#hanbyulfmd

taejoo had put off moving out of the trainee dorms and into the quicksilver dorm for about as long as he could. he still felt like everything about this was a terrible idea. he had a naturally nervous disposition and so he was already thinking about all the ways in which this could go south immediately. which of course meant he spent much more time than necessary packing up. but he had to be moved in to the quicksilver dorm by the end of the month so there was only so much time he could postpone the inevitable.

when he arrived at the apartment his heart was hammering away in his his throat instead of his chest where it belonged. he hesitated outside of the door visions of two pairs of angry eyes glaring at him. he wasn’t sure if the other three had moved in yet but he was selfishly hoping the other trainee would be there instead. taejoo knocked briefly on the dorm door hoping to alert anyone who might be inside to his presence before carefully letting himself in.

of course the door closed on one of the many bags he was carrying with him making a loud noise that taejoo flinched at. it took a couple seconds of fighting to get everything through the door. he’d only just barely managed to fit his things in the various gym bags and suitcases he had and realistically he probably should have made two trips but taejoo didn’t particularly want that so he’d weighed himself down with more suitcases and bags than he knew what to do with.

“...hello?” taejoo called hesitantly after getting the door closed behind himself. “...is anyone here?i’m sorry for the noise.” he had no idea if he was talking to himself at this point or not. but he almost hoped that he was. it would be much easier to forget the embarrassment that way.

“that growing boys eat a lot, like, crazy amounts. how the hell does all the food constantly keep disappearing, it really is insane. how do these kids eat so much?”

“it’s definitely a challenge and a half to give away that control. i don’t even have any real desire to lead champion and i’m sure it’s best that i don’t for everyone involved. but i don’t know how not to be the leader. that sounds weird, i know that. i’m not the best socially and being unity’s leader kind of gave me some direction in that aspect, in how to interact with the boys and what not and with that gone i’m- definitely having hard time finding my place and figuring out the dynamics of champion and all that. but like i said before, i’m glad not to be champion’s leader, i don’t think i could have been able to take that on top of everything. plus jiseok is doing a great job, i wouldn’t want to take away from that.”

“let’s be fair, it was good that i didn’t say a lot of things i wanted to say at the time. it’s not that i wasn’t happy for you but with us going up against each other for that same spot in mars it was a messy time. and i didn’t handle it properly, i gave you the cold shoulder and was incredibly hostile and i won’t deny any of that.  most things that were going through my mind at the time weren’t pretty, kinda thing comes with being held back twice. but none of the blame was ever on you for that and none of the things that i wanted to say at the time weren’t fair. i was just angry. i’m just glad i saw the light on that by now.”