#haemaglobin

Late reply is embarrassingly late. I really enjoyed this chapter. Things are picking up and I cant wait to see what happens. I like the way that the plans for escape were framed, interspersed between Madnars instructions and the present. 

A slight tilt of the head. A nod. At one point, when the doctor had made a positively ludicrous suggestion about escaping through air vents, he managed an incredulous glare.

Looks like Jack isnt the only one who learns valuable lessons from movies. It's a good thing that Jack has some practical experience in this area, enough to refrain from giddy agreement. 

I have this mental image of Madnar hunched over his torso, aged spindly fingers working over the strands of muscle, and in mask-muffled voice, referring to the airduct with this certain heroic hope.... he cant help but allow his eyes to drift to the duct at the corner of the ceiling, as if only the dusty grill stood between him and the outside world. Following his gaze, Jack tilts his head to looks as well, and for few seconds they stare in silence at the vent. 

Reluctantly, Madnar's gaze breaks off, eyes still brimming with infectious promise....he lifts his gaze to his patient.....

And Jack is like ಠ_ಠ

His whitish pseudo-flesh felt smooth and cold,

Cyborg, the other white meat.

There were two parallel sets of thick tubes feeding into his back, and he wrenched them away, their rubber seals popping audibly. A whitish fluid leaked steadily from them, forming tiny pools on his gurney.

This is AMAZING foreshadowing. He pulls them out without any inkling of what they do.......welp, I guess autotoxemia is 20/20

They’d taken his blood, too - and his nanos, presumably. 

ehehehehe.....I see what you did there... 

Also, I really like "Concentrated loathing" I'm appropriating it (and "pulsating in wonderment") to my own vocabulary.

Fingering the keycard, he pried open the door, the unfamiliar click of his footsteps following him. He peered cautiously out into the hallway, checking for passerby, before he inched outside, shoulders ducked.

Little Billy is sad.... his master has gone where he cannot follow. Had he been whole, with four good wheels, he would not have been left behind. Silently, he cursed his rusted third wheel. :(

5- or 6-year-old girl

Sunny is 5-6? 

Interesting... that means that this is fairly close to the beginning of MGS4

but he wondered, when had it truly begun? Had the first step towards this freakish new form been the nanomachines? The markings they’d left on his skin? 

I approve of this train of meta

Some other thoughts

He moves pretty well with no or limited calibration.It's possible that madner installs more muscles in the mornings and he gets run on the treadmill, in the afternoons, and it's jsut never mentioned. I'd think that maybe when Madnar begins to mention the possibility of escape with him, his attitude changes, and he begins to view these tests as a a means to an end, as a way of getting used to his new body in preperation for that day. He pushed himself extra extra hard.. Hudson is pleased and surprised....he has no idea what's coming. 

IM DEVELOPING HEADCANONS HALP

I'm sorry, but I have some mixed feelings about the sign language section. It's great that they can communicate, but it kind of felt like Dues ex ASL!, or some sudden new ability that is revealed when convenient. I'm not sure how this would have been handled. He probably wouldn't get much across with simply wheezing and nasal squealing. 

I really enjoy how you occasionally go back and edit the sections, as it makes for interesting re-reading, which I do often. 6:37!....wow... I thought he had more time... this is going to get interesting. 

Madnar's investing a lot in this, it's telling on both how lonely he is, and how much he loathes what he's forced to do. 

I really do enjoy the additional descriptions of the room. It really helps paint a very complete mental picture of the environment  I wonder a lot about the matrix of settings, sights and sounds that these characters exist in. Environment is very ingrained part of the characters within a narrative. 

More thoughts added as they come to me.