#halthaya

I fear my pronouns will be all over the place in this one. I suspect they often are anyway. I have thought about how to get at mûl-ôl without the topic derailing and tangenting into half a dozen other topics. If the psychic censor, if halthaya and hurur distract us from the magical and from the Otherworlds, if they lead us to forget the magical and the Otherworlds, then mûl-ôl is the experience…

The premise of magic is much the same as the premise of art—the allure of magic is much the same as the allure of theater and art. Mages imagine some result, some reality they wish to make actual, and they work magic to do so. Playwrights, meanwhile, imagine realities that they make happen—if only onstage and for a brief time. Painters imagine realities and make them come into being. Now, you’re…

I rited last night, mostly in trance and meditation. One thing I found myself doing was calling down coils of Luin for the gods and friends—hell, doing so for myself as a matter of praxis—which at least seems to help me. I asked the Morrigan for Her help in helping me remember what being a faerie means, and I know it’s in my blood and bone, locked there long ago. In the second attention, I felt…

[My dreams last night were] something like that –vividness that the Morrigan pointed me to last night in the Otherworlds, as I stood on the root in Saiyûnor, Elethis towering over me while I stood small like—a tiny faerie. But it was the sky She pointed me towards, to pay attention to. The blue with clouds and dark with night. In the glade, it has often been twilight or pre-dawn. But the…

Last night, K and [I] headed back out along the path to Elethis again, coming to the thicket wall. I passed it well enough, into a trail in the Dark Wood. Scale started shifting, and the terrain grew more blobby and indistinct, and so I went down a way again to re-orient. Scale was indeed shifting as I came to Elethis’s environs. K suggested I was quite prepared. While on this excursion, flashes…

Apocalypse, the Future, Capitalism

Apocalyptic Paradoxes Leaving the movie I was struck by the fact that most of the stories people in our culture tell about organized resistance against oppression are set in dystopias created in the wake of a cataclysm. And indeed, apocalyptic events seem to be the only thing most people believe can bring an end to capitalism. From people praying and organizing to bring about the collapse of…

Running Hot, Professional Halthaya, Magic

At the moment, my desire and will feels too ejaculatory, suppressed and under pressure, and I feel unsure how to release, channel, express those forces. My mind wants to run hot & rampant and layer everything with words.

I know I overthink and overstress myself in regards to challenges like these—I remember slacking and procrastinating from boredom and depressiveness in late elementary school,…

In waking up this morning, I felt anxious about money, work, today’s schedule, the looming fall schedule. I was aware that these felt like old, habitual fears,–the clenching from worry about my tooth, as well—but those things are what the energy work, med’n, aligning, and practice should help. Ground me in mindfulness, wholeness, connectedness, my magic. Not ignore problems, but be responsive to…