#halfmarathonfeels

They say that when you race, you run faster than your normal pace because of all the adrenaline.  I don’t think this was my case.  I spent way too much time in my head and didn’t feel comfortable until 10km into the race.   My original and ideal goal was to finish within 2 hours, but I knew I had to be more realistic so I had my goal as a range - somewhere between 2 and 2:15. I finished with the final time of 2:04:18 - and I’m not totally happy with it, but I’m ok with it.  

I went into the race with the mindset: this is just another run, just do what you do, don’t worry about everyone else.  The start of the race felt good, but that positive attitude and feeling didn’t last long.  It’s hard to keep it up you’ve got bunch of other runners around you.  It’s hard when you hear the rustle of your bib and reminded that you’re chipped and tracked. It’s hard when you hear a set of rhythmic footsteps approaching from behind, its hard when you get that sinking feeling as someone passes you…again…

At some point from 0 to 5 km, my legs were lead, I wanted to go home and questioned my whole existence (ha! not actually that dramatic but pretty close!).  As I kept running, I kept trying to find a valid reason to stop going - like, waking up at 5am sucks, I didn’t sleep good the night before, I wasn’t ready, I had only trained for a month - if that.  I considered calling M (even though I didn’t have a phone) and having him pick me up.  I ran through the different conversations we would have had - in one conversation, he would tell me to stop being a baby and finish the race, in another he would sympathize and and come pick me up.  As the rare vehicle passed by on the highway, I fantasized scenarios where they would stop and ask how I’m doing (small towns are friendly like that, right?!), and then give me a lift back to town.  Even as I passed by houses, I thought about what the insides of their places would look like, and wondered if they let me in to hang out? maybe they would let me in on their Saturday breakfast?

None of these scenarios or excuses actually panned out. Probably for the better.  Not finishing would have been more disappointing.  As I kept running, the group started to spread out and I started to move out of my head and more into my body.  It didn’t matter so much who was in front/behind me, how far away they were, how far I had ran or what time it was.  My lead legs didn’t last long and I got into a good pace, a good breath and was actually enjoying the gorgeous scenery. I can’t imagine a more perfect morning to be running - no rain, no wind, slight overcast at 12 or 13 degrees.  Top that with scenic mountains, green grass, quiet highways, friendly volunteers and the most clearly marked course ever.  Though I didn’t finish the race within 2 hours, I did finish 3rd place out of my age group of 20-29 year olds.  I got a cookie medal and came out feeling amazing.  Contrary to the race name, I didn’t suffer much - if at all! no fatigue, cramps, “the wall” AND most importantly, I finished.  So in my books, that’s a win (✿◠‿◠)