so you picked up your phone to call him instead of texting.

“Babe, is everything alright?” Jake answered the phone, worry unmistakable in his tone.

“I’m fine, just sitting in the driveway,” you replied, turning off your car.

“Shit, did I miss your text?”

“No, l didn’t want to wait any longer to hear your voice.”

He chuckled, “flattery will get you nowhere, Mrs. Seresin.”

You hummed happily, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being called that”

“I’ll be right out, Mrs. Seresin.” you could hear the smile in his voice.

Your relationship was controversial in your family and group of friends. You had been together for over a year but married after just ten months of dating. You and Jake felt it was right, but everyone else was hesitant that you were rushing into something that neither of you understood. 

This was your first holiday season as a married couple, and it was nothing like you had expected. You went from living in a state with four seasons to San Diego, which only had one. Seventy degrees didn’t really scream Christmas season to you. Leaving your usual holiday cheer virtually nonexistent. You cohosted Thanksgiving with Penny and thought that it would never end when usually that is something you would have lived for. One night at The Hard Deck, your uncle Pete asked when you were going to start decorating for your favorite holiday. When you responded with a shrug and a simple comment about not feeling up for it, Jake knew he had to do something to cheer you up. 

Turning off your car, you were unplugging your phone and tossing it into your purse when your car door opened. Jake was dressed in your favorite gray sweatpants and a Hard Deck t-shirt, with a Santa hat dawning his head.

“Hey baby,” He smiled, stretching out his hand. “Did you have a good day with Mave?” 

You took his hand, climbing out of the car. “I did. We went to the beach for a while, and Penny joined us for dinner. It was good.” You reached on your tiptoes and kissed him. “Thank you for insisting I go.”

“I’m glad you had a good day.” He closed the car door. “I have a surprise for you.” 

“Jake,” you practically whined.

“I know, I know, you hate surprises. But I think you’ll like this one.” He grinned. 

You stared up at him, trying to be angry or annoyed, but you weren’t. As much as you hate being surprised, Jake’s surprises tend to be your favorite moments. 

“Did you go through the Christmas boxes in the garage?” You asked, flicking the ball of the Santa hat. 

Jake laughed, “No, this was Rooster’s doing.” 

You found yourself skeptical as you approached the walk-up to the door. 

“Do you trust me?” Jake asked, pulling you to a stop. 

“With my life.” You replied without hesitation.

“You have two choices- I can blindfold you, or you can let me carry you into the house.”

“Um, what?” You exclaimed, confused. 

“You said you trusted me.” 

You laughed, “that was before you gave me two creepy serial killer options.” 

He raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Fine, fine.” You raised your hands, laughing. “Blindfold.”

“Really?” He pouted. “Guess you’ll have to wait here while I find one.”

“If I only had one option, why did you give me two?” 

“Well, I thought you’d only need the one.” 

You rolled your eyes, smiling at your dork of a husband. “Fine, you can carry me.” 

Jake picked you up bridal style and situated you in his arms. You kissed his cheek, just thankful to be so close to him. You knew he didn’t want you to peek at whatever he’d spent the day doing, so you buried your face in his neck, closing your eyes. Whatever it was, you knew he meant well. But that was the thing about your husband - he always has good intentions; he just might be terrible at showing that sometimes. Especially when it comes to his teammates. 

He jostled you around as he navigated opening the door; you could hear soft Christmas music playing in the background. “I’m gonna put you down now. Open your eyes.”

You felt your feet hit the ground, Jake’s hands on your waist steadying you. Opening your eyes, you looked around the living room. A Christmas tree was tucked in the corner, beautifully lit with red and white balls. Green and red garland lined the banister of the stairs and the arch between the living room and kitchen. Stockings hung over the fireplace with your names written across them. 

“Jake,” You beamed, “You did all of this?”

“I had help.”

“Nat and Bradley?”

He chuckled.

“You didn’t hide that part very well.” You turned, looking up at him.

“I didn’t care about that part. I just wanted to do something to cheer you up.”

You leaned up on your tiptoes and kissed him chastely. “Mission accomplished.”

The song faded into a new one, one that you loved. That’s when you realized that he had set up your vinyl record player and had your favorite Christmas album playing. 

“Inspiration?” You asked, pointing to the vinyl player.

“Babe, you played this song on repeat last year.” Jake laughed, pulling you closer. “I think it still plays in my sleep.”

“I have zero regrets.”

