#halfdeadwriting

Is a nightmare

For every reason it used be

reversed

It is bygone

A memory

A reminder

When a church is abandoned, when it is overgrown with gnarled branches and nightshade and cypress, when the marbled statues and the hand painted sceneries chip and fade, do the walls remember? Do they creak and groan, whispering tales of what once filled them, even when no ears remain to listen?

Do those who used to live inside the warmth of its hardwood floors, who once found comfort in its embrace, recall all the joy they felt, oh so many years ago, or do they lament what time has done to it? Do they think of the bitter winds that swept through it, that lead to its disarray? Do they mourn its long dead future?

Do the corridors realize they are haunted by the fragments and shadows of those who loved it enough to stay, in some way? Does it know that its broken beams and peeling drywall make up the flesh and bone of those who can’t quite bear to leave it behind? That somewhere, a rotting arch lives among something’s marrow, that its hymns are etched in another’s veins?

When echos, old and weary, try to whisper under the ever-building dust, does the sediment know to reminisce? Does it care to?

Wild, wild wolf. Teeth sharp as fangs, coated in blood. Growl, fierce and loud. To scare, for fun, in fear. Reason melts away. Violence seeps into the soul, taking joy in it.

Clever, clever raven. Take the shiniest things. The valuables. Smarts prevail. Soar and fly and hide. Running away is easier in the sky. 

Lucky, lucky cat. Death cannot catch what lives nine lives. Fate favors felines. Stare the reaper down, know many lives are left. Fur and skin will feel another day of the sun’s warmth. 

I never made an introductory post when I started, but I will now.

I’m half-deadpoet, and this is my writing blog. I used to write prose poetry, to try and revive some of my urge to write.

Much of my old work was created with real experiences and feelings mixed with fiction, but I am trying to move away from the fiction side of it all. That was more there to mask myself, anyways.

I am more than happy to receive criticism if you have any, be it the constructive kind, as I am always looking to improve my work.

I also do enjoy talking to people, so replies and asks, but most especially asks, mean the world to me.

Thank you for reading all this, and sticking around, whether new or old.

When you used to sleep over, we would stay up all night, neither of us remembering when we went to sleep, despite us always waking up blurry eyed in the morning. At the start, I would always set up an air mattress for you, but you never used it. Not once. No, you always wiggled your way into my full bed, refusing to leave when I tried to kick you out. My attempts were always half-hearted, though. We talked about everything and nothing. Gossip, a new show one of us forced the other to watch, anything. I pretended I would fall asleep easily, to hear what you would say to me, testing to see if I really was asleep. You almost never noticed I wasn’t. You don’t sleep over anymore. Some nights, I think I hear. your laughter, you whispering something to me. I turn around, starting to reply. All I see is a void, emptiness in a space where only joy and light used to be. No hand pulling me in for affection. One that would stay in mine through the night, long after consciousness. No smile, telling me to stay up, that the night has barely begun. A smaller one on your face, even in sleep. One that made me happy, too. Some nights, I wake up reaching my hand out to where you used to be. I expect to find you, but I grab air. I expect to inhale the scent of your detergent. Spruce, like a forest on a cloudy day. Comforting and familiar. Instead, I smell dust. I miss the feeling for your green silk pajamas. Their feeling is almost a distant memory now. When you used to sleep over, we would stay up all night. Now, I stay up, staring at the empty space next me.

im thinking about starting to give them vague names! anyways here it is

When I look at her, I see life. I see the ocean, glimmering in the sunlight, ever-changing and yet still the same. A beauty that never gets old. I see a painting, flowing watercolor eyes, the bright background blurred and dull in comparison. Something meant to be hung up in a gallery. I see the night sky, twinkling with curiosity and depth, holding mystery I want to explore. I see endless possibilities. I see my future. When your eyes meet mine, for a split second, what do you see? What do you see when you look at me? The moon? Mountains? The flame of a candle? 

Or do you see the past

 Do you see something you left behind, unknowingly

Something you don’t care enough to go back for.

Your face fills my senses, your laughter my soul. It’s sweet, to imagine a moment where the world melts away and you are mine. Where you are the right person, where it is the right time. Where I kiss the smile you grace the world with, and I hear that laugh filled with joy when we breathe. Where I can hold your hand and you won’t let go. I want to wrap my soul around yours, tying us together, intertwined like the stars born anew. I want to dance with you, our feet stumbling over the other’s, where we laugh it off and I twirl you. Where you lay on my chest, and we simply look into each other's eyes. Like we are the missing piece. Like if we stay here in this moment, maybe everything will be okay. But I don’t think it will happen. I don’t think we will run through an open field together, I don’t think we will go on rain filled dates, I don’t think I am who you want to love. So I dream. I dream of you every night, wishing, wishing you were by my side, head dug into me, while I run my fingers through your hair, taking in the smell of your conditioner that I love. And it will be almost real. I’ll recreate your laughter and your smile, and the details of your face. I’ll imagine them in words, in art, in thoughts, in my dreams. And it will be almost be enough;

got a burst of motivation so i wrote again