#halictus-writer

My new wolfstar fic, Pedagogy to the Test, has landed on AO3! This is a multi chapter sequel to Teaching and Learning. It's spring, and Sirius is staying at Hogwarts.

I think we can all use a comforting tale right now. This will be about the same length as Teaching and Learning, and I'll post new chapters regularly. Chapter two will be posted in about a week.

I give my great big box of candy hearts a shake...

I open it up to pull one out for @halictus-writer and see the inscription...

Fic: Forget-Me-Not, by halictus, @halictus-writer

Rating: Teen and up.

Genre: Romance, light relational angst. Non-magical, modern day AU. Memory loss and relationship development.

Word count:  12.9K, 6 chapters, completed.

Summary: For someone who just woke up with amnesia and a bad concussion, Remus Lupin isn't too dispirited. He'll get through it with the help of his friends, taking it one day at a time, as Sirius says. The only (other) problem? There's something important that he's forgetting.

Major CW: Memory loss and short-term memory issues, light angst centered mostly in the relationship between Sirius and Remus, but also some reflections on Remus’ memory loss. There are some glimpses at internalized homophobia related to religious guilt, but it’s not the focus of the story and it’s easily resolved by the character.

Mod Moth thoughts: This story is so complex and has so many levels, and still, stays faithful to itself. It has a good mixture of keeping things light and soft while also dipping its toes in light angst. The best way I have to describe it is based on the atmosphere - slightly sad and bittersweet, even with the happy ending. Remus and Sirius are very careful and soft here, and the way they move around each other makes your heart ache with the most beautiful longing. Their friendship is very honest and real, and the ending explains perfectly where the cracks in their relationship were, and how Remus’ doubts and hesitance is legitimate. An amazing work of more ‘casual’ representation, where the focus is not the social identities or disabilities of the characters (but let me tell you, Latino, disabled Remus holds a especial place in my heart), but they still are part of who they are.

this is the perfect approach. you’re absolutely right. why choose?!?

My latest wolfstar AU is now complete! Feel free to check it out on AO3.

Remus attends a tropical biology conference as the plus one of an invited speaker, soon-to-be Dr. Sirius Black. The only problem? They're just friends. And Sirius is seeing someone else. Right? Why did Sirius invite him? At least the weather's nice.

16k words, rated teen. I hope you like it!

Everything is hazy, and time flows inconsistently for what must be a while. Flickers of recent memory feel dreamlike, drifting away, but memories of life are still clear. Remus knows he is dead now, that much is certain. And yet, he still hasn’t gone on, to whatever is next. He is stuck somehow. Haze drifts back in. If he sleeps, then he dreams of ice blue eyes, and the sight of them honed in on himself, as he walked up the subway steps with hundreds of others.

The others had passed through, accompanied by three other cloaked figures—reapers—but Remus had stayed. This happened more than once. The reaper who watched him eventually spoke, or Remus dreamt he had. His name is Sirius. Remus remembers that much.

They’re standing alone together now, in the subway station.

“I mean,” Remus starts. “It’s a big commitment.”

“Yes.”

“Hundreds of years,” Remus realizes while saying it. “Of this.”

“Thousands, sometimes,” the reaper corrects. “I believe.”

“How?”

“Well.” The reaper thinks, and glances around. He taps something against the cobbled wall behind them. It’s the first time Remus notices the anachronism of their surroundings. Amidst a yellow-glowing subway station, two flights of stairs stretch up, then round a corner out of sight. The cobblestone wall stretches backwards behind them, lush grass on the other side.

The reaper jumps up to sit atop the wall. He swings his legs, making him look younger. “One does it for a long time, until they lose their humanity.”

Remus shifts, uncomfortable.

“It helps to have attachments,” the reaper adds.

“Attachments to what? This is just limbo. Isn’t it?”

The reaper—Sirius—turns to face Remus directly. Remus tries to not look away. His face is hauntingly handsome, even despite their situation. “Attachments to others. Others they love.”

Remus breathes in, then out, then sits on the wall as well. He can remember his life easily, but he also remembers walking up these subway station stairs over and over, surrounded by other people. Other people that aren’t here anymore. “How long have I been here already? In this, this, pseudo-death?”

“The in-between?” Sirius offers.

“Yes.”

The reaper doesn’t answer.

“How long have you been here?” Remus asks.

“A long time.”

“How long?” “Hundreds of years, definitely. Possibly thousands.”

“How have you done it? Maintained your… humanity, I guess?”

The reaper stills his hand. Remus doesn’t notice until the sound stops, but Sirius had been tapping something against the wall. It looks like an ancient coin, possibly medieval.

“It was foretold that I would get to love someone eventually.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

Remus concentrates on their surroundings. He can almost see the walls shimmer under scrutiny. “Is that person me?”

“Yes.”

“Then I suppose I don’t have a choice. I have to become one of you and stay here.” To become a reaper, and spend an indefinite time helping humans cross between life and death. To Remus it feels… cold.

“There is always a choice, Remus Lupin. Do not forget that you must always choose your own path.”

“What happens if I stay?”

“Then you stay.”

“What happens if I go?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” the reaper admits. “I would free your soul from your body, and both would depart this space. Both would have peace, for you were good in life, but I don’t believe that peace would be something you consider consciousness.”

“Okay. Then I’m choosing.”

“What are you choosing, Remus Lupin?”

“I’m choosing to stay.”

Sirius looks up, breath catching. “You must be certain. Are you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“For the rituals to work, I mean. Do you have a strong reason to stay and become who you will? And do what you will do?”

Remus thinks. He thinks for a long time—they seem to have nothing but it here. They just sit in silence; Sirius taps his coin again. Eventually, Remus speaks.

“In life, I had friends, and I had a pleasant network of people who supported me, and who I supported. I don’t quite know why I had to die so young, but I know these things sometimes just happen. But I’ve never been in love. I would like to know what that’s like.”

743 words, pre-slash. Rated teen.

He came by in his funeral suit.

Against the black clothes—jacket, shirt, tie—his skin was pale, but his smile was warm, and finally at ease. Remus opened the door wider to let him in, surprised to see him, especially today.

Sirius’s smile grew. “Well?”

“I haven’t got ingredients for dinner,” Remus confessed. “Or at least not a good one.”

“Then let’s go get dinner.” Sirius said it matter-of-factly, but his bright eyes verged on teasing.

Remus accepted the challenge, raising his chin. It helped that Sirius had already sat on his dingy couch. “If you’re buying.”