“Considering how much you love all of this.” He pointed to the decorations and lights. “Not to mention how many times I listened to this man’s albums last year, I knew I needed to do something to help you get in the holiday mood. What does he say? Turn your heart to red and green instead of blue.”

You giggled, “Guess that makes you Mr. Christmas.” 

“I’ll make your spirit bright,” He closed the distance between you, kissing you.

“Yeah,” You nodded, “Penny let me turn the thermostat way down to help my mood.” You laughed.

“How cold is it normally on Thanksgiving where you’re from?” Coyote asked

“Usually in the high 30’s, maybe the low 40’s.”

“Nope, too cold” He laughed.

“The thermostat is only at 62.” Penny pointed out.

“Tolerable,” Maverick shrugged. “When do we eat?”

“20ish minutes?” You spoke, “The bird is resting; it needs to be carved still.”

“Oh!” Jake raised his hand, “That’s an actual job for me.”

Everyone laughed.

“Maybe it should be the man from Montana, not Texas?” Payback piped up.

“Oh no,” Bob threw his hands up in defense. “I can assure you Texas has meat carving over Montana.”

“Who knows, maybe this is that one thing that Hangman is bad at?” Rooster joked.

Jake laughed, “I still haven’t found that one thing I’m bad at.”

“Y/N, is he bad at anything?” Penny winked at you.

You blushed and shook your head, “Not a thing,”

“You know there isn’t much of a difference between being bad at something and not good at something.” Rooster explained, “So if he’s not good at something, that could qualify as being bad at something.”

“You are grasping for anything, aren’t you?” Jake laughed.

“Give the girl a chance to answer,” Rooster chided.

“My answer remains unchanged,” You smirked, leaning into Jake’s chest. Your cheeks were so hot from blushing they nearly hurt.

“You’re embarrassing the poor girl,” Phoenix softly smacked Rooster.

“Alright, everyone out.” Penny clapped her hands. “Except you, you and you,” She pointed to you, Jake, and Rooster.

The group filed out of the room one by one. You knew why you and Jake were staying behind but were unsure what Rooster had to do. Penny slid the pocket door closed and immediately got a giddy look on her face.

“Do you have it?” She asked Rooster.

“Huh?” You looked at Jake, confused. He laughed and kissed your temple.

“Here,” Rooster pulled a small box out of his pocket.

Penny opened the box, smiling as she examined the content.

“See, you wouldn’t have won if I didn’t have this precious cargo in my pocket.” Rooster joked.

“Uh-huh, sure.” Jake rolled his eyes.

“Look!” Penny turned the box to you.

Your jaw dropped. Inside the box was a beautiful gold engagement band with six small diamonds split around one larger. It was a dainty but elegant ring.

“It’s beautiful, Rooster,” You smiled at him, Natasha was your best friend, and you knew she would love this. “Babe, is this why you were asking me all these weird cryptic questions the last few weeks?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, smirking, “I couldn’t exactly tell you what he was planning.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. I can keep a secret.” You pouted.

Jake set the knife down and looked at you with a serious expression. “Baby, what are the exceptions for who you can share secrets with?”

“Your husband and your, oh,” You stopped for a second, “your best friend.” You trailed off.

“Wait, he’s not your husband.” Rooster pointed out.

“Yet,” Jake mumbled.

“What do you mean, yet?” Penny directed at Jake.

“It’s not a secret. It’s just a matter of when, where, and how.” Jake shrugged.

He wasn’t lying. There had been many conversations, some joking but some serious. You both knew from the moment you met that that was it. You were staring at your forever. You didn’t want it rushed or in some cliché way.

“Thank god I didn’t lose that bet.” Penny laughed.

“What bet?” Jake asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Her and Mave bet that your trip to Vegas a few weeks ago was to get married.”

“Why would we go to Vegas to get married?” Jake was confused.

“We would do it with all of you and our families.” You added.

“Well, y’all have been going at it like rabbits, so we assumed you were probably pregnant at this point.” Rooster laughed.

Penny smacked him in the arm.

“You and Mave aren’t married, and you tell each other everything.” You pointed out.

There was a knock on the pocket door, “I’m withering away out here,” Coyote joked.

Rooster quickly closed the box and slipped it back into his pocket. Penny opened the pocket door and started handing dishes out to be placed on the table. You rushed around, ensuring everyone had full drinks, and nobody was taking liberties with the seating arrangements. Once Jake was done cutting the turkey and carrying it into the dining room, everyone sat around the table.

“I’m not going to give some lengthy speech,” Mave spoke as everyone sat down. “I do, however, want to thank all of you for everything over the last few months. We’ve had our growing pains, learning, and adjusting as a squad. But most importantly, growing as a family. Each of you means more to me than I can ever express.”

“Here, here,” The group cheered, raising their glasses.

Dinner flew by in a delicate blurt of laughter, love, and gratitude. Once you were full, you picked up your wine glass and leaned back in your chair, silently observing your new-found family. Their banter and laughs brought a smile to your own face.

Jake positioned himself closer to you, sitting back in a similar fashion with his arm stretching out across the back of your chair. You laid your head on his shoulder.

“Thank you for this,” You spoke softly.

“You did most of the cooking,”

“Not that; I mean all of them and for letting me be a part of this family.”

“I should be the one thanking you for putting up with all of us, especially me.”

You turned your head to look up at him, “yeah, you’re pretty hard to deal with.” You smirked.

“I love you,” He smiled back.

“And I love you.”

He kissed the top of your head.

Rooster cleared his throat, “Before Mr. and Mrs. Bagman gets all wrapped up in each other,” he pointed at you and Jake, “I wanted to take a moment while we are all here to say a few things.”

“Ooohhh,” Mickey cheered.

“Speech time,” Ruben beamed.

“I wanted to echo some of the things Mave said and say thank you to the team. We’ve been through a lot in the last few months with missions and finding a new normal with balancing inter-team, relationships, friendships, and family.” He looked over at Natasha and interlaced their fingers. “I want to thank you for all your acceptance and encouragement with this relationship. The uranium mission really reminded me of how fragile life is.”

Phoenix smiled back at him. She had a way of getting lost in his gaze like he was the only one in the room.

“Nat, my love, my best friend. I have to say that I am incredibly thankful for you. Your patience is an art form that I’ll never comprehend. You love me unconditionally and far more than I deserve some days.” Rooster choked up, his voice thick with emotion as he fished the small box from his pocket. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Would you allow me the honor of being your husband?”

He set the open box in front of her, and she covered her mouth in awe. Natasha was usually good at being able to reign in her emotions, but not at this moment. Happy tears filled her eyes, and she nodded.

“Yes, a thousand times yes.” She agreed, throwing her arms around his neck.

The room erupted in cheers and clapping as Rooster slid the ring over her ringer. You had managed to get her actual ring size, so there would be no need to resize it. Rooster had really relied on Jake to get the details from you, and it seemed to pay off. Silent, happy tears streamed down your cheeks as you looked at your best friend and her fiancé. Thankful that you got to be a part of that moment and all of their lives.

"Come in," You stated out of muscle memory. You stepped to the side to give them room to come in. You were trying desperately to keep it together, thinking of all the reasons a commanding officer would be at your home. 

Hondo closed the door as they stepped into the entryway. Suddenly you felt like the entire weight of the world sat on your chest, unable to breathe in or out. 

"Mrs. Seresin, I wish I was here under better circumstances." Admiral Bates stated. This was the first time being called Mrs. Seresin that didn't make you smile. "The commandant of the Navy has entrusted me to express his deep regret that your husband, Jacob, was killed in action on the third of March. The commandant extends his deepest sympathy to you and your family in your loss."

You stared at him in disbelief. You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. Looking at Hondo, you sickly hoped this was just a terrible joke. 

"I don't," Words finally started to come out, "I don't understand. Jake is fine. I'll call him. You'll see." You tried to sound strong in your belief. "Jake is fine." You repeated to yourself. 

Another knock came from the door behind Hondo. No one moved, but the door opened. For the briefest moment, you hoped it was a joke and Jake was coming through the door. But it was your uncle's girlfriend, Penny. She lived across the street and probably saw them pull in.

"Hondo?" Penny spoke with a question in her tone.

Hondo's face twisted up and he shook his head at Penny. She looked between him, Admiral Bates, and you. She came to you and pulled you into her chest. You buried your face in her shoulder and began to sob hysterically. It wasn't a joke. Your husband was really gone.

Today- Hours After the Funeral-

"Are you ready for this?" Mave asked, holding an envelope in his hand. 

You nodded. It was the death letter. Jake had spoken to you about it a few times. Explained that it had evolved over time and promised he wouldn't ever make you read it. In reality, it was a silly promise; he had no control if you had to read it. But you made him a promise; if he died while in the line of duty and you received the dreaded letter, you would wait until after the funeral. Wait until all the public grieving was over, and you could finally take the time to yourself. 

"This came with very specific instructions," Mave explained. "The note said to give it to you after the funeral and send you to his favorite place to read it." 

Penny handed you the keys to the bar, "Just lock up before you leave. If you need a ride, text me." She smiled solemnly.  

"Thank you," You mumbled back. "Really, I don't know how I would be making it through this without the two of you."

Mave pulled you into a tight hug. You knew this was hard on him. He'd already lost his wingman once. Sadly, he knew the steps you'd need to take and held your hand through the process. When you let go, you wiped at the tears pooling under your eyes.

"I'll see you guys in a while." You spoke again, softer this time, trying to keep your voice from breaking. 

Penny kissed your temple and turned away. When you and Jake first started dating, she always ensured you knew this was possible. The job was dangerous, and death was sure to follow them. 

It was a short drive from the house to The Hard Deck. You were thankful for that since the further you drove from the house, the more tears welled up in your eyes. You pulled into the parking lot at the bar and took a deep breath. You knew he wouldn't answer, but you just wanted to hear his voice, so you picked up your phone and pressed the icon with his face. 

"It's Jake, you know what to do. Probably won't call you back, so save yourself some time and call my wife." You chuckled at how accurate the statement was. 

You opened the car door and stepped out. The thick scent of salt water and the cool breeze overtook your senses. You passed the bar and headed straight for the beach behind it. You were thankful that it was secluded and only open to military personnel. It meant you were less likely to get caught bawling your eyes out by a passer-by. 

You kicked off your shoes when you got to the edge of the sand, picking them up in your hand to carry with you. When you made it to the edge of the water, up just enough that you wouldn't get caught in the waves when the tide came in, you sat down. You had on Jake's favorite Navy sweatshirt and yoga capris. A soft breeze kicked up, tousling your hair and wafting the scent of Jake that still lingered on his sweatshirt. 

Without another thought, you opened the dreaded envelope. 

My love,

I hope this letter never makes it to you. I hope you never have to read this or feel the heartache that comes along with it. The first time I wrote this after we got married, I swore that I would do everything in my power to be sure that you never had to read one of these. But if you did, by the end of it you wouldn't doubt for a second how much I love you.

The letter should have been delivered with specific instructions, so you should find yourself where the light meets the sea, at Breakers Beach. It was my favorite spot to visit, even before I met you. Though I never thought I could love the place more, you said yes to my proposal there, and became Mrs. Jacob Seresin in that exact spot. That's when I realized heaven could be a place on earth.

You smiled to yourself, remembering the first month after you married. Jake refused to call you anything but Mrs. Seresin. You belonged to him, and he wanted the whole world to know it. You didn't mind, each time he said it you would smile like a giddy schoolgirl and beam with pride. 

By now, I imagine my voicemail is half full of hang-ups from your calling. I wish that I could answer when you call. 

I know that we had big plans with life and I'm confident that I won't be able to find the words to express the pain it causes me at the thought that we won't be able to do them together. I hope you know you are not alone just because I may not be physically by your side. I'll watch over you no matter where you go or what you do.

Words have always failed me when it comes to telling you how much I love you. From the first time you beat me in a game of pool at The Hard Deck, I knew that my life would never be the same. I would either love you or be pining for you until the end of time. With the whispers between Phoenix and Penny, I thought that you would never give me a chance. There's no easy or less cheesy way to say this – but you changed me without even trying. I wanted to be a better man to be worthy of your attention. When you refused to go out with Hangman but accepted a date with Jake, I knew I could never go back to the man I was. 

He wasn't wrong; Penny and Nat had both spent countless hours telling you all the horror stories of Hangman. The one constant that you found was that none of the stories were about Jake. You played hard to get for a while before you agreed to go on a date with Jake. 

Your ability to call me on my bullshit with just a look or the way still to this day that my heart flutters a little when you say my name. I'm not sure I'll ever understand what I did to redeem myself and make myself worthy of you.  

I hope every time you hear the air cracks of a jet engine or see a contrail in the sky, you smile and think of me. I'll paint you pretty sunrises and sunsets every chance I get. 

I hope you know that I didn't want to leave you. But I'll always be here, in this place, where the light meets the sea.

I love you, always and forever. 

Yours,

Jake

You yelped when he startled you. This made him laugh harder. You wanted to be angry, but his glowing eyes, dimples, and kilowatt smile made it nearly impossible. Calling out to Siri to turn off the music, the bar was suddenly too quiet.

“It’s up there,” You spoke, nodding towards the front door and climbing down the ladder.

He held up his hands in defense, “Huh, I must have walked right by it.” He looked directly at it, then back at you. “You know, you shouldn’t be up on a ladder like that when no one is around. It’s dangerous.”

“Careful, Hangman, that almost sounds like you care.”

You and Jake had bantered back and forth since the first night he showed up at The Hard Deck 6 weeks ago. Before their mission, it seemed like mostly harmless flirting, sometimes just to get under the skin of Bradley, a brother figure to you. But something had shifted since they came back from wherever they were and learned that the detachment had become a permanent duty station. Longing looks, intentional conversations, and sometimes even lingering touches when you handed him his drinks or took a pool cue from him.

He ran his hand roughly across the back of his neck like he had just been caught doing something, “Well, you know, I,” He cut off, clearly coming up short of a response.

You bit your lip, a little disappointed that he couldn’t come up with a clever comeback. Looking down at your watch, you noticed it was just after 3PM. “Did you need something?”

“Actually, I was sent here to help you.” He spoke with a question in his tone.

“Um,” You raised your eyebrow at him.

“You don’t need help, do you?”

“Not really,” You shrugged. “I just need to finish these last three pillars. If you want to help, you can.”

Jake smirked, “Is Christmas karaoke part of the deal?”

You rolled your eyes, “I thought you didn’t like karaoke?”

“Oh, I don’t plan to participate.”

You threw a strand of garland at him, “Then absolutely not,”

“How about you supervise, and I’ll hang these?”

“Sure,”

He stepped back so he could examine the already completed pillar. He wasn’t going to need your direction for what to do.

“Does Penny always decorate the bar for Christmas?”

“No, definitely not. She barely decorates the house. This was all me.”

“I should have guessed.” He laughed, “Mave said when he came home, it looked like Christmas had thrown up at Penny’s place.”

You laughed, “That sounds pretty accurate. It’s my first Christmas away from the tree farm.” You finished solemnly.

He looked down from where he was working, “You lived on a tree farm?”

“Sure did. My dad bought it when he got out of the Marine Corps.”

“I’d think that would make someone dread Christmas decorations.”

“Not at all; well, I guess not for my family or me, at least. November 1st was always decorating day.” You smiled to yourself, “Some years if I got to my dad when he was in a really great mood, I could get away with decorating on Halloween.”

Jake laughed. “How does he feel about having to decorate himself this year?”

“He actually passed a few years ago.”

His face fell, “Shit,” Jake apologized, “I’m so sorry; I shouldn’t have asked.”

You held up your hand to stop him, “No apologies, really. It does my heart good to talk about him.” You smiled, “If he was still alive, I probably wouldn’t be here. But, if I was, he’d probably make me come home for a special trip just to decorate.”

“Were you two very close?” He was still looking down at you, so you could see the earnest curiosity on his face.

Nodding, you smiled at your memories, “He was my hero, therapist, and counselor. It sounds so cliché, but he was my best friend.”

The two of you fell into easy conversation. He asked about your dad and your favorite holiday traditions. And you returned the asks. He shared his experience with his first Christmas on a carrier.

It was a different side of Jake, one you’d never seen but found yourself in raptures with. The way he lit up when he talked about his own family, especially his parents. The genuine curiosity in his expression when you spoke of home. None of the typical characteristics that you’d grown to expect appeared. He was kind and attentive.

Jake climbed down the ladder and stepped back, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with you. He was so close you could feel the heat radiating off him. He looked up at the finished pillars, admiring his handy work.

“Not bad, Hangman. Not bad.” You nodded, smiling at his work.

“You know, you can call me by my name.” He spoke softly, almost too softly.

You turned slightly, catching a glimpse of him, taking in your awe at the decorations.

“Thank you for your help, Jake.” You spoke his name.

There was something about the way his name just rolled off the tip of your tongue like it was the most natural thing for you to say. The corners of his lips pulled up into a soft smile. Whatever you were feeling from saying something so simple, he was undoubtedly feeling too.  

“Oh, hi there,” Jimmy spoke, coming from the stock room. He looked around the bar, “Wow, (Y/N), this place looks great.”

Before he finished his sentence, you and Jake had backed away from each other.

“Thanks, Jimmy!” You beamed, “We are just finishing up here.”

Looking at your watch again, you noticed it was just after 4PM. The bar would be opening soon, which meant Penny would be here soon too.

“Can I help clean up?” Jake asked.

You turned to answer him, not realizing he had stepped closer. You found yourself within a paper-thin distance from him. Your hands landed on his chest, and his arms instinctively closed you in to keep you from falling backward at the sudden contact. You should have moved apart as soon as your bodies were capable of moving. But you found yourself lost in the golden green eyes looking back at you. The hands on the small of your back keep you close to him.

Something was happening. A shift in the unspoken friendship the two of you had developed. His eyes held so many questions; you could only imagine yours mirrored his. You heard the stock room door swing closed, pulling the two of you from your trance.

“Uh,” Jake said, releasing you, “Where does the ladder go?” He asked.

Giving him quick instructions, you watched as he folded it up, walking away from you. The room felt like the temperature had dropped ten degrees, and you could have sworn that your skin was tingling from where his hands had just been. You took a deep breath and tried to shake out your mind.

Clean-up went quickly. You mainly had been cleaning up as you went. After putting the scissors, tape, and tacks in the office, you locked the door and went into the stock room to let Jimmy know you were leaving. He again complimented you on the decorations and wished you a good night off before you left the room.

When you walked back to grab your purse from the bar, you were surprised to see Jake standing there waiting for you. He hadn’t said goodbye, so you shouldn’t have been surprised. Your face betrayed you, lighting up when you saw him.

“You’re still here,” You smiled at him, your voice betraying you as much as your face just had.

He smiled, nodding. “Have to make sure you didn’t any more help. I’d hate to report back that I left you with more to do.”

This made you laugh, “Everything is all set. I was just getting ready to go back home. I don’t work tonight.” You made your way toward where he was standing by the front door.

“You don’t?” He questioned, almost seeming disappointed. “I thought you worked every Saturday.”

“Almost. Penny gave me this weekend off and told me I needed to take a break.”

“You do work a lot.” He agreed.

“You come here a lot.” You laughed. “Though I can’t say that you drink a lot. Half the time, you aren’t drinking.”

He shrugged, “What if I said I came here to see you?”

Your breath caught in your throat, thinking back to all the nights he’d been here since he came back from the mission. He often stayed later than the rest of his team, and on slow nights, he’d sit at the bar and talk to you.

“You know, if you took a step to the left, you’d be under the mistletoe.” He observed in a near whisper.

Without hesitation, you stepped to the left and looked up to ensure you were standing under it. He chuckled softly when you looked back at him and stepped towards you.

His lips were on yours. They were smooth and warm as they molded against your own. His hand rested on the side of your neck and the other on your side, holding you close to him. Your arms wrapped around his waist, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

“Oh, thank god,” You heard Natasha’s voice from behind Jake.

Your kiss broke, but neither of you moved to pull yourself from the other, looking at your mutual friend only to see Bradley and your Aunt Penny had arrived too.

Bradley’s smile stretched from ear to ear, “I told you it would work.” He high-fived Natasha.

“You put mistletoe in a bar?” Penny laughed, pointing at the sign.

“Bet you didn’t think it would have that result,” Natasha laughed.

You and Jake turned back to each other. He kissed you again, chastely, this time considering the audience.

“Okay, okay. We get the point.” Bradley cleared his throat. You could hear Penny laugh as she walked away.

Jake released his hold on your neck, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder, and pulled you in tight. Natasha had turned curly into Bradley’s side and his arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her in close.

“We couldn’t handle the pining anymore.” Nat finally offered.

“Mave told me you’d be here decorating,” Bradley added.

“So, I suggested Jake come help.”

“And I told him that I was supposed to, but something came up.”

You were amused at Nat and Bradley’s ability to finish each other’s sentences.

Jake laughed, “I assumed it was just an excuse to get me out of the house.”

“That was just an added bonus,” Bradley admitted.

The four of you laughed.

“I got lectured for being on a ladder alone.” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“In my defense, she was lost in her own world, anyone could have scared her, and she could have fallen.”

“You mean like you scared me.” You pulled back to look up at him.

“Yes, but I would have caught you.”

“Look, their first fight.” Natasha fake-cooed.

You rolled your eyes.

“I would have trusted you to catch me.” You confessed.

“Mushy,” Bradley coughed. “Can I assume girl’s night is canceled, and I can have my girl?”

You looked up at Jake with near certainty that he’d agree.

“Yes,” Jake answered for you, looking back at you. “I’m not ready to let this one out of my arms.”

Natasha’s smiled in approval.

Bradley patted Jake’s arm, “We’re out of here before I throw up at all this mushy love-sick stuff.” He turned them to start back out the door, “Hey, Hangman,” He called back, “Don’t break her heart.”

Jake nodded back to him, “Wouldn’t dream of it, Rooster.”

You smiled, burying your face in his chest.  Content didn’t begin to explain how you were feeling